radio scripts for Monday, November 28, 2016 THE BEASMAN #1 it’s over OH BOO HOO HOOOOO! KEEP CRYIN’ YOUR CARDINAL TEARS…THEY’RE DELICIOUS! (laffs) AWWWWW C-A-T-S! CATS! CATS! CATS! KEEP BURNIN THEM COUCHES, CAT FANS! THIS HERE IS BIGGER ‘EN CHRISTMAS! U UH KAY DONE SLAYED THE EVIL CARDINAL DEMONS! STEPHEN JOHNSON FOR HEISMAN! MARK STOOPS FOR S.E.C. COACH OF THE YEAR! U UH KAY WILDCATS FOR THE PLAYOFFS! BOOM WILLIAMS FOR PLAYER OF THE YEAR! AWWWW BLUE! WHITE! BLUE! WHITE! CATS! CATS! CATS! (laffs) IT’S FINALLY OVER FOR YOU LOWDOWN, SAGGY PANTS, BACKWARDS CAP, RAP MUSIC, NECK TATTOO, GANG BANG, U OF SMELL CARDINAL POSERS. YOU DONE BEEN EXPOSED BY THE GOOD AND CLASSY KENTUCKY WILDCATS! AIN’T NO
Month: November 2016
Blue Christmas
Louisville businessman Jonathan Blue filed for divorce earlier this year alleging that his (now former) wife Tracy was having an affair with Texas Longhorns head coach Charlie Strong. Mr. Blue asked for the return of several expensive gifts Mrs. Blue had allegedly given the coach and there was a subpoena issued for his testimony in their divorce case. The divorce proceedings were resolved prior to any court appearance by Strong. Court documents claimed that Mrs. Blue and Coach Strong, both married at the time, began their affair while Strong was the head coach at the University of Louisville where Jonathan Blue was on the school's Board of Trustees. Claims made in a lawsuit give only one side of a case. Mr.
Cats stun Cards 41-38 in football reversal of fortunes
It was a swagger switch no one anticipated...totally Trumpian in its scope. Ever since Donald Trump won the presidential election, the football fortunes of the University of Kentucky and University of Louisville turned in completely opposite directions. UK is soaring and UofL is imploding. Mark Stoops' Kentucky Wildcats were 25 point underdogs coming into Louisville's stadium for the regular season closer. Kentucky spent the season climbing out of its own rubble of unexpected early losses to eventually become bowl eligible. Louisville was sniffing the national championship playoffs until the Houston Cougars destroyed them last week. But at least UofL quarterback Lamar Jackson remained the prohibitive favorite to win the Heisman trophy. He even struck the pose
A U of L playoff is way off
THE BEASMAN Louisville football hammered HEY LARRRRRRREEEEEEEE! LARRY MINNERRRRR! YOUR CARDINAL TEARS IS DELICIOUS! THE BOOGER WAS RIGHT! NO PLAYOFFS FOR YOUR CARDINAL FRAUDS! CANCEL THE HEISMAN TROPHY! HOUSTON DONE EXPOSED LAY-MAR JACKSON AND HIS LITTLE HOPELESS CARDINAL BIRDS AS OVERRATED FRAUDS. OVERRATED! OVERRATED! LAY-MAR AINT GITTIN NO HEISMAN TROPHY…IT’S GOIN TO BOOM WILLIAMS. LAY-MAR GOT SACKED MORE THAN A KARDASHIAN ON A NBA TEAM BUS. AND YOUR OTHER GUYS WAS FUMBLIN ALL OVER THE PLACE. BUT I GOTTA TELL YA…Y’ALL GOT A GREAT PUNTER! (laff) HE WAS OUT THERE KICKIN LIKE A RADIO CITY ROCKETTE. KICK IT AGAIN, PUNTER MAN. IT’S THE ONLY YARDAGE U OF SMELL CAN MUSTER
Prayers delivered
After the most contentious election season of our lifetimes, Amazon delivered the best healing image of the year