THE BEASMAN cats lose to LSU T-T-T-TELL ME IT WAS ALL A BAD DREAM! (long cry) I CAINT GIT OUTTA BED TODAY C-C-C-C CUZ MY PRECIOUS KENTUCKY WILDCATS LOSTED LAST NIGHT. (cry) THAT NASTY L.S.U. PLAYER DID A 360 DUNK AT THE FINAL BUZZER TO MOCK THE CATS EVEN MORE! (cry) WHY, GOD, WHY? (cry) THE G-G-G-GOOD AND CLASSY KENTUCKY WILDCATS GOT DISRESPECTERCATED DOWN THERE AT L.S.U. (cry) THE CATS WAS LEADING BY 9 POINTS WITH TWO MINUTES LEFT AND THEN (cry) ALL HADES BROKE LOOSE! (long cry) THEM L.S.U. THUGS STARTED HITTING BIG SHOTS AND WE DINT HAVE NO TY TY OR NO SAVIOR TO HELP US! TY TY GOT THE CRAMP CRAMPS AND THE SAVIOR GOT HIS JAW JACKED
Jibber Jabber
CATHLICKIN’ 🏀 The Beasman thinks Coach Cal lets Catholic opponents win to help him get to Heaven
🔥 @blakewesley0 really did that pic.twitter.com/OwNnq7GlWy— Notre Dame Basketball (@NDmbb) December 12, 2021 THE BEASMAN uk loses to catholics I HATE CATHLICKS. I HATE YOU. I HATE ST. X. I HATE THE POPE. I HATE ALL YOU SNAGGLE TOOTH U OF SMELL CARDINAL THUG FANS RUNNIN AROUND SMIRKIN ABOUT U UH KAY LOSIN TO THE NOTRE DAME! (cry) EVEN THEIR COACH IS MAKIN FUN OF U UH KAY! (cry) ERRBODY’S A-MAWKIN U UH KAY! (cry) WHAT IN THE SAM HILL IS GOIN ON WITH COACH CAL? IS HE PUTTIN HIS RELIGION AHEAD OF HIS KENTUCKY COACHIN JOB? DADGUMMIT…THAT’S A FIREABLE OFFENSE! (cry) HERE WE IS ON SAIRDEE, READY TO STOMP ON THEM UNRANKED, CATHLICK FISH BREATH, BEER GUZZLIN, BABY MAKIN,
“LOSERVILLE THUGS IS TOO BUSY LOOTIN STORES AND SHOOTIN EACH OTHER IN THE STREETS TO SHOW UP FOR FOOTBAW GAMES” – The Beasman predicts a UK dominant crowd for the Kentucky vs Louisville football game
THE BEASMAN hate week AWWWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! (long laff) IT’S HATE WEEK, CAT FANS, AND US GOOD AND CLASSY KENTUCKY WILDCAT FANS HATE ONE TEAM MORE THAN ANY OTHER TEAM…THEM STINKY, NECK TATTOO, DOPE SMOKIN, SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, STRIPPER POLE LOVIN, LYIN, CHEATIN, PLAYBOOK STEALING LOSERVILLE CARDINAL CONVICTS! (laffs) Ls DOWN! Ls DOWN! Ls DOWN! (laffs) THE WHOLE STATE HATES LOSERVILLE! WE HATE YOUR SCHOOL, YOUR CRIME, YOUR TRASH, AND YOUR MAMAS! (laffs) Y’ALLS CRIME INFESTED TOWN IS AN EMBARRASSMENT TO BLUEGRASS COUNTRY! GOVERNOR BESHEAR, A WILDCAT FAN, TRIED TO SELL Y’ALL TO INJIANNER! (laffs) INJIANNER SAID “NO THANKS. WE’D RATHER TAKE CHICAGO CUZ THEY GOT LESS KILLINGS!” (laffs) TO GIT RID OF MURDER CITY, JUST DIG THE
What’s this? An actual funny sketch from Saturday Night Live! 😲
The November 6, 2021 edition of Saturday Night Live had a wonderfully relatable sketch that did not take a political stance or insult middle Americans. They punched Spectrum Cable in the face with a wickedly funny sendup of the difficulty of trying to cancel cable. Enjoy. 📞🙄 BONUS SKETCH Here's the cold open for SNL that features a vaccine-resistant Aaron Rodgers and a brand new character playing Donald Trump. In previous years, Trump was played by actor Alec Baldwin, who is now spiraling in dismay after shooting and killing a co-worker on the set of his film RUST. A prop gun handed to Baldwin contained at least one live round, killing cinematographer Halyna Hutchins.
WE’LL DO IT LIVE! 😲 Lighten up, Francis!
I've seen it all during TV live shots. Sometimes people grab you or shout obscenities while you are either on the air or preparing to be. You just have to roll with it. Some people are completely unfazed by pandemonium. Absolutely elite focus and execution here by this reporter pic.twitter.com/ZsfM9KEXP1 — Barstool Sports (@barstoolsports) September 6, 2021 Others are not. After the first guy touched me I started rolling... this isn't even all of it. So uncomfortable. Can we please respect people's space pic.twitter.com/1r0VQVoBoq — Lyndsey Gough (@LGonTV) September 5, 2021 It's usually the social media know-it-alls who create a false narrative that gains steam. In this case, Notre Dame coach Brian Kelly tried to be funny in a postgame interview with Katie George but it fell
“I’ll hang up and listen to your answer!” 🎧🎙 Happy #NationalRadioDay
It was fun seeing all of my deejay buddies post their photos and career trajectories for #NationalRadioDay last week. Here are a few that I snatched from their social media pages. And then there's the program director's memo that kept 19-year-old me on the part-time payroll. NOTE: he used bad math. I was being paid $40 per MONTH, or $480 per year to do some radio promotion work on the University of Kentucky campus. Had they cut me, I would more than likely have found a different career path. 😢 Happy #NationalRadioDay 🎧 Here's the 1976 @WKQQLexington program director's memo that saved my job and kept me in the business. I had only been working there for two months when Dick Hungate suggested that
American hero Tamyra Mensah-Stock is completely hilarious!
The Beasman is stunned by the NBA draft aversion to choosing Wildcats
THE BEASMAN nba draft disaster IT’S ANOTHER DARK DAY IN WILDCAT COUNTRY, LARRY MINNER! (cry) WHAT KIND OF DRUGS IS THEM NBA COACHES SNIFFIN? I WAS SETTIN THERE LAST NIGHT BU-SPECTIN THE FIRST 3 PICKS TO BE THE U UH KAY KENTUCKY WILDCATS, RIGHT? Y’ALL BOUT TO PICK I-ZAYER JACKSON FIRST! THEN GONNA BE BRANDO BOSTON! NEXT COME OLIVIER SARR FROM U UH KAY! (cry) BUT NAWWWW! EVER TIME THAT BALD HAIRED, MEERKAT LOOKIN NBA COMMISH-NER WALKED UP TO THE PODIUM HE WOULD CALL OUT THE NAME OF A LOSER FROM SOME OTHER SCHOOL, NOT KENTUCKY! (cry) THEY TOOK GUYS FROM OKLAHOMO STATE, GONZAGGER, STANFORD, ALAMBAMMER, THE MEMPHIS Y.M.C.A. AND EVEN DADGUM TENNERSEE! THEY PICKED A DADGUM PUKE ARNGE TENNERSEE GUY
The best thing you’ll read today: The American Descent into Madness
"In Cuban-fashion, millions of judge-jury-executioner online snitches, with government encouragement, will help root out incorrect thoughts at light speed." Victor Hanson Davis The last two years have wrought a societal slump that could reduce the United States of America to ruins. McCarthyism is back. The woke embrace of Cuba's communists and rejection of American exceptionalism is astounding. Bonus stimulus checks without any effort from the recipients. Borders flooded with people demanding to be taken care of. A woke military that's more concerned with social justice than providing national security. Scant police coverage so that looting, assault, and destruction of property are barely noticed. Today's progressives read those words and ask, "So what?" What happened to America? This comprehensive piece from Victor Hanson Davis provides a
Media in a snit fit over LSU dropout’s market power
Meet Addison Rae Easterling. She's 20 years old and has millions of followers on social media. Journalists are jelly because Addison Rae joked about 3 months of college education landing her a prime sports reporting job. All the people complaining about this because they studied sports broadcasting for 30 years should simply try having 80+ million tiktok followers https://t.co/0Zj8UN3d3X — Brendan O'Keeffe (@BrendanKOKeeffe) July 10, 2021 She's funny, smart, strategic, and telegenic. Those are ingredients for success in many careers. Oh my, media peeps. Get over yourselves. This kid has a massive online following and that puts her in a much stronger negotiating position than Jenny Journalism School grad. But whine on if that makes you feel better. Edward R. Murrow ain't walking through that door