I plead guilty to being the “tall guy who only shoots 3s.”
Kentucky Wildcats basketball coach John Calipari speaks to the media following UK’s third loss in a season some expected to be flawless. North Carolina beat Kentucky 82-77 in the Wildcats’ first true road game.
Calipari said that UNC “deserved to win” and that his guys “need to get knocked in the teeth” in order to learn.
“Hopefully you’ll see progress,” Calipari wished out loud.
Although many fans thought that this magnificent #1 recruiting class would give UK a perfect “40 and oh” season, this loss to North Carolina on the heels of losses to Baylor and Michigan State have dampened spirits across the Commonwealth of Kentucky.
UK hosts archrival Louisville in two weeks. Suddenly, Cats fans are not as confident as they have been since Calipari assembled what many call “the greatest recruiting class ever.”
Meanwhile, the very popular radio sketch of UK fanatic The Beasman sets up like this:
BEASMAN coach cal is a spy For air Monday, Dec. 16, 2013
I CAIN’T HOLD IT IN NO LONGER. I’M SO SICK AN TARD OF MY WILDCATS LOSIN, I’M STARTIN TO THINK COACH CAL IS A DOUBLE NAUGHT SPY SENT HERE BY U OF SMELL TO SABBERTAGE THE GREAT KENTUCKY WILDCATS. DADGUMMIT, LARRY MINNER…DON’T YOU START SMIRKIN. I KNOW YOU AND SLICK RICK IS SMIRKIN RIGHT NOW BECAUSE THE MIGHTY KENTUCKY WILDCATS IS A-FLOUNDERIN. I TELL YOU WHAT…I AIN’T EVEN GOT THE STRENGTH TO SMACK TAWK NO MORE. WE WAS GONNA BE FARDY AND OH AND LOOK AT US NOW. WE GONNA BE LUCKY TO BE TWUNNY AND TWUNNY. SOME OF US GOOD CLASSY CAT FANS THINK COACH CAL MIGHT BE A SPY JUST LIKE BILLY CLYDE GILLESPER. ADMIT IT, LARRY. YOU AND SLICK RICK PLANTED COACH CAL HERE TO SECRETLY BLOW UP THE GREAT KENTUCKY TRADITION. I KNOW THEY WON IT ALL A FEW YEARS AGO BUT THAT WAS PROBLEE JUST TO THROW US OFF BY GITTIN OUR HOPES UP REAL HIGH THAT EVER SEASON WAS GONNA BE FARDY AND OH WITH U UH KAY DOMMERATIN LIKE THE HARLEM GLOBETROTTERS, JUST TOYING WITH THE OPPONENTS. BUT RIGHT AFTER THAT ONE FOOL’S GOLD CHAMPERCHIPS TO GIT US ALL TO PAY MORE FOR TICKETS AND SEAT LICENSES…WHAT HAPPENED? WE WENT STRAIGHT TO THE N.I.T. AND GOT BUGGERED BY LITTLE OL BOBBY MO. WE GOT PUNKED AND MOCKED AND RUN OUT OF NOBODYLAND BY LITTLE STINKIN’ BOBBY MO. WE SHOULDA FIRED COACH CAL THAT NIGHT FOR HUMILERATIN ALL THE GOOD CLASSY KENTUCKY FANS WHO HAD TO CRY THERSELFS TO SLEEP AND GIVE THEIR CHILDREN ADDERALL TO GIT THEIR MINDS OFF THE HORROR. BUT NAW, WE DINT FIRE COACH CAL…WE LET HIM START TAWKIN HIS FANCY EAST COAST TAWK AND WE PUT THE FISH HOOKS RIGHT BACK IN OUR WILDCAT MOUTHS. MATT JONES TODE US TO CALM DOWN AND TRUST IN COACH CAL, AND SINCE MATT JONES IS OUR MASTER, WE DONE WHAT WE WAS TODE. AND THEN COACH CAL STARTED ALL HIS BERNIE MADOFF CON MAN TAWKIN ABOUT “HEY Y’ALL, I GOT US ANOTHER BIG BLUE #1 RECRUTING CLASS AND WE’S GONNA GO FARDY AND OH.” AND SO WE HAD TO SET THROUGH WATCHING THEM LOSERVILLE CARDINAL DEMONS GO AND WIN IT ALL AFTER THEIR GUY KEVIN WARE BROKE HIS LEG AND BECAME AMERICA’S SWEETHEART. THAT WAS TOUGH TO SET THROUGH, COACH CAL, BUT ALL US GOOD CLASSY CAT FANS JUST KEPT SAYIN “HAVE YOUR FUN, LOSERVILLE, BECAUSE COACH CAL AND MATT JONES SAYS THE BEST TEAM EVER ASSEMBLED IS COMING TO LEXINUN.” AND WE BLEEVED ALL THEIR FAKE BIG BLUE LIES. “HERE COMES THE HARRISON TWINS. JAMES YOUNG. WE GOT BIG OL JULIUS RANDLE. MARCUS LEE. WILLIE CAULEY GOLDIBLOCKS IS BACK. AND JON HOOD IS MISTER KENTUCKY BASKETBAW. AINT NOBODY CAN STAY WITHIN 50 POINTS OF THESE HERE WILDCATS!” LOOK AT US NOW, LARRY MINNER. SICK, TIRED, THROWING UP IN BUCKETS, AND HALF-SKEERED WE’S GONNA LOSE TO OUR ARCH-ENEMAS WITH SLICK RICK DANCIN ALL OVER THE RUMP ARENER FLOOR. THIS HERE IS A CONSPIRACY, AINT IT? DID TOMMY TURTLENECK JURICH SECRETLY PAY OFF COACH CAL TO COME IN HERE AND RUIN KENTUCKY? THAT’S WHAT’S GOIN ON, AIN’T IT? DADGUMMIT, IF COACH CAL LOSES TO SLICK RICK RIGHT HERE ON THE RUMP ARENER FLOOR THEN WE ALL GONNA GO OVER AND THROW HIS FURNITURE ONTO A FLATBED AND LEAD HIM TO THE EDGE OF TOWN AND TELL HIM TO GO BACK TO MEMPHIS AND NEVER, EVER COME BACK HERE. THIS HERE IS SOME KIND OF SECRET PACT AMONG SLICK-HAIRED I-TALIAN CATHLICKS, AINT IT? WE IS DONE AT KENTUCKY HIRING COACHES WITH SLICK HAIR AND FANCY SUITS. DADGUMMIT, MITCH BARNHART, IF YOU AINT IN ON THE CONSPIRACY, GIT ON THE PHONE AND TELL TRAVIS FORD TO COME HOME TO KENTUCKY. IT’S TIME WE GIVE THE BIG BLUE PROGRUM BACK IN THE HANDS OF A KENTUCKIAN. ONCE I LEFT, THAT FERRENER EDDIE SUTTON DROVE U UH KAY IN A DITCH, AND WE BEEN POSSESSED EVER SINCE. COME HOME, TRAVIS FORD. MAKE US THE ARROGANT, CONDESCENDING, IN-YOUR-FACE, SMACK TAWKIN BIG BLUE NATION THAT WE USED TO BE BEFORE COACH CAL TURNS US INTO BOBBY MO’S PERMANENT BEE-OTCH. SAVE US, TRAVIS. SAVVVVVEEEEE USSSSSSSS!
>>>>>>>>>>After the University of Kentucky’s magnificent basketball team lost its first game of the season — a classic battle ending with a 4 point loss to Michigan State — the silly “Forty & Oh” chant was erased.
But now those shirts are being scooped up by UK’s opponents to mock the Big Blue.
Every time Coach John Calipari says to his loyal UK fan base, “You people are crazy!” I just point to Cal and blurt — “What he said!”
That aside, don’t be surprised if this Kentucky team goes 39-1 and collects a 9th NCAA Championship. They’re that good.