THE BEASMAN cats win in the rain AWWWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! STOOPS TROOPS IS MAKIN IT RAIN, DADGUMMIT! LET IT RAIN, LET IT RAIN, LET IT RAIN! (laffs) I LOVE ME SOME KENTUCKY WILDCATS PLAYIN IN THE RAIN! THESE CATS LOVVVVE THE WATER! (laffs) HOW BOUT OUR PUNTER! MAX RYAN DONE PULT A FAKE PUNT AND RUN DOWN THE FIELD LIKE HE STOLE SOMETHIN! (laffs) I LOVE IT! THE U UH KAY PUNTER IS BETTER THAN EVERY OTHER PLAYER IN AMERICA CEPT FOR LYNN BOWDEN JUNIOR, THE NEW SUPERSTAR U UH KAY QUARTERBACK! (laffs) DADGUMMIT, LBJ, YOU CAN LEAD OUR BLUE TROOPS INTO BATTLE ALL YOU WANT! (laffs) CAINT NOBODY STOP LYNN BOWDEN JUNIOR! HE RUNS, HE
Tag: college rivals
The Beasman ain’t skeered when the kids forget to call their Old Kentucky Home
GAMECOCKS. pic.twitter.com/RvnCpIxYud— Terry (@PhillyTeez30) September 29, 2019 THE BEASMAN cats losing streak GO CATS! GO BLUE! US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS AIN’T GIVE UP ON YOU YET! I MEAN, WE DONE LINED THE STREETS FOR FREE BASKETBAW PRACTICE TICKETS BUT THAT DON’T MEAN WE DON’T CARE ABOUT FOOTBAW. STOOPS TROOPS IS SECOND BANANA ONCE COACH CAL’S NEW TEAM STARTS PRACTICIN! GO BLUE! GO CATS! FARDY & OH! POOR OL LARRY MINNER! HIS TEAMS GOT CRUSHED THIS WEEKEND. THEM SAINT X HIGH SCHOOL BOYS DON’T BLONG ON THE SAME FIELD WITH THEM TRINITY MENS! YOUR SAINT X BOYS IS DIVISION 2 AND TRINITY IS LIKE A S.E.C. COLLEGE TEAM, LARRY! Y’ALL CROSS-EYED SAINT X
Cats fail to Kash but THE STREAK STARTS NOW
𝗔𝗜𝗥 𝗞𝗬𝗟𝗜𝗡 👀#HailState🐶 | @H_Kylin pic.twitter.com/5FguNeL4WY— Mississippi State Football (@HailStateFB) September 21, 2019 THE BEASMAN cats lose again I ALMOST WANNA VOMIT WHEN YOU ANSWER THE PHONE! U OF SMELL AIN’T NOTHIN BUT A BUNCH OF DEMONS! ALL Y’ALL SNAGGLE TOOTH, STINKBREATH CARDINAL FANS WAS A-SQAWKIN BOUT KASH DANIEL TWISTIN THAT FLORIDER GUY’S ANKLE BUT I SEEN SOME U OF SMELL THUG ON SAIRDEE TRYIN TO BREAK A LEG ON A FLORIDER STATE GUY. HOW COME Y’ALL AIN’T ALL HOT-HEADED ABOUT THAT, YOU BUNCH OF HIPPER-CRIT LOSERVILLE LOSERS! What a play by @dezfitz8! 😳#GoCards #MustSeeACC | @UofLFootball pic.twitter.com/nfQYJmE4E1— ACC Digital Network (@theACCDN) September 21, 2019 IT’S OK WHEN A U OF SMELLER TRIES TO BREAK A GUY’S LEG BUT
Look out, Cardinals…here come them there Notre Dame Cathlick beak busters
THE BEASMAN football is back I BET YOU’S JEALOUS OF COACH CAL PLAYIN GOLF WITH PRESSER-DENT BROCK PAJAMAS, AIN’T YOU, LARRY? COACH CAL HANGS OUT WITH ALL THE BIGTIME STARS LIKE BROCK PAJAMAS, LEE-BRON JAMES, JAY Z, THE DRAKE, AND THE OAK RIDGE BOYS. WHICH PRESIDENT DID YOU PLAY GOLF WITH, LARRY MINNER? THE PRESIDENT OF THE HAIR CLUB FOR MEN? (laffs) IT’S TIME FOR FOOTBAW, CARDINAL SISSIES! SAY YOUR PRAYERS, YOU FILTHY U OF SMELLERS, CUZ Y’ALL BOUT TO DIE! (laffs) I LOVE IT! THE CARDINAL CRIMINALS GOT TO WAIT ALL WEEKEND FOR THEIR EXER-CUTION AT THE HANDS OF THEM DRUNK IRISH PEDDER-FILE, FAKE RELIGION CATHLICK SINNERS. (laffs) Y’ALL DEE-SERVE EACH OTHER, YOU STRIPPER POLE, GRAMMAW PROSTER-TUTE LOVIN LOSERVILLE
Fredo Larry is too dumb to hang up on The Beasman
THE BEASMAN stripper money HELLO…IS THIS FREDO MINNER? (laffs) I WAS HOPIN YOU WOULD GIT ALL HUFFY AND START CUSSIN ME OUT LIKE THAT C.N.N. GUY WHO HATES BEIN CALLED FREDO. (laffs) FREDO! FREDO! FREDO! (laffs) HOW COME YOU AIN’T GITTIN MAD? MAYBE IT’S CUZ YOU IS SO DUMB LIKE FREDO THAT YOU DON’T KNOW YOU BEIN INSULTERCATED! (laffs) WELL…IF FREDO DON’T GIT YOU FIRED UP THEN I’LL JUST KEEP CALLIN YOU LARRY THE LOSER! (laffs) HOW DO YOU LOOK YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR KNOWIN THAT MATT JONES IS SUCH A BETTER DEEJAY THAN YOU? MATT JONES COME ON YOUR SHOW LAST WEEK AND FINE-LEE GIVE IT SOME BIGTIME RATINGS LIKE MATT JONES GITS EVER DAY! WE WANT MATT JONES
The Beasman got trickerated by JB Holmes’ doppelganger
What a moment. Soak it all in, @ShaneLowryGolf. #TheOpen pic.twitter.com/IRpjCQ20a8— Golf Channel (@GolfChannel) July 21, 2019 THE BEASMAN jb holmes sort of wins British Open WOOOOOO YEAH! GO CATS! GO BIG BLUE! DADGUMMIT, THAT’S WHAT I WAS SHOUTIN’ REAL LOUD WHEN THAT BEARDED, POTBELLY GOLFER FROM KENTUCKY J.B. HOLMES WON THE BRITISH OPEN! YEAH! GO CATS! KENTUCKY RULES THE WORLD! BLUE GITS IN! BLUE GITS IN! (sigh) BUT THEN MY BUDDY SAYS TO ME, HE SAYS “BEASMAN…THAT AIN’T J.B. HOLMES HOLDIN UP THAT TROPHY…THAT’S SOME DRUNK IRISHMAN NAME OF SHANE LOWRY." DADGUMMIT, I RUBBED MY EYES TWO OR THREE TIMES AND JUST THROWED THE TV REMOTE AT THE FIREPLACE. EVERBODY ALL WEEKEND KEPT SAYIN “JB
The Beasman always bring the Summer Slam
THE BEASMAN laker cats YOU ARE A POOR EXCUSE FOR A MAN, LARRY MINNER. I AXEY-DENT-LEE TURNT ON YOUR STOOPID RADIO SHOW AND ALL YOU’S TAWKIN ABOUT IS SWIMMIN WITH DOLPHINS, BREAKDANCING, EATIN AT A PINK RESTRUNT, AND SOME 15-YEAR-OLD TENNIS GIRL NAME OF COCO. WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU? A REAL MAN GOES SWIMMIN WITH SHARKS, LINE DANCES, AND THE ONLY 15-YEAR-OLD HE CARES ABOUT IS A BOTTLE OF SCOTCH! (laffs) TURN IN YOUR MAN CARD, YOU PENCIL NECK, PINHEAD! (laffs) WHERE YOU BEEN, YOU BALD HAIRED FRAUD? IS YOU AND SLICK RICK SPENDING THE SUMMER UP ON BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN AGAIN? (laffs) “I DON’T KNOW HOW TO QUIT YOU, SLICK!” (laffs) I CAINT BLEEVE WH&S DINT HAVE SENATOR MATT
The Beasman bout to Nuh-Wore-uh y’all Cards fans out
THE BEASMAN who’s coming back? HEY LARRY! LARRY MINNER! IT’S THAT STUPID TIME OF YEAR WHEN PEOPLE START PRE-DICTIFYING NEXT YEAR’S BASKETBAW TEAMS WITH SCIENTIFIC POs. THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS IS LOADED FOR NEXT YEAR SO Y’ALL U OF SMELL LITTLE BROTHER NOBODIES AIN’T GOTTA PRAYER OF WHOOPIN US! (laffs) I LOVE IT! EVER YEAR, U OF SMELL IDIOTS START TAWKIN ABOUT “WAIT TIL YOU SEE NEXT YEAR’S CARDINAL BIRDS TEAM!” (laffs) AND THEN U UH KAY SMASHES YOUR FACE IN AGAIN AND Y’ALL SNAGGLE TOOTH, NECK TATTOO, SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, GRAFITTI PAINTIN, WHISKEY FOR BREAKFAST CARDINAL FOOLS START CRYIN ABOUT “WAIT TIL NEXT YEAR!” (laffs) BUT THE TRUTH IS COACH CAL GOT U OF SMELL’S NUMBER.
The Beasman ain’t too pleased about Big Blue Nation outside looking in at the Final Four
THE BEASMAN natl championship night SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE ABOUT THE NATIONAL CHAMPERCHIPS GAME, YOU BALD HAIRED, TRAITOR TURNCOAT, BACKSTABBING U OF SMELL SUCKUP! ALL US GOOD AND CLASSY KENTUCKY WILDCAT FANS AIN’T IN NO MOOD FOR JOSHIN, DADGUMMIT. THIS WAS POSED TO BE OUR NIGHT WITH ERRBODY SCREAMIN GO BIG BLUE AND TELLIN ALL THE OTHER SCHOOLS THAT THEY SUCK. IT FEELS LIKE THE GRINCH DONE STOLE OUR BLUE CHRISTMAS AGAIN, LARRY MINNER. “COACH CAL FOR LIFE” BETTER GIT US A WILDCAT CHAMPERCHIPS NEXT YEAR OR ELSE HIS LIFETIME DEAL IS GONNA END. A LIFETIME CONTRACT IS ONLY GOOD AS LONG AS YOU’S ALIVE, DADGUMMIT! YOU HEAR ME, COACH CAL? DON’T HUMILERATE BIG BLUE NATION
Kentucky can mow down a row of daffodils on the way to the Final Four
THE BEASMAN march madness (1) HEY LARREEEEEE…LARRY THE LOSER DONE TODE HIS BALD BUDDY CHRIS MACK TO NOT BOTHER PACKIN NO OVERNIGHT BAG. THE NC2A FOUNT ANOTHER PITINO TO WRECK YOUR PROGRUM. U OF SMELL FIRED HIS DADDY AND SLICK RICK IS SUIN U OF SMELL FOR FARDY MILLION DOLLARS. I BETCHA RICHARD PITINO GONNA HAVE ANDRE MCGEE SETTIN ON HIS BENCH ALONG WITH THREE F.B.I. AGENTS REFEREEING THE GAME. (laffs) Y’ALL AIN’T GOT A PRAYER, YOU BUNCH OF SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, DUKE COLLAPSIN FOOLS. (laffs) MEANTIME, AMERICA’S TEAM, THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS GONNA ROLL RIGHT THROUGH THAT WEAK SAUCE BRACKET LIKE THE BULLS IN PIMP-PLANNO. U UH KAY’S BRACKET IS LIKE THAT LOSERVILLE SINKHOLE…ALL