Howell Dawdy, the most revered singer in the world, finally got around to celebrating his hometown. His new song LOUISVILLE will be #1 when next week’s streaming charts are released.
Reviews are in:
Cardi B: “That’s dope!”
Jay Z said of Dawdy: “Who?”
Eminem and Machine Gun Kelly have ended their beef and are now joined together in dissing Howell, calling him a “fake ass Kanye wannabe.”
Nonetheless, Howell Dawdy trudges forward. Mayor Fishback named Dawdy “Citizen of the Century” and Humana removed its Ali building banner and replaced it with a classic photo of Dawdy sitting on the toilet.
Commuters are stopping on the interstate to take photos. The traffic backups rival those of populations escaping hurricane mayhem.
God bless you for promoting The Ville, Howell. But if you step foot in my precious St. Matthews, we will run you down with our hybrid lawnmowers or jacked up Bird scooters.
St. Matthews houses all of Louisville’s wealth, think tanks, leadership, and overpriced fabric stores. And the 4-0-2-0-7 is home to the prettiest people in the metro area. Just look at my profile pic. Sizzzzzzle! You mad bro?
You take that back what you said about us or there will be no holding back the St. Matthews police department. Both of our Barneys are asleep right now, but when they get woke, you’ve got a WORLD of hurt coming your way, Mr. Smart Mouth.