radio scripts for Monday, November 28, 2016 THE BEASMAN #1 it’s over OH BOO HOO HOOOOO! KEEP CRYIN’ YOUR CARDINAL TEARS…THEY’RE DELICIOUS! (laffs) AWWWWW C-A-T-S! CATS! CATS! CATS! KEEP BURNIN THEM COUCHES, CAT FANS! THIS HERE IS BIGGER ‘EN CHRISTMAS! U UH KAY DONE SLAYED THE EVIL CARDINAL DEMONS! STEPHEN JOHNSON FOR HEISMAN! MARK STOOPS FOR S.E.C. COACH OF THE YEAR! U UH KAY WILDCATS FOR THE PLAYOFFS! BOOM WILLIAMS FOR PLAYER OF THE YEAR! AWWWW BLUE! WHITE! BLUE! WHITE! CATS! CATS! CATS! (laffs) IT’S FINALLY OVER FOR YOU LOWDOWN, SAGGY PANTS, BACKWARDS CAP, RAP MUSIC, NECK TATTOO, GANG BANG, U OF SMELL CARDINAL POSERS. YOU DONE BEEN EXPOSED BY THE GOOD AND CLASSY KENTUCKY WILDCATS! AIN’T NO
Tag: smack talk
High holy season returns to Kentucky
The joy quotient in the Commonwealth of Kentucky shoots through the ceiling every November when basketball season begins. It's a religion in the state. Other states celebrate Rhodes scholars changing the world. We celebrate sweaty teenagers who can dunk a ball or sprint with a pigskin. That's just who we are. >>>>>>>>>RADIO SCRIPT>>>>>>>>> THE BEASMAN tipoff luncheon air date 10-28-16 WELL, THERE’S YOUR GAY BOYFRIEND SLICK RICK OUT THERE TO THE TIPOFF LUNCHEON TELLING HIS LIES AGAIN. “OHHH. U OF SMELL FANS IS GONNA BE HAPPY AGAIN CUZ WE GONNA GO OUT THERE AND WIN ANOTHER BANNER.” THAT’S A BUNCH OF HORSE PUCKEY. WHAT KIND OF BANNER IS THAT I-TALIAN MAFIA MAN TAWIN BOUT…A MEMORIAL BANNER FOR
Clemson clamps Cards
The Clemson Tigers snapped the perfect season for the Louisville Cardinals during a fierce finish where UofL was positioned to win. With less than :30 remaining, UofL receiver James Quick came up one yard short of a first down near the goal line. Clemson took a knee to run out the clock and remain undefeated, moving to 5-0. Louisville falls to 4-1 and trails Clemson in the A.C.C. You know the Beasman is loving every minute of Louisville's hiccup. THE BEASMAN loserville loses to Clemson (laffs hysterically) I LOVVVVVVVVVE IT! THANK YOU, CLEMSON! ALL US GOOD & CLASSY WILDCAT FANS LOVE US SOME CLEMSON TIGERS FOR PUTTING A STOP TO U OF SMELL’S PERFECT SEASON.
Coach Cal and Rick Pitino: crying on the yachts
With perpetual local interest in basketball, media outlets have found an off season storyline. The head basketball coaches at UK and U of L are in a war of words. Last week, Kentucky's John Calipari launched a not-very-subtle slam at Louisville's Rick Pitino, saying that coaches know about scandalous behavior when it happens on campus. Louisville is stewing in a sex scandal related to prostitutes brought into its basketball dorm. The NCAA is expected to make its final ruling soon. Calipari's notorious vacated Final Fours at UMass and Memphis were rooted in off-campus misdeeds by players. After Calipari's radio rant last week with Mike Lupica, Pitino returned fire this week on my radio show. AUDIO: Pitino also commented on Governor Matt Bevin's dismissal
Hoosier doozy
The Indiana Hoosiers beat the Kentucky Wildcats 73-67 in the second round of the NCAA Tournament, a very rare early departure for UK. Kentucky coach John Calipari was gracious in defeat, telling Indiana coach Tom Crean "I'm happy for you." Crean has been pilloried by IU fans in recent years for what they consider slow progress. 2015 gave us Crying Piccolo GirlNow, 2016 gives us...Crying Saxophone Girl. pic.twitter.com/f6x9ZRBOlp— CBS Sports (@CBSSports) March 19, 2016 A member of the UK band is the early frontrunner for Meme Queen of the Tournament The Crying Jordan meme was quickly pressed into service... ...generating bitterness from some sensitive UK fans. Louisville fans are reveling in schadenfreude, or enjoying the misery of others. Kentucky fans have
Nothing could be finer than beating Carolina in prime time
THE BEASMAN north carolina is in town (WHAS Radio segment, runs 4:45 PM, February 1, 2016) >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>LARRY…WHAT IS Y’ALL SAGGY PANTS, NECK TATTOO, WELFARE CHECK, GOLD TOOTH, STRIPPER POLE, TARC BUS RIDIN, OBAMA PHONE, PROSTITUTE HIRIN U OF SMELL FRAUDS GONNA DO TONIGHT AGAINST NARTH CARAMALINER? YOU KNOW YOU GONNA GIT CRUSHED LIKE A BUG SO WHY DON’T SLICK RICK THROW IN THE TOWEL RIGHT NOW? HE SAID THE BIG MAN WAS REAL SICK THE OTHER DAY WHEN NOBODY VIRGINNY THROWED Y’ALL AROUND LIKE A PIT BULL CHEWIN A RAG DOLL. --------------------WHAT IN THE SAM HILL YOU THINK ROY WILLIAMS AND THE TURD HEELS GONNA DO TO Y’ALL TONIGHT? IT’LL PROBLEE BE A HUNDERD TO NOTHIN
The Beasman is back on his payphone, savoring UofL’s scandals
THE BEASMAN rofl scandals 12/11/15 HEY LARRY! LARRY MINNER! WHAT KIND OF SCANDAL IS U OF SMELL DENYING TODAY? (laffs) “HEY DON’T WORRY ALL YOU PEOPLE WHO GIVE MONEY TO U OF SMELL….THE FBI INVESTERGATES ALL SCHOOLS…NOTHING TO SEE HERE…KEEP SENDING IN YOUR CHECKS.” YOU BUNCH OF SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, IDIOT U OF SMELL FANS IS REAPING WHAT YOU SOW WHEN YOU HIRE SCALAWAGS LIKE SLICK RICK, TOMMY TURTLENECK, AND BOBBY PETRINO. THEY IS PAYIN THEIRSELFS MILLIONS WITH YOUR DONATIONS AND THEN HIRING CRIMINALS FOR STEALING MORE MONEY OR BUYING PROSTERTUTES OR HAVING AFFAIRS WITH SOME SKANK. U OF SMELL IS A SOAP OPRY, CALL IT “ALL MY SCANDALS,” AND Y’ALL COULD
The Beasman is ready for some footbaw
THE BEASMAN football is here HELLO, IDIOT. IS YOU STILL TURNIN CARTWHEELS OVER THE GOOD CHURCH LADY GOIN TO JAIL? HOW DARE THEM SUPREME COURT GAY LOVERS PUT A GOOD CHRISTIAN WOMAN BEHIND BARS JUST FOR BEIN A CATS FAN. YOU KNOW SHE’S BLUE, LARRY, CUZ SHE GOT MORALS AND SHE AINT GOT NO TATTOOS LIKE U OF SMELL THUGS DO. AND IF SHE’S IN A CELL, THAT TAKES UP A SPACE WHERE A U OF SMELL CRIMINAL OUGHT TO BE LOCKED UP. US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS DON’T LIKE US NO GAY BOYS. MEMBER WHEN WE USED TO SHOUT “MATT WALSH IS GAY” OVER AND OVER IN RUPP ARENER? CAT FANS IS GOD FEARIN
How sweet it is again
The Kentucky Wildcats and Louisville Cardinals have both reached the Sweet 16 in the NCAA Tournament. Louisville once again is the highest-rated American TV market for game watching. Final Four Fever is throttling up again as dominating Kentucky is expected to sweep right through for the Wildcats' 9th national championship. BONUS VIDEO: The NCAA posted a profile of Montrezl Harrell re: Louisville's storied history with The Dunk The Beasman radio script for March 23, 2015 FARDY & OH WITH 4 TO GO! FARDY & OH WITH 4 TO GO! FARDY & OH WITH 4 TO GO! CATS! CATS! CATS! YOU KNOW ALL THEM OTHER TEAMS ABOUT TO POOTY THEIR PANTS WORRIED ABOUT HAVING TO PLAY
A surprising win brings The Beasman gamecockiness
THE BEASMAN 10/6/14 YOU AND ALL YOUR SNAGGLE TOOTH CARDINAL CONVICT FRIENDS GOT TO BE SICK TO YOUR STOMACH WORRIED ABOUT WHAT U UH KAY FOOTBAW GONNA DO TO YOU NEXT MONTH. Y’ALL CAINT FARFIT NOW, LOSERVILLE, YOU GOTTA PLAY THE CATS AND TAKE YOUR LUMPIN’. NOW GIT ON THE RADIO AND TAWK UP U UH KAY FOOTBAW, YOU BALD HAIRED TRAITOR TURNCOAT. THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS DONE GONE ON A S.E.C. WINNIN STREAK AND YOU AINT HARDLY TAWKED ABOUT IT TODAY. OH, BUT YOU GOT TIME TO TAWK ABOUT THROWING A BAW 40 YARDS TO YOUR DAUGHTER. I BET YOUR WIFE THROWED THAT BAW BECAUSE A PENCIL NECK GEEK SISSY SLICK RICK BOYFRIEND NANCY BOY