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UofL hits the skids and The Beasman ain’t too blue about it

THE BEASMAN cathlick magic
POOR, POOR CARDINAL BIRDS. DONE LOST ‘EM THREE IN A ROW AND AIN’T NO RELIEF IN SIGHT. MARCH SADNESS STARTS TOMORROW IN YOUR GHETTO TOWN WHILE THE REST OF BIG BLUE NATION GITS READY TO WIN ANOTHER CHAMPERCHIPS! GO BIG BLUE! GO BIG BLUE! GO BIG BLUE! BUT OL U OF SMELL CAINT EVEN BEAT NOBODY BOSTON BAKED BEAN COLLEGE. (laffs)

TOO BAD, SO SAD! (laffs) YOU KNOW LARRY, I’D LIKE TO SAY ALL US GOOD AND CLASSY KENTUCKY WILDCATS FANS IS FEELIN PITY FOR YOU LITTLE BROTHER NOBODIES BUT I DON’T WANNA LIE RIGHT HERE ON THE LECTRIC RADIO. (laffs) Y’ALL U OF SMELL FAILURES NEED TO DO LIKE DONALD TRUMP AND JUST WALK AWAY! TRUMP DONE THAT WITH THAT LITTLE KOREA GANGSTER KIM JONG KIM KIM AND THAT’S WHAT BALDY SEWER MOUTH CHRIS MACK GOTTA DO. JUST PULL THE CURTAINS AND DISMANTLE THE U OF SMELL FAILURE BASKETBAW PROGRUM. IT’S OVER, LARRY. (laffs)

EVER SINCE TOMMY TURTLENECK CHASED MY BUDDY DENNY CRUMMY OUTTA THERE AND RE-PLACED HIM WITH THAT SLICK HAIRED I-TALIAN CHEATER NAME OF SLICK RICK, Y’ALL BEEN A LAUGHIN STOCK. (laffs) SLICK GOT Y’ALL A FAKE NEWS CHAMPERCHIP BUT THE NC2A WISED UP AND YANKED DOWN THE FAKE U OF SMELL BANNER SO DENNY CRUMMY IS STILL THE ONLY NATIONAL CHAMPEEN COACH IN YOUR GHETTO TOWN. (laffs) MEANTIME, THE #1 SEED KENTUCKY WILDCATS IS GONNA GO DOWN TO TENNERSEE AND POP A KNOT ON THEIR STUPID ROCK TOP FOREHEADS ONE MORE TIME! (laffs)

Keldon Johnson. He is good.

WE GONNA SINK THE ADMIRAL’S BATTLESHIP JUST LIKE WE DONE TWO WEEKS AGO! COACH CAL – HE GOES TO MASS EVER DAY – WE DONE TODE COACH CAL WHEN HE GOES TO MASS THIS WEEK HE NEEDS TO SAY A LOT OF THEM FAKE CATHLICK PRAYERS TO TELL THE CATHLICK FAKE GOD TO MAKE SURE THE NOTRE DAME HUMILERATES U OF SMELL ON SENIOR DAY! (laffs) I LOVE IT! BALDY MACK IS A CATHLICK BUT HE AIN’T GOT NO CATHLICK MAGIC LIKE COACH CAL CUZ BALDY MACK DON’T GO TO MASS EVER DAY.

BALDY MACK JUST GOES IN THEM GHETTO STREETS TO LEARN HIM MORE OF THEM NASTY CUSS WORDS TO YELL ON NATIONAL TV. THAT’S SOME REAL CLASS Y’ALL GOT GOIN ON, LARRY MINNER! COACH CAL GONNA PRAY EXTRA HARD FOR TOUCHDOWN JESUS TO HELP THEM CATHLICK FISH EATIN, BINGO PLAYIN, BEER DRINKIN, GENUFLECTIN, GOIN TO CONFESSION INSTEAD OF TAKIN RESPONSIBILITY FOR SINNIN NOTRE DAME IRISH BAR FIGHTIN WHISKEY BREATH HEATHENS PUT ONE LAST A.C.C. BEATDOWN ON NOBODY U OF SMELL.

THEN FINALLY SOMEBODY GONNA WAKE UP AND SEND THEM PHONEY BALONEY CARDINAL BIRDS TO THE N.I.T. WHERE Y’ALL BLONG EVER YEAR! (laffs) OVER-RATED! OVER-RATED! OVER-RATED! GOOOOOO BIG BLUE! THE WILDCATS IS RATED A #1 SEED IN THE BIG DANCE WHERE U OF SMELL GONNA GIT LEFT OUT AGAIN.

COME ON, YOU CATHLICK HEATHENS. DRINK LOTS OF THAT HOLY WATER SO YOUR FAKE CATHLICK GOD WILL GIVE Y’ALL NOTRE DAME FISH BREATH BREEDERS THE FIGHTIN IRISH SPIRIT YOU NEED TO STOMP ON THEM FLUNKY CRIMINAL CARDINALS. GO AHEAD AND DRINK YOUR IRISH WHISKEY DURING THE GAME TOO CUZ LOSERVILLE AINT GOT NO MORALS.

Mike, Terry, Lisa, and Lynn Meiners (November 2018)

EVERBODY IN THAT GHETTO TOWN IS HIGH ON LIQUOR OR METH OR SNIFFIN THE MARIJUANA. (laffs) BUNCH OF DOPEHEAD LOSERS! BE CLASSY LIKE THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS, YOU CARDINAL FLUNKIES! AWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS!

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