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CATHLICKIN’ šŸ€ The Beasman thinks Coach Cal lets Catholic opponents win to help him get to Heaven

THE BEASMAN uk loses to catholics
I HATE CATHLICKS. I HATE YOU. I HATE ST. X. I HATE THE POPE. I HATE ALL YOU SNAGGLE TOOTH U OF SMELL CARDINAL THUG FANS RUNNIN AROUND SMIRKIN ABOUT U UH KAY LOSIN TO THE NOTRE DAME! (cry) EVEN THEIR COACH IS MAKIN FUN OF U UH KAY! (cry) ERRBODYā€™S A-MAWKIN U UH KAY! (cry) WHAT IN THE SAM HILL IS GOIN ON WITH COACH CAL?

IS HE PUTTIN HIS RELIGION AHEAD OF HIS KENTUCKY COACHIN JOB? DADGUMMITā€¦THATā€™S A FIREABLE OFFENSE! (cry) HERE WE IS ON SAIRDEE, READY TO STOMP ON THEM UNRANKED, CATHLICK FISH BREATH, BEER GUZZLIN, BABY MAKIN, ROSARY BEAD RUBBIN, GENUFLECTIN, HOLY WATER THROWIN, BINGO PLAYIN NOTRE DAME IRISH DRUNKS! BUT NAWWWWā€¦ COACH CAL AINā€˜T GOT SENSE ENOUGH TO CALL A TIME OUT AND SET UP A PLAY FOR OSCAR! (cry) TY TY CAINT SHOOT SHOOT SO HE THROWS UP A DUMB SHOT! (cry) NOTRE DAME GRABS THE REBOUND AND SLAMS HOME A DUNK AT THE BUZZER JUST TO MAWK OUR PRECIOUS KENTUCKY WILDCATS! (cry)

THEN THEM UGLY GREEN TEETH HOMELY CATHLICK FRAUD FANS STARM THE FLOOR AND PUT OUR WILDCATS IN DANGER JUST LIKE INJIANNER DONE A FEW YEARS AGO! THATā€™S WHY THE CATS AINā€™T NEVER GONNA PLAY THEM HOOSIERS NEVER AGAIN, AND WHY WE SHOULDNā€™T NEVER PLAY CATHLICKS AGAIN. ANY OF ā€˜EM. JARGETOWN, VILLER-NOVA, ST JOHNā€™Sā€¦DONā€™T NEVER PLAY NONE OF THEM CUZ THEY GOT A FRAUD RELIGION AND I THINK COACH CAL LETS THEM CATHLICK HEATHENS WIN CUZ HE THINKS ITā€™LL GIT HIM IN HEAVEN! (cry)

HOW COME OUR KENTUCKY WILDCATS AINā€™T GOOD NO MORE? COACH CAL BU-SPOSUBLY GITS TOP RE-CRUITS BUT WHEN THEY GIT HERE THEY CAINT SHOOT! TY TY SUCKS SUCKS. THAT GUY SAVIOR WHEELER IS A BRICKLAYER! HE TOOK ABOUT A THOUSAND SHOTS AND DINT MAKE NONE OF ā€˜EM. DONā€™T THIS GUY KNOW HEā€™S ALLOWED TO PASS THE BAW? (cry) KEION CAINT SHOOT. MINTZ CAINT SHOOT. THAT 37-YEAR-OLD TRANSFER PORTAL GUY CAINT SHOOT. THEY ALL SUCK, LARRY MINNER.

OSCAR CAINT DO IT ALL HISSELF! AND WE CAINT GIT RID OF COACH CAL CUZ HE GOTTA LIFETIME CONTRACT! (cry) THEY ALL SAY THAT U UH KAY PLAYS TOO MANY CUPCAKE GAMES AT THE BEGINNING OF THE SEASON AND THEN GITS SMACKED DOWN WHEN REAL TEAMS SHOW UP. DUKE? KA-POW! NOTRE DAME? KA-POW! NOW WE GOT TO GO TO LAS VEGAS AND LET O-HI-ER STATE HUMILLERFY US! (cry) IF U UH KAY LOSES TO LOSERVILLE NEXT WEEK THEN US CAT FANS GONNA BURN DOWN COACH CALā€™S FANCY MANSION! (cry)

THE U OF SMELL GIRLS DONE WHOOPED THE U UH KAY GIRLS CUZ RONNIE HOWARD CAINT SHOOT. THE U OF SMELL BOLLYBAW GIRLS IS #1 AND GOIN TO THE FINAL FOUR WHILE U UH KAY ALREADY GOT KNOCKED OUT! (cry) THESE IS BAD TIMES BUCEPT FOR STOOPS TROOPS, LARRY. (cry) JUST WHEN ALL US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS WAS A-LAFFIN ABOUT U OF SMELL LOSIN TO NOBODY DEE-PAW, THEN COACH CAL DROPS A DOOKIE IN THE PUNCH BO AGAINST NOTRE DAGGUM DAME. OUR PO NUMBER IS WORSE THAN JOE BIDENā€™S. (cry) COME ON, SANTY CLAUS. BRANG CHRIMMUS EARLY! INSTEAD OF PRESENTS, CAN YOU GIT SOMEBODY TO TEACH OUR WILDCAT PLAYERS HOW TO SHOOT THE BAW? (sing) ALL WE WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS TO MAKE-ONE-SHOT, MAKE-ONE-SHOT, MAKE-ONE-SHOT! ALL WE WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS TO MAKE-ONE-SHOT, THEN CAT FANS CAN WISH YOU MERRY CHRISTMAS! (cry) WORST. CHRISTMAS. EVER.

terrymeiners
dad. husband. observer. media personality. pathological flyer.
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