THE BEASMAN hate week
AWWWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! (long laff) IT’S HATE WEEK, CAT FANS, AND US GOOD AND CLASSY KENTUCKY WILDCAT FANS HATE ONE TEAM MORE THAN ANY OTHER TEAM…THEM STINKY, NECK TATTOO, DOPE SMOKIN, SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, STRIPPER POLE LOVIN, LYIN, CHEATIN, PLAYBOOK STEALING LOSERVILLE CARDINAL CONVICTS! (laffs) Ls DOWN! Ls DOWN! Ls DOWN! (laffs)

THE WHOLE STATE HATES LOSERVILLE! WE HATE YOUR SCHOOL, YOUR CRIME, YOUR TRASH, AND YOUR MAMAS! (laffs) Y’ALLS CRIME INFESTED TOWN IS AN EMBARRASSMENT TO BLUEGRASS COUNTRY! GOVERNOR BESHEAR, A WILDCAT FAN, TRIED TO SELL Y’ALL TO INJIANNER! (laffs) INJIANNER SAID “NO THANKS. WE’D RATHER TAKE CHICAGO CUZ THEY GOT LESS KILLINGS!” (laffs)

TO GIT RID OF MURDER CITY, JUST DIG THE O-HI-ER RIVER DOWN BELOW LOSERVILLE AND WE CAN CUT YOU AWAY LIKE CANCER! (laffs) BUT FOR NOW, WE JUST GOT TO BE SATTER-FIED WITH BEE-OTCH SLAPPIN YOUR NASTY YELLER BEAK CARDINAL FOOTBAW TEAM AGAIN! (laffs) WE COMIN FOR YOU, U OF SMELL! BLUE GITS IN! BLUE GITS IN! (laffs)

THAT MOLDY STADIUM GONNA BE JAMMED TO THE GILLS WITH BIG BLUE KENTUCKY WILDCAT FANS IN EVER SEAT! Y’ALL LOSERVILLE THUGS IS TOO BUSY LOOTIN STORES AND SHOOTIN EACH OTHER IN THE STREETS TO SHOW UP FOR FOOTBAW GAMES. (laffs) DON’T WORRY…CAT FANS WILL USE YOUR TICKETS SO YOU’LL HAVE ONE SELLOUT THIS SEASON! (laffs) AND DON’T YOU LOSERVILLE THUGS THINK YOU GONNA INTIMMERFY THE CATS!

THE U UH KAY TEAM BUS JUST GOT BULLETPROOOF WINDERS INSTALLED AND THE NATIONAL GUARD IS GONNA EX-CORT US RIGHT INTO THE STADIUM! THE U UH KAY TEAM BUS DRIVER DONE BEEN GIVEN STRICT ORDERS TO RUN OVER ANY U OF SMELL FANS WHO TRY TO BLOCK OUR PATH! JUST SMASH ‘EM LIKE A MONSTER TRUCK SHOW! (laffs)

AND ONCE STOOPS TROOPS GIT OFF THE BUS, WE GONNA GO RIGHT OUT THERE AND STOMP ON THAT UGLY CARDINAL BIRD AND POOTY ON U OF SMELL’S TEAM BENCH! (laffs) THEN THE NATIONAL GUARD GONNA STAY ON KENTUCKY’S SIDE OF THE FIELD SO THEY CAN PROTECT ALL THE WILDCAT PLAYERS’ N.I.L. ENDORSEMENT MONEY! (laffs) OUR PLAYERS’ WALLETS IS FATTER THAN COACH STOOPS! (laffs)

DON’T YOU THUG U OF SMELL FANS THINK YOU GONNA COME DOWN TO THE U UH KAY SIDELINE AND STEAL BIG BLUE PLAYER WALLETS OR BLING BLING CUZ THE NATIONAL GUARD AIN’T AFRAID TO SHOOT FIRST AND AST QUESTIONS LATER! (laffs)

BUT ANY CARDINAL FANS WON’T BE THERE FOR LONG CUZ WILL LEVIS, CHRIS ROD-DREEGO AND WAN-TON ROBERSON GONNA SCORE ABOUT A HUNDERD POINTS IN THE FIRST QUARTER! (laffs)

I BETCHA THE U UH KAY SECOND AND THIRD STRINGERS IS ALL PLAYIN BEFORE HALFTIME CUZ IT’LL BE SUCH A BLOWOUT! (laffs) Y’ALL BETTER ENJOY THANKSGIVIN, LOSERVILLE, CUZ IT’S LIKE A DEATH ROW INMATE’S LAST MEAL! EAT YA SOME EXTRA STUFFIN AND CRAMBERRY PIE, YOU STUPID CRIMINALS! YOU AIN’T GONNA WANNA GO ON LIVIN AFTER STOOPS TROOPS STEAL YOUR BOWL DREAMS, YOUR GIRLFRIENDS, AND YOUR NFL DREAMS! AIN’T NO PRO TEAM WANTS A LOSERVILLE FLUNKIE WHEN THEY CAN DRAFT CHAMPION WILDCAT SUPERSTARS! (laffs)

CATS BY 90 POINTS! WE GONNA CRUSH YOUR STINKBREATH CARDINAL PROGRUM, GIT BACK ON THE TEAM BUS, GO OVER THE U OF SMELL CAMPUS AND LET OUR PLAYERS PUNCH SOME MORE SORORITY GIRLS IN THE FACE! (laffs) THE JUDGE SAYS “NOT GUILTY!” (laffs) THAT’S JUST HOW WE ROLL IN WILDCAT COUNTRY! AWWWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! WE SO SURE WE GONNA WIN THAT WE AIN’T EVEN BRINGIN THE TROPHY FROM LEXINUN!

THE ONLY WAY Y’ALL WOULD EVER GIT YOUR HANDS ON IT IS IF IT WAS LOOTED FROM ONE OF YOUR BOARDED UP DOWNTOWN STORES! (laffs) YOU SUCK, YOU BUNCH OF CROSS-EYED, SPINELESS, BRAINLESS, DRIVE BY SHOOTIN, LIQUOR FOR BREAKFAST, ILLITERATE, UNWED MOTHER MAKIN, STORE SMASHIN, FOOD STAMP CASHIN’ LOSERVILLE THUGS! (laffs) ALL CATS, ALL DAY LONG! HATE WEEK IS A GREAT WEEK! U UH KAY HATES U OF SMELL AND SO DOES THE REST OF AMERICA! (laffs)

AWWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! IT’S JUST TOO EASY…DOES BELLARMINE PLAY FOOTBAW? THEY’D BE TOUGHER THAN THE VILLE, EVEN IF IT WAS THE BELLARMINE GIRLS! OH…IS THAT SEXIST? GO CRY YOUR WOKE TEARS, LARRY! CARDINAL TEARS IS DELICIOUS! (laffs) TELL YOUR WHINY COACH TO GET READY FOR 50,000 Ls DOWN COMIN FROM ALL THE U UH KAY FANS IN HIS LOSERVILLE STANDS! (laffs) Ls DOWN! Ls DOWN! Ls DOWN!