THE BEASMAN cat fan uprising I KNOW THERE’S A LOT OF CRABBY CAT FANS RIGHT NOW BUT TELL ‘EM TO PUT COACH CAL’S FURNITURE BACK IN HIS HOUSE! COACH CAL DON’T GOTTA LEAVE LEXINUN AFTER ALL CUZ U UH KAY IS WINNIN AGAIN! AWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! DONTRAY ALLEN IS SHOOTIN THE LIGHTS OUT AND WE GOT KREON BROOKS PLAYIN AGAIN! BIG BLUE NATION OUGHT TO BE HAPPY BUT HALF OUR GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS SAY THEY AIN’T FANS NO MORE! Laurel County Sheriff and Jailer burn their UK shirts in protest of UK kneeling last game pic.twitter.com/fyy71mnSJZ — Matt Jones (@KySportsRadio) January 11, 2021 LARRY, WHY CAINT YOU TAWK ABOUT KENTUCKY’S FAN UPRISING INSTEAD OF ALL THIS DUMB WARSHINUN STUFF? COME ON,
Tag: joe b hall
The Beasman spray painted Coach Cal’s front door 🎨 PLAY DONTAIE
THE BEASMAN cats are just warming up (long laff) HAPPY BLUE YEAR! GO CATS! GO BIG BLUE! GO U UH KAY! (laff) LARRY, LARRY, LARRY! HOW DO YOU KEEP THIS JOB ON WH&S? YOU SUCK AS A RADIO GUNOUNCER AND ALL US GOOD AND CLASSY WILDCAT FANS WANNA LISSEN TO MATT JONES, NOT YOU, YOU CROSS-EYED, DUMBER-THAN-A-TREE-STUMP WILDCAT WANNABE! (laff) TWUNNY TWUNNY ONE IS GONNA BE FUN BECAUSE THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS JUST COME BACK TO LIFE! SAY IT WITH ME, YOU BALD HAIRED U OF SMELL BUTTKISSER! AWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! (laff) I SEEN HOW ONE OF YOUR FILTHY LOSERVILLE THUGS PAINTED ON SNITCH MCCONNELL’S FRONT DOOR “GIMME MY MONEY!” THAT SOUNDS LIKE LOSERVILLE BUMS ALWAYS WANTIN A HANDOUT FROM
WE WANT BAMA! cried The Beasman ahead of a Crimson Tide beatdown of the Cats
THE BEASMAN we want bama WE WANT BAMA! WE WANT BAMA! GO BIG BLUE! GO CATS! BAMA IS GOIN DOWN! BAMA AIN’T NOBODY! THEY BUSPOSABLY IS RANKED NUMBER ONE BUT AMERICA AIN’T SEEN WHAT KENTUCKY CAN DO YET! WE IS BRINGIN THE PAIN TRAIN TO TUSCALOOSER! (laffs) WE IS KENTUCKY! WE’S THE BIG BLUE! AWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! WE DONE PUT A WHOOPIN ON THEM SMARTY PANTS VANDERSMELT NERDS BUT WE DINT USE NONE OF OUR GOOD PLAYS. NAW…WE SAVIN THEM FOR BAMA CUZ STOOPS KNOWS WHEN WE BEAT BAMA THEN WE IS #1! (laffs) WE GONNA CRUSH SABAN’S SISSIES BY USIN TWO QUARTERBACKS, THE ONE WHO CAN RUN DOWN LOW AND THE ONE WHO CAN PASS SETTIN UP ON HIS SHOULDERS!
The Beasman is feasting on U of Smell’s losing streak while the Cats soar
Started 2020 with a W in front of 20,396 Cats fans in @Rupp_Arena. You 💙to see these highlights. pic.twitter.com/Ws21BDDvYo— Kentucky Basketball (@KentuckyMBB) January 4, 2020 THE BEASMAN loserville losing streak (chuckling) ZIPPITY DO DAH, ZIPPITY DAY. MY OH MY WHAT A WONDERFUL DAY! (laffs) LOSERVILLE GOTTA LONGER LOSIN STREAK THAN I-RANIAN GENERALS HANGIN ROUND AIRPORTS! (laffs) Y’ALL CAN’T EVEN BEAT AN EGG! (laffs) U OF SMELL SUCKS SO BAD THAT CHRIS MACK GOT A JOB OFFER FROM ROOMBA! (laffs) YOU GOTTA LAFF AT MY FUNNY COMEDY JOKES, LARRY MINNER, CUZ AIN’T NOTHIN ELSE FUNNY ON THIS PATHETIC RADIO SHOW. (laffs) HAVE YOU SEEN THE NEW TOP 25 PO? SOMETHIN BLUE IS ON THE RISE AND SOMETHIN RED IS JUST BOUT DEAD!
Look out, Cardinals…here come them there Notre Dame Cathlick beak busters
THE BEASMAN football is back I BET YOU’S JEALOUS OF COACH CAL PLAYIN GOLF WITH PRESSER-DENT BROCK PAJAMAS, AIN’T YOU, LARRY? COACH CAL HANGS OUT WITH ALL THE BIGTIME STARS LIKE BROCK PAJAMAS, LEE-BRON JAMES, JAY Z, THE DRAKE, AND THE OAK RIDGE BOYS. WHICH PRESIDENT DID YOU PLAY GOLF WITH, LARRY MINNER? THE PRESIDENT OF THE HAIR CLUB FOR MEN? (laffs) IT’S TIME FOR FOOTBAW, CARDINAL SISSIES! SAY YOUR PRAYERS, YOU FILTHY U OF SMELLERS, CUZ Y’ALL BOUT TO DIE! (laffs) I LOVE IT! THE CARDINAL CRIMINALS GOT TO WAIT ALL WEEKEND FOR THEIR EXER-CUTION AT THE HANDS OF THEM DRUNK IRISH PEDDER-FILE, FAKE RELIGION CATHLICK SINNERS. (laffs) Y’ALL DEE-SERVE EACH OTHER, YOU STRIPPER POLE, GRAMMAW PROSTER-TUTE LOVIN LOSERVILLE
The Beasman got trickerated by JB Holmes’ doppelganger
What a moment. Soak it all in, @ShaneLowryGolf. #TheOpen pic.twitter.com/IRpjCQ20a8— Golf Channel (@GolfChannel) July 21, 2019 THE BEASMAN jb holmes sort of wins British Open WOOOOOO YEAH! GO CATS! GO BIG BLUE! DADGUMMIT, THAT’S WHAT I WAS SHOUTIN’ REAL LOUD WHEN THAT BEARDED, POTBELLY GOLFER FROM KENTUCKY J.B. HOLMES WON THE BRITISH OPEN! YEAH! GO CATS! KENTUCKY RULES THE WORLD! BLUE GITS IN! BLUE GITS IN! (sigh) BUT THEN MY BUDDY SAYS TO ME, HE SAYS “BEASMAN…THAT AIN’T J.B. HOLMES HOLDIN UP THAT TROPHY…THAT’S SOME DRUNK IRISHMAN NAME OF SHANE LOWRY." DADGUMMIT, I RUBBED MY EYES TWO OR THREE TIMES AND JUST THROWED THE TV REMOTE AT THE FIREPLACE. EVERBODY ALL WEEKEND KEPT SAYIN “JB
The Beasman bout to Nuh-Wore-uh y’all Cards fans out
THE BEASMAN who’s coming back? HEY LARRY! LARRY MINNER! IT’S THAT STUPID TIME OF YEAR WHEN PEOPLE START PRE-DICTIFYING NEXT YEAR’S BASKETBAW TEAMS WITH SCIENTIFIC POs. THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS IS LOADED FOR NEXT YEAR SO Y’ALL U OF SMELL LITTLE BROTHER NOBODIES AIN’T GOTTA PRAYER OF WHOOPIN US! (laffs) I LOVE IT! EVER YEAR, U OF SMELL IDIOTS START TAWKIN ABOUT “WAIT TIL YOU SEE NEXT YEAR’S CARDINAL BIRDS TEAM!” (laffs) AND THEN U UH KAY SMASHES YOUR FACE IN AGAIN AND Y’ALL SNAGGLE TOOTH, NECK TATTOO, SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, GRAFITTI PAINTIN, WHISKEY FOR BREAKFAST CARDINAL FOOLS START CRYIN ABOUT “WAIT TIL NEXT YEAR!” (laffs) BUT THE TRUTH IS COACH CAL GOT U OF SMELL’S NUMBER.
U of Smell pulverizes the Turd Heels, Beasman flummoxed
THE BEASMAN UofL shocks UNC WELL HOOTY HOOTY HOO…THE CARDINAL BIRDS CAUGHT ‘EM A WORM. WOW! US BIG BLUE NATION KENTUCKY WILDCATS IS REEEEAAAALY IMPRESSED THAT BALDY MACK AND HIS BAD NEWS BEARS GOT EM A BIG WIN AGAINST THEM TURD HEELS. WHAT DID Y’ALL DO, SEND KATINEENER POWELL TO SPEND ALL NIGHT DOIN NASTY STUFF WITH THE NARTH CARAMALINER PLAYERS? (laffs) DID KENNY JOHNSON SHOW UP AND START HANDIN OUT HOUSE PAYMENT MONEY TO THEM TURD HEEL PLAYER PARENTS? (laffs) I WAS JUST KIDDIN ON FRIDEE WHEN I SAID I WAS PULLIN FOR THE TURD HEELS…US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS HATE NARTH CARAMALINER. BUT WE ALSO HATE Y’ALL SO IT’S TOO BAD IT WEREN’T A TIE! (laffs)
Cats caught in storm of poor performance, difficult for Beasman to mock U of Smell
THE BEASMAN cats and petrino lose again WELL LARRY, MAYBE YOU DONE THE RIGHT THING TO GO TRAITOR TURNCOAT AND RENOUNCE YOUR U UH KAY LOYALTY TO BE A U OF SMELL THUG FAN. IT’S A BITTERSWEET TIME TO BE A CAT FAN, I TELL YOU WHAT. NORM-ULLY I’D BE DANCIN A JIG CUZ THE U OF SMELL FOOTBAW SCUMBAG COACH BOBBY NECK BRACE GOT FIRED BUT THEN AS SOON AS I START GRINNIN I THINK ABOUT STOOPS TROOPS PLAYIN LIKE POOPS AND I GIT SAD AGAIN. (crying) WE DON’T WANT BAMA NOW! U UH KAY IS RANKED #20 AND FALLIN. AIN’T NO NEW YEAR’S BIG SIX BO GAME. BINNY SNELL AIN’T GITTIN NO HEISHMAN TROPHY. AND TERRY
Beasman calls best team, Krzyzewski face, UofL fan necks: Cats, rats, and tats
THE BEASMAN cats lose but loserville slaughtered DON’T YOU EVEN START IN ON ME ABOUT U UH KAY LOSING, YOU CROSS-EYED, BUCK TEETH, BALD HAIR, STINKBREATH U OF SMELL APOLOGIST. DADGUMMIT, YOUR FILTHY CARDINAL CONVICTS LOST BY 400 POINTS, THE WORST BEATDOWN IN U OF SMELL HISTREE BUCEPT FOR THAT TIME IN WORLD WAR TWO THE JAPPER-NESE BOMBED CARDINAL STADIUM. Y’ALL CARDINAL FANS OUGHT TO RISE UP AND THROW BOBBY PETRINKO OUT IN THE STREET AND CHASE HIM OUTTA TOWN LIKE U UH KAY DONE TO BILL CURRY, JERRY CLAIBONE, RICH BROOKS, HAL DUMMY, GUY MORRIS, AND THE JOKER. DON’T Y’ALL CARDINAL IDIOTS KNOW HOW TO FIRE A FOOTBAW COACH? YOU JUST MOVE HIS OFFICE TO THE TARLIT ROOM