THE BEASMAN who’s coming back?
HEY LARRY! LARRY MINNER! IT’S THAT STUPID TIME OF YEAR WHEN PEOPLE START PRE-DICTIFYING NEXT YEAR’S BASKETBAW TEAMS WITH SCIENTIFIC POs. THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS IS LOADED FOR NEXT YEAR SO Y’ALL U OF SMELL LITTLE BROTHER NOBODIES AIN’T GOTTA PRAYER OF WHOOPIN US! (laffs) I LOVE IT! EVER YEAR, U OF SMELL IDIOTS START TAWKIN ABOUT “WAIT TIL YOU SEE NEXT YEAR’S CARDINAL BIRDS TEAM!” (laffs) AND THEN U UH KAY SMASHES YOUR FACE IN AGAIN AND Y’ALL SNAGGLE TOOTH, NECK TATTOO, SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, GRAFITTI PAINTIN, WHISKEY FOR BREAKFAST CARDINAL FOOLS START CRYIN ABOUT “WAIT TIL NEXT YEAR!” (laffs)

BUT THE TRUTH IS COACH CAL GOT U OF SMELL’S NUMBER. DON’T MATTER IF IT’S THE I-TALIAN RESTRUNT SEX ADDICT WHO’S COACHIN OR LITTLE TOWN BALDY MACK WHO’S COACHIN OR EVEN DENNY DUMMY…U UH KAY IS YOUR DOMMERATOR, YOU LITTLE BROTHER NOBODY FOOLS! (laffs) EVEN COACH’S BOY BRAD CALIPARI KNOWS HE AIN’T FIT TO HANG WITH U UH KAY SO HE’S GOIN SOMEWHERE’S ELSE. BUT WHEREVER BRAD GOES IT’LL BE BETTER THAN LOSERVILLE. I HEARED YOU IDIOTS A LITTLE WHILE AGO TAWKIN ABOUT JORDAN NUH-WORA COMIN BACK. (laffs) SO WHAT! HE SUCKS AND SO DOES STEVEN E-NOCKED-UP! (laffs)

I’d like to announce that I’ll be returning to Louisville for my Senior year for my final opportunity to compete for a National Championship! Thank you to all NBA teams for the good feedback the chance to show my talent. Let’s get it Card Nation‼️ pic.twitter.com/hsAhArPHyK

— Steven Enoch (@StevenEnoch) May 28, 2019

AND WHAT’S THE DEAL WITH NUH-WORA’S NAME? IT STARTS WITH A N BUT THEN WE POSED TO SAY WORE-UH. IS HIS MAMA DEE-LITERATE? (laffs) IT DON’T MATTER WHAT HE CALLS HISSELF…THE NBA DON’T WANT HIM SO HIM AND THAT E-NOCKED-UP GUY HAD TO CRAWL BACK TO BALDY MACK AND BEG TO STAY IN SCHOOL. CUZ ONCE YOU LEAVE U OF SMELL, THE NEXT STEP IS TO DEE-LIVER PIZZAS FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE SO WHY WOULDN’T YOU WANNA STAY IN SCHOOL WITH STRIPPERS AND SEX PARTIES! (laffs)

WUZZUP WITH THAT NEW PO? SOME IDIOT LISTS U OF SMELL AS #2 IN THE PRESEASON PO BEHIND MICHERGAN STATE. (laffs) AND HE GOT DUKE #3 AND U UH KAY #4. WHAT A JOKE! LOSERVILLE IS RANKED AHEAD OF KENTUCKY AND DUKE? (laffs) LOSERVILLE AIN’T GOT NOTHIN BUT A BUNCH OF RETREADS WHO COULDN’T BEAT NOBODY LAST YEAR AND FADED OUT OF THE NC2A TOURNEYMINT WHEN BABY PITINO TRASHED YOU. (laffs)

SO NOW Y’ALL GOT THE SAME GUYS AND YOU ADD IN ONE IRISH GUY AIDAN NICKELBACK. (laffs) WHAT’S HE DO? SING BAD SONGS WHILE HE MISSES ALL HIS FREE THROWS? (laffs) JUST GIVE UP, LOSERVILLE. YOU KNOW YOU IS THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS LITTLE BROTHERS FOREVER. COACH CAL – HE GOES TO MASS EVER DAY – COACH CAL DONE CONVINCED THE NBA TO LET US KEEP SUPERSTAR WILDCATS NICK RICHARDS AND EJ MONTGOMERY. THE NBA DINT WANT TO BUT COACH CAL TODE THE NBA THAT WE DONE GIVE YOU MOST OF THE PROS YOU GOT NOW SO LET US KEEP THESE TWO SO THAT U UH KAY CAN WIN IT ALL IN THE NC2A.

THEM NBA OWNERS IS SAD TO NOT GIT A CHANCE TO SCOOP UP NICK AND EJ BUT THEY KNOW THEY GOT TO KEEP KENTUCKY HAPPY SO HERE WE GO, CAT FANS! FARDY & OH! FARDY & OH! FARDY & OH! THIS HERE NEXT KENTUCKY WILDCATS TEAM IS GONNA PLAY ALL ITS EXER-BITION GAMES AGAINST NBA TEAMS AND MAYBE EVEN THE NBA ALL-STAR TEAM JUST TO GIT THE CATS SOME COMPERTITION! KENTUCKY IS GONNA BE ALL-WORLD THIS YEAR AND NOT LOSE TO NO TENNERSEE FRAUDS LIKE WE DONE LAST YEAR WHEN THEM REFFERMARIES WAS OUT TO GIT US.

MATTER OF FACT, COACH CAL SAYS AFTER WE WHOOP TENNERSEE REAL GOOD DOWN IN KNOXVILLE THIS SEASON, WE GONNA DRIVE OUR KENTUCKY TEAM BUS RIGHT OVER THE TOP OF THE TENNERSEE PLAYERS’ ILLEGAL FREE CARS OUT IN THE PARKING LOT. (laffs) SMASH ‘EM LIKE WE’S IN A MONSTER TRUCK SHOW! THAT’S WHAT YOU TENNERSEE HILLBILLY PRISON ARNGE WEARING FRAUDS DEE-SERVE AFTER EMBARRASSING THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS LAST YEAR. AWWWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! (laffs) #4 IN THE PO WITH U OF SMELL #2 AHEAD OF US. THAT PO GUY MUST BE SNIFFIN THE MARIJUANA AGAIN! AIN’T NOTHIN BUT KENTUCKY GLORY AHEAD! MATT JONES IS GONNA BE A SENATOR AND COACH CAL IS GONNA BE THE NEXT GOVERNOR AFTER THE CATS WIN IT ALL AGAIN! GO BIG BLUE! GO BIG BLUE! GO BIG BLUE! FARDY & OH! FARDY & OH! FARDY & OH!