THE BEASMAN nba draft disaster IT’S ANOTHER DARK DAY IN WILDCAT COUNTRY, LARRY MINNER! (cry) WHAT KIND OF DRUGS IS THEM NBA COACHES SNIFFIN? I WAS SETTIN THERE LAST NIGHT BU-SPECTIN THE FIRST 3 PICKS TO BE THE U UH KAY KENTUCKY WILDCATS, RIGHT? Y’ALL BOUT TO PICK I-ZAYER JACKSON FIRST! THEN GONNA BE BRANDO BOSTON! NEXT COME OLIVIER SARR FROM U UH KAY! (cry) BUT NAWWWW! EVER TIME THAT BALD HAIRED, MEERKAT LOOKIN NBA COMMISH-NER WALKED UP TO THE PODIUM HE WOULD CALL OUT THE NAME OF A LOSER FROM SOME OTHER SCHOOL, NOT KENTUCKY! (cry) THEY TOOK GUYS FROM OKLAHOMO STATE, GONZAGGER, STANFORD, ALAMBAMMER, THE MEMPHIS Y.M.C.A. AND EVEN DADGUM TENNERSEE! THEY PICKED A DADGUM PUKE ARNGE TENNERSEE GUY
THE BEASMAN new UK coaches I HEARED YOU ON THERE A-MOCKIN THAT NEW U UH KAY BASKETBAW COACH “THE CHIN” FOR SAYIN MANY MANY MANY MANY MANY MANY MANY MANY MANY GOOD TIMES IS A-COMIN TO BIG BLUE NATION! LEMME TELL YOU SOMETHIN, YOU BALD HAIRED, STINKBREATH, PENCIL NECK, NOT FUNNY, OVERRATED, SNAGGLE TOOTH LOUDMOUTH U OF SMELL BUTTKISSIN NOBODY…IF THE CHIN EVER CATCHES YOU OFF BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN WHERE YOU LIVE WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND SLICK RICK, THE CHIN SAYS HE’S GONNA KNOCK THEM LAST TWO HAIRS OFF YOUR PUMPKIN HEAD! (laffs) Chin already working hard. Let’s let the good times roll! #BBN x #LaFamilia pic.twitter.com/bLvhWwnw4W— Kentucky Basketball (@KentuckyMBB) May 6, 2021 DON’T YOU LOWDOWN U OF SMELL CARDINAL BIRDS GO A-MAWKIN
THE BEASMAN calipari lifetime contract SHUT YOUR SNAGGLE TOOTH MOUTH, LARRY MINNER! I AIN’T IN NO MOOD FOR JOSHIN’ WITH YOU U OF SMELL BUTTKISSERS. Y’ALL CARDINALS CAINT SMIRK CUZ Y’ALL IS ON BASKETBAW PAUSE CUZ Y’ALL DISEASED UP WITH THE S.T.D.s. BUT AMERICA DON’T CARE! AMERICA WANTS TO SEE THEIR HERO KENTUCKY WILDCATS! TROUBLE IS…WE GO OUT THERE AND SUCK AGAIN! (cry) MY WILDCATS SUCK THE SUCKIEST SUCK IN THE HISTREE OF U UH KAY BASKETBAW. IT’S TRUE. BIG BLUE IS 5 AND 12 AND IT FEELS LIKE WE IS 5 AND 5 HUNDERD. (cry) I CAINT BLEEVE THE MIGHTY KENTUCKY WILDCATS DONE SUNK LOWER’N A SNAKE’S BELLY. AFTER LOSIN TO THEM MOONSHINE SWILLIN, SISTER KISSIN TENNERSEE HILLBILLIES, OL COACH CAL
THE BEASMAN cat fan uprising I KNOW THERE’S A LOT OF CRABBY CAT FANS RIGHT NOW BUT TELL ‘EM TO PUT COACH CAL’S FURNITURE BACK IN HIS HOUSE! COACH CAL DON’T GOTTA LEAVE LEXINUN AFTER ALL CUZ U UH KAY IS WINNIN AGAIN! AWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! DONTRAY ALLEN IS SHOOTIN THE LIGHTS OUT AND WE GOT KREON BROOKS PLAYIN AGAIN! BIG BLUE NATION OUGHT TO BE HAPPY BUT HALF OUR GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS SAY THEY AIN’T FANS NO MORE! Laurel County Sheriff and Jailer burn their UK shirts in protest of UK kneeling last game pic.twitter.com/fyy71mnSJZ — Matt Jones (@KySportsRadio) January 11, 2021 LARRY, WHY CAINT YOU TAWK ABOUT KENTUCKY’S FAN UPRISING INSTEAD OF ALL THIS DUMB WARSHINUN STUFF? COME ON,
THE BEASMAN cats are just warming up (long laff) HAPPY BLUE YEAR! GO CATS! GO BIG BLUE! GO U UH KAY! (laff) LARRY, LARRY, LARRY! HOW DO YOU KEEP THIS JOB ON WH&S? YOU SUCK AS A RADIO GUNOUNCER AND ALL US GOOD AND CLASSY WILDCAT FANS WANNA LISSEN TO MATT JONES, NOT YOU, YOU CROSS-EYED, DUMBER-THAN-A-TREE-STUMP WILDCAT WANNABE! (laff) TWUNNY TWUNNY ONE IS GONNA BE FUN BECAUSE THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS JUST COME BACK TO LIFE! SAY IT WITH ME, YOU BALD HAIRED U OF SMELL BUTTKISSER! AWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! (laff) I SEEN HOW ONE OF YOUR FILTHY LOSERVILLE THUGS PAINTED ON SNITCH MCCONNELL’S FRONT DOOR “GIMME MY MONEY!” THAT SOUNDS LIKE LOSERVILLE BUMS ALWAYS WANTIN A HANDOUT FROM
The last time Kentucky basketball was this bad, 25-year-old Adolph Rupp was a wrestling coach in Iowa and these slugs were repping the Cats. Most of them were local boys from so-called Big Blue Nation. That counts for a lot around these parts. University of Kentucky basketball fans are reeling from a six game losing streak, with the latest burn by arch-rival Louisville. Some UK zealots are calling for Coach John Calipari to step down. Others question whether his one-and-done methodology is now outdated. Most UK fans agree that Calipari needs to give more playing time to Dontaie Allen. Why? Because he's a homegrown basketball player who was named Mr. Basketball! He's a Kentuckian, and in the minds of the majority, that makes Allen
For those in red, Christmas now begins on December 26. For those in blue, Christmas is over. The Louisville Cardinals (6-1) defeated the Kentucky Wildcats (1-6) in a seesaw matchup. Louisville led by 7 with less than six minutes remaining but Kentucky clawed back to tie it in the last minute. Kentucky 7-footer Olivier Sarr had a late shot to take the lead but the rim was unforgiving. Louisville's Carlik Jones was fouled as he scooped the rebound. Jones made both free throws to create the final margin, 62-59. A pandemic-spaced 3,000 fans witnessed the rivalry game at Louisville's KFC Yum Center. Is 2020 a bad year? Depends on whom you ask. Louisville coach Chris Mack was happy with the win but is still
THE BEASMAN cats losing streak continues (cry) THIS CAINT BE CHRISTMAS TIME…IT’S STILL HALLER-WEEN FOR KENTUCKY WILDCAT FANS. (cry) I CAINT BLEEVE WE PAY COACH CAL 9 MILLION A YEAR TO GIVE US THIS DUMPSTER FIRE! WE JUST GOT BOOT STOMPED BY A WINLESS NOBODY JARJUH TECH NERD SCHOOL! (cry) DADGUMMIT, WE IS BIG BLUE NATION! WE IS THE CATS! COACH CAL DONE MAILIN IT IN, LARRY! HE LOOKS LIKE A OLD HIPPIE FREAK WITH HIS LONG HAIR AND BEER BELLY. AND SO OUR U UH KAY WILDCAT PLAYERS IS PROLLY SNIFFIN THE POT LIKE THEIR HIPPIE HEAD COACH! DADGUMMIT…THE WILDCAT TRAIN DONE RUN OFF THE TRACKS! THE CATS IS MAKIN MORE TURNOVERS THAN BETTY CROCKER. THAT BIG TRANSFER FELLER…OLIVER SARR…HE’S OLIVER SORRY!
THE BEASMAN we want bama WE WANT BAMA! WE WANT BAMA! GO BIG BLUE! GO CATS! BAMA IS GOIN DOWN! BAMA AIN’T NOBODY! THEY BUSPOSABLY IS RANKED NUMBER ONE BUT AMERICA AIN’T SEEN WHAT KENTUCKY CAN DO YET! WE IS BRINGIN THE PAIN TRAIN TO TUSCALOOSER! (laffs) WE IS KENTUCKY! WE’S THE BIG BLUE! AWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! WE DONE PUT A WHOOPIN ON THEM SMARTY PANTS VANDERSMELT NERDS BUT WE DINT USE NONE OF OUR GOOD PLAYS. NAW…WE SAVIN THEM FOR BAMA CUZ STOOPS KNOWS WHEN WE BEAT BAMA THEN WE IS #1! (laffs) WE GONNA CRUSH SABAN’S SISSIES BY USIN TWO QUARTERBACKS, THE ONE WHO CAN RUN DOWN LOW AND THE ONE WHO CAN PASS SETTIN UP ON HIS SHOULDERS!
🚨 UPSET ALERT 🚨@GTMBB takes down No. 5 Louisville! pic.twitter.com/MH3EfLwcet— ACC Network (@accnetwork) February 13, 2020 THE BEASMAN Louisville loses (sing) I’M A RAMBLIN WRECK FROM JARJUH TECH AND A HECK OF AN ENGINEER! (laffs) HEY LAREEEEE! LARRY MINNER! I BEEN SINGIN THAT SONG ALL DAY LONG! (laffs) HOW’S YOU SNAGGLE TOOTH, LOUDMOUTH, BEER BREATH, SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, SANCTUARY CITY LOSERVILLE FRAUDS FEELIN TODAY? (laffs) EVERBODY IN BIG BLUE NATION IS REEEEEEEEEAAAAAALLLL HAPPY! Ls DOWN! Ls DOWN! Ls DOWN! (sing) I’M A RAMBLIN WRECK FROM JARJUH TECH AND A HECK OF AN ENGINEER! (laffs) ME AND MY WILDCAT BUDDIES WAS A-PULLIN REAL HARD FOR THEM JARJUH TECH TATTOOED UP ENGINEERS AND THEY COME THROUGH FOR US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS,