Note to hotheads: Don’t curse at the judge who determines your sentence, especially for a fourth time. Judicial patience wanes after three tirades.
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Keepers
Kentucky can mow down a row of daffodils on the way to the Final Four
THE BEASMAN march madness (1)
HEY LARREEEEEE…LARRY THE LOSER DONE TODE HIS BALD BUDDY CHRIS MACK TO NOT BOTHER PACKIN NO OVERNIGHT BAG. THE NC2A FOUNT ANOTHER PITINO TO WRECK YOUR PROGRUM. U OF SMELL FIRED HIS DADDY AND SLICK RICK IS SUIN U OF SMELL FOR FARDY MILLION DOLLARS. I BETCHA RICHARD PITINO GONNA HAVE ANDRE MCGEE SETTIN ON HIS BENCH ALONG WITH THREE F.B.I. AGENTS REFEREEING THE GAME. (laffs) Y’ALL AIN’T GOT A PRAYER, YOU BUNCH OF SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, DUKE COLLAPSIN FOOLS. (laffs)
MEANTIME, AMERICA’S TEAM, THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS GONNA ROLL RIGHT THROUGH THAT WEAK SAUCE BRACKET LIKE THE BULLS IN PIMP-PLANNO. U UH KAY’S BRACKET IS LIKE THAT LOSERVILLE SINKHOLE…ALL THEM OTHER FOOLS DONE GOT SUCKED INTO THE BLACK HOLE CUZ THEY KNOW THE MIGHTY KENTUCKY WILDCATS IS COMIN TO SMASH THEIR UGLY FACES. I BETCHA $50 THAT MURRAY STATE AND NORTHERN KENTUCKY LAST LONGER IN THE BIG DANCE THAN LOSERVILLE. (laffs) IT’S PARTY TIME, CAT FANS! THE BIG BLUE IS SET UP FOR GREATNESS CUZ AIN’T NOBODY CAN LAY A GLOVE ON US.
NARTH CARAMALINER IS A BUNCH OF FRAUDS. EVEN LOSERVILLE BEAT THEM. THEY SUCK. SO YOU KNOW WE GOIN TO THE FINAL FOUR. AND ZION WILLIAMSTOWN IS SKEERED OF U UH KAY CUZ HE KNOWS THEY GOT LUCKY BACK AT THE BEGINNING OF THE SEASON. U UH KAY WANTS REE-VENGE. AND SEEIN TENNERSEE GIT SPANKED IN THE S.E.C. CHAMPERCHIP WAS HI-LARIOUS! THEY IS A BUNCH OF FRAUDS AND AUBURN PROVED IT.
BUT WHEN U UH KAY LOSES THE S.E.C. TOURNEYMINT CHAMPERCHIP WE ALWAYS SAY THEY’LL USE IT AS MOTOR-VATION AND THAT WE IS GLAD THEY LOST BEFORE MARCH MADNESS CUZ THAT TAKES THE PRESSURE OFF. BUT WHEN TENNERSEE DOES IT, THAT’S BECAUSE THEY’RE FRAUDS WHO GONNA FOLD IN THE NC2A.
THAT’S CAT FAN LOGIC, LARRY! LEARN IT, LIVE IT, LOVE IT! AWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! I’M GONNA CALL IN TO ALL THE OTHER RADIO SHOWS TO LET ‘EM KNOW U OF SMELL IS LITTLE BROTHER SCUMBAGS AND THAT U UH KAY AIN’T WHININ ABOUT OUR BRACKET FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE COACH CAL GOT HERE. (laffs)
GO BIG BLUE! GO CATS! FINAL FOUR! FINAL FOUR! AND I AIN’T TALKIN ABOUT HOW MANY TEETH YOUR MAMA GOT LEFT! (laffs) AND SHUT UP ABOUT GIRL BASKETBAW. ONLY LOSERS AND SWISHY BOYS ACT LIKE GIRL BASKETBAW MATTERS. REAL BASKETBAW FANS KNOW THAT THE KENTUCKY WILDCAT MEN’S TEAM IS COMIN THROUGH THEM BRACKETS LIKE A TAR-NADO THROUGH A BULLITT COUNTY TRAILER PARK. GIT OUTTA THE WAY TEXAS ALBACORE! HERE COME THE CATS! GO BIG BLUE! GO BIG BLUE! GO BIG BLUE! DUKE SUCKS! YOU CAINT SPELL DUKE WITHOUT A U AND K IN THE MIDDLE! GO CATS! FINAL FOUR! FINAL FOUR! FINAL FOUR! C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS!
THE BEASMAN march madness (2)
FOR ONCE, COACH CAL AIN’T CRYIN THE BLUES ABOUT TOO MANY TOUGH TEAMS IN OUR PATH. LOOKS TO ALL US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS THAT THEY LINED US UP AGAINST A BUNCH OF NANCY BOYS. TEXAS ALBACORE AND WOFFORD AND WHITNEY HOUSTON. (laffs) NOTHIN BUT SWISHY BOYS IN U UH KAY’S REGIONAL. AND SEVEN S.E.C. TEAMS IS IN THE BIG DANCE, SAME AS THE A.C.C. SO SHUT YOUR CAKE HOLE ABOUT THE A.C.C. BEIN THE BEST CONFRENCE, YOU BUNCH OF FLATBILL, LINE BEARD U OF SMELL CARDINAL CONVICT FANS. (laffs)
BUT I GUESS YOU CROOKED TEETH, BOURBON BREATH, SISTER-DATIN U OF SMELL CARDINAL BIRDS FEEL PURDY GOOD ABOUT YOURSELFS NOT GOIN TO THE N.I.T. WHERE YOU BLONG, YOU BUNCH OF DIVISION TWO LITTLE BROTHER, SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, STREET THUG, DRIVE BY SHOOTIN, GRAFFITI PAINTIN, G.E.D. FLUNKIN LOSERVILLE CARDINAL NOBODIES. (laffs) Y’ALL GOTTA GO TO IOWA, A STATE THAT AIN’T NEVER SEEN GANG BANG, FACE TATTOO, GOLD CHAIN WEARIN, MAKIN BABIES OUT OF WEDLOCK THUG FANS LIKE LOSERVILLE GOT! (laffs)
GO LITTLE PITINO! BEAT THAT VILLE! PITINO KNOWS HOW TO MANAGE THE LAST 15 SECONDS! (laffs) ALL US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS IS PULLIN FOR MINNERSOTA TO SEND THE VILLE HOME ONE-AND-DONE! THAT WILL GIVE THE F.B.I. MORE TIME TO INTERRERGATE YOUR CRIMINAL CARDINAL PLAYERS WHILE THE REST OF US ENJOY WATCHIN U UH KAY WIN TITLE NUMBER NINE! (laffs)
I AIN’T GONNA LIE TO YOU, LARRY. ME AND ALL MY WILDCAT BUDDIES WAS PURDY SICK TO OUR STOMACH TO LOSE THE S.E.C. TOURNEY TO THEM PRISON JUMPSUIT ARGE TENNERSEE NOBODIES…AND THEN THEY GO TO THE CHAMPERCHIPS AND GIT BEATDOWN BY CHEATIN BRUCE PEARL. AIN’T NONE OF IT MAKES NO SENSE, DADGUMMIT.
BUT COACH CAL ALWAYS SAYS “IT BEEZE WHAT IT BEEZE.” US GOOD AND CLASSY KENTUCKY WILDCAT FANS GONNA FOLLOW PEE JAY’S ADVICE AND JUST FORGIT ABOUT THE ADMIRAL AND THEM OTHER TENNERSEE FRAUDS AND GIT FOCUSED ON THAT ROW OF CUPCAKES WE UP AGAINST IN THE NC2A. TEXAS ABILENE. THAT’S A BIBLE SCHOOL BUT THEY AIN’T GOT NO PRAYER TO STOP HERRO, HAGANS, PJ, NICK, EJ, AND COACH CAL. TITLE NINE! TITLE NINE! TITLE NINE! AND I AIN’T TAWKIN ABOUT NO STUPID GIRL SPARTS. I’M TALKIN ABOUT U UH KAY GITTIN THE NINTH NATIONAL CHAMPERCHIPS BANNER THIS YEAR. THE A.C.C. IS A BUNCH OF FRAUD NOBODIES.
photo: Lexington Herald Leader
WE WANT THE TURD HEELS! I BETCHA NARTH CARAMALINER WON’T NEVER GIT TO U UH KAY CUZ THEY IS FOOL’S GOLD. KENTUCKY CAN WHOOP ALL THEM SISSIES IN OUR BRACKET! THEN WE WANT THE VIRGINNY WHITE SPREMACISTS! OR DUKE! THEY ALL SUCK! S.E.C. BASKETBAW IS THE BEST LEAGUE BUT THE TOURNEYMINT IS RUN BY A BUNCH OF DUKE LOVERS WHO TRY TO MAKE IT FEEL LIKE THE A.C.C. IS GREAT BUT LOOK AT ALL THE S.E.C. TEAMS IN. L.S.WHO, FLARIDER, TENNERSEE, OLE MISS, MISTERSIPPI STATE, AND AUBURN IS ALL IN THERE WITH THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS SO LET THAT SINK IN.
Chris Mack celebrates with his UofL team after thumping UNC — photo by Louisville athletics
YOU A.C.C. DOORMAT CARDINAL BIRDS WILL BE OUT ON THE FIRST DAY BUT ALL YOU BRAINLESS U OF SMELLERS CAN AT LEAST WAIT FOR THE LADY BASKETBAW BRACKET TO COME OUT TONIGHT WHERE YOU ACTUALLY GOT A CHANCE TO HANG AROUND. I BETCHA THEM MANLY U OF SMELL GIRLS GONNA GIT A #1 SEED. BIG WHOOPTY DO, DADGUMMIT! BALDY MACK AND HIS BAD NEWS BEARS GONNA BE ONE-AND-DONE IN THE BIG DANCE AND SO THEN ALL Y’ALL CARDINAL CRYBABIES CAN ACT LIKE YOU REALLY CARE ABOUT GIRL BASKETBAW AND CHEER REAL LOUD FOR YOUR LADY CARD FRAUDS. I KNOW THEY BEAT UCONN ONE TIME IN 19 TRIES.
Terry Meiners and Asia Durr, WHAS studios, January 30, 2019
WELL GUESS WHAT? PURDY SOON THE COUNT WILL GO TO ONE OUT OF TWUNNY CUZ AIN’T NO WAY THAT I-TALIAN STALLION OF LADY BALL GENO AUREOLA GONNA LOSE TWICE TO THEM CARDINAL BROADS. (laffs) THAT WHOLE LADY CARDINAL TEAM LOOKS LIKE IT OUGHTA BE IN M.M.A. FIGHTIN INSTEAD OF BASKETBAW, BUT GO AHEAD AND ACT LIKE Y’ALL CARE. REAL BASKETBAW FANS KNOW THAT THE KENTUCKY WILDCAT MEN’S TEAM IS COMIN THROUGH THEM BRACKETS LIKE A TAR-NADO THROUGH A BULLITT COUNTY TRAILER PARK. GIT OUTTA THE WAY TEXAS ALBACORE! HERE COME THE CATS! GO BIG BLUE! GO BIG BLUE! GO BIG BLUE! DUKE SUCKS! YOU CAINT SPELL DUKE WITHOUT A U AND K IN THE MIDDLE! GO CATS!
DJ Woke Woke presents your 2020 sensitive male candidates and three more predatory songs to purge
illustration: New York Times
There is zero chance that a man or anyone identifying as a man will be the Democrat nominee for the presidency in 2020. A New York Times opinion piece featured the parade of woke boys who are delusional enough to think they have a chance.
And now to the next grouping of DJ Woke Woke’s never-to-be-played-again songs that are too predatory for #MeToo ears. Time’s up, pervs!
Rod Stewart’s “Hot Legs”
Imagine how my daddy felt
In your jet black suspender belt
Seventeen years old,
He’s trudging sixty four
You got legs right up to your neck
You’re makin’ me a physical wreck
I’m talkin’ to you
Hot legs in your satin shoes
Hot legs, are you still in school?
Hot legs, you’re makin’ me a fool
I love you, honey
The Cars “Let’s Go”
She’s driving away with the dim lights on
She’s making a play and she can’t go wrong
She never waits too long
She’s winding them down on her clock machine
And she won’t give up ’cause she’s seventeen
She’s a frozen fire
She’s my one desire
And I don’t want to hold her down
Don’t want to break her crown
When she says, let’s go
I like the nightlife baby
She says, let’s go
Dire Straits “Money for Nothing”
See the little faggot with the earring and the makeup
Yeah buddy that’s his own hair
That little faggot got his own jet airplane
That little faggot, he’s a millionaire
Civil discourse never goes out of style
Twitter is filled with acerbic, profane screaming that solves nothing. The political divide widens with every vulgar post.
Occasionally, a civil exchange occurs and no one walks away wounded, just a bit wiser.
Key point in this statement is when “you” were young. Not all of us lose our passion and idealism for a better life just because we now benefit from a political economy tilted toward the wealthy and privileged.
— Flash (@flash_1959) March 16, 2019
Well done, Flash & Thomas Sowell.
For plenty of respectful enlightenment from both sides, read the entire thread following Mr. Sowell’s tweet.
"One of the bittersweet things about growing old is realizing how mistaken you were when you were young. As a young political leftist, I saw the left as the voice of the common man. Nothing could be further from the truth."
— Thomas Sowell (@ThomasSowell) March 15, 2019
One more golden nugget pulled from this week’s Twitter sewage.
"To be ignorant of what occurred before you were born is to remain always a child. For what is the worth of human life, unless it is woven into the life of our ancestors by the records of history?"–Cicero
— MandyConnell (@MandyConnell) March 15, 2019
“News”
WAVE3 would like for you to have a kitty. My teammates at WHAS11 are rating snacks.
Over on WLKY, it’s breaking news about dog faces on St. Patrick’s Day shirts.
And WDRB is squabbling with service providers to get reinstated. All local stations go through these rate negotiations from time to time.
WDRB’s typically news heavy website does occasionally throw in some fluff.
This is why Duke vs UNC is the greatest rivalry in college basketball
Please stop arguing about Louisville vs Kentucky or Kentucky vs Duke. When the Blue Devils play the Tarheels, it’s guaranteed gold.
Just for giggles, here’s the epic Tennessee victory over Kentucky in the SEC Tourney semifinal.
The cool kids are rarely the smarter ones
Democrat Beto O'Rourke compares those who are writing climate change proposals to “those who were on the beaches in Normandy”pic.twitter.com/rp41Rea3wc
— Ryan Saavedra (@RealSaavedra) March 14, 2019
Beto the flailing phenom is considered cool but no one is cooler than AOC the interrogator. She’s REALLLLLLLLLY smart! Here’s a thought…how about do some research before questioning a
Thoughts and prayers for all of us.
At 1st I thought of saying, “Imagine being told your house of faith isn’t safe anymore.”
But I couldn’t say “imagine.”
Because of Charleston.
Pittsburgh.
Sutherland Springs.What good are your thoughts & prayers when they don’t even keep the pews safe?pic.twitter.com/2mSw0azDN8
— Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (@AOC) March 15, 2019
A jealous St X boy like me can only stand and applaud for our rivals…but my stepson is at Trinity so there’s that
Congrats to Trinity High School on another KHSAA 🏀 state championship ☝🏾 #SweetSixteen ☘️☘️☘️ OMG, Tony Vanetti and Jody Demling are going to be UNBEARABLE at the radio station this week. 🙄
photo: KHSAA
University of Louisville basketball fans can feel the love too.
Congrats to @trinitysports on a well deserved @KHSAA State Championship! Special shoutout to MVP, and future Card David Johnson.
☘️x🐔 pic.twitter.com/BCSf3hcZh2
— Luke Murray (@CoachLukeMurray) March 10, 2019
My stepson Aidan was in the stands to enjoy the moment. His mom and I asked “Did you take pictures?” Aidan: “No. Why?”
Aidan is the tall skinny one second from left
final score: Trinity 50, Scott County 40
Financial experts: here’s how to save $300+ million on KFC Yum Center payments. Oh, and where is that other $29 million?
Louisville Mayor Greg Fischer and Terry Meiners, June 2018
In a radio chat this week, I asked Louisville Mayor Greg Fischer about an expert’s plan that could save $300 million paying off the KFC Yum Center ($10m per year). The mayor seemed underwhelmed.
The Metro Council is considering tripling the local tax on insurance premiums. Taxpayers are incensed that the mayor and council aren’t first considering budget cuts.
Mayor Fischer and I also discussed the odd logic of paying criminals to curtail crime without LMPD guidance, JCPS sickouts, the Passport Health meltdown, and more. 🎙️ AUDIO
KFC Yum Center, January 2019
Below are the financial plan details submitted by businessman Denis Frankenberger and affirmed by former attorney general Chris Gorman and other financial experts who wish to remain anonymous.
A sidebar to this story is that $40 million ($39,592,081 to be exact) in additional debt was piled onto the principal during the 2017 refinancing of the arena. Taxpayers have been told that approximately $11 million of the fresh $40 million was spent for fees to complete the refi.
Where is the other $29 million? No one seems to be addressing that mystery.
The total principal and interest payments for the KFC Yum Center will eventually total $1,371,743,025. That’s nearly $1.4 BILLION!
Denis Frankenberger
Frankenberger, who described his plan on my radio show, emailed Metro Council President David James the day after my conversation with Mayor Greg Fischer.
Below are documents that Frankenberger attached and submitted to city leaders.
The Catholic God is out to get Kentucky, can Coach Cal become a Protestant for better heavenly help?
THE BEASMAN I hate cathlicks
I HATE CATHLICKS LIKE YOU, LARRY MINNER. ALL YOUR FAKE RELIGION BUDDIES THINK YOU CAN JUST GO GIT DRUNK AT THE MARDI GRAS AND VOMIT ALL OVER THE PLACE AND THEN GO TO CONFESSION AND ALL YOUR SINS JUST GIT WIPED AWAY LIKE A ETCH-A-SKETCH. TELL THE TRUTH RIGHT NOW, YOU CATHLICK FRAUD. THEM NOTRE DAME PHONIES LAID DOWN AND JUST LET THE NOBODY CARDINALS BEAT ‘EM, RIGHT? ANDRE MCGEE PROBLEE GIVE A HUNK OF CASH TO THAT POPE FELLER! THAT’S HOW Y’ALL SINFUL CARDINAL BIRDS OPERATE.
YOU AND ALL THEM OTHER TOOTHLESS, BRAINLESS CARDINAL FANS MAKE ME SICK EVER TIME YOU MENTION THAT U UH KAY LOST. WE KNOW WE LOST, DADGUMMIT. YOU DON’T GOTTA KEEP SQUAWKIN ABOUT IT! YOU POSED TO SAY “GO CATS, BEAT MISTERSIPPI” BUT NAW, YOU STILL TAWKIN ABOUT THE TENNERSEE DEE-BOCKLE. WELL I SEEN YOU ON TV SETTIN THERE AT YESTERDEE’S U OF SMELL GAME WEARING THAT RED SHIRT AND CHEERING FOR THEM FILTHY CARDINAL BIRDS. YOU POSED TO BE OBJECTIFY IN THE MEDIA, LARRY MINNER, NOT NO CHEERLEADER FOR U OF SMELL.
Mark, Terry, and Mike Meiners (2019)
I’M GONNA FILE A COMPLAINT WITH THE FDIC TO GIT YOUR RADIO BROADCASTIGATOR LICENSED REVOKED, YOU BALD HAIRED FRAUD. THE ONLY BROADCASTIGATORS WHO IS ALLOWED TO CHEER FOR A TEAM IS ALL THE KENTUCKY WILDCAT LEXINUN MEDIA CUZ THE GUMMIT UNDERSTANDS THAT BIG BLUE NATION IS A IRRESTIBLE FORCE. SO MATT JONES AND OSCAR COMBS AND TOM BLEACH ALL GOT SPECIAL PERMISSION TO BE BIASED. BUT NOT YOU, BALDY. QUIT BOOTLICKIN THEM CRIMINAL CARDINALS, LARRY. IT’S A VIOLATION OF THE STATE LAW OF BROADCASTERGATIN.
Dwayne Sutton (24) and Jordan Nwora (33) defend against Notre Dame (March 3, 2019)
SAY “GO BIG BLUE” RIGHT NOW TO PROVE YOU AIN’T BIASED AGAINST THE CATS! (wait two seconds) SEE…YOU CAINT DO IT, YOU FRAUD. I’M GONNA TELL U UH KAY THAT WH&S IS TWO-TIMIN THE BIG BLUE CUZ THE CATS IS POSED TO BE YOUR PRIORITY TEAM. THEY NEED TO FIRE YOU AND LET SENATOR MATT JONES HAVE YOUR TIME SLOT, YOU CARDINAL FANBOY! U UH KAY COULD GIT YOU FIRED RIGHT NOW AND GROVER THE FAKE COP CAN EXCORT YOU OFF THE RADIO STATION PREMISES. MATT JONES WILL TELL THE REAL TRUTH ABOUT LOSERVILLE ON THE RADIO. THEN WH&S WOULD FINALLY BE A RADIO STATION FOR THE PEOPLE WHOSE MINDS AINT WARPED.
BIG BLUE PEOPLE IS GOOD CHRISTIANS WHO ACT DECENT AND LOSERVILLE FANS IS NECK TATTOO, RAP MUSIC, WELFARE CHEATIN, G.E.D. FLUNKIN’ CARDINAL CONVICTS. O.K. YOU GOT ONE VICTREE…Y’ALL IS STILL NOBODIES WHO OUGHT TO BE IN THE N.I.T. BUT I GUESS SINCE YOU BEAT THEM DRUNK CATHLICK NOTRE DAME LOSERS, NOW Y’ALL PROBLEE GONNA GIT IN TO MARCH MADNESS AS A #16 SEED. BIG WHOOPTY DO.
I’M SURE YOU AND YOUR CROSSEYED CARDINAL BUDDIES BEEN GIGGLIN CUZ U UH KAY LOST A CLOSE ONE TO TENNERSEE. DON’T GIT TOO WORKED UP, LARRY. LOSERVILLE BEAT A BUNCH OF STUPID BEER DRINKIN, ROSARY BEAD RUBBIN, BINGO PLAYIN FAKE RELIGION CATHLICK HEATHENS.
JUST WAIT TIL Y’ALL PLAY VIRGINNY IN A FEW DAYS. YOU GONNA GO RIGHT BACK INTO THE BUZZSAW OF NOBODYLAND. AND I AINT FORGOT THAT TENNERSEE GAME SO I’M MAD AT COACH CAL. I THINK CAL IS BOYFRIENDS WITH THAT TENNERSEE COACH NAME OF RICK BARNES. EVERBODY CAN SEE COACH CAL LAYS DOWN WHENEVER WE PLAY BARNES. THEM PRISON ARNGE WEARIN ROCKY TOP HILLBILLIES DON’T SESERVE TO BEAT THE CATS! WE IS KENTUCKY, DADGUMMIT! NOW THEY SAYS U UH KAY IS A #2 SEED! WHAT A INSULT!
LET’S GIT REX CHAMPMAN TO DO THE GAME COACHIN AND KEEP COACH CAL JUST FOR RECRUITIN ONE AND DONES AND THEN WE CAN BE A #1 SEED AGAIN! COACH CAL NEEDS TO STOP GOIN TO MASS EVER DAY CUZ PRAYIN TO THAT CATHLICK GOD AIN’T HELPIN THE CATS WIN AND IT AIN’T HELPIN NOTRE DAME BEAT THE LOWDOWN LOSERVILLE CARDINALS. FORGIT ABOUT MASS, COACH CAL. YOU NEED TO SWITCH TO THE GOOD KENTUCKY BABDIZ GOD LIKE ADOLPH RUPP AND ME PRAYED TO. THAT BABDIZ GOD GOT US ALL THEM BANNERS YOU SEE UP IN THE RUMP ARENER RAFTERS! NOW LET’S GO WIN THESE LAST TWO S.E.C. GAMES, GET OUR #1 SEED BACK, AND THEN RUMBLE THROUGH MARCH MADNESS LOOKIN TO KILL US SOME DOOKIES! WE IS U UH KAY! AWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS!