I added some music to this. pic.twitter.com/UwjhTKpaeu
— Bob Hagh (@BobHagh) June 22, 2017
A twitter user added music from Flashdance, this may be the greatest viral video ever.
Check the comments section. Animal rights activists be losin’ they miiiinnnnnndddzzzz.
More monkey fun here
Here’s a candid update letter from Rick Pitino to members of Friends of the Ville, a philanthropy group managed by the university. Pitino has assembled similar booster groups while coaching at Kentucky, and Boston. I’ve served on the board of DPF (Daniel Pitino Foundation) for about 15 years. My best guess is that more than $10 million has been raised since the 90s, with most of the money going to the Daniel Pitino Foundation to serve children’s charities. DPF was founded to honor the memory of Joanne & Rick Pitino’s son who died in his first year of life.
Here is Coach Pitino’s letter to our group:
“Friends of the Ville”
LOUISVILLE BASKETBALL
June 21, 2017
Dear Friends of the Ville
I am writing to you as close supporters and Friends of the Ville members. You are special to me and I realize you have endured a lot over the last two years. When the news first came out in 2015, it sunk my emotions to the lowest point anyone could possibly imagine. I write this letter to tell you and encourage you to keep your spirits high.
First and foremost, I believe that the truth will prevail and justice will be served. We hired Chuck Smrt to guide us through this process. As an ex-NCAA enforcement staff member, Chuck directed us on what to do immediately based on the findings of the NCAA enforcement staff and we did exactly what he directed. We took away a chance to possibly go to a Final Four and win a National Championship. We were ranked 11th at the time with an experienced team, and imposed scholarship reductions and limited recruiting contacts. Based on the nature of what one of our ex-employees did, the committee penalized us beyond reason for the charges that were presented against us.
Let me clear up the following and leave no doubt that this is the truth and the only truth:
• Billy Minardi Hall was built in memory of my best friend and brother-in-law who I lost on 9/11. If I knew of anything that was going on there that would dishonor his name, that person wouldn’t be able to get out of town fast enough.
• I was told during the process that I didn’t ask pointed questions. Well what does that mean exactly? I asked our staff if the recruits enjoyed themselves. What did they do? How did they like everything? I then met with their families for breakfast and asked the same questions. No, I did not ask the staff if they saw any strippers last night. I can assure you that if I asked Andre any difficult question, he would have lied to my face to avoid immediate termination.
For background, I was coaching the Puerto Rican National team in Mexico when reports of the book first broke. I tried calling Andre to see if this was true. He wouldn’t answer. I then called Kareem Richardson, my ex-assistant and Andre’s boss. I asked Kareem to get Andre on the phone with him (Kareem was the Head Coach of UMKC and Andre was his assistant). I got right to the point: Did you have non-students in our dorm? His response was a girl that he was dating brought one of her daughters and her friends and they listened to music with the guys. I then asked who is this woman you are dating? He said he met her at a convention. I then asked what does she do? His response after months of reflection was absurd. He said she is a party planner. I exploded on the phone, I said you brought girls into a dorm to listen to music because you were dating a party planner? Mike Balado was sitting next to me, I was yelling so loud that I started to feel sick. I hung up and he swore to me that nothing improper happened and that they were just listening to music. I called back and asked Kareem did he believe him? His response was “why would he lie, the truth will come out.” I then spoke to Kenny Klein and he told me that the reports within the book did not say they were just listening to music.
I bring this story up because that was a phone call where I was 1500 miles away. Did the NCAA enforcement staff believe that Andre would ever tell me the truth if we were face to face? Absolutely not. He would have lied and lie some more. He knew how much that dorm meant to me. He knew how sickened I would be by his actions.
Bernie Madoff fooled the smartest people on Wall Street, SEC, family, brokers and major hedge funds. There are no questions that I asked to even give me a small clue to what was going on. Security employees, managers, assistant coaches, fellow students and most importantly, Billy Minardi’s children, and my nephews, all lived in that dorm. They were all questioned by me, and not one had any suspicion of any inappropriate activities going on in that dormitory.
I am not concerned about the outside world and what they think. My players, coaches and employees who have worked with me for years know how I am with rules and total compliance to the NCAA. I write this to our fans to keep your heads high and believe that the appeals committee will get it right and our values will continue to instill the right things in our student athletes.
Over twelve years ago, I hurt my wife and family by doing some improper things. I paid a heavy price with them and The Lord. We, as a family, are closer today than ever before and my faith is stronger than at any point in my life. I’m in this game for one reason, and only for one reason: to teach young men how to reach their potential on and off the court.
You, our loyal Louisville family, can rest assured we believe in doing the right thing and doing things that are important in the eyes of God.
Rick Pitino
Cardinal Basketball – 2432 South Floyd Street – Louisville, KY 40209
Rick Pitino and Andre McGee
Rick Pitino, Dr. Greg Postel, and Tom Jurich meet with the media after receiving harsh NCAA penalties.
THE BEASMAN scrub that tat
HEY LARRRREEEEEEE! LARRY MINNER! (laffs) I AIN’T QUIT LAUGHIN SINCE THE NC2A SHOWED UP AT U OF SMELL AND REPLACED THE THINKER STATUE WITH THE GRIM REAPER. (laffs) LOSERVILLE BASKETBAW IS DEADER THAN BILL COSBY’S MARRIAGE. (laffs) LEMME IN THAT YUM YUM SINNER SO ME AND MATT JONES CAN CUT DOWN THAT FAKE NEWS BANNER. TAKE IT DOWN! TAKE IT DOWN! THROW THAT FRAUD BANNER IN THE BOTTOM OF THE OHI-ER RIVER WITH MOHAMMAD ALI’S MEDAL!
Rick Pitino and Andre McGee
COACH CAL – HE GOES TO MASS EVER DAY – HE’S PRAYIN THAT SLICK RICK DON’T GIT FIRED CUZ U OF SMELL IS THE ONE BUNNY GAME ON THE CATS SCHEDULE! (laffs) Y’ALL DON’T NEED CHEERLEADERS – Y’ALL NEED PRAYER LEADERS. (laffs) WHAT KIND OF LIES IS YOU SPEWIN FROM YOUR FILTHY CARDINAL MOUTH TODAY? YOU STILL SAYIN SLICK RICK DINT KNOW NOTHIN BOUT THEM GRAMMAW STRIPPERS? (laffs) I BET YOU BLEEVE IN THE EASTER BUNNY, TOO, YOU BALD HAIRED NITWIT. ALL Y’ALL U OF SMELL MEDIA SUCKUPS IS TRYIN TO FIND A WAY TO CONVINCE THE NC2A APPEALS PEOPLE TO CHANGE THEIR MIND ABOUT YANKIN DOWN THAT BANNER. “OHHHH….HAVE MERCY ON US, NC2A! SLICK DINT KNOW! ANDRE MCGEE WAS CRAZY FROM A CONCUSSION! OLD LADY STRIPPERS NEEDED THE MONEY CUZ OF TRUMP’S CUTBACKS!” (laffs) LARRY, ENOUGH WITH THE BUXCUSES. YOU IS PEEIN IN THE WIND, SON. AIN’T NO CHANGIN THEM NC2A INFRACTION COMMITTEE MINDS.
Chuck Smrt – worst crisis manager ever?
LOSERVILLE IS THE BEST LITTLE SLEAZEYARD IN COLLEGE SPARTS AND THE NC2A IS SINGIN “TURN OUT THE LIGHTS, THE PARTY’S OVER!” Y’ALL U OF SMELLERS AIN’T SHOWED NO SYMPATHY FOR THE PARENTS OF THEM YOUNG BOYS WHAT WAS DE-FLOWERED BY THEM GRAMMAW STRIPPERS. THEM RESPECTACLE CHURCH LADIES ON THE NC2A INFRACTIONS PANEL SAID IT WAS REPUGNANT, REPULSIVE, DISGUSTIN, AND DOWNRIGHT SKEEZY. BUT SLICK RICK AND THEM OTHER U OF SMELL LEADERS DON’T CARE NOTHIN ABOUT WHAT MOMS THINK. TO U OF SMELL, TRAUMERTIZIN HIGH SCHOOL BOYS WITH VARICOSE VEIN SENIOR CITIZEN SLUTS IS CALLED REE-CRUITIN. HOW DID THEM OLD LADY FLOOSIES GIT UP TO THE SECOND FLOOR ON THEIR WALKERS? MUSTA BEEN THE MYSTERIOUS “COACH MIKE” WHO CARRIED EM UP THERE. LARRY, ALL U OF SMELL OFFICIALS TAWK ABOUT IS THEIRSELFS AND THEIR MISERY AND THEIR LOST MONEY AND THEIR PAIN.
MEMBER THE OTHER DAY WHEN THAT GUY FROM CHANNEL 3 AST SLICK RICK WHAT HE WAS TAKIN RESPONSIBILITY FOR AND SLICK GOT ALL MAD? THEY JUST FOUND THAT REPORTER FLOATIN IN THE RIVER THIS MARNIN. U OF SMELL IS A BUNCH OF GANGSTERS, LARRY, AND YOU IS A LOW LEVEL THUG THEY PROBLEE GONNA GRIND UP AND BURY LIKE JIMMY HOFFA. BUT THEIR DAYS OF TERRORIZIN THE REST OF THE CITY IS OVER. THE NC2A FINALLY UNDERSTANDS WHAT KENTUCKY FANS BEEN SAYING FOREVER: U OF SMELL IS SCUMBAG CITY AND NEEDS TO BE BULLDOZED AWAY FOR GOOD.
Michigan guard Trey Burke (3) walks off the court as confetti falls on Louisville players, including Russ Smith (2), Luke Hancock (11), Stephan Van Treese (44) and Zach Price (25), after the NCAA Final Four tournament college basketball championship game, Monday, April 8, 2013, in Atlanta. Louisville won 82-76. (AP Photo/Atlanta Journal-Constitution, Curtis Compton)
IF SLICK RICK WANTS TO FINALLY CHANGE HIS LIFE, HE GOTTA STOP ASTIN THE NC2A TO TAKE AWAY HIS SUSPENSION AND GIVE HIM BACK HIS FAKE NEWS CHAMPERCHIPS BANNER. HE GOT TO TRULY GIT HUMBLE AND ADMIT THE TRUTH. COME ON, SLICK. SAY IT OUT LOUD. SAY WHAT WE ALL BEEN WAITIN TO HEAR. ADMIT WHAT EVERBODY ELSE ALREADY KNOWS. COACH CAL IS YOUR MASTER AND U UH KAY IS THE GREATEST PROGRUM OF ALL TIME. SAY IT NOW.
UofL’s Lamar Jackson and UK’s John Calipari, December 12, 2016 in New York City
AND IF YOU REALLY WANT GOD TO FORGIVE YOU FOR ALL THE CRIMES AND SINS YOU COMMITTED THAT WE ALL KNOW YOU DONE DID, COME ON OUT OF YOUR GOLDEN TOWER OF UPPITYNESS AND LET ME SCRAPE THAT STUPID CARDINAL TATTOO OFF YOUR BACK. THAT TATTOO IS A LIE SO IT’S GOTTA GO.
MEET ME RIGHT NOW OVER AT PEP BOYS AND WE’LL TAKE A HANDFUL OF STEEL WOOL AND SCRAPE THAT UGLY LIE OFF YOUR BACK FOR GOOD! THE FIRST STEP IN REDEMPTION IS PAINFUL. BELIEVE ME, THAT STEEL WOOL AIN’T GONNA TICKLE BUT IT’S THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOUR LIFE OF DECEIT. SHOUT IT OUT, CAT FANS: SCRUB THAT TAT! SCRUB THAT TAT! SCRUB THAT TAT!
AND UNLOCK THE YUM YUM SO US CAT FANS CAN TAKE DOWN THAT BANNER. TAKE IT DOWN! TAKE IT DOWN! TAKE IT DOWN! GO BIG BLUE! GO BIG BLUE! GO BIG BLUE! OH, AND CONGRATS ON WINNING ONE BASEBAW GAME. THAT’S LIKE EATIN ONE SNICKERS BAR ON YOUR WAY TO THE GAS CHAMBER! YOU’RE DEAD, CARDINAL BIRDS!
THE BEASMAN the audit of uk dominance
OH, BIG WHOOPTY DO. U OF SMELL BASEBAW GOIN TO THE COLLEGE WORLD SERIOUS WHERE THE CROWD IS LESS THAN ONE TENTH OF THE BIG BLUE MADNESS CROWD. IS Y’ALL SNAGGLE TOOTH CARDINAL CONVICTS REALLY GONNA ACT LIKE YOU CARE ABOUT A STUPID BASEBAW GAME? IT’S NO WONDER THAT EVERBODY IN YOUR FILTHY GHETTO TOWN IS ON HEROIN CUZ GETTING HIGH IS THE ONLY WAY ANYBODY CAN SET THROUGH NINE INNINGS OF BORINGNESS.
THE ONLY SPORT THAT MATTERS IN THIS STATE IS BASKETBAW AND YOU KNOW IT, YOU PENCIL NECK, BAD BREATH, CROSS EYED CARDINAL BUTT KISSER. I’D RATHER KILL MYSELF THAN HAVE TO PRETEND LIKE BASEBAW IS INNERESTIN AND THAT’S HOW ALL OUR GOOD AND CLASSY WILDCAT FANS IS.
photo: Matt Stone, The Courier-Journal
THAT’S WHY THE WORLD SERIES IS IN OMAHA CUZ THAT’S THE MOST BORING CITY IN AMERICA. I HOPE YOUR WHOLE CARDINAL CARAVAN RUNS OFF THE ROAD SWERVIN TO MISS COWS IN DOWNTOWN OMAHA.
BASEBAW. WHAT A JOKE. WHAT Y’ALL GONNA BRAG ABOUT NEXT, BEATIN U UH KAY IN PING PONG? INSTEAD OF ACTIN LIKE YOU CARE ABOUT A GAME FROM THE CIVIL WAR DAYS, HOW ABOUT YOU AST YOURSELF WHY COACH CAL KEEPS DOMMERATIN SLICK RICK IN RECRUITIN YEAR AFTER YEAR AFTER YEAR? Y’ALL PAY HIM MILLIONS OF DOLLARS FOR FIRST ROUND FADE OUTS IN MARCH MADNESS WHILE COACH CAL TAKES THE CATS TO THE FINAL FOUR EVER YEAR! ADMIT IT, LARRY. YOUR GAY BOYFRIEND SLICK RICK IS WARSHED UP AND BOBBY PETRINKO DONE SPIT THE BIT LAST YEAR WHEN MR. HEISMAN TROPHY FUMBLED THE BAW AND LET U UH KAY HUMILERATE HIM. Y’ALL SUCK IN THE SPARTS THAT MATTER…BUT HEY! BASEBAW! OH WOWWWWWW! HOW BOUT Y’ALL SPEND THIS SUMMER GIVIN U OF SMELL WHAT IT REALLY NEEDS, A ENEMA TO GIT RID OF ALL THE THIEVES STEALING ALL THE FOUNDATION MONEY.
,
I BET Y’ALL GOT MORE FBI AGENTS ON CAMPUS THAN YOU GOT STUDENTS. THEM FBI AGENTS GONNA FIND THE GUY WHO NUKED THE PRESIDENT’S COMPUTER AND PUT HIM RIGHT IN PRISON NEXT TO BERNIE MADOFF. AND THAT LADY WHO SENT ALL THEM EMAILS SAYIN “HIDE THESE HERE EMAILS AND LET’S MAKE SURE THE MEDIA CAINT FIGGER OUT HOW MUCH MONEY WE IS STEALIN.” WOW! SHE’S A REAL GENIUS, TOO. I BETCHA SHE GOT A U OF SMELL DIPLOMA CUZ SHE’S CLEARLY AN IDIOT. WHAT IS WE GONNA FIND OUT NEXT, THAT U OF SMELL IS SIPHONIN OFF MONEY FROM THE BRIDGE TOLLS, PARKING METERS, AND CHURCH COLLECTION BASKETS?
IS YOU AND YOUR BOYFRIEND SLICK RICK GITTIN FREE RENT UP ON BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN? AIN’T NO MUCKETY MUCK FROM U OF SMELL CAN PAY FOR HIS DINNER CUZ WHEN HE REACHES FOR HIS WALLET HE REALIZES HE’S BEEN PICKPOCTED BY ONE OF THE OTHER UPSTANDING U OF SMELL MUCKETY MUCKS SETTIN AROUND THE TABLE.
YOU FIT RIGHT IN WITH THOSE CARDINAL THIEVES CUZ YOU BEEN EMBEZZLIN JOKES FOR YEARS. I HOPE THIS INVESTERGATION PROVES THAT YOUR STUPID RADIO SHOW IS GITTIN PAID OFF BY THE FOUNDATION TO PROMOTE U OF SMELL JUST LIKE CAPTAIN SUNTAN’S SHOW. THEN CLEAR CHANNEL GOTS TO FIRE YOU AND PUT MATT JONES ON IN YOUR PLACE. HE IS HILARIOUS! TODAY ON HIS RADIO SHOW HIM AND HIS CAST OF FANBOYS WAS SINGIN THE EN-TIRE U OF SMELL AUDIT REPORT TO THE TUNE OF “I BEEN WORKIN ON THE CHAIN GANG.” I LOVE IT.
There’s that no count, two bit, slick rick buttkissin, traitor turncoat, went to U uh Kay but cheers for U of Smell snuggle tooth fraud Larry Minner with The Beasman
COACH CAL, HE GOES TO MASS EVER DAY, HE SENT OUT A TWITTER TWAT THAT SAYS HE IS PRAYING FOR U OF SMELL TO SURVIVE CUZ YOU CARDINALS IS THE ONLY GUARANTEED VICTREE ON OUR SCHEDULE. THIS HERE AUDIT COMBINED WITH YOUR UPCOMING NC2A DEATH PENALTY SURE IS GOOD FOR BIDNIZ…THAT IS, IF YOU’S A BAIL BONDSMAN OR A FILTHY, LYIN, SOULESS DEE-FENSE ATTORNEY. ALL US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS IS GONNA KEEP A RUNNIN’ TALLY OF U OF SMELL LIES THIS SUMMER. AS SOON AS DR. RAMSEY PLEADS NOT GUILTY, WE CAN ALL SAY: “THERE’S THE FIRST ONE!” BY THE TIME ALL YOUR CRIMINAL CARDINAL LEADERS GET ARRESTED FOR STEALING AND PLEADIN NOT GUILTY, I BETCHA THE COUNT IS GONNA BE FARDY & OH! FARDY & OH! FARDY & OH! FARDY & OH!
UK and UofL played the opening of a best-of-three series while I was prepping to go on the radio so I had to write a script for either outcome.
Here’s the audio we used following U of L’s 5-2 victory in game one.
THE BEASMAN after UK baseball victory
AWWWWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! HOW BOUT THEM KENTUCKY WILDCATS, YOU SNAGGLE TOOTH SORE LOSER CARDINAL CRYBABY TRAITOR TURNCOAT! I TODE YOU THESE HERE WILDCATS WAS GONNA ROCK YOUR UNDERSIZE JOCKS, YOU BUNCH OF SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, NECK TATTOO, FLAT BILL, ROTGUT WHISKEY BREATH, SINFUL, GUN TOTIN, GRAMPA PUNCHIN CARDINAL THUGS. IT’S OVER FOR YOU PEOPLE, DON’T YOU SEE THAT? ALL THE WALLS IS FALLIN IN ON THE LITTLE CARDINAL BIRDS. THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS IS THIS STATE’S ONLY GREAT BASEBAW PROGRUM. I USED TO THINK BASEBAW WAS GAY BUT NOW THAT THE BIG BLUE CAN USE IT TO HUMILERATE Y’ALL STINKBREATH CARDINAL FRAUDS, I’M ALL ABOUT BASEBAW. I LAUGHED MYSELF SILLY TODAY WATCHIN ALL THEM UGLY CARDINAL FACES TURN SOUR WATCHING THEIR PRECIOUS CARDINAL FRAUDS GIT PUT IN THEIR PLACE BY THE MOST DOMMERATIN BASEBAW TEAM SINCE BABY RUTH WAS PLAYIN FOR THE NEW YARK GIANTS. THESE HERE WILDCATS AINT GOT NO QUIT IN ‘EM. WE IS THE CATS! WE IS THE BIG BLUE. Y’ALL IS JUST LITTLE BROTHER, WHINY, RUN-TO-MAMA AND CRY YOUR CROCODILE TEARS U OF SMELL FRAUDS. YOUR COACH WEARS THAT STUPID SALAD BOWL ON HIS HEAD INSTEAD OF A REAL BASEBAW HAT LIKE U UH KAY’S NEW EXCITING COACH NINJA. EVERBODY LOVES THE U UH KAY COACH CUZ HE’S FUNNY AND DON’T GIT ALL RATTLED LIKE YOUR U OF SMELL GUY WHO SHOULDA LEFT YEARS AGO TO GO TO A REAL SCHOOL. NOW AINT NOBODY WANTS HIM. AND DON’T SHOOT YOUR MOUTH OFF ABOUT HOW U OF SMELL CAN JUST WIN ON SAIRDEE AND SUNDEE CUZ YOU AND ME BOTH KNOW THAT AINT HAPPENIN. STICK A FARK IN THE DEAD CARDINAL BIRD CUZ HE’S DONE. D-U-N-E DONE! AND THAT AIN’T THE ONLY HAPPY NEWS US CAT FANS GOT!
THE BEASMAN after UK loses to UofL
(snifflin) S-S-S-S-STOP YOUR SMIRKIN, LARRY MINNER. YOU AIN’T POSED TO LAUGH AT NOBODY ELSE’S PAINFUL TIMES. BUT THERE YOU ARE, SLICK RICK’S BOYFRIEND LAUGHIN WHILE US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS IS HURTIN REAL BAD. THIS ONE STINGS BAD…REAL BAD! THEM KENTUCKY WILDCATS SHOULDA BEAT THEM U OF SMELL FRAUDS BUT (cry) SOMEHOW THEM LYIN, CHEATIN, FLATBILL HAT FILTHY CARDINAL BIRDS COME OUTTA THERE WITH A VICTREE. I BETCHA THAT HOME PLATE UMPIRE WAS RELATED TO HIGGINS THE REFFERMARIE WE THREATENED TO KILL AFTER NARTH CARAMALINER KNOCKED US OUTTA MARCH MADNESS! AND NOW THIS STUPID GAY BASEBAW THING AINT GONNA BE EASY A-WINNIN THE NEXT TWO FOR U UH KAY CUZ WE GOT TO STAY OVERNIGHT IN YOUR GHETTO TOWN.
AIN’T NONE OF OUR PLAYERS CAN GIT NO REST CUZ THEY IS ALL SLEEPIN ON THE FLOOR UNDER THEIR BEDS AFRAID THEY GONNA GIT SHOT IN THIS VIOLENT TOWN OF THUGS. OUR GOOD AND CLASSY WILDCAT PLAYERS COULDN’T GIT FOCUSED IN THE GAME TODAY CUZ THEY DINT KNOW WHEN A PACK OF TEENAGE THUGS MIGHT RUN ON THE FIELD AND ROB EM OR SHOOT EM IN THIS WAR ZONE GHETTO TRASH TOWN. THE U UH KAY COACH SAID HE WOULD RATHER PLAY IN SYRIA THAN IN LOSERVILLE. BUT NAW, THE NC2A SAID WE GOT TO GIT IN OUR ARMOR-PLATED TEAM BUS AND RIDE INTO LOSERVILLE AND SPEND THE NIGHT HERE INSTEAD OF GOIN BACK TO LEXINUN WHERE WE ONLY HAVE ABOUT ONE KILLING A DAY INSTEAD OF ONCE PER HOUR IN LOSERVILLE. SO WE IS TOO SKEERED TO FOCUS ON BASEBAW. OUR TEAM TRAINERS BROUGHT TOE TAGS AND BODY BAGS JUST IN CASE. THIS FILTHY AINT FIT FOR RATS TO SURVIVE BUT SOMEHOW YOU DO, YOU SLICK RICK BUTTKISSIN, SNAGGLE TOOTH, TRAITOR TURNCOAT FRAUD. GO AHEAD AND HAVE YOU GIGGLES ABOUT BASEBAW CUZ US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS GOT LOTS OF OTHER U OF SMELL TROUBLES TO LAUGH ABOUT.
(second half to work either way the baseball game comes out)
EVER KENTUCKY WILDCAT FAN STAYED UP LAST NIGHT READIN THE U OF SMELL AUDIT LIKE IT WAS A VALENTIME FOM COACH CAL. I’D LIKE GIVE A BIG WET KISS TO THE AUDITOR WHO CHURNED OUT THAT 137 PAGE MASTERPIECE. SHOCKER! U OF SMELL LEADERS WAS STEALING ALL THE FOUNDATION MONEY TO TREAT THEIRSELFS! DADGUMMIT! U OF SMELL IS THE BERNIE MADOFF OF COLLEGE INVESTORS! FOR EVER CHARITY DOLLAR THAT COME IN, THE U OF SMELL LEADERS WOULD STEAL TWO! LARRY, YOUR PRECIOUS CARDINAL BIRDS IS BEING RUN BY A BAND OF PIRATES THAT WOULD MAKE THE MAFIA BLUSH. MILLIONS OF DOLLARS IS MISSING. THEY WAS BUYIN BUILDINGS AND RENTIN TO THEIR FRIENDS FOR POCKET CHANGE. THEY WAS FUNNELIN MONEY THROUGH FAKE ACCOUNTS TO PAY THEIRSELFS BONUS RETIREMENT MONEY, AND EVEN SELLIN THEIR BASKETBAW AND FOOTBAW TICKETS AND NOT REPORTIN THE INCOME. I HOPE THE I.R.S. SHOWS UP WITH A DOUBLE DECKER PADDY WAGON TO GIT EM ALL! LOCK EM UP! OH, LARRY. AIN’T NO RESPECTACLE COMPANY NEVER EVER EVER GONNA DONATE TO LOSERVILLE AGAIN. OL TOMMY TURTLENECK AND YOUR BOYFRIEND SLICK RICK GONNA HAVE TO HOLD BAKE SALES TO MAKE GAS MONEY FOR YOUR TEAM BUS.
NO MORE PRIVATE JET FLYIN FOR THEM CARDINAL TEAMS. Y’ALL GONNA HAVE TO GO GREYHOUND WHILE THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS WILL KEEP FLYIN IN FIRST CLASS STYLE. THE CATS PLAYERS WILL BE EATIN STEAK DINNERS AND POOR BROKE DOWN U OF SMELL PLAYERS WILL HAVE TO EAT BEEF JERKY AND STALE SODA POP FOR SUPPER. AND YOU STILL GOT THE DEATH PENALTY COMN FROM THE NC2A ANY DAY NOW! TAKE THAT BANNER DOWN, YOU CHEATIN FRAUDS! TAKE IT DOWN! TAKE IT DOWN! AND JUST TO PILE ON, COACH CAL SIGNED UP TO BE THE COACH OF THAT ALL-STAR TEAM THAT ROMEO LANKFORD IS TRYIN TO MAKE. I BETCHA COACH CAL GONNA SNARE HIM OUT FROM UNDER SLICK RICK’S NOSE JUST LIKE HE DONE MARQUIS TEAGUE, WHO TURNT OUT TO BE A CRUMMY PLAYER. BUT COACH CAL TOOK HIM JUST CUZ SLICK RICK THOUGHT HE HAD HIM IN THE BAG.
I BETCHA IN TWO WEEKS WHEN U OF SMELL GOT THE DEATH PENALTY AND NO MONEY TO BUY FOOD, I BETCHA THAT 5-STAR BRIAN BOWEN GONNA BEG COACH CAL TO BE A WILDCAT! DON’T U OF SMELL GOT TO SELL THAT SINFUL STRIPPER DARM FOR PUNISHMENT? YEP! MAKE THEM U OF SMELL BASKETBAW PLAYERS SLEEP IN THE COUNTY JAIL. THAT’S GONNA BE THEIR PERMANENT HOME SOMEDAY ANYWAY SO THEY MIGHT AS WELL GIT USED TO IT! I LOVE IT! BEIN A CAT FAN MEANS ALWAYS LAUGHIN WHEN U OF SMELL IS FAILIN! Ls DOWN! Ls DOWN! Ls DOWN! CATS! CATS! CATS! FARDY & OH! FARDY & OH! FARDY & OH!
BONUS: Glen Campbell’s “Arkansas Farmboy”
THE BEASMAN baseball frenzy
HEY LARRY, YOU GOT A MINUTE TO TAWK TO ME OR IS YOU STILL ON THE OTHER LINE TELLING YOUR BOYFRIEND SLICK RICK THAT YOU LOVE HIM AND WANT TO HAVE HIS BABY? (laffs) COME ON, LAUGH A LITTLE BIT, LARRY. THIS WILL BE THE ONLY JOSHIN YOU GONNA GIT TO DO THIS WEEK CUZ YOU AND ALL YOUR SNAGGLE TOOTH, NECK TATTOO, BEER BREATH, SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, RANDOM MURDERIN’ U OF SMELL CARDINAL FANS IS ABOUT TO GIT YOUR JOCK ROCKED BY THE BIG BLUE KENTUCKY WILDCAT BASEBAW TEAM!
Lexington Herald Leader photo
I KNOW I CALLED YOU TWO WEEKS AGO AND SAID THAT BASEBAW WAS GAY AND Y’ALL ONLY ACT LIKE YOU CARE ‘BOUT BASEBAW CUZ YOU KNOW THE WILDCATS IS BETTER’N YOU IN FOOTBAW AND BASKETBAW. BUT NOW THAT THE CATS IS IN THE SUPER REGIONAL, BASEBAW IS COOL! AWWWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! WE IS BETTER THAN BABE RUTH, YOGI BEAR, DEREK JETER, AND A-ROD ALL COMBINED, DADGUMMIT! NOW THAT KENTUCKY IS IN IT, DON’T BE BUSPRISED IF A LOT OF OTHER TEAMS FARFIT. THAT’S HOW MUCH U UH KAY SCARES ALL THE OTHER ONES.
Lexington Herald Leader photo
YOU FILTHY CARDINAL BIRDS DONE HAD A LITTLE LUCK OVER THE PAST FEW YEARS BUT THAT’S BECAUSE THE A.C.C. IS WEAK SAUCE AND CAINT COMPARE TO THE SUPERIOR S.E.C. BYE, BYE N.C. STATE. YOU JUST GOT CRUSHED BY S.E.C. SUPERSTAR WILDCATS! AND THESE CATS DINT HAVE TO CHEAT LIKE LOSERVILLE DOES. Y’ALL PROLLY STOLE EVERBODY’S PLAYBOOK TO CHEAT BUT YOU CAINT STEAL U UH KAY’S PLAYBOOK CUZ WE DON’T USE ONE. NAW. THE U UH KAY BASEBAW PLAYERS JUST GIT UP THERE AND SWING FOR THE FENCE EVER TIME. WE GIT MORE HOMERS THAN A DICK VITALIS IMPRESSIONATION CONTEST.
LARRY, I WANNA SET NEXT TO YOU FOR THE FIRST GAME THIS WEEK. EVER TIME U UH KAY GITS A HIT OR THROWS U OF SMELL OUT, I WANNA LICK MY FINGER AND STICK IT IN YOUR EAR AND SAY “WHAT YOU GONNA DO NOW, GAY BOY?” BY THE THIRD INNING, YOU GONNA BE LEAVIN IN TEARS, RUNNIN ON HOME TO CRY ON BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND SLICK RICK.
I HEARED THAT INNERVIEW YOU DONE WITH HIM YESTERDEE. SO PATHETIC. YOU AND SLICK GIGGLE LIKE LITTLE GIRLS. ONE MINUTE Y’ALL TAWKIN ABOUT YOUR SUPPOSUBLY 5-STAR RECRUIT – WHAT A JOKE THAT IS – AND THE NEXT MINUTE YOU AND SLICK IS TAWKIN ABOUT HIS OLD MAN BASKETBAW LEAGUE AND HOW YOU MASSAGE HIS SORE MUSKELS. LIKE ANYBODY CARES! WHY DON’T YOU TELL THE TRUTH ABOUT HOW YOU MAGICALLY GIT SOME SUPPOSUBLY 5-STAR GUY RIGHT AFTER YOU SAID YOU WASN’T GONNA FILL THAT LAST SCHOLARSHIP! SOMETHING’S ROTTEN IN DENMARK, DADGUMMIT! IS U OF SMELL CHEATIN AGAIN?
Y’ALL GOT SOME NERVE, I TELL YOU WHAT! HERE YOU IS WAITIN ON THE NC2A TO HAND DOWN THE DEATH PENALTY FOR STRIPPERGATE AND Y’ALL IS ALREADY CHEATIN AGAIN! SUDDENLY A 5-STAR WHO CAINT FIND LOSERVILLE ON A MAP AND NOW HE MAGICALLY WANTS TO BE A CARDINAL BIRD. MAYBE WE NEED TO CHECK HIS DRIVEWAY FOR A NEW CAR OR SEE IF HIS MAMA IS GOIN ALL GEORGE JEFFERSON AND “MOVIN ON UP…TO THE EAST SIDE!” WELL, COACH CAL SAYS IT DON’T MATTER IS Y’ALL GOT ONE DECENT PLAYER. YOU STILL CAINT BEAT OUR BLESSED KENTUCKY WILDCATS TEAM WITH NINE MACDONALD ALL-AMERICANS!
Rick Pitino guarded by Danny DeVito’s doppleganger in the Masters Basketball Tournament in Coral Gables, Florida
COACH CAL – HE GOES TO MASS EVER DAY – I BETCHA HE PRAYED FOR GOD TO GIVE Y’ALL ONE GOOD PLAYER SO SLICK RICK WON’T QUIT AND OPEN UP THE JOB FOR A REAL COACH WHO AINT WARSHED UP. US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS WANT SLICK RICK THERE CUZ HE CAINT NEVER BEAT COACH CAL. THAT LAST GAME WAS FAKE NEWS CUZ HIGGINS WAS THE REFFERMARIE AND SO Y’ALL CAINT COUNT THAT AS A REAL WIN. U OF SMELL IS LIKE A CAT TOY IN FRONT OF SNARLIN’ WILDCAT. WE GONNA TEAR Y’ALL APART THIS WEEKEND, EVEN IF Y’ALL GIT THAT CHEATIN REFERMARIE HIGGINS TO BE THE HOME PLATE UMPIRE. THE CATS BATS IS GONNA PUT THE DOOM ON THE CARDINAL BLOOM.
IT’S OVER, U OF SMELLERS! THE ONLY OMAHA YOU CARDINAL FANS CAN GIT IS WATCHING OLD TIME PEYTON MANNING TAPES OR ARDERING A BOX OF OMAHA STEAKS. THE COLLEGE WORLD SERIOUS IS ABOUT TO GIT DOMMERATED BY THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS. BASEBAW JUST GOT COOL WITH THE NEW BLUE LOOK OF KENTUCKY! BRING ON THEM STINKY CARDINAL BIRDS! CATS IS GOIN FARDY & OH! FARDY & OH! FARDY & OH!
5-star forward Brian Bowen commits to UofL basketball, June 2017
University of Louisville basketball got a magnificent upgrade with a surprise commitment from 5-star forward Brian Bowen. Coach Rick Pitino admitted it was a great stroke of luck and upgrades his newly enforced team as “possibly a 10,” making a lofty reference to his 1996 Kentucky Wildcats talent pool.
Here’s our radio chat on Bowen’s talent, Pitino’s projection on the next UofL team’s upgraded chemistry, the Pitino geezer basketball team for next year, whether LeBron is overmatched in the NBA Finals, and more.
on the set of Great Day Live at WHAS-11 (2013)
Every week brings another act of terrorism against citizens in western countries. The latest is a van filled with men mowing down London Bridge pedestrians followed by random stabbings of pub patrons until police shot them dead.
You know these random mass killings around the world are your fault for loving your country, right?
Any white people that died in London tonight deserved it. They keep spewing they're filthy nationalistic bullshit… this is what they get.
— Eric Lifeson (@majorleaguenugt) June 4, 2017
Ignore the obvious. Keep telling yourself it’s not a problem. Resist reality.
And then there is Trump the Provocateur. His caustic tweets tend to stir up trouble before the victims’ are laid to rest.
MSNBC anchor: Is Trump "trying to provoke a domestic terrorist attack"? https://t.co/6HzMbogKQf pic.twitter.com/92SMLvarDZ
— The Hill (@thehill) June 5, 2017
Of course Trump doesn’t need any new domestic terrorism to solidify his hardline stance on immigration. San Bernadino, Times Square, Ft. Hood, Boston Marathon, and so many other intentional mass casualty tragedies validate the need for change.
It’s the methodology, not the messenger. Trump’s boorish behavior aside, a Democrat and Republican consensus strategy must develop to thwart terror or it will consume America.
That chick with the COEXIST bumper sticker believes that terrorism will stop because Ariana Grande will sing her way into jihadists’ hearts. Just don’t overreact, Love trumps hate.
Reality check: love doesn’t trump jihadists with vehicles in crowded places.
Why worry? You’re 32 and still living off daddy while demonizing him to your snowflake friends.
Someday daddy will be gone. But the jihadists won’t be. Good luck with that.
Maybe then daddy’s advice will start to make sense.
violence and destruction marred some of the DC protests on inauguration day 2017
Great to hear that The Eagles will continue working with the addition of Deacon Frey and Vince Gill.