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The photo above is not a woman. In 2019, women are warriors, scientists, and foulmouthed activists.

They’s woke. You gotta be woke, too. Who is DJ WOKE WOKE? We’ll never know if they are male, female, or the ever popular genderless status. But they woke!

Toxic masculinity is dead (except for the United States Marines because we need them to keep killing terrorists who would threaten our woke society). Don’t listen to those mamby-pamby mental health pros talking about The Boy Crisis.

Pay no heed to societal scientists who point out that trillions of taxpayer dollars spent since 1964 for The War on Poverty has produced…meh.

Female empowerment is ALL THAT MATTERS. Cue the recent song You Might Not Like Me! Or Cher singing This is a Woman’s World. Or Whitney wailing I’m Every Woman. Or go back 50 years for I am Woman, Hear Me Roar.

DJ WOKE WOKE hereby banishes the following misogynist, objectifying, soul-crushing imagery from the culture because women only dance for other sheroes and feminists, not for men.

Goodbye ZZ Top, Robert Palmer and all other white male oppressors of marginalized souls.

…and hey Bruce Springsteen, you’re not THE BOSS. Women are THE BOSS. If you ever pull another woman onstage without a signed consent form, you’ll face charges for sexual harassment, stalking, and repeat predatory behavior. We all remember how you made Wendy ride on the back of your Born to Run motorcycle when clearly she should have been in the driver’s seat.

The truth is that America has been woke since the 1960s civil rights movement. In 1963, the Equal Pay Act became federal law. If you’re not being paid the same as others yet you do the exact same work, you can file a federal lawsuit.

But complaining is always in style and each generation thinks it invented outrage. Whatevs, kids. Crack open a history book and learn perspective.

Go, Muffett, go! Your rant is the hit of this week even though you ignore the fact that women are the leaders in all of the fields that women typically gravitate towards. Even traditionally male STEM fields long ago reached parity and now have majorities of women in various scientific fields. Far more women than men are enrolled in college. Boys can’t read at the same level as girls. Males underperform in careers, are often separated from their children (which generates societal violence), and have much higher suicide rates.

Bottom line: everyone has challenges and everyone has opportunities. Life choices make the difference. What driven person can’t go to college? There are no locked doors at universities. The variable is motivation. If you can see it, you can be it.

Serena Williams is one of the most respected athletes in the world and has a net worth of approximately $180 million. She owns her own jet. Hard work brought her the success she enjoys. Serena’s performance numbers indicate that she could not beat any of the Top 100 men tennis players in the world. Very few of the Top 100 men own a jet.

Market forces determine how much money flows in any business, sports, non-profit, scientific organization. Here’s the money…how much can we pay out and still remain solvent?

The pay scale at Wimbledon is equal for women and men although other tour events pay different scales for athletes. It’s a matter of gross revenues. The public loves the NBA on a grand scale and the WNBA on a small scale. The gross revenues determine the money available to pay the talent.

Great seats for a Beyonce show cost much more than nearly every other music performer’s tickets. Market forces determine values.

Oprah has no earnings rival in the field of broadcasting. Market forces.

People pay big money to see the Fab Five women gymnastics heroes. The men can’t generate a speck of what the women attract. Market forces.

The new AAF football league shutdown after just a few months. Why? Because the public showed very little interest in what these men were offering. That’s economics, not sexism.

But if it makes the Muffett-minded feel good to squawk about phantom oppression, have at it. Do some research. Ask those female heroes Alexa and Siri for the facts. The Google machine is always there to assist whenever you realize that you are repeating history but acting as though you are making it.

Or you can hold vulgar signs in public places to feed the Instagram “look at me” narcissism that fuels society’s underperforming nitwit club.

dad. husband. observer. media personality. pathological flyer.