Please stop arguing about Louisville vs Kentucky or Kentucky vs Duke. When the Blue Devils play the Tarheels, it’s guaranteed gold.
Just for giggles, here’s the epic Tennessee victory over Kentucky in the SEC Tourney semifinal.
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The Catholic God is out to get Kentucky, can Coach Cal become a Protestant for better heavenly help?
THE BEASMAN I hate cathlicks
I HATE CATHLICKS LIKE YOU, LARRY MINNER. ALL YOUR FAKE RELIGION BUDDIES THINK YOU CAN JUST GO GIT DRUNK AT THE MARDI GRAS AND VOMIT ALL OVER THE PLACE AND THEN GO TO CONFESSION AND ALL YOUR SINS JUST GIT WIPED AWAY LIKE A ETCH-A-SKETCH. TELL THE TRUTH RIGHT NOW, YOU CATHLICK FRAUD. THEM NOTRE DAME PHONIES LAID DOWN AND JUST LET THE NOBODY CARDINALS BEAT ‘EM, RIGHT? ANDRE MCGEE PROBLEE GIVE A HUNK OF CASH TO THAT POPE FELLER! THAT’S HOW Y’ALL SINFUL CARDINAL BIRDS OPERATE.
YOU AND ALL THEM OTHER TOOTHLESS, BRAINLESS CARDINAL FANS MAKE ME SICK EVER TIME YOU MENTION THAT U UH KAY LOST. WE KNOW WE LOST, DADGUMMIT. YOU DON’T GOTTA KEEP SQUAWKIN ABOUT IT! YOU POSED TO SAY “GO CATS, BEAT MISTERSIPPI” BUT NAW, YOU STILL TAWKIN ABOUT THE TENNERSEE DEE-BOCKLE. WELL I SEEN YOU ON TV SETTIN THERE AT YESTERDEE’S U OF SMELL GAME WEARING THAT RED SHIRT AND CHEERING FOR THEM FILTHY CARDINAL BIRDS. YOU POSED TO BE OBJECTIFY IN THE MEDIA, LARRY MINNER, NOT NO CHEERLEADER FOR U OF SMELL.
Mark, Terry, and Mike Meiners (2019)
I’M GONNA FILE A COMPLAINT WITH THE FDIC TO GIT YOUR RADIO BROADCASTIGATOR LICENSED REVOKED, YOU BALD HAIRED FRAUD. THE ONLY BROADCASTIGATORS WHO IS ALLOWED TO CHEER FOR A TEAM IS ALL THE KENTUCKY WILDCAT LEXINUN MEDIA CUZ THE GUMMIT UNDERSTANDS THAT BIG BLUE NATION IS A IRRESTIBLE FORCE. SO MATT JONES AND OSCAR COMBS AND TOM BLEACH ALL GOT SPECIAL PERMISSION TO BE BIASED. BUT NOT YOU, BALDY. QUIT BOOTLICKIN THEM CRIMINAL CARDINALS, LARRY. IT’S A VIOLATION OF THE STATE LAW OF BROADCASTERGATIN.
Dwayne Sutton (24) and Jordan Nwora (33) defend against Notre Dame (March 3, 2019)
SAY “GO BIG BLUE” RIGHT NOW TO PROVE YOU AIN’T BIASED AGAINST THE CATS! (wait two seconds) SEE…YOU CAINT DO IT, YOU FRAUD. I’M GONNA TELL U UH KAY THAT WH&S IS TWO-TIMIN THE BIG BLUE CUZ THE CATS IS POSED TO BE YOUR PRIORITY TEAM. THEY NEED TO FIRE YOU AND LET SENATOR MATT JONES HAVE YOUR TIME SLOT, YOU CARDINAL FANBOY! U UH KAY COULD GIT YOU FIRED RIGHT NOW AND GROVER THE FAKE COP CAN EXCORT YOU OFF THE RADIO STATION PREMISES. MATT JONES WILL TELL THE REAL TRUTH ABOUT LOSERVILLE ON THE RADIO. THEN WH&S WOULD FINALLY BE A RADIO STATION FOR THE PEOPLE WHOSE MINDS AINT WARPED.
BIG BLUE PEOPLE IS GOOD CHRISTIANS WHO ACT DECENT AND LOSERVILLE FANS IS NECK TATTOO, RAP MUSIC, WELFARE CHEATIN, G.E.D. FLUNKIN’ CARDINAL CONVICTS. O.K. YOU GOT ONE VICTREE…Y’ALL IS STILL NOBODIES WHO OUGHT TO BE IN THE N.I.T. BUT I GUESS SINCE YOU BEAT THEM DRUNK CATHLICK NOTRE DAME LOSERS, NOW Y’ALL PROBLEE GONNA GIT IN TO MARCH MADNESS AS A #16 SEED. BIG WHOOPTY DO.
I’M SURE YOU AND YOUR CROSSEYED CARDINAL BUDDIES BEEN GIGGLIN CUZ U UH KAY LOST A CLOSE ONE TO TENNERSEE. DON’T GIT TOO WORKED UP, LARRY. LOSERVILLE BEAT A BUNCH OF STUPID BEER DRINKIN, ROSARY BEAD RUBBIN, BINGO PLAYIN FAKE RELIGION CATHLICK HEATHENS.
JUST WAIT TIL Y’ALL PLAY VIRGINNY IN A FEW DAYS. YOU GONNA GO RIGHT BACK INTO THE BUZZSAW OF NOBODYLAND. AND I AINT FORGOT THAT TENNERSEE GAME SO I’M MAD AT COACH CAL. I THINK CAL IS BOYFRIENDS WITH THAT TENNERSEE COACH NAME OF RICK BARNES. EVERBODY CAN SEE COACH CAL LAYS DOWN WHENEVER WE PLAY BARNES. THEM PRISON ARNGE WEARIN ROCKY TOP HILLBILLIES DON’T SESERVE TO BEAT THE CATS! WE IS KENTUCKY, DADGUMMIT! NOW THEY SAYS U UH KAY IS A #2 SEED! WHAT A INSULT!
LET’S GIT REX CHAMPMAN TO DO THE GAME COACHIN AND KEEP COACH CAL JUST FOR RECRUITIN ONE AND DONES AND THEN WE CAN BE A #1 SEED AGAIN! COACH CAL NEEDS TO STOP GOIN TO MASS EVER DAY CUZ PRAYIN TO THAT CATHLICK GOD AIN’T HELPIN THE CATS WIN AND IT AIN’T HELPIN NOTRE DAME BEAT THE LOWDOWN LOSERVILLE CARDINALS. FORGIT ABOUT MASS, COACH CAL. YOU NEED TO SWITCH TO THE GOOD KENTUCKY BABDIZ GOD LIKE ADOLPH RUPP AND ME PRAYED TO. THAT BABDIZ GOD GOT US ALL THEM BANNERS YOU SEE UP IN THE RUMP ARENER RAFTERS! NOW LET’S GO WIN THESE LAST TWO S.E.C. GAMES, GET OUR #1 SEED BACK, AND THEN RUMBLE THROUGH MARCH MADNESS LOOKIN TO KILL US SOME DOOKIES! WE IS U UH KAY! AWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS!
Chris Mack’s biggest win yet: UofL blasts North Carolina at their house
🎥 Rewind the highlights from the 83-62 victory vs. North Carolina ⤵️ pic.twitter.com/5JMUZDJMQY
— Louisville Basketball (@LouisvilleMBB) January 12, 2019
There is euphoria in Card Nation. The University of Louisville basketball team just pummeled the #12 ranked North Carolina Tar Heels in Chapel Hill. It is the first time Louisville has ever beaten UNC at their facility.
This game was so out of control that ESPN switched away with 4 minutes left to catch the opening tip of Duke vs Florida State. Just another Louisville boot stomp dominating performance that becomes tiresome to the national audience. (I kid!).
For first year Louisville coach Chris Mack, it is a stamp of validation after a tough loss to Kentucky and a head scratching loss to woeful Pittsburgh. This victory over UNC is the bookend to an early season takedown of #9 Michigan State.
The first shocker is considered somewhat lucky. The second one validates the coach.
Welcome to the University of Louisville, Chris Mack.
Chris Mack celebrates with his UofL team after thumping UNC
Jordan Nwora gets the job done
Stephen Enoch had the signature slam.
Dick Vitale jabs UCLA for declining a chance to hire Rick Pitino, internet mob piles on
Yes @Rick_Pitino was wanted by many boosters but administration @UCLA said NO ! No doubt he would have brought national SUCCESS to Bruins & would have given them STAR BILLING to compete for the entertainment dollar in Hollywood!
— Dick Vitale (@DickieV) January 10, 2019
Famed broadcaster and former coach Dick Vitale took a swipe at UCLA administrators for making a hard pass at the option to hire Rick Pitino to replace ousted coach Steve Alford.
Vitale used the wrong Pitino twitter handle (@realPitino) so it is unlikely that the former Kentucky and Louisville coach will even see it.
Checking the Vitale tweet’s reply thread, no one seems to be in a forgiving mood regarding Pitino’s rocky ride at the University of Louisville. Here’s a sampling:
Whether or not Pitino was aware of the misdeeds of his assistant coaches, basketball fandom remains fully aware.
No PRIME TIME PLAYIN’ for Ricky P in America just yet. But he continues working in Greece and posting podcasts with the voices of his basketball allies.
For the last episode of season 1 of The Pitino Press, I had Jim Boeheim, @Cuse_MBB Hall of Fame coach and close friend. https://t.co/P7q17ePSEL
— Rick Pitino (@RealPitino) January 9, 2019
David Padgett on this year’s Cardinals, Chris Mack, Pitino in Greece, and the new Padgett basketball camps
Ryan McMahon with Louisville interim head coach David Padgett (2018)
Former University of Louisville basketball star and interim head coach David Padgett popped onto the radio to share his views on this season’s Cardinals, the progress of his former players, new head coach Chris Mack, how Pitino in Greece makes sense, and the new Padgett basketball camps.
Great insights from a guy who played, became an assistant coach, and then led the Cardinals to a decent season in the midst of turmoil. As for Pitino now coaching in Greece, have a look for yourself.
Rick Pitino is not messing around!#GameON pic.twitter.com/jeDCSLoPVj
— EuroLeague (@EuroLeague) December 28, 2018
Griff breaks down Chris Mack’s Cards, Donovan’s Jazz, and NBA dreams
Darrell Griffith, December 3, 2018
Darrell “Doctor Dunkenstein” Griffith popped into the radio station to throw love at new University of Louisville basketball coach Chris Mack. Griff says Mack’s style offers players more creativity to improvise, a definite change from Rick Pitino’s more deliberate style.
Griffith also talked about the tedious tasks ahead for UofL football coach Scott Satterfield, the amazing artistry of Donovan Mitchell, and the cushy life of Utah Jazz players compared to his era.
Salt Lake City’s growth since Griffith’s playing days amaze the former Jazz star. He says Louisville would prosper immeasurably by snaring an NBA franchise, a campaign impeded by Pitino and former UofL athletics director Tom Jurich.
Darrell also talked about his new restaurant Griff’s, now open at 2nd and Liberty Streets just across from the Omni. Early reviews are very strong.
Donovan Mitchell wins 2018 NBA all star weekend dunk competition wearing a Darrell Griffith jersey
Duke trounces Kentucky: it’s God’s fault
THE BEASMAN duke trounces cats
(crying) D-D-D-D-DADGUM D-D-D-DOOKIES! (crying) WH-WH-WHAT IN THE S-S-S-SAM HILL IS C-C-C-COACH CAL DOIN? RATFACE MIKE SHIT-SHETSKI WAS GRINNIN LIKE A CHESTER CAT CUZ HE KNOWS HE GOT LUCKY LAST NIGHT. (crying) I WAS BITIN MY PILLER ALL NIGHT WONDERIN HOW ALL THESE GOOD AND CLASSY WILDCAT UPPERCLASSMEN GOT THEIR JAW JACKED BY A BUNCH OF YOUNG PUNK D-D-D-DOOKIE FRESHMANS. (crying)
WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR VET-TRENS? IS THEY A BUNCH OF CANDY APPLE SISSIES WHO DON’T DEE-SERVE TO WEAR THE KENTUCKY UNI-FARM? DADGUMMIT, THE GHOST OF CHRISTIAN LAETTNER GOT US AGAIN.
HOW DID THEM DUKE PUNKS BEAT, KICK, AND PULVERIZE US LIKE A BUNCH OF STREET THUGS IN A ANGELA LEET TV COMMERCIAL? WE GOT MURDERED, LARRY MINNER! THEY HAD TO PUT PO-LEECE TAPE AROUND THE U UH KAY TEAM BUS CUZ IT LOOKED LIKE A CRIME SCENE. (crying) U UH KAY IS CURSED AGAINST THESE FILTHY, RICH BOY, SMARTY PANTS D-D-D-DOOKIE DOUCHE NOZZLES. IT’S GOD’S FAULT, TOO. COACH CAL PRAYS TO THAT FAKE CATHLICK GOD WHO DON’T DEE-LIVER FOR THE CATS. WE GOTTA GIT COACH CAL BAB-TIZED AS A BABDIZ AND SO THEN THE REAL PROTESTANT GOD WILL HELP U UH KAY, NOT NO FAKE BEER DRINKIN, DANCIN, BINGO PLAYIN CATHLICK GOD.
WAKE UP, COACH CAL, OR WE’LL RUN YOU OFF LIKE WE DONE TO TUBBY. NO MORE CATHLICK PRAYIN FOR A BABDIZ STATE OF KENTUCKY OR ELSE THE REAL GOD GONNA KEEP SMITIN US! (crying) HOW CAN (crying) HOW CAN THE C-C-C-C-CATS LOSE BY 34 POINTS, DADGUMMIT? I WAS LIKE ELVIS AND SHOT OUT THE TV SET (crying) WHICH IS BAD CUZ I WAS WATCHIN AT MY BUDDY’S HOUSE. NOW I GOT TO GO DOWN TO K-MART AND GIT HIM ANOTHER TV SO HIS OLD LADY CAN WATCH “THE VIEW.”
I BETCHA OL WHOOPIE GOLDBERG WAS MAKIN FUN OF THE CATS TODAY CUZ SHE DONE SAID SHE’D LIKE TO MAKE THE TWO BACK BEAST WITH THAT DUKE PLAYER ZEE-ONN WILLIAMSTON. (crying) ZEE-ON WAS POSED TO COME TO KENTUCKY BUT NIKE PAID HIM MORE TO GO TO DUKE! THIS HERE IS HARRIBLE, LARRY.
ONE WEEK AGO, ALL US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS WAS SO HAPPY MAKIN FUN OF LOSERVILLE FOOTBAW AND TAWKIN ABOUT STOOPS TROOPS GONNA TAKE ON BAMA FOR THE S.E.C. CHAMPERCHIP. (crying) NOW STOOPS WORRYIN ABOUT LOSIN TO NOBODY TENNERSEE AND COACH CAL GOT HIS BUTT WHOOPED LIKE A BOY WHO STOLE MONEY FROM HIS MAMA’S PURSE. (crying)
YOU GO AHEAD AND SMIRK, YOU CARDINAL CONVICT, SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, NECK TATTOO, CASHIN FOOD STAMPS FOR METH, GODLESS, BRAINLESS, SPINELESS, HOPELESS U OF SMELL CARDINAL DUMPSTER FIRE…US GOOD AND CLASSY CATS IS STILL COMIN FOR YOU IN A FEW WEEKS AND IT AIN’T GONNA BE PURDY! (crying) I F-F-F-FEEL LIKE BURNIN A COUCH WITH COACH CAL STILL SETTIN ON IT! (crying) THIS HERE IS A KENTUCKY TRAGEDY! WE AIN’T PERFECK AFTER ALL. FARDY & OH MINUS ONE! FARDY & OH MINUS ONE! FARDY & OH MINUS ONE! THE ONLY BLUE WAVE TURNT OUT TO BE A DUKE BLUE DEVIL WAVE. STOP TARMINTIN US, GOD! WE IS KENTUCKY!
Beasman calls best team, Krzyzewski face, UofL fan necks: Cats, rats, and tats
THE BEASMAN cats lose but loserville slaughtered
DON’T YOU EVEN START IN ON ME ABOUT U UH KAY LOSING, YOU CROSS-EYED, BUCK TEETH, BALD HAIR, STINKBREATH U OF SMELL APOLOGIST. DADGUMMIT, YOUR FILTHY CARDINAL CONVICTS LOST BY 400 POINTS, THE WORST BEATDOWN IN U OF SMELL HISTREE BUCEPT FOR THAT TIME IN WORLD WAR TWO THE JAPPER-NESE BOMBED CARDINAL STADIUM.
Y’ALL CARDINAL FANS OUGHT TO RISE UP AND THROW BOBBY PETRINKO OUT IN THE STREET AND CHASE HIM OUTTA TOWN LIKE U UH KAY DONE TO BILL CURRY, JERRY CLAIBONE, RICH BROOKS, HAL DUMMY, GUY MORRIS, AND THE JOKER. DON’T Y’ALL CARDINAL IDIOTS KNOW HOW TO FIRE A FOOTBAW COACH? YOU JUST MOVE HIS OFFICE TO THE TARLIT ROOM AND TELL HIM HE GOTTA START WARSHIN THE JOCK STRAPS.
THEN YOU TELL HIM THE NEPPER-TISM RULE KICKED IN AND SO HE GOTTA FIRE ALL HIS RELLER-TIVES ON THE PAYROLL. BOBBY PETRINKO GOT ABOUT 200 RELATIVES ALL DRAWING A PAYCHECK SO CUT ‘EM ALL OFF AND THEN THEY’LL LEAVE TOWN LIKE A PACK OF GYPSIES CHASIN A CIRCUS. (laffs)
YOU BUNCH OF CARDINAL IDIOTS AIN’T NEVER GONNA GIT YOUR FOOTBAW TEAM BACK TO RECEPTACKLE-BILITY. JUST THINK, A FEW YEARS AGO Y’ALL ACTUALLY WON THE ARNGE BO. NOW YOU COULDN’T GIT INVITED TO THE ARNGE VOMIT BO. (laffs) BOBBY PETRINKO AIN’T EVEN TRYIN NO MORE. HE JUST GOT WHOOPED 77-16 AND SPENT SUNDEE SETTIN IN A EASY CHAIR COUNTIN HIS MONEY AND LAUGHIN. (laffs) LARRY, WHY DON’T Y’ALL RAISE THE MONEY TO BUY HIM OUT?
I BETCHA KATINA POWELL COULD PUT ON A NASTY DANCIN SHOW AT THE TOY TIGER AND RAISE MILLIONS OF ONE DOLLAR BILLS. JUST GIT ANDRE MCGEE TO PRESSURE WARSH THEM DOLLARS CUZ THE BANK DON’T TAKE NO SKANK! (laffs)
OH LARRY, LARRY, LARRY. YOU GOTTA BE SICK TO YOUR STOMACH KNOWIN THAT THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS IS STILL TOP 12 IN FOOTBAW AND TOP 2 IN BASKETBAW. WE GOT THEM ROTTEN DUKIES COMIN UP AND THAT WILL PROVE THE CATS GREATNESS! COACH CAL SAID HE HOPES HIS YOUNG BASKETBAW TEAM CAN SCORE AS MANY POINTS AS CLEMSON FOOTBAW PUT UP ON LOSERVILLE! (laffs)
LARRY, I SEEN YOUR BALD HAIRED TWIN CHRIS MACK OUT THERE ACTIN LIKE BEATING RUSSELL SIMMONS COLLEGE WAS SOME KIND OF BIG DEAL. (laffs) OH WOW! YOU JUST BEAT A SCHOOL WITH 49 TOTAL STUDENTS, AND MOST OF THEM ARE OVER AGE 50. NICE ACCOMPLISHMENT, LOSERVILLE. THE SIMMONS COLLEGE TEAM PITCHER LOOKED LIKE AN AARP NEWSLETTER. (laffs)
WHEN Y’ALL GONNA PLAY DUKE? LET’S SEE WHO GONNA DO GOODER AGAINST CHEATIN COACH K AND HIS BAND OF MONEY GRUBBIN RECRUITS. ONLY KENTUCKY WILDCATS REFUSE TO TAKE MONEY, ACCORDING TO COACH CAL, WHO GOES TO MASS EVER DAY. ALL THEM OTHER SCHOOLS IS TURNIN A BLIND EYE TO SHOE COMPANIES GIVIN FAMILIES MONEY.
Terry Meiners with Bob Ley on Outside the Lines, ESPN, October 2017
U OF SMELL GOT CAUGHT AND NOW YOUR BOYFRIEND SLICK RICK CAINT FIND WORK. IS HE LIVIN IN YOUR BASEMENT NOW, LARRY? TOO BAD, SO SAD! NO SLICK RICK TO KICK AROUND NO MORE. HE DINT EVEN SHOW UP FOR THE BREEDERS CUP CUZ AIN’T NOBODY WANTS HIM BACK IN LOSER-TOWN. (laffs) MEANTIME, ALL EYES IS ON THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS AS WE TAKE DOWN TWO ENEMAS THIS WEEK: DUKE IN BASKETBAW AND TENNERSEE IN FOOTBAW! THE ONLY THING U OF SMELL CAN TAKE DOWN IS BANNERS! (laffs)
I LOVE IT! AWWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! AND MIKE SHIT-SHETSKI’S FACE LOOKS LIKE RATS! RATS! RATS! AND U OF SMELL FAN’S NECKS IS FILLED WITH TATS! TATS! TATS! (laffs) GO CATS! GO BLUE! AWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS!
Expect a wild ride in the Rick Pitino book coming next month
Former University of Louisville basketball coach Rick Pitino has promised to go after the three people he says got him fired. In his forthcoming book, Pitino has promised to tell “the real story” of his removal and the dismissal of athletics director Tom Jurich.
Pitino blames the school’s “board of traitors” (trustees), especially chairman David Grissom, trustee “Papa John” Schnatter, and interim school president Dr. Greg Postel. The former coach also says his book “will not be kind” to Kentucky Governor Matt Bevin.
Pitino and I will discuss his book on WHAS radio in a few weeks. Follow me on Twitter @terrymeiners for show updates.
Cats lose. Beasman wants Coach Cal fired and that rotten Sister Jean excommunicated
THE BEASMAN cats lose
(cry) I WOULDN’T A-SHOOK THEIR HANDS, NEITHER. BUNCH OF STREET THUG, SCRAPPING, LYIN, CHEATING, BRASS KNUCKLE, CAT O NINE TAILS, BASEBAW BAT SWINGING, PUNK, HIPPIE, SNOWFLAKE, M.M.A., FACE KICKIN, NOBODY, KANSAS WHEAT FIELD TRASH.
(cry) I AIN’T SLEPT A DADGUM WINK, LARRY MINNER. THIS CAINT BE REAL. (cry)
WE IS THE CATS! AIN’T NOBODY POSED TO PUSH US AROUND AND DO ALL THAT BALL SLAPPIN, REACH-IN, SHAWNEE PARK DIRT BOWL, RUMBLIN’, GUN TOTIN, DRIVE-BY SHOOTIN, NECK TATTOO, 8-ON-5, GANG BANG, BRAWLER BALLIN AGAINST THE GOOD AND CLASSY KENTUCKY WILDCATS! WHO DO THEY THINK THEY IS, SOME PRISON PLAYGROUND TEAM?
(cry) THEM REFFERMARIES WAS LETTIN THEM KANSAS STATE THUGS CLAW AWAY AT OUR HANDSOME, GOD-FEARIN, MAMA-LOVIN, PURDY, GRACEFUL, HIGH-STEPPIN, SMOOTH SAILIN, WORLD CLASS KENTUCKY WILDCATS!
I KNOW THEY CALLED 30 FOULS ON THEM BUT THEY SHOULDA CALLED A HUNDERD THIRTY FOULS ON ‘EM…IN THE FIRST HALF! (cry) AND NOW IT’S ALL OVER. I BET CBS IS GONNA CANCEL THE REST OF THE TOURNEYMINT CUZ AIN’T NOBODY GONNA WATCH WITHOUT NO KENTUCKY WILDCATS PLAYIN IN IT. MARCH MADNESS IS NOW LESS POP-A-LAR THAN WATCHING PING PONG ON EXPN AT 3 O’CLOCK IN THE MARNIN. RATINGS GO IN THE TARLIT.
CAT FANS IS ALL DRIVIN HOME FROM CATLANTA ON FLOODED HIGHWAYS FILLED WITH TEARS OF CAT FANS ROLLIN OUT OF THE PICKUP TRUCKS AND RUSTY R.V.s. (cry) WHO WANTS TO LIVE IN A WORLD LIKE ISS? COACH CAL IS A FAILURE AGAIN.
HE GITS THE #1 RECRUITIN CLASS YEAR AFTER YEAR AND ALL WE DO IS FIZZLE OUT COME MARCH MADNESS! COACH CAL SHOULDA HAD 9 CHAMPERCHIPS BY NOW, BUT ALL HE GOT IS A MEASLY ONE AND THE F.B.I. IS MAKIN THAT ONE LOOK SHAKY. (cry)
I GUESS COACH CAL IS THE LINDSEY VONN OF COACHES. HE LOOKS GOOD COMIN OUT THERE BUT THEN HE WINDS UP SNAPPIN HIS LEG LIKE A PRETZEL ONCE THE GAME GITS STARTED. HE DON’T KNOW HOW TO COACH! THAT MUST BE WHY HE GOES TO MASS EVER DAY – TO ASK GOD TO TEACH HIM HOW TO COACH.
Sister Jean Dolores-Schmidt celebrates (Photo by Tom Pennington/Getty Images)
AND NOW YOU KNOW GOD IS GONNA SEE TO IT THAT SMART ALECK OLD NUN IS GONNA WIN IT ALL. I SEEN HER ON THERE GRINNIN ALL NIGHT WHILE U UH KAY WAS LOSIN. HER ONLY JOB IS TO PRAY ALL DAY SO NATURALLY GOD GONNA BUTTER HER BISCUIT MORE THAN COACH CAL. THEY TELL ME HE GOES TO MASS EVER DAY BUT I HEARD HE SLEEPS THROUGH MOST OF IT. WELL NOW ALL US CAT FANS AIN’T GONNA SLEEP NO MORE TIL NEXT SEASON GITS HERE AND WE GIT TRICKED BY COACH CAL’S FOOL’S GOLD ONE MORE TIME. (cry) I KNOWED IT WAS A BAD SIGN WHEN RICHIE FARMER GOT ARRESTED ON U UH KAY’S GAME DAY.
THEN ASHLEY JUGGS SHOWED UP AND BROUGHT HER BAD MOJO. SHE AIN’T HAD A HIT MOVIE SINCE THAT SHARK ATE HER RIGHT AT THE BEGINNING OF “JAWS.” WE GOT TO CHANGE IT ALL UP, CAT FANS. LET’S GIT RID OF COACH CAL, HIRE KINNY SKY WALKER, GIT RID OF THEM DUMB CHECKERBOARD UNI-FARMS, AND WHEN THESE SHOE COMPANIES GIVE OUR PLAYERS’ FAMILIES A HUNDERD THOUSAND, MAKE ‘EM SIGN A CONTRACT TO PLAY AT LEAST THREE YEARS FOR THE CATS….AT A HUNDERD THOUSAND A YEAR, OF COURSE! (cry)
AND DADGUMMIT, DON’T TAKE NO TIME OFF. GIT OUT THERE AND TAKE A HUNDERD THOUSAND PRACTICE FREE THROWS, YOU BUNCH OF NITWITS! (cry)
