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Chris Mack’s biggest win yet: UofL blasts North Carolina at their house

Posted on January 12, 2019 by terrymeiners Posted in Uncategorized

🎥 Rewind the highlights from the 83-62 victory vs. North Carolina ⤵️ pic.twitter.com/5JMUZDJMQY

— Louisville Basketball (@LouisvilleMBB) January 12, 2019

There is euphoria in Card Nation. The University of Louisville basketball team just pummeled the #12 ranked North Carolina Tar Heels in Chapel Hill. It is the first time Louisville has ever beaten UNC at their facility.

This game was so out of control that ESPN switched away with 4 minutes left to catch the opening tip of Duke vs Florida State. Just another Louisville boot stomp dominating performance that becomes tiresome to the national audience. (I kid!).

For first year Louisville coach Chris Mack, it is a stamp of validation after a tough loss to Kentucky and a head scratching loss to woeful Pittsburgh. This victory over UNC is the bookend to an early season takedown of #9 Michigan State.

The first shocker is considered somewhat lucky. The second one validates the coach.

Welcome to the University of Louisville, Chris Mack.

Chris Mack celebrates with his UofL team after thumping UNC

Jordan Nwora gets the job done

Stephen Enoch had the signature slam.

Dick Vitale jabs UCLA for declining a chance to hire Rick Pitino, internet mob piles on

Posted on January 10, 2019 by terrymeiners Posted in Uncategorized

Yes @Rick_Pitino was wanted by many boosters but administration @UCLA said NO ! No doubt he would have brought national SUCCESS to Bruins & would have given them STAR BILLING to compete for the entertainment dollar in Hollywood!

— Dick Vitale (@DickieV) January 10, 2019

Famed broadcaster and former coach Dick Vitale took a swipe at UCLA administrators for making a hard pass at the option to hire Rick Pitino to replace ousted coach Steve Alford.

Vitale used the wrong Pitino twitter handle (@realPitino) so it is unlikely that the former Kentucky and Louisville coach will even see it.

Checking the Vitale tweet’s reply thread, no one seems to be in a forgiving mood regarding Pitino’s rocky ride at the University of Louisville. Here’s a sampling:

Whether or not Pitino was aware of the misdeeds of his assistant coaches, basketball fandom remains fully aware.

No PRIME TIME PLAYIN’ for Ricky P in America just yet. But he continues working in Greece and posting podcasts with the voices of his basketball allies.

For the last episode of season 1 of The Pitino Press, I had Jim Boeheim, @Cuse_MBB Hall of Fame coach and close friend. https://t.co/P7q17ePSEL

— Rick Pitino (@RealPitino) January 9, 2019

David Padgett on this year’s Cardinals, Chris Mack, Pitino in Greece, and the new Padgett basketball camps

Posted on January 3, 2019 by terrymeiners Posted in Uncategorized

Ryan McMahon with Louisville interim head coach David Padgett (2018)

Former University of Louisville basketball star and interim head coach David Padgett popped onto the radio to share his views on this season’s Cardinals, the progress of his former players, new head coach Chris Mack, how Pitino in Greece makes sense, and the new Padgett basketball camps.

Great insights from a guy who played, became an assistant coach, and then led the Cardinals to a decent season in the midst of turmoil. As for Pitino now coaching in Greece, have a look for yourself.

Rick Pitino is not messing around!#GameON pic.twitter.com/jeDCSLoPVj

— EuroLeague (@EuroLeague) December 28, 2018

Griff breaks down Chris Mack’s Cards, Donovan’s Jazz, and NBA dreams

Posted on December 5, 2018 by terrymeiners Posted in Uncategorized

Darrell Griffith, December 3, 2018

Darrell “Doctor Dunkenstein” Griffith popped into the radio station to throw love at new University of Louisville basketball coach Chris Mack. Griff says Mack’s style offers players more creativity to improvise, a definite change from Rick Pitino’s more deliberate style.

Griffith also talked about the tedious tasks ahead for UofL football coach Scott Satterfield, the amazing artistry of Donovan Mitchell, and the cushy life of Utah Jazz players compared to his era.

Salt Lake City’s growth since Griffith’s playing days amaze the former Jazz star. He says Louisville would prosper immeasurably by snaring an NBA franchise, a campaign impeded by Pitino and former UofL athletics director Tom Jurich.

Darrell also talked about his new restaurant Griff’s, now open at 2nd and Liberty Streets just across from the Omni. Early reviews are very strong.

Donovan Mitchell wins 2018 NBA all star weekend dunk competition wearing a Darrell Griffith jersey

Duke trounces Kentucky: it’s God’s fault

Posted on November 7, 2018 by terrymeiners Posted in Uncategorized

THE BEASMAN duke trounces cats
(crying) D-D-D-D-DADGUM D-D-D-DOOKIES! (crying) WH-WH-WHAT IN THE S-S-S-SAM HILL IS C-C-C-COACH CAL DOIN? RATFACE MIKE SHIT-SHETSKI WAS GRINNIN LIKE A CHESTER CAT CUZ HE KNOWS HE GOT LUCKY LAST NIGHT. (crying) I WAS BITIN MY PILLER ALL NIGHT WONDERIN HOW ALL THESE GOOD AND CLASSY WILDCAT UPPERCLASSMEN GOT THEIR JAW JACKED BY A BUNCH OF YOUNG PUNK D-D-D-DOOKIE FRESHMANS. (crying)

WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR VET-TRENS? IS THEY A BUNCH OF CANDY APPLE SISSIES WHO DON’T DEE-SERVE TO WEAR THE KENTUCKY UNI-FARM? DADGUMMIT, THE GHOST OF CHRISTIAN LAETTNER GOT US AGAIN.

HOW DID THEM DUKE PUNKS BEAT, KICK, AND PULVERIZE US LIKE A BUNCH OF STREET THUGS IN A ANGELA LEET TV COMMERCIAL? WE GOT MURDERED, LARRY MINNER! THEY HAD TO PUT PO-LEECE TAPE AROUND THE U UH KAY TEAM BUS CUZ IT LOOKED LIKE A CRIME SCENE. (crying) U UH KAY IS CURSED AGAINST THESE FILTHY, RICH BOY, SMARTY PANTS D-D-D-DOOKIE DOUCHE NOZZLES. IT’S GOD’S FAULT, TOO. COACH CAL PRAYS TO THAT FAKE CATHLICK GOD WHO DON’T DEE-LIVER FOR THE CATS. WE GOTTA GIT COACH CAL BAB-TIZED AS A BABDIZ AND SO THEN THE REAL PROTESTANT GOD WILL HELP U UH KAY, NOT NO FAKE BEER DRINKIN, DANCIN, BINGO PLAYIN CATHLICK GOD.

WAKE UP, COACH CAL, OR WE’LL RUN YOU OFF LIKE WE DONE TO TUBBY. NO MORE CATHLICK PRAYIN FOR A BABDIZ STATE OF KENTUCKY OR ELSE THE REAL GOD GONNA KEEP SMITIN US! (crying) HOW CAN (crying) HOW CAN THE C-C-C-C-CATS LOSE BY 34 POINTS, DADGUMMIT? I WAS LIKE ELVIS AND SHOT OUT THE TV SET (crying) WHICH IS BAD CUZ I WAS WATCHIN AT MY BUDDY’S HOUSE. NOW I GOT TO GO DOWN TO K-MART AND GIT HIM ANOTHER TV SO HIS OLD LADY CAN WATCH “THE VIEW.”

I BETCHA OL WHOOPIE GOLDBERG WAS MAKIN FUN OF THE CATS TODAY CUZ SHE DONE SAID SHE’D LIKE TO MAKE THE TWO BACK BEAST WITH THAT DUKE PLAYER ZEE-ONN WILLIAMSTON. (crying) ZEE-ON WAS POSED TO COME TO KENTUCKY BUT NIKE PAID HIM MORE TO GO TO DUKE! THIS HERE IS HARRIBLE, LARRY.

ONE WEEK AGO, ALL US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS WAS SO HAPPY MAKIN FUN OF LOSERVILLE FOOTBAW AND TAWKIN ABOUT STOOPS TROOPS GONNA TAKE ON BAMA FOR THE S.E.C. CHAMPERCHIP. (crying) NOW STOOPS WORRYIN ABOUT LOSIN TO NOBODY TENNERSEE AND COACH CAL GOT HIS BUTT WHOOPED LIKE A BOY WHO STOLE MONEY FROM HIS MAMA’S PURSE. (crying)

YOU GO AHEAD AND SMIRK, YOU CARDINAL CONVICT, SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, NECK TATTOO, CASHIN FOOD STAMPS FOR METH, GODLESS, BRAINLESS, SPINELESS, HOPELESS U OF SMELL CARDINAL DUMPSTER FIRE…US GOOD AND CLASSY CATS IS STILL COMIN FOR YOU IN A FEW WEEKS AND IT AIN’T GONNA BE PURDY! (crying) I F-F-F-FEEL LIKE BURNIN A COUCH WITH COACH CAL STILL SETTIN ON IT! (crying) THIS HERE IS A KENTUCKY TRAGEDY! WE AIN’T PERFECK AFTER ALL. FARDY & OH MINUS ONE! FARDY & OH MINUS ONE! FARDY & OH MINUS ONE! THE ONLY BLUE WAVE TURNT OUT TO BE A DUKE BLUE DEVIL WAVE. STOP TARMINTIN US, GOD! WE IS KENTUCKY!

Beasman calls best team, Krzyzewski face, UofL fan necks: Cats, rats, and tats

Posted on November 6, 2018 by terrymeiners Posted in Uncategorized

THE BEASMAN cats lose but loserville slaughtered
DON’T YOU EVEN START IN ON ME ABOUT U UH KAY LOSING, YOU CROSS-EYED, BUCK TEETH, BALD HAIR, STINKBREATH U OF SMELL APOLOGIST. DADGUMMIT, YOUR FILTHY CARDINAL CONVICTS LOST BY 400 POINTS, THE WORST BEATDOWN IN U OF SMELL HISTREE BUCEPT FOR THAT TIME IN WORLD WAR TWO THE JAPPER-NESE BOMBED CARDINAL STADIUM.

Y’ALL CARDINAL FANS OUGHT TO RISE UP AND THROW BOBBY PETRINKO OUT IN THE STREET AND CHASE HIM OUTTA TOWN LIKE U UH KAY DONE TO BILL CURRY, JERRY CLAIBONE, RICH BROOKS, HAL DUMMY, GUY MORRIS, AND THE JOKER. DON’T Y’ALL CARDINAL IDIOTS KNOW HOW TO FIRE A FOOTBAW COACH? YOU JUST MOVE HIS OFFICE TO THE TARLIT ROOM AND TELL HIM HE GOTTA START WARSHIN THE JOCK STRAPS.

THEN YOU TELL HIM THE NEPPER-TISM RULE KICKED IN AND SO HE GOTTA FIRE ALL HIS RELLER-TIVES ON THE PAYROLL. BOBBY PETRINKO GOT ABOUT 200 RELATIVES ALL DRAWING A PAYCHECK SO CUT ‘EM ALL OFF AND THEN THEY’LL LEAVE TOWN LIKE A PACK OF GYPSIES CHASIN A CIRCUS. (laffs)

YOU BUNCH OF CARDINAL IDIOTS AIN’T NEVER GONNA GIT YOUR FOOTBAW TEAM BACK TO RECEPTACKLE-BILITY. JUST THINK, A FEW YEARS AGO Y’ALL ACTUALLY WON THE ARNGE BO. NOW YOU COULDN’T GIT INVITED TO THE ARNGE VOMIT BO. (laffs) BOBBY PETRINKO AIN’T EVEN TRYIN NO MORE. HE JUST GOT WHOOPED 77-16 AND SPENT SUNDEE SETTIN IN A EASY CHAIR COUNTIN HIS MONEY AND LAUGHIN. (laffs) LARRY, WHY DON’T Y’ALL RAISE THE MONEY TO BUY HIM OUT?

I BETCHA KATINA POWELL COULD PUT ON A NASTY DANCIN SHOW AT THE TOY TIGER AND RAISE MILLIONS OF ONE DOLLAR BILLS. JUST GIT ANDRE MCGEE TO PRESSURE WARSH THEM DOLLARS CUZ THE BANK DON’T TAKE NO SKANK! (laffs)

OH LARRY, LARRY, LARRY. YOU GOTTA BE SICK TO YOUR STOMACH KNOWIN THAT THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS IS STILL TOP 12 IN FOOTBAW AND TOP 2 IN BASKETBAW. WE GOT THEM ROTTEN DUKIES COMIN UP AND THAT WILL PROVE THE CATS GREATNESS! COACH CAL SAID HE HOPES HIS YOUNG BASKETBAW TEAM CAN SCORE AS MANY POINTS AS CLEMSON FOOTBAW PUT UP ON LOSERVILLE! (laffs)

LARRY, I SEEN YOUR BALD HAIRED TWIN CHRIS MACK OUT THERE ACTIN LIKE BEATING RUSSELL SIMMONS COLLEGE WAS SOME KIND OF BIG DEAL. (laffs) OH WOW! YOU JUST BEAT A SCHOOL WITH 49 TOTAL STUDENTS, AND MOST OF THEM ARE OVER AGE 50. NICE ACCOMPLISHMENT, LOSERVILLE. THE SIMMONS COLLEGE TEAM PITCHER LOOKED LIKE AN AARP NEWSLETTER. (laffs)

WHEN Y’ALL GONNA PLAY DUKE? LET’S SEE WHO GONNA DO GOODER AGAINST CHEATIN COACH K AND HIS BAND OF MONEY GRUBBIN RECRUITS. ONLY KENTUCKY WILDCATS REFUSE TO TAKE MONEY, ACCORDING TO COACH CAL, WHO GOES TO MASS EVER DAY. ALL THEM OTHER SCHOOLS IS TURNIN A BLIND EYE TO SHOE COMPANIES GIVIN FAMILIES MONEY.

Terry Meiners with Bob Ley on Outside the Lines, ESPN, October 2017

U OF SMELL GOT CAUGHT AND NOW YOUR BOYFRIEND SLICK RICK CAINT FIND WORK. IS HE LIVIN IN YOUR BASEMENT NOW, LARRY? TOO BAD, SO SAD! NO SLICK RICK TO KICK AROUND NO MORE. HE DINT EVEN SHOW UP FOR THE BREEDERS CUP CUZ AIN’T NOBODY WANTS HIM BACK IN LOSER-TOWN. (laffs) MEANTIME, ALL EYES IS ON THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS AS WE TAKE DOWN TWO ENEMAS THIS WEEK: DUKE IN BASKETBAW AND TENNERSEE IN FOOTBAW! THE ONLY THING U OF SMELL CAN TAKE DOWN IS BANNERS! (laffs)

I LOVE IT! AWWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! AND MIKE SHIT-SHETSKI’S FACE LOOKS LIKE RATS! RATS! RATS! AND U OF SMELL FAN’S NECKS IS FILLED WITH TATS! TATS! TATS! (laffs) GO CATS! GO BLUE! AWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS!

Expect a wild ride in the Rick Pitino book coming next month

Posted on July 31, 2018 by terrymeiners Posted in Uncategorized

Former University of Louisville basketball coach Rick Pitino has promised to go after the three people he says got him fired. In his forthcoming book, Pitino has promised to tell “the real story” of his removal and the dismissal of athletics director Tom Jurich.

Pitino blames the school’s “board of traitors” (trustees), especially chairman David Grissom, trustee “Papa John” Schnatter, and interim school president Dr. Greg Postel. The former coach also says his book “will not be kind” to Kentucky Governor Matt Bevin.

Pitino and I will discuss his book on WHAS radio in a few weeks. Follow me on Twitter @terrymeiners for show updates.

Cats lose. Beasman wants Coach Cal fired and that rotten Sister Jean excommunicated

Posted on March 23, 2018 by terrymeiners Posted in Uncategorized

THE BEASMAN cats lose
(cry) I WOULDN’T A-SHOOK THEIR HANDS, NEITHER. BUNCH OF STREET THUG, SCRAPPING, LYIN, CHEATING, BRASS KNUCKLE, CAT O NINE TAILS, BASEBAW BAT SWINGING, PUNK, HIPPIE, SNOWFLAKE, M.M.A., FACE KICKIN, NOBODY, KANSAS WHEAT FIELD TRASH.

(cry) I AIN’T SLEPT A DADGUM WINK, LARRY MINNER. THIS CAINT BE REAL. (cry)

WE IS THE CATS! AIN’T NOBODY POSED TO PUSH US AROUND AND DO ALL THAT BALL SLAPPIN, REACH-IN, SHAWNEE PARK DIRT BOWL, RUMBLIN’, GUN TOTIN, DRIVE-BY SHOOTIN, NECK TATTOO, 8-ON-5, GANG BANG, BRAWLER BALLIN AGAINST THE GOOD AND CLASSY KENTUCKY WILDCATS! WHO DO THEY THINK THEY IS, SOME PRISON PLAYGROUND TEAM?

(cry) THEM REFFERMARIES WAS LETTIN THEM KANSAS STATE THUGS CLAW AWAY AT OUR HANDSOME, GOD-FEARIN, MAMA-LOVIN, PURDY, GRACEFUL, HIGH-STEPPIN, SMOOTH SAILIN, WORLD CLASS KENTUCKY WILDCATS!

I KNOW THEY CALLED 30 FOULS ON THEM BUT THEY SHOULDA CALLED A HUNDERD THIRTY FOULS ON ‘EM…IN THE FIRST HALF! (cry) AND NOW IT’S ALL OVER. I BET CBS IS GONNA CANCEL THE REST OF THE TOURNEYMINT CUZ AIN’T NOBODY GONNA WATCH WITHOUT NO KENTUCKY WILDCATS PLAYIN IN IT. MARCH MADNESS IS NOW LESS POP-A-LAR THAN WATCHING PING PONG ON EXPN AT 3 O’CLOCK IN THE MARNIN. RATINGS GO IN THE TARLIT.

CAT FANS IS ALL DRIVIN HOME FROM CATLANTA ON FLOODED HIGHWAYS FILLED WITH TEARS OF CAT FANS ROLLIN OUT OF THE PICKUP TRUCKS AND RUSTY R.V.s. (cry) WHO WANTS TO LIVE IN A WORLD LIKE ISS? COACH CAL IS A FAILURE AGAIN.

HE GITS THE #1 RECRUITIN CLASS YEAR AFTER YEAR AND ALL WE DO IS FIZZLE OUT COME MARCH MADNESS! COACH CAL SHOULDA HAD 9 CHAMPERCHIPS BY NOW, BUT ALL HE GOT IS A MEASLY ONE AND THE F.B.I. IS MAKIN THAT ONE LOOK SHAKY. (cry)

I GUESS COACH CAL IS THE LINDSEY VONN OF COACHES. HE LOOKS GOOD COMIN OUT THERE BUT THEN HE WINDS UP SNAPPIN HIS LEG LIKE A PRETZEL ONCE THE GAME GITS STARTED. HE DON’T KNOW HOW TO COACH! THAT MUST BE WHY HE GOES TO MASS EVER DAY – TO ASK GOD TO TEACH HIM HOW TO COACH.

Sister Jean Dolores-Schmidt celebrates (Photo by Tom Pennington/Getty Images)

AND NOW YOU KNOW GOD IS GONNA SEE TO IT THAT SMART ALECK OLD NUN IS GONNA WIN IT ALL. I SEEN HER ON THERE GRINNIN ALL NIGHT WHILE U UH KAY WAS LOSIN. HER ONLY JOB IS TO PRAY ALL DAY SO NATURALLY GOD GONNA BUTTER HER BISCUIT MORE THAN COACH CAL. THEY TELL ME HE GOES TO MASS EVER DAY BUT I HEARD HE SLEEPS THROUGH MOST OF IT. WELL NOW ALL US CAT FANS AIN’T GONNA SLEEP NO MORE TIL NEXT SEASON GITS HERE AND WE GIT TRICKED BY COACH CAL’S FOOL’S GOLD ONE MORE TIME. (cry) I KNOWED IT WAS A BAD SIGN WHEN RICHIE FARMER GOT ARRESTED ON U UH KAY’S GAME DAY.

THEN ASHLEY JUGGS SHOWED UP AND BROUGHT HER BAD MOJO. SHE AIN’T HAD A HIT MOVIE SINCE THAT SHARK ATE HER RIGHT AT THE BEGINNING OF “JAWS.” WE GOT TO CHANGE IT ALL UP, CAT FANS. LET’S GIT RID OF COACH CAL, HIRE KINNY SKY WALKER, GIT RID OF THEM DUMB CHECKERBOARD UNI-FARMS, AND WHEN THESE SHOE COMPANIES GIVE OUR PLAYERS’ FAMILIES A HUNDERD THOUSAND, MAKE ‘EM SIGN A CONTRACT TO PLAY AT LEAST THREE YEARS FOR THE CATS….AT A HUNDERD THOUSAND A YEAR, OF COURSE! (cry)

AND DADGUMMIT, DON’T TAKE NO TIME OFF. GIT OUT THERE AND TAKE A HUNDERD THOUSAND PRACTICE FREE THROWS, YOU BUNCH OF NITWITS! (cry)

Cards get their jaws jacked in the NIT, the Beasman suggest a Toys R Us strategy to go out of business

Posted on March 21, 2018 by terrymeiners Posted in Uncategorized

THE BEASMAN cards pounded by miss state
(laffs) I BEEN A-LAUGHIN ALL LAST NIGHT AND TODAY WATCHING U OF SMELL’S DUMPSTER FIRE TURN INTO A INFERNO! GOVERNOR BLEVINS NEEDS TO DEE-CLARE THE U OF SMELL ATHLETICS DEE-PARTMENT A DISASTER AREA. IN CASE YOU DINT GIT THE LICENSE PLATE NUMBER OFF THE TRUCK THAT SMASHED YOUR N.I.T. DREAMS, IT SAID “MISTERSIPPI STATE.” (laffs)

photo of David Padgett by Gov. Matt Bevin

LOOK OUT, CARDINAL BIRDS…HERE COMES ANOTHER SLAM DUNK DOWN ON YOUR POINTY CHEATIN HEADS! LARRY, THE S.E.C. JACKS LITTLE BROTHER’S JAW AND EVERTHANG IS HAP-HA-HAPPY IN BIG BLUE NATION! HOW YOU DOIN, LARRY? I’M SO PROUD OF YOU FOR NOT KILLIN YOURSELF. I FIGGERED LOTS OF CARDINAL CRYBABY FANS WOULD JUMP OFF THE BRIDGE AFTER THAT N.I.T. DISASTER LAST NIGHT BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? I THINK Y’ALL ALL WANNA HANG AROUND TO CHEER AGAINST U UH KAY.

(laffs) AIN’T GONNA DO YOU NO GOOD! THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS IS GONNA WIN IT ALL AND THEN SHOVE THAT TROPHY UP IN YOUR UGLY, SNAGGLE TOOTH CARDINAL FACES. Y’ALL TAKE DOWN A BANNER AND U UH KAY PUTS UP A NEW ONE! I LOVE IT! SERIOUS BIDNIZ, LARRY. DO Y’ALL PINHEAD CARDINAL FANS FINALLY UNDERSTAND THAT THE S.E.C. IS WHERE ALL THE GREAT TEAMS PLAY? THE A.C.C. AIN’T NOTHIN BUT A BUNCH OF SWISHY BOY WILDCAT WANNABES.

LARRY, IT’S FINALLY TIME FOR U OF SMELL TO TAKE A HARD LOOK IN THE MIRROR…THAT IS…IF THE MIRROR AIN’T FILLED WITH COCAINE, AND SAY TO YOURSELF “IS IT TIME TO GIVE UP BASKETBAW FOR GOOD?” I MEAN, THINK ABOUT IT. THE F.B.I. DONE EXPOSED YOU AS SHOE PIMP CHEATERS. THE NC2A DONE EXPOSED YOUR STRIPPER POLE AND GRANDMA PROSTERTUTES. AND SLICK RICK DONE HAD SEX ON A RESTRUNT TABLE.

LARRY, U OF SMELL BASKETBAW IS LIKE TOYS R US. IT’S TIME TO JUST CLOSE IT UP AND GO OUTTA BIDNIZ FOREVER. Y’ALL TRIED. Y’ALL CHEATED…BUT YOU TRIED. AND NOW IT’S OVER.

YOU DON’T GOTTA GO PAY THAT BALD GUY IN CINCINNAPLISS MILLIONS OF DOLLARS TO MOVE DOWN HERE AND SAVE YOU. U OF SMELL IS BROKE ANYWAY. SAVE YOURSELF THE TROUBLE, THE MONEY, AND THE SHAME AND JUST DO LIKE TOYS R US… SHUT IT ALL DOWN FOR GOOD. YOU GOT NO RECRUITS FOR NEXT YEAR. YOUR PROGRUM IS THE BUTT OF JOKES. SLICK RICK AND TOMMY TURTLENECK BURNT IT DOWN TO THE GROUND SO THE DECENT THING FOR Y’ALL TO DO IS BURY IT AND JUST LET THE WHOLE STATE CHEER FOR KENTUCKY. COME ON…SAY IT WITH ME. AWWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS!

LET BIG BLUE NATION PAINT YOUR CHICKEN BUCKET SO THAT A NICE N.B.A. TEAM FILLED WITH FORMER WILDCATS CAN COME IN HERE AND SHOW Y’ALL WHAT REAL BASKETBAW LOOKS LIKE. (laffs) AND YOU NEED TO REE-TIRE AND LET MATT JONES HAVE YOUR RADIO SHOW SO US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS CAN GIT ON ALL DAY AND TAWK ABOUT COACH CAL AND HOW HE DON’T CHEAT AND HOW ALL THESE SUPERSTARS COME TO U UH KAY WITHOUT NO SHOE MONEY CUZ THEY JUST LOVE THE CATS. WELL, EXCEPT FOR BAM. HE GOT $48,000 BUT COACH CAL DINT KNOW ABOUT IT. AND NERLENS NOEL ONLY GOT $4,400. THAT’S LUNCH MONEY FOR A N.B.A. STAR LIKE HIM. AND KEVIN KNOX JUST GOT A SAMWICH AND A YOOHOO DRINK. EVERBODY ELSE LIKE JOHN WALL, BOOGIE, ANTHONY DAVIS, KARL ANTHONY TOWNS, AND JULIUS RANDLE…THEY ALL COME HERE FOR FREE CUZ THEY LOVE THE BIG BLUE.

COACH CAL – HE GOES TO MASS EVER DAY – HE WENT TO CHURCH TWICE THIS MARNIN TO THANK THE LARD FOR MAKIN LOSERVILLE DIE A PAINFUL DEATH. COACH CAL TODE GOD TO SMITE U OF SMELL FOR BEIN SINNERS AND GOD DONE WHAT COACH CAL SAID. AND SO COACH CAL GONNA GO TO MASS AGAIN TONIGHT TO TELL GOD TO MAKE SURE THAT CRANKY OLD NUN SISTER JEAN GOTTA LOSE ON THURSDEE. IF U UH KAY AND THAT NUN BOTH ADVANCE TO SAIRDEE, COACH CAL DON’T WANT THAT ROTTEN NUN TO PULL RANK AND GIT GOD TO FIX THE GAME FOR HER.

SO CAT FANS…SET BACK, RELAX, AND BE SURE TO MAWK ALL THEM U OF SMELL SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, NECK TATTOO, WELFARE QUEEN, FOULMOUTH, MOUTHBREATHER, DRIVE BY SHOOTIN, SPINELESS, TOOTHLESS, CROSS-EYED, G.E.D. FLUNKIN, MAKIN BABIES OUT OF WEDLOCK, GODLESS, BRAINLESS, BEER BREATH CARDINAL CONVICT FANS. TELL ‘EM BLUE GITS IN AND RED IS DEAD. BLUE GITS IN AND RED IS DEAD. BLUE GITS IN AND RED IS DEAD! GO CATS! GO BLUE! AWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS!

Beasman: classy Cats move to Sweet 16, Chris Mack heading to Louisville

Posted on March 19, 2018 by terrymeiners Posted in Uncategorized

THE BEASMAN cats head to sweet 16 radio sketch March 19, 2018
BLUE GITS IN! BLUE GITS IN! BLUE GITS IN AND RUNS OVER CRANKY OLD NUNS IF WE HAVE TO! AWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! (laffs) HEY LAREEEEEE! LARRY MINNER! START GITTIN YOUR CLUNKER GHETTO CARS OFF THE STREETS CUZ WE GONNA HAVE A U UH KAY VICTORY PARADE IN TWO WEEKS CUZ BIG BLUE BOUT TO WIN IT ALL! PAINT YOUR DOG BLUE AND HEAD SOUTH…KENTUCKY IS HEADED TO THE SWEET 16 IN THE BIG DANCE TO BEAT LITTLE BROTHER KANSAS NOBODY STATE. AND THEN COACH CAL GOTTA GO AGAINST HIS CATHLICK HERITAGE AND WHOOP UP ON THAT HOMELY NUN SISTER JEAN AND HER CATHLICK FISHBREATH THUG LOYOLA NOBODIES. THEN U UH KAY IS BACK IN THE FINAL FOUR. AWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! IT’S MELTDOWN MADNESS!

THE SO-CALLED TOUGH GUYS IN OUR BRACKET DONE WENT DOWN IN FLAMES! BYE, BYE VIRGINNY! SO LONG, ARIZONER! TENNE-SEE YOU LATER! NO BLISS IN CINCINNAPLISS! UK’s ROAD TO THE FINAL FOUR IS FILLED WITH WILDCAT WANNABE NOBODIES! KANSAS STATE IS A BUNCH OF SWISHY BOYS WHO CAINT HANG WITH THE CATS. THEY HAD A HARD ENOUGH TIME BEATIN’ EM U.M.B.C. RETRIEVER MIDGETS. BUT MIDNIGHT STRUCK FOR CINDERELLA. BYE, BYE MIDGETS FROM GHETTO BALTIMORE!

THE COAST IS CLEAR FOR U UH KAY TO WIN IT ALL WITH SHAY, DILLO, KNOX, AND WENYAN FUNYON. AND LISTEN AT THE THIS: U UH KAY WON TITLES BUZACTLY 20 YEARS APART. 19&58, 19&78, 19&98, AND RIGHT NOW 2018 IS TWUNNY YEARS LATER! IT’S HAPPENIN, LARRY! NOTICE HOW I SKIPPED OVER SLICK RICK’S CHAMPERCHIP IN 96? EVEN CAT FANS WANNA TAKE DOWN THAT SKEEZY BANNER! CATS IS CLEAN CUT, NOT NO RESTRUNT SEX SCUMBAGS LIKE U OF SMELL! BIG BLUE NATION IS SPENDIN’ ALL WEEK IN CATLANTA, WHERE ALL WE DO IS WIN! WIN! WIN! (laffs)

AND ALL YOU CARDINAL THUGS CAN DO IS SET BACK AND PRETEND LIKE YOU CARE ABOUT THE N.I.T. (laffs) WAY TO GO U OF SMELL! IN THE TOURNEYMINT OF LOSERS, Y’ALL ADVANCED TO BE EVEN BIGGER LOSERS WHEN A S.E.C. TEAM JACKS YOUR JAW! (laffs) AND IF Y’ALL CHEAT AND WIN THAT ONE, Y’ALL CAN TAKE YOUR CARDINAL SLEAZY STRIPPER POLE UP TO NEW YARK CITY FOR SLEAZY HUMILERATION! (laffs) HOW DID U UH KAY DO SO GOOD WHEN ALL OF US SAID THEY SUCKED A MONTH AGO? COACH CAL – HE GOES TO MASS EVER DAY – HE PRAYED TO GOD AND SAID “GOD? PLEASE SMITE THE HATEFUL NC2A FOR GIVIN THE CATS A KILLER BRACKET. THE NC2A IS ALWAYS OUT TO GIT U UH KAY.” AND GOD LISTENED CUZ HE SMITED ALL THE GOOD TEAMS BEFORE U UH KAY HAD TO PLAY ‘EM! (laffs)

NOW I’M WORRIED GOD IS GONNA LET THAT OLD NUN WIN SO I HOPE COACH CAL IS PUTTIN EXTRA BRIBE MONEY IN THE CATHLICK COLLECTION PLATE. SISTER JEAN LOOKS LIKE SISTER MEAN TO ME! SHE’S PROBLEE RAPPIN A RULER ON SOME 8-YEAR-OLD’S FINGERS RIGHT NOW. COME ON, GOD! DON’T FIX NO GAMES FOR THAT OLD LADY NUN AND HER LOYOLA CHICAGO GANGSTER THUGS. YOU CAINT LET THEM CRIMINALS WIN. CHICAGO IS A CITY FOR LOSERS LIKE THE BEARS, THE WHITE SOX, AND AL CAPONE. KENTUCKY IS GOD’S COUNTRY WITH FAST HARSES, PURDY LADIES, AND THE BEST ONE-AND-DONE BASKETBAW FACTORY IN AMERICA. HEY LARRY, WAS YOU AND SLICK RICK WATCHIN THE GAMES UP ON BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN? I BETCHA YOU WAS PUTTIN SHOE POLISH ON HIS BALD SPOT AND TELLIN SLICK THAT HE WOULDA TOOK U OF SMELL ALL THE WAY.

DID YOU SEE XAVIER LOSE? THAT’S YOUR NEW COACH! HE’S A PROVEN LOSER, TOO. PERFECT FOR U OF SMELL! YOU BETTER BUY LOTS MORE SHOE POLISH LARRY CUZ THAT GUY CHRIS MACK IS BALDER THAN YOU! U OF SMELL SUPPOSE-UBLY ALREADY SIGNED THAT CHRIS MACK GUY TO REPLACE BOY PADGETT. COACH CAL CAINT WAIT TO MAKE HIM HIS NEXT LOSERVILLE BEE-OTCH. NOW LARRY, I DON’T WANNA KEEP YOU ON THE PHONE TOO LONG. I WOULDN’T WANT YOU TO MISS A N.I.T. GAME OR ANOTHER F.B.I. PRESS CONFRENCE WHERE Y’ALL IS GITTING IN MORE TROUBLE. (laffs) IF YOU NEED ME, I’LL BE WITH BIG BLUE NATION HAVING MARCH MADNESS PARTIES AND CRUSHIN FOOLS WHO THINK THEY CAN RUN WITH US. TO ALL YOU U OF SMELLERS OUT THERE…ENJOY THE N.I.T. NEXT YEAR CHRIS MACK AIN’T GOT NO RECRUITS SO EVEN THE N.I.T. GONNA REPLACE YOU WITH THAT TEAM OF LUCKY BALTIMORE MIDGETS. AT LEAST THEY DON’T COMMIT FELONIES! BLUE GITS IN! BLUE GITS IN!