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Cats beat #1 to become #1, fake Wildcat Bevin ousted for true blue Beshear

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Tyrese Maxey debuted with 26 points in Madison Square Garden, November 5, 2019

THE BEASMAN bevin loses and cats win
HEY LAAARRRRRREEEEEE! (laffs) THE CHAMP IS HERE! THE CHAMP IS HERE! THE CHAMP IS HERE! (laffs) DID YOU AND YOUR BOYFRIEND SLICK RICK STAY UP TO WATCH THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS BEAT #1 TO BECOME #1? (laffs) THAT’S WHAT JUST HAPPENED, YOU BALD HAIRED, LOSERVILLE LOVIN, TRAITOR TURNCOAT, U OF SMELL FRAUD! (laffs) THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS IS NOW #1 IN AMURICA CUZ THEY PUNKED TOM IZZO AND HIS BIG TEN BORING 1950s BASKETBAW TEAM. CATS! CATS! CATS! BLUE GITS IN! BLUE GITS IN!

NEW YARK WAS FILT WITH WILDCAT FANS PARKIN THEIR CAMPERS IN CENTRAL PARK. TYREESE MAXEY IS THE WILDCATS NEW JOHN WALL! HE WAS JACKING UP THREES AND OL TOM IZZO JUST CRIED LIKE A LITTLE BEE-OTCH! CATS! CATS! CATS! (laffs) I DON’T THINK LAST NIGHT COULDA GOT NO GOODER WITH U UH KAY BEATIN #1 AND THAT FAKE WILDCAT GOVERNOR MATT BLEVINS GITTIN THROWED IN THE RIVER OF SHAME.

DADGUMMIT, WE WANT SPARTS GAMBLIN HERE IN KENTUCKY SO OUR RICH BOOSTERS CAN SET AT THE DINNER TABLE WITH THE WILDCAT PLAYERS AND TEACH EM HOW TO SHAVE POINTS! (laffs) THAT’S HOW WE DONE IT IN ADOLPH’S DAY! (laffs) GIT ON OUTTA HERE MATT BLEVINS CUZ YOUR BIBLE DONE GOT TOOK TO BLUE DEMMER-CRAT SCHOOL! (laffs) I LOVE IT! MATT BLEVINS WEREN’T REALLY NO KENTUCKY FAN, HE JUST COME AROUND RUMP ARENER NOW AND AGIN SO WE WOULD RENT IT TO HIM FOR A SCUMMY DONALD TRUMP RALLY.

President Donald Trump and Governor Matt Bevin, Rupp Arena, Lexington, Kentucky (November 4, 2019)

HOW’D THAT WORK OUT FOR YOU, FAKE CAT FAN! (laffs) OF COURSE, US GOOD AND CLASSY KENTUCKY WILDCAT FANS DO GOTTA GIVE MATT BLEVINS SOME CREDIT FOR PUTTIN PIZZA BOY SCHNATTER AND THAT DAVID GRISTLE GUY ON THE U OF SMELL BOARD SO THEY COULD FIRE SLICK RICK AND TOMMY TURTLENECK! (laffs) JOB WELL DONE, BLEVINS, BUT GET OUT OF THE BIG CHAIR NOW AND LET LITTLE ANDY BEE-SHEAR SET IN IT. HIS DADDY IS A TRUE BLUE KENTUCKY WILDCAT SO I KNOW ANDY WAS RAISED TO BE A CAT FAN TOO. (laffs)

photoshopped image inspired by the Courier Journal illustration that irked John Calipari

TRUTH IS, IT DON’T REALLY MATTER WHO’S THE GOVERNOR IN KENTUCKY CUZ WE ALL KNOW COACH CAL IS THE GUY WHO GOT THE MOST PIRE! (laffs) AIN’T NOTHIN HAPPENS IN KENTUCKY WITHOUT THE U UH KAY BASKETBAW COACH’S APPROVAL. IT DON’T RAIN IN LEXINUN UNTIL COACH CAL SAYS IT’S OK. (laffs) LARRY, DID YOU SERIOUSLY STAY UP AND WATCH THE CATS? THEY WAS AWESOME WITH HITTIN THEM THREES AND DUNKIN ON TOM IZZO’S SISSIES! I WAS LOVIN IT!

THAT MAXEY GUY WAS IMPRESSIN JOHN WALL AND KEVIN DOO-RAG WHO WAS WATCHIN IN THE STANDS. (laffs) U UH KAY GAMES ATTRACT ALL THE BIGTIME NEW YARK STARS. ALL LOSERVILLE GOT TO SHOW UP WAS THAT STUPID GUY FROM CADDYSHACK WEARIN A PIGGLY WIGGLY HAT. WHO CARES? HE WAS SO DUMB HE PUT DY-N0-MITE DOWN IN THE GOPHER HOLE AND BLOWED UP THE WHOLE GOLF COURSE. DAGUMMIT, JUST PUT YOUR SHOTGUN DOWN THERE AND BLAST THEM VARMINTS WITHOUT RUININ YOUR LAND!

LOSERVILLE BEAT NOBODY UNRANKED MIAMI AND Y’ALL IS ACTIN LIKE YOU BLONG IN THE TOP 5. YOU MUST BE SNIFFIN THAT MARYJUANA ANDY BEE-SHEAR JUST MADE LEGAL THIS MARNIN! (laffs) OOH BABY BABY, IT’S A WILDCAT WORLD! AWWWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! CATS! WE IS NUMBER ONE AGAIN! FARDY & OH! FARDY & OH! FARDY & OH!

No, Goodfellas, he’s not.

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via Twitter

No, I’m not taking that photo. But it’s a powerful message from Rick Pitino to leaders at the University of Louisville.

He very well could have captioned the photo, “I’m not going away until you pay.”

Ricky P is back in Louisville for a federal court hearing regarding his $40 million lawsuit over being being fired by the University of Louisville. That’s how much Pitino claims he is owed by the employment contract that was in place at the time of his dismissal.

UofL’s athletics association thinks Pitino deserves nothing more than the millions he has already been paid over 16 years of employment.

Looks like very little progress has been made so many see a protracted trial and appellate process that could take a decade to resolve.

Pitino was fired after a serious of embarrassments involving sex, strippers, and alleged recruiting violations.

I still believe Pitino knew nothing about the stripper scandal and that the recruiting issues were conducted outside his purview by unscrupulous assistants.

The problem for Pitino is the notion of failure to maintain institutional control over the program and its authorities, his assistants.

It will be interesting to see if a jury of working stiffs feel sympathy for Rick or want to punish him for failed leadership which erased 100+ games and a national championship.

If the over/under is $20 million, I’ll take the over. The Goodfellas will be celebrating the night that decision comes down, then again after the appeals court rules, and ultimately the state supreme court rules.

Now if everyone can just live long enough to see it. Or at least party hard tonight to envision that possibility.

Rick Pitino and friends at Jeff Ruby’s, September 9, 2019

IT’S ALWAYS A SWEETER 16 WHEN LOSERVILLE AIN’T THERE

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THE BEASMAN sweet 16 for the cats
SWEEEEEEEEEET 16, LARRY MINNER! AWWWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! OUR PRECIOUS KENTUCKY WILDCATS IS GONNA ROCK (ohio state or Houston) JOCK COME FRIDEE! WE GONNA ROUGH EM UP LIKE THEY IS JUSSIE SMOLLETT WALKIN TO GIT A TUNA FISH SAMMICH AT 2 O’CLOCK IN THE MARNIN (laffs) QUIT TAWKIN ABOUT THE MULLER REPORT, PIREBALL, RICH LADIES . OR ANYTHING ELSE. ALL THAT MATTERS RIGHT NOW IS COACH CAL AND THE CATS! AMERICA IS BIG BLUE NATION! EVERBODY KNOWS THIS HERE IS U UH KAY’S CHAMPERCHIP COMIN UP.

WE GONNA GIT PJ BACK. HERRO IS A HERO. REED TRAVIS IS BETTER THAN LEE-BRON JAMES. THE NC2A DONE CARVED KENTUCKY WILDCATS NAME ONTO THE CHAMPERCHIPS TROPHY CUZ IT’S OBVIOUS WE GONNA WIN. (laffs) THE REST OF THE SWEET 15 IS A BUNCH OF WILDCAT WANNABE NOBODIES. THE S.E.C. TEAMS IS THE BEST BUT THEY IS STILL WILDCAT WANNABES. AUBURN, LSU, AND TENNERSEE AIN’T NANCY BOYS LIKE THE A.C.C. FRAUDS VIRGINNY, VIRGINNY TECH, DUKE, AND CARAMALINER BUT AIN’T NONE OF YOU CAN BEAT U UH KAY! YOU NOBODIES AIN’T GOT A PRAYER.

I MEAN, THEM ROTTEN DUKIES NEEDED THE REFFERMARIES TO BAIL EM OUT AGAIN! ZION WAS PUSHIN AND SHOVIN ON THAT GIANT TACO MAN AND HIS WORTHLESS TEAMMATES. BIG BOY TACKO SUCKS. HE’D MAKE A GOOD WINDMILL OR A SCARECROW BUT HE’S JUST ANOTHER SHAGARI ALL-LEAN ON THE BASKETBAW FLOOR. BUT DUKE STILL HAD TO CHEAT TO BEAT ‘EM. THEM REFFERMARIES CAINT STOP KENTUCKY FROM DUNKIN ON THEIR NERDY DOOKIE HEADS! (laffs) THEM DOOKIES WANNA LOSE BEFORE THEY GIT TO U UH KAY CUZ WE GOT REE-VENGE ON OUR BIG BLUE MINDS! (laffs) BUT WE DON’T GIT DUKE TIL THE FINAL FOUR SO LET’S JUST TAKE CARE OF BIDNIZ FRIDEE NIGHT! THEN THE WILDCATS READY TO STOMP THEM NASTY NARTH CARAMALINER TURD HEELS NEXT! (laffs) THAT ROTTEN REFFERMARIE HIGGINS WAS WORKIN THE NARTH CARAMALINER GAME BUT HE CAINT REF NO U UH KAY GAMES CUZ OF THAT LAWSUIT HE LOST TO MATT JONES. (laffs)

photo: Herald Leader

SO AIN’T NO CHEATIN REFFERMARIE GONNA BAIL OUT THE TURD HEELS AGAINST U UH KAY! COACH CAL – HE GOES TO MASS EVER DAY – COACH CAL SAYS YOUR FAKE CATHLICK GOD IS GONNA SEE TO IT THAT NARTH CARAMALINER FINALLY GITS PUNISHED FOR RUNNIN ALL THEM FAKE CLASSES AND OTHER CHEATIN THEY BEEN DOIN ALL THESE YEARS. OUR KENTUCKY WILDCATS GO TO CLASS – SOME MANAGER TAKES THEIR TEST FOR EM BUT THEY STILL GO TO CLASS. PLUS, U UH KAY PLAYERS IS GOOD AND CLASSY! THEY WALK OLD LADIES ACROSS THE STREET AND VISIT SICK KIDS AT THE HOSPITAL AND DATE ONLY WILDCAT GIRLS AND NOT BOYS. U UH KAY IS AMERICA’S TEAM. NARTH CARAMALINER IS GOIN DOWN TO THE CATS THIS SUNDEE AND THEN WE’S CONVERGIN ON THE FINAL FOUR AGAIN. AWWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! LARRY, I HEAR LOSERVILLE FANS IS DOWN TO THE FINAL FOUR, TOO…THEIR FINAL FOUR TEETH! (laffs) COME ON, LARRY. LAUGH AT MY FUNNY COMEDY JOKES! I’M TRYING TO CHEER UP YOU LOSERVILLE FRAUDS WHO GOT NOTHIN TO LIVE FOR NO MORE.

Mark, Terry, and Mike Meiners (2019)

THIS IS THE FUNNEST TIME OF YEAR, I MEAN, UNLESS YOU IS A LOSERVILLE LOSER WITH YOUR Ls DOWN CUZ YOU DONE GOT SHOWED THE DOOR BY BABY PITINO! (laffs) POOR, POOR LOSERVILLE. BABY PITINO WHOOPED Y’ALL BUT THEN GOT STOMPED BY MICHERGAN STATE. I LOVE IT! NO MORE MARCH MADNESS FOR THE SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, GANG BANG, METH LAB, GOLD CHAIN WEARIN, CUSSIN IN FRONT OF YOUR KIDS LOSERVILLE FANS. BUT HEY…WAIT! Y’ALL GOT GIRL BASKETBAW TO ACT LIKE YOU CARE ABOUT! (laffs) WAY TO GO LOSERVILLE GIRLS…THE ONLY REAL BASKETBAW PLAYERS Y’ALL GOT IN THAT GHETTO TOWN. (laffs)

BUT WATCH OUT FOR THEM KENTUCKY WILDCAT GIRLS CUZ THEY STILL IN IT, TOO. U UH KAY GIRL BASKETBAW PLAYERS STILL SMELL PURDY AND THEY WEAR RIBBONS IN THEIR HAIR AND THEY AIN’T GOT A BUNCH OF CRIPS AND BLOODS NECK TATTOOS LIKE LOSERVILLE CARDINAL TOUGH GIRLS. SO ENJOY YOUR GIRL BASKETBAW, LOSERVILLE. BIG BLUE NATION IS DUSTIN OFF OUR TROPHY SHELF CUZ WE BRINGIN HOME NUMBER NINE. TIME FOR NINE! TIME FOR NINE! TIME FOR NINE! LOSERVILLE’S DEADER THAN SLICK RICK’S JOB POTENTIAL! AWWWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS!

The Catholic God is out to get Kentucky, can Coach Cal become a Protestant for better heavenly help?

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THE BEASMAN I hate cathlicks
I HATE CATHLICKS LIKE YOU, LARRY MINNER. ALL YOUR FAKE RELIGION BUDDIES THINK YOU CAN JUST GO GIT DRUNK AT THE MARDI GRAS AND VOMIT ALL OVER THE PLACE AND THEN GO TO CONFESSION AND ALL YOUR SINS JUST GIT WIPED AWAY LIKE A ETCH-A-SKETCH. TELL THE TRUTH RIGHT NOW, YOU CATHLICK FRAUD. THEM NOTRE DAME PHONIES LAID DOWN AND JUST LET THE NOBODY CARDINALS BEAT ‘EM, RIGHT? ANDRE MCGEE PROBLEE GIVE A HUNK OF CASH TO THAT POPE FELLER! THAT’S HOW Y’ALL SINFUL CARDINAL BIRDS OPERATE.

YOU AND ALL THEM OTHER TOOTHLESS, BRAINLESS CARDINAL FANS MAKE ME SICK EVER TIME YOU MENTION THAT U UH KAY LOST. WE KNOW WE LOST, DADGUMMIT. YOU DON’T GOTTA KEEP SQUAWKIN ABOUT IT! YOU POSED TO SAY “GO CATS, BEAT MISTERSIPPI” BUT NAW, YOU STILL TAWKIN ABOUT THE TENNERSEE DEE-BOCKLE. WELL I SEEN YOU ON TV SETTIN THERE AT YESTERDEE’S U OF SMELL GAME WEARING THAT RED SHIRT AND CHEERING FOR THEM FILTHY CARDINAL BIRDS. YOU POSED TO BE OBJECTIFY IN THE MEDIA, LARRY MINNER, NOT NO CHEERLEADER FOR U OF SMELL.

Mark, Terry, and Mike Meiners (2019)

I’M GONNA FILE A COMPLAINT WITH THE FDIC TO GIT YOUR RADIO BROADCASTIGATOR LICENSED REVOKED, YOU BALD HAIRED FRAUD. THE ONLY BROADCASTIGATORS WHO IS ALLOWED TO CHEER FOR A TEAM IS ALL THE KENTUCKY WILDCAT LEXINUN MEDIA CUZ THE GUMMIT UNDERSTANDS THAT BIG BLUE NATION IS A IRRESTIBLE FORCE. SO MATT JONES AND OSCAR COMBS AND TOM BLEACH ALL GOT SPECIAL PERMISSION TO BE BIASED. BUT NOT YOU, BALDY. QUIT BOOTLICKIN THEM CRIMINAL CARDINALS, LARRY. IT’S A VIOLATION OF THE STATE LAW OF BROADCASTERGATIN.

Dwayne Sutton (24) and Jordan Nwora (33) defend against Notre Dame (March 3, 2019)

SAY “GO BIG BLUE” RIGHT NOW TO PROVE YOU AIN’T BIASED AGAINST THE CATS! (wait two seconds) SEE…YOU CAINT DO IT, YOU FRAUD. I’M GONNA TELL U UH KAY THAT WH&S IS TWO-TIMIN THE BIG BLUE CUZ THE CATS IS POSED TO BE YOUR PRIORITY TEAM. THEY NEED TO FIRE YOU AND LET SENATOR MATT JONES HAVE YOUR TIME SLOT, YOU CARDINAL FANBOY! U UH KAY COULD GIT YOU FIRED RIGHT NOW AND GROVER THE FAKE COP CAN EXCORT YOU OFF THE RADIO STATION PREMISES. MATT JONES WILL TELL THE REAL TRUTH ABOUT LOSERVILLE ON THE RADIO. THEN WH&S WOULD FINALLY BE A RADIO STATION FOR THE PEOPLE WHOSE MINDS AINT WARPED.

BIG BLUE PEOPLE IS GOOD CHRISTIANS WHO ACT DECENT AND LOSERVILLE FANS IS NECK TATTOO, RAP MUSIC, WELFARE CHEATIN, G.E.D. FLUNKIN’ CARDINAL CONVICTS. O.K. YOU GOT ONE VICTREE…Y’ALL IS STILL NOBODIES WHO OUGHT TO BE IN THE N.I.T. BUT I GUESS SINCE YOU BEAT THEM DRUNK CATHLICK NOTRE DAME LOSERS, NOW Y’ALL PROBLEE GONNA GIT IN TO MARCH MADNESS AS A #16 SEED. BIG WHOOPTY DO.

I’M SURE YOU AND YOUR CROSSEYED CARDINAL BUDDIES BEEN GIGGLIN CUZ U UH KAY LOST A CLOSE ONE TO TENNERSEE. DON’T GIT TOO WORKED UP, LARRY. LOSERVILLE BEAT A BUNCH OF STUPID BEER DRINKIN, ROSARY BEAD RUBBIN, BINGO PLAYIN FAKE RELIGION CATHLICK HEATHENS.

JUST WAIT TIL Y’ALL PLAY VIRGINNY IN A FEW DAYS. YOU GONNA GO RIGHT BACK INTO THE BUZZSAW OF NOBODYLAND. AND I AINT FORGOT THAT TENNERSEE GAME SO I’M MAD AT COACH CAL. I THINK CAL IS BOYFRIENDS WITH THAT TENNERSEE COACH NAME OF RICK BARNES. EVERBODY CAN SEE COACH CAL LAYS DOWN WHENEVER WE PLAY BARNES. THEM PRISON ARNGE WEARIN ROCKY TOP HILLBILLIES DON’T SESERVE TO BEAT THE CATS! WE IS KENTUCKY, DADGUMMIT! NOW THEY SAYS U UH KAY IS A #2 SEED! WHAT A INSULT!

LET’S GIT REX CHAMPMAN TO DO THE GAME COACHIN AND KEEP COACH CAL JUST FOR RECRUITIN ONE AND DONES AND THEN WE CAN BE A #1 SEED AGAIN! COACH CAL NEEDS TO STOP GOIN TO MASS EVER DAY CUZ PRAYIN TO THAT CATHLICK GOD AIN’T HELPIN THE CATS WIN AND IT AIN’T HELPIN NOTRE DAME BEAT THE LOWDOWN LOSERVILLE CARDINALS. FORGIT ABOUT MASS, COACH CAL. YOU NEED TO SWITCH TO THE GOOD KENTUCKY BABDIZ GOD LIKE ADOLPH RUPP AND ME PRAYED TO. THAT BABDIZ GOD GOT US ALL THEM BANNERS YOU SEE UP IN THE RUMP ARENER RAFTERS! NOW LET’S GO WIN THESE LAST TWO S.E.C. GAMES, GET OUR #1 SEED BACK, AND THEN RUMBLE THROUGH MARCH MADNESS LOOKIN TO KILL US SOME DOOKIES! WE IS U UH KAY! AWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS!

Chris Mack’s biggest win yet: UofL blasts North Carolina at their house

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There is euphoria in Card Nation. The University of Louisville basketball team just pummeled the #12 ranked North Carolina Tar Heels in Chapel Hill. It is the first time Louisville has ever beaten UNC at their facility.

This game was so out of control that ESPN switched away with 4 minutes left to catch the opening tip of Duke vs Florida State. Just another Louisville boot stomp dominating performance that becomes tiresome to the national audience. (I kid!).

For first year Louisville coach Chris Mack, it is a stamp of validation after a tough loss to Kentucky and a head scratching loss to woeful Pittsburgh. This victory over UNC is the bookend to an early season takedown of #9 Michigan State.

The first shocker is considered somewhat lucky. The second one validates the coach.

Welcome to the University of Louisville, Chris Mack.

Chris Mack celebrates with his UofL team after thumping UNC

Jordan Nwora gets the job done

Stephen Enoch had the signature slam.

Dick Vitale jabs UCLA for declining a chance to hire Rick Pitino, internet mob piles on

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Famed broadcaster and former coach Dick Vitale took a swipe at UCLA administrators for making a hard pass at the option to hire Rick Pitino to replace ousted coach Steve Alford.

Vitale used the wrong Pitino twitter handle (@realPitino) so it is unlikely that the former Kentucky and Louisville coach will even see it.

Checking the Vitale tweet’s reply thread, no one seems to be in a forgiving mood regarding Pitino’s rocky ride at the University of Louisville. Here’s a sampling:

Whether or not Pitino was aware of the misdeeds of his assistant coaches, basketball fandom remains fully aware.

No PRIME TIME PLAYIN’ for Ricky P in America just yet. But he continues working in Greece and posting podcasts with the voices of his basketball allies.

David Padgett on this year’s Cardinals, Chris Mack, Pitino in Greece, and the new Padgett basketball camps

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Ryan McMahon with Louisville interim head coach David Padgett (2018)

Former University of Louisville basketball star and interim head coach David Padgett popped onto the radio to share his views on this season’s Cardinals, the progress of his former players, new head coach Chris Mack, how Pitino in Greece makes sense, and the new Padgett basketball camps.

Great insights from a guy who played, became an assistant coach, and then led the Cardinals to a decent season in the midst of turmoil. As for Pitino now coaching in Greece, have a look for yourself.

Griff breaks down Chris Mack’s Cards, Donovan’s Jazz, and NBA dreams

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Darrell Griffith, December 3, 2018

Darrell “Doctor Dunkenstein” Griffith popped into the radio station to throw love at new University of Louisville basketball coach Chris Mack. Griff says Mack’s style offers players more creativity to improvise, a definite change from Rick Pitino’s more deliberate style.

Griffith also talked about the tedious tasks ahead for UofL football coach Scott Satterfield, the amazing artistry of Donovan Mitchell, and the cushy life of Utah Jazz players compared to his era.

Salt Lake City’s growth since Griffith’s playing days amaze the former Jazz star. He says Louisville would prosper immeasurably by snaring an NBA franchise, a campaign impeded by Pitino and former UofL athletics director Tom Jurich.

Darrell also talked about his new restaurant Griff’s, now open at 2nd and Liberty Streets just across from the Omni. Early reviews are very strong.

Donovan Mitchell wins 2018 NBA all star weekend dunk competition wearing a Darrell Griffith jersey

Duke trounces Kentucky: it’s God’s fault

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THE BEASMAN duke trounces cats
(crying) D-D-D-D-DADGUM D-D-D-DOOKIES! (crying) WH-WH-WHAT IN THE S-S-S-SAM HILL IS C-C-C-COACH CAL DOIN? RATFACE MIKE SHIT-SHETSKI WAS GRINNIN LIKE A CHESTER CAT CUZ HE KNOWS HE GOT LUCKY LAST NIGHT. (crying) I WAS BITIN MY PILLER ALL NIGHT WONDERIN HOW ALL THESE GOOD AND CLASSY WILDCAT UPPERCLASSMEN GOT THEIR JAW JACKED BY A BUNCH OF YOUNG PUNK D-D-D-DOOKIE FRESHMANS. (crying)

WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR VET-TRENS? IS THEY A BUNCH OF CANDY APPLE SISSIES WHO DON’T DEE-SERVE TO WEAR THE KENTUCKY UNI-FARM? DADGUMMIT, THE GHOST OF CHRISTIAN LAETTNER GOT US AGAIN.

HOW DID THEM DUKE PUNKS BEAT, KICK, AND PULVERIZE US LIKE A BUNCH OF STREET THUGS IN A ANGELA LEET TV COMMERCIAL? WE GOT MURDERED, LARRY MINNER! THEY HAD TO PUT PO-LEECE TAPE AROUND THE U UH KAY TEAM BUS CUZ IT LOOKED LIKE A CRIME SCENE. (crying) U UH KAY IS CURSED AGAINST THESE FILTHY, RICH BOY, SMARTY PANTS D-D-D-DOOKIE DOUCHE NOZZLES. IT’S GOD’S FAULT, TOO. COACH CAL PRAYS TO THAT FAKE CATHLICK GOD WHO DON’T DEE-LIVER FOR THE CATS. WE GOTTA GIT COACH CAL BAB-TIZED AS A BABDIZ AND SO THEN THE REAL PROTESTANT GOD WILL HELP U UH KAY, NOT NO FAKE BEER DRINKIN, DANCIN, BINGO PLAYIN CATHLICK GOD.

WAKE UP, COACH CAL, OR WE’LL RUN YOU OFF LIKE WE DONE TO TUBBY. NO MORE CATHLICK PRAYIN FOR A BABDIZ STATE OF KENTUCKY OR ELSE THE REAL GOD GONNA KEEP SMITIN US! (crying) HOW CAN (crying) HOW CAN THE C-C-C-C-CATS LOSE BY 34 POINTS, DADGUMMIT? I WAS LIKE ELVIS AND SHOT OUT THE TV SET (crying) WHICH IS BAD CUZ I WAS WATCHIN AT MY BUDDY’S HOUSE. NOW I GOT TO GO DOWN TO K-MART AND GIT HIM ANOTHER TV SO HIS OLD LADY CAN WATCH “THE VIEW.”

I BETCHA OL WHOOPIE GOLDBERG WAS MAKIN FUN OF THE CATS TODAY CUZ SHE DONE SAID SHE’D LIKE TO MAKE THE TWO BACK BEAST WITH THAT DUKE PLAYER ZEE-ONN WILLIAMSTON. (crying) ZEE-ON WAS POSED TO COME TO KENTUCKY BUT NIKE PAID HIM MORE TO GO TO DUKE! THIS HERE IS HARRIBLE, LARRY.

ONE WEEK AGO, ALL US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS WAS SO HAPPY MAKIN FUN OF LOSERVILLE FOOTBAW AND TAWKIN ABOUT STOOPS TROOPS GONNA TAKE ON BAMA FOR THE S.E.C. CHAMPERCHIP. (crying) NOW STOOPS WORRYIN ABOUT LOSIN TO NOBODY TENNERSEE AND COACH CAL GOT HIS BUTT WHOOPED LIKE A BOY WHO STOLE MONEY FROM HIS MAMA’S PURSE. (crying)

YOU GO AHEAD AND SMIRK, YOU CARDINAL CONVICT, SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, NECK TATTOO, CASHIN FOOD STAMPS FOR METH, GODLESS, BRAINLESS, SPINELESS, HOPELESS U OF SMELL CARDINAL DUMPSTER FIRE…US GOOD AND CLASSY CATS IS STILL COMIN FOR YOU IN A FEW WEEKS AND IT AIN’T GONNA BE PURDY! (crying) I F-F-F-FEEL LIKE BURNIN A COUCH WITH COACH CAL STILL SETTIN ON IT! (crying) THIS HERE IS A KENTUCKY TRAGEDY! WE AIN’T PERFECK AFTER ALL. FARDY & OH MINUS ONE! FARDY & OH MINUS ONE! FARDY & OH MINUS ONE! THE ONLY BLUE WAVE TURNT OUT TO BE A DUKE BLUE DEVIL WAVE. STOP TARMINTIN US, GOD! WE IS KENTUCKY!