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For Kentucky football, targeting is triggering

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THE BEASMAN florida curse
I HATE YOU AND EVERTHANG YOU STAND FOR, LARRY MINNER. “CHANCE POOR” THAT ANY TRUE BLUE WILDCAT FAN EVER WANNA LISSEN AT YOU…ON THAT RADIO GIGGLIN LIKE A SCHOOL GIRL ABOUT LAY-MAR JACKSON AND TEDDY DIRTY WATER PLAYIN N.F.L. INSTEAD OF SOUNDIN SAD ABOUT OUR BELOVED CATS LOSIN TO THEM FLORI-DER PHONIES AGAIN! (cry) ALL US GOOD AND CLASSY KENTUCKY WILDCATS FANS IS LICKIN OUR WOUNDS AND Y’ALL WH&S PEOPLE JUST ON THERE TODAY HOLLERIN AND CUTTIN UP LIKE YOU’S AT A CARDINAL HOOTENANY. (cry)

DADGUMMIT, Y’ALL POSED TO BE GRIEVIN LIKE THE REST OF US, YOU CROSS-EYED, PENCIL NECK, TWO-BIT, DRUNK FOR BREAKFAST, WELFARE STAMP, CHAIN GANG, NOBODY LOSERVILLE WILDCAT WANNABES! WE GOT A FIELD GOAL KICKER NAMED SLIM CHANCE, FAT CHANCE, CHANCE POOR, OR BETTY BLUITT OR PEG LEG MEG OR WHATEVER. GIT HER OUTTA HERE AND GIT US IRON MAN TO KICK FIELD GOALS. (cry)

STOOPS TROOPS DONE GOT ROBBED BY THEM REFFERMARIES CALLIN WEAK TARGETING PENALTIES ON TWO OF OUR CATS. KENTUCKY WILDCATS AIN’T HEAD KNOCKIN THUGS LIKE LOSERVILLE CARDINAL BIRDS. U UH KAY WILDCATS IS JUST SO DADGUM TOUGH THAT OPPONENTS LOOK LIKE CRASH DUMMIES WHEN THEY GIT TACKLED BY A GOOD AND CLASSY WILDCAT! (cry)

MATT JONES — HE’S GONNA BE A SENATOR YOU KNOW – MATT JONES SAYS THEM REFFERMARIES IS STILL CHEATIN U UH KAY CUZ THEY’S MAD ABOUT MATT JONES PICKIN ON THAT BASKETBAW REFFERMARIE NAME OF HIGGINS. SO THAT’S WHAT THIS IS REALLY ABOUT. ALL THE ZEBRAS IS OUT TO GIT THE CATS BECAUSE THEY JEALOUS OF STOOPS AND COACH CAL.

Lexington Herald Leader

STOOPS TROOPS REALLY BEAT FLORIDER THE OTHER NIGHT IF THEM PHONEY TARGETING CALLS WASN’T MADE! HERE’S WHAT U UH KAY NEEDS TO DO SHUT DOWN THEM CHEATIN REFFERMARIES…WE NEED KENTUCKY HALL OF FAMER BOOGIE COUSINS TO GO OUT THERE FOR THE COIN TOSS AND THEN THREATEN TO PUT A BULLET IN THE REFFERMARIES’ HEADS! YEAH! I BETCHA THEY’LL STOP CALLIN FAKE TARGETING CALLS ON THE CATS ONCE BOOGIE GITS UP THEIR GRILLS! AWWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS!

OH, AND LARRY…STOP BRAGGIN ABOUT YOUR CARDINAL CONVICTS BEATIN NOBODY WESTER KENTUCKY. THEY’S A BUNCH OF SWISHY BOYS WHO CAIN’T BEAT NOBODY SO BIG WHOOP! IF Y’ALL WAS IN THE S.E.C. LIKE KENTUCKY THEN YOU WOULD GIT STOMPED EVER WEEK. THE ONLY REAL GAME Y’ALL GOT IS CLEMSER, WHO CAIN’T BEAT ALABAMMER BUT ONCE EVER 20 TRIES. THE A.C.C. IS LIKE DIVISION 2 FOOTBAW. BUNCH OF WILDCAT WANNABES.

STOOPS TROOPS STILL GONNA WIN THE NATIONAL CHAMPERCHIPS CUZ WE RUNNIN THE TABLE STARTIN THIS SAIRDEE AGAINST THEM MISTERSIPPI STATE BULL DYKES. MEANTIME YOUR DOORMAT LOSERVILLE FRAUDS GONNA GIT YOUR JAW JACKED BY THEM SCUMBAG FLORIDER STATE SCRITCHERS. AND DID YOU NOTICE THAT COACH CAL DONE GOT ANOTHER TOP RECRUIT FOR NEXT YEAR? THE ONLY GUY YOUR TWIN BROTHER BALDY MACK CAN GIT HERE IS BILL MURRAY, AND HE CAINT DUNK NOTHIN BUT A DONUT! SO SHUT YOUR CROOKED TEETH MOUTH, LARRY MINNER!

Former UofL player Jonathan Greenard tackles UK quarterback Skylar Smith

YOU AND ALL THEM CARDINAL CONVICTS STILL GONNA GIT SLAPPED DOWN AGAIN FROM THE F.B.I. CUZ OF SLICK RICK’S CHEATIN. THAT’S A GIANT TARGETING PENALTY ON U OF SMELL. THE F.B.I. AND SLICK RICK’S BANKER IS TARGETING Y’ALL. SLICK GONNA SUED TO TAKE ANOTHER FARDY MILLION DOLLARS SO Y’ALL GOTTA SELL THE THINKER STATUE JUST TO PAY HIM OFF! YOU SUCK, CARDINAL BIRDS! LET’S GO, BIG BLUE NATION! GO CATS! GO BLUE! AWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS!

In Kentucky, basketball stardom overrides terroristic threatening

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Congratulations to Kentucky one-and-done star DeMarcus Cousins. He helped the Cats get to the Elite Eight a decade ago and has made the NBA all-star team multiple times. He just got married two weeks ago, threatened to murder his baby mama, and is now in the University of Kentucky Athletic Hall of Fame.

Wait, what? Yeah, he got a bit steamed when his ex wouldn’t allow their child to attend “Boogie” Cousins’ wedding to another woman so the NBA star allegedly threatened her over the phone. She recorded it and released it to TMZ.

There’s been no legal update since the arrest warrant was issued two weeks ago but…GO BIG BLUE! Due process demands that Cousins get his day in court but why does the University of Kentucky, a pillar of enlightenment and female empowerment, feel the need to go ahead with the Hall of Fame induction?

Can’t this wait until the legal matter is concluded? What if more nefarious information is released by the ex or some other woman who has been mistreated by Cousins?

UK officials should have waited until the legal process plays out and then invite Cousins to join the HOF after the smoke clears.

In 2013, former Kentucky player DeAndre Liggins was arrested for punching his girlfriend and dropping a fan and video game on her head. Not long thereafter, Liggins appeared on social media in a photo with Coach John Calipari, a public declaration that “we still love you.”

John Calipari and DeAndre Liggins, September 2013

It was a different world six years ago when the Liggins charges were reduced and he was released from the Oklahoma City NBA team.

This is not a good look in today’s #MeToo and #TimesUp cultural landscape. Many women will find the Hall of Fame induction as a dismissive gesture toward all women who are victims of domestic violence or economic and verbal abuse.

Look out, Cardinals…here come them there Notre Dame Cathlick beak busters

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Joe B Hall and Terry Meiners, Rupp Arena, February 2017

THE BEASMAN football is back
I BET YOU’S JEALOUS OF COACH CAL PLAYIN GOLF WITH PRESSER-DENT BROCK PAJAMAS, AIN’T YOU, LARRY? COACH CAL HANGS OUT WITH ALL THE BIGTIME STARS LIKE BROCK PAJAMAS, LEE-BRON JAMES, JAY Z, THE DRAKE, AND THE OAK RIDGE BOYS. WHICH PRESIDENT DID YOU PLAY GOLF WITH, LARRY MINNER? THE PRESIDENT OF THE HAIR CLUB FOR MEN? (laffs)

John Calipari and Barack Obama, Farm Neck Golf Club, Martha’s Vineyard (August 2019)

IT’S TIME FOR FOOTBAW, CARDINAL SISSIES! SAY YOUR PRAYERS, YOU FILTHY U OF SMELLERS, CUZ Y’ALL BOUT TO DIE! (laffs) I LOVE IT! THE CARDINAL CRIMINALS GOT TO WAIT ALL WEEKEND FOR THEIR EXER-CUTION AT THE HANDS OF THEM DRUNK IRISH PEDDER-FILE, FAKE RELIGION CATHLICK SINNERS. (laffs) Y’ALL DEE-SERVE EACH OTHER, YOU STRIPPER POLE, GRAMMAW PROSTER-TUTE LOVIN LOSERVILLE CARDINAL THUGS.

YOU BUNCH OF NECK TATTOO, GUN ROBBERY, PAROLE VIOLATION, SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC LOSERVILLE FELONS IS GONNA START OFF THE FOOTBAW SEASON WITH YOUR DREAMS CRUSHED. (laffs) YOUR NEW GOMER PYLE COACH DON’T KNOW NOTHIN. (laffs) SHAZAM, GOMER! (laffs) ALL US GOOD AND CLASSY WILDCAT FANS IS GIDDY LIKE SCHOOLGIRLS. (laffs)

WE’S IN THE S.E.C. JUST LIKE FLOR-I-DER AND L-S-WHO AND JARJUH. THEY IS OK BUT THEY AIN’T U-K! (laffs) SEE WHAT I DONE THERE? (laffs) STOOPS TROOPS GONNA STOMP LITTLE NOBODY TOLEDO AND THEN ALL THEM SO-CALLED “TOP 25” WILDCAT WANNABE TEAMS GONNA FIZZLE.

COACH STOOPS IS GLAD THE CATS AIN’T IN THE TOP 25. THAT’S MOTOR-VATION! Y’ALL KNOW U UH KAY IS BETTER THAN ALABAMMER AND CLEMSON AND ALL THEM OTHER FRAUDS. GO BIG BLUE! EVER-BODY KNOWS THE CATS IS #1 AND THEY’S JUST JEALOUS! JUST WAIT AND SEE WHAT WE DO TO BIG, BAD TOLEDO…THE BEST TEAM IN OHI-ER CUZ OHI-ER STATE SUCKS. (laffs) BUNCH OF BUCKEYE NANCY BOYS! (laffs) CATS! CATS! CATS! TERRY TOUCHDOWN GONNA WIN THE HEISHMAN, U UH KAY GONNA WIN THE NATIONAL CHAMPERCHIPS, AND COACH CAL GONNA FINE-LEE WIN THE NC2A SO U UH KAY FANS CAN BE MORE OBNOXIOUS THAN EVER! (laffs) WHOOOO! GO BIG BLUE! GO CATS! AWWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! (laffs) BLUE GITS IN! RED GETS IN-CARCERATED! (laffs)

Larry Minner and JB Holmes at Valhalla, 2013

KENTUCKY COACHES PLAY GOLF WITH PRESIDENTS. U OF SMELL COACHES PLAY IN THE PRISON YARD. (laffs) HEY LARRY, I TODE YOU JUSTIN THOMAS WEREN’T GONNA WIN THE FEDDER CHEESE CUP CUZ HE’S A WEAK-MINDED U OF SMELL FAN. THEM FED-EX LIARS WAS AFRAID TO PUT J.B. HOLMES IN THERE CUZ THEY KNOWED HIS U UH KAY TALENT WOULD CRUSH ALL THEM OTHER CANDY APPLES. ME AND ALL MY WILDCAT BUDDIES WAS PULLIN FOR ANYBODY CEPT JUSTIN THOMAS TO WIN CUZ WE DON’T WANT LOSERVILLE TO HAVE NO GOOD NEWS NEVER. (laffs) GIT READY FOR THEM BEER BREATH, STATUE WORSHIPPIN CATHLICKS TO RIP OFF YOUR STUPID CARDINAL BEAKS AND BURN YOUR EYEBALLS WITH HOLY WATER!

BIG BLUE NATION LOVES NOTRE DAME ALL WEEK! THEY’LL STOMP YOU THUG CARDINALS AND COME NEXT WEEK U UH KAY FANS WILL GO BACK TO CALLIN’ NOTRE DAME UGLY, REDHAIRED, ALCOHOLIC, FISH BREATH, PEDDER-HILE PROTECTIN’ HERETIC, FAKE RELIGION DIRTBALLS. BUT FOR NOW, B.B.N. LOVVVVVEEEEESSSSS NOTRE DAME! (laffs) AWWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS!

Coach Cal’s godlike status in question

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For some University of Kentucky basketball fans, head coach John Calipari is losing his touch. They’re filling up social media with slams about Cal’s inability to land a Top 5 recruit in the past 4 seasons.

Even the hometown Lexington Herald Leader is now casting a wary eye.

Lexington Herald Leader, June 3, 2019

Never mind that Kentucky, the winningest program in college basketball history, fields one of the strongest SEC teams every season. Never mind that Cal has a national title just 7 years old. Never mind that UK still collects some of the most sought after recruits in America year after year.

Tyler Herro, Keldon Johnson

It’s not enough for simple minds who think that having KENTUCKY on a jersey automatically sends shivers through the opposition.

Kentucky’s domination has led other schools to mimic the success that Calipari brought in his first 5 years at UK. Even Duke succumbed to the one-and-done methodology of pass-through greatness.

Duke nabbed all three of Kentucky’s top recruit pursuits last year yet the Blue Devils could not cut down the championship nets.

The truth is that it’s hard to make it to the Final Four. Parity — plus — Calipari impersonators have successfully spread the wealth among a deep roster of schools with legit shots at the championship.

Kentucky fans are traditionally known as demanding whiners who can’t understand that other schools have talent, too. As for this recent burst of pointless Cal bashing, much of it can be based on the school listed at #2 on this preseason poll.

As for Calipari’s son considering transferring, the coach made valid points that his kid isn’t quite as good as the usual Kentucky players.

Brad Calipari will return to Kentucky. Seriously. Where else would he receive star status with that last name?

The Beasman bout to Nuh-Wore-uh y’all Cards fans out

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THE BEASMAN who’s coming back?
HEY LARRY! LARRY MINNER! IT’S THAT STUPID TIME OF YEAR WHEN PEOPLE START PRE-DICTIFYING NEXT YEAR’S BASKETBAW TEAMS WITH SCIENTIFIC POs. THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS IS LOADED FOR NEXT YEAR SO Y’ALL U OF SMELL LITTLE BROTHER NOBODIES AIN’T GOTTA PRAYER OF WHOOPIN US! (laffs) I LOVE IT! EVER YEAR, U OF SMELL IDIOTS START TAWKIN ABOUT “WAIT TIL YOU SEE NEXT YEAR’S CARDINAL BIRDS TEAM!” (laffs) AND THEN U UH KAY SMASHES YOUR FACE IN AGAIN AND Y’ALL SNAGGLE TOOTH, NECK TATTOO, SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, GRAFITTI PAINTIN, WHISKEY FOR BREAKFAST CARDINAL FOOLS START CRYIN ABOUT “WAIT TIL NEXT YEAR!” (laffs)

Brad Calipari (2018) photo: Lexington Herald Leader

BUT THE TRUTH IS COACH CAL GOT U OF SMELL’S NUMBER. DON’T MATTER IF IT’S THE I-TALIAN RESTRUNT SEX ADDICT WHO’S COACHIN OR LITTLE TOWN BALDY MACK WHO’S COACHIN OR EVEN DENNY DUMMY…U UH KAY IS YOUR DOMMERATOR, YOU LITTLE BROTHER NOBODY FOOLS! (laffs) EVEN COACH’S BOY BRAD CALIPARI KNOWS HE AIN’T FIT TO HANG WITH U UH KAY SO HE’S GOIN SOMEWHERE’S ELSE. BUT WHEREVER BRAD GOES IT’LL BE BETTER THAN LOSERVILLE. I HEARED YOU IDIOTS A LITTLE WHILE AGO TAWKIN ABOUT JORDAN NUH-WORA COMIN BACK. (laffs) SO WHAT! HE SUCKS AND SO DOES STEVEN E-NOCKED-UP! (laffs)

AND WHAT’S THE DEAL WITH NUH-WORA’S NAME? IT STARTS WITH A N BUT THEN WE POSED TO SAY WORE-UH. IS HIS MAMA DEE-LITERATE? (laffs) IT DON’T MATTER WHAT HE CALLS HISSELF…THE NBA DON’T WANT HIM SO HIM AND THAT E-NOCKED-UP GUY HAD TO CRAWL BACK TO BALDY MACK AND BEG TO STAY IN SCHOOL. CUZ ONCE YOU LEAVE U OF SMELL, THE NEXT STEP IS TO DEE-LIVER PIZZAS FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE SO WHY WOULDN’T YOU WANNA STAY IN SCHOOL WITH STRIPPERS AND SEX PARTIES! (laffs)

WUZZUP WITH THAT NEW PO? SOME IDIOT LISTS U OF SMELL AS #2 IN THE PRESEASON PO BEHIND MICHERGAN STATE. (laffs) AND HE GOT DUKE #3 AND U UH KAY #4. WHAT A JOKE! LOSERVILLE IS RANKED AHEAD OF KENTUCKY AND DUKE? (laffs) LOSERVILLE AIN’T GOT NOTHIN BUT A BUNCH OF RETREADS WHO COULDN’T BEAT NOBODY LAST YEAR AND FADED OUT OF THE NC2A TOURNEYMINT WHEN BABY PITINO TRASHED YOU. (laffs)

Dwayne Sutton (24) and Jordan Nwora (33) defend against Notre Dame (March 3, 2019)

SO NOW Y’ALL GOT THE SAME GUYS AND YOU ADD IN ONE IRISH GUY AIDAN NICKELBACK. (laffs) WHAT’S HE DO? SING BAD SONGS WHILE HE MISSES ALL HIS FREE THROWS? (laffs) JUST GIVE UP, LOSERVILLE. YOU KNOW YOU IS THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS LITTLE BROTHERS FOREVER. COACH CAL – HE GOES TO MASS EVER DAY – COACH CAL DONE CONVINCED THE NBA TO LET US KEEP SUPERSTAR WILDCATS NICK RICHARDS AND EJ MONTGOMERY. THE NBA DINT WANT TO BUT COACH CAL TODE THE NBA THAT WE DONE GIVE YOU MOST OF THE PROS YOU GOT NOW SO LET US KEEP THESE TWO SO THAT U UH KAY CAN WIN IT ALL IN THE NC2A.

via Twitter

THEM NBA OWNERS IS SAD TO NOT GIT A CHANCE TO SCOOP UP NICK AND EJ BUT THEY KNOW THEY GOT TO KEEP KENTUCKY HAPPY SO HERE WE GO, CAT FANS! FARDY & OH! FARDY & OH! FARDY & OH! THIS HERE NEXT KENTUCKY WILDCATS TEAM IS GONNA PLAY ALL ITS EXER-BITION GAMES AGAINST NBA TEAMS AND MAYBE EVEN THE NBA ALL-STAR TEAM JUST TO GIT THE CATS SOME COMPERTITION! KENTUCKY IS GONNA BE ALL-WORLD THIS YEAR AND NOT LOSE TO NO TENNERSEE FRAUDS LIKE WE DONE LAST YEAR WHEN THEM REFFERMARIES WAS OUT TO GIT US.

MATTER OF FACT, COACH CAL SAYS AFTER WE WHOOP TENNERSEE REAL GOOD DOWN IN KNOXVILLE THIS SEASON, WE GONNA DRIVE OUR KENTUCKY TEAM BUS RIGHT OVER THE TOP OF THE TENNERSEE PLAYERS’ ILLEGAL FREE CARS OUT IN THE PARKING LOT. (laffs) SMASH ‘EM LIKE WE’S IN A MONSTER TRUCK SHOW! THAT’S WHAT YOU TENNERSEE HILLBILLY PRISON ARNGE WEARING FRAUDS DEE-SERVE AFTER EMBARRASSING THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS LAST YEAR. AWWWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! (laffs) #4 IN THE PO WITH U OF SMELL #2 AHEAD OF US. THAT PO GUY MUST BE SNIFFIN THE MARIJUANA AGAIN! AIN’T NOTHIN BUT KENTUCKY GLORY AHEAD! MATT JONES IS GONNA BE A SENATOR AND COACH CAL IS GONNA BE THE NEXT GOVERNOR AFTER THE CATS WIN IT ALL AGAIN! GO BIG BLUE! GO BIG BLUE! GO BIG BLUE! FARDY & OH! FARDY & OH! FARDY & OH!

The Catholic God is out to get Kentucky, can Coach Cal become a Protestant for better heavenly help?

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THE BEASMAN I hate cathlicks
I HATE CATHLICKS LIKE YOU, LARRY MINNER. ALL YOUR FAKE RELIGION BUDDIES THINK YOU CAN JUST GO GIT DRUNK AT THE MARDI GRAS AND VOMIT ALL OVER THE PLACE AND THEN GO TO CONFESSION AND ALL YOUR SINS JUST GIT WIPED AWAY LIKE A ETCH-A-SKETCH. TELL THE TRUTH RIGHT NOW, YOU CATHLICK FRAUD. THEM NOTRE DAME PHONIES LAID DOWN AND JUST LET THE NOBODY CARDINALS BEAT ‘EM, RIGHT? ANDRE MCGEE PROBLEE GIVE A HUNK OF CASH TO THAT POPE FELLER! THAT’S HOW Y’ALL SINFUL CARDINAL BIRDS OPERATE.

YOU AND ALL THEM OTHER TOOTHLESS, BRAINLESS CARDINAL FANS MAKE ME SICK EVER TIME YOU MENTION THAT U UH KAY LOST. WE KNOW WE LOST, DADGUMMIT. YOU DON’T GOTTA KEEP SQUAWKIN ABOUT IT! YOU POSED TO SAY “GO CATS, BEAT MISTERSIPPI” BUT NAW, YOU STILL TAWKIN ABOUT THE TENNERSEE DEE-BOCKLE. WELL I SEEN YOU ON TV SETTIN THERE AT YESTERDEE’S U OF SMELL GAME WEARING THAT RED SHIRT AND CHEERING FOR THEM FILTHY CARDINAL BIRDS. YOU POSED TO BE OBJECTIFY IN THE MEDIA, LARRY MINNER, NOT NO CHEERLEADER FOR U OF SMELL.

Mark, Terry, and Mike Meiners (2019)

I’M GONNA FILE A COMPLAINT WITH THE FDIC TO GIT YOUR RADIO BROADCASTIGATOR LICENSED REVOKED, YOU BALD HAIRED FRAUD. THE ONLY BROADCASTIGATORS WHO IS ALLOWED TO CHEER FOR A TEAM IS ALL THE KENTUCKY WILDCAT LEXINUN MEDIA CUZ THE GUMMIT UNDERSTANDS THAT BIG BLUE NATION IS A IRRESTIBLE FORCE. SO MATT JONES AND OSCAR COMBS AND TOM BLEACH ALL GOT SPECIAL PERMISSION TO BE BIASED. BUT NOT YOU, BALDY. QUIT BOOTLICKIN THEM CRIMINAL CARDINALS, LARRY. IT’S A VIOLATION OF THE STATE LAW OF BROADCASTERGATIN.

Dwayne Sutton (24) and Jordan Nwora (33) defend against Notre Dame (March 3, 2019)

SAY “GO BIG BLUE” RIGHT NOW TO PROVE YOU AIN’T BIASED AGAINST THE CATS! (wait two seconds) SEE…YOU CAINT DO IT, YOU FRAUD. I’M GONNA TELL U UH KAY THAT WH&S IS TWO-TIMIN THE BIG BLUE CUZ THE CATS IS POSED TO BE YOUR PRIORITY TEAM. THEY NEED TO FIRE YOU AND LET SENATOR MATT JONES HAVE YOUR TIME SLOT, YOU CARDINAL FANBOY! U UH KAY COULD GIT YOU FIRED RIGHT NOW AND GROVER THE FAKE COP CAN EXCORT YOU OFF THE RADIO STATION PREMISES. MATT JONES WILL TELL THE REAL TRUTH ABOUT LOSERVILLE ON THE RADIO. THEN WH&S WOULD FINALLY BE A RADIO STATION FOR THE PEOPLE WHOSE MINDS AINT WARPED.

BIG BLUE PEOPLE IS GOOD CHRISTIANS WHO ACT DECENT AND LOSERVILLE FANS IS NECK TATTOO, RAP MUSIC, WELFARE CHEATIN, G.E.D. FLUNKIN’ CARDINAL CONVICTS. O.K. YOU GOT ONE VICTREE…Y’ALL IS STILL NOBODIES WHO OUGHT TO BE IN THE N.I.T. BUT I GUESS SINCE YOU BEAT THEM DRUNK CATHLICK NOTRE DAME LOSERS, NOW Y’ALL PROBLEE GONNA GIT IN TO MARCH MADNESS AS A #16 SEED. BIG WHOOPTY DO.

I’M SURE YOU AND YOUR CROSSEYED CARDINAL BUDDIES BEEN GIGGLIN CUZ U UH KAY LOST A CLOSE ONE TO TENNERSEE. DON’T GIT TOO WORKED UP, LARRY. LOSERVILLE BEAT A BUNCH OF STUPID BEER DRINKIN, ROSARY BEAD RUBBIN, BINGO PLAYIN FAKE RELIGION CATHLICK HEATHENS.

JUST WAIT TIL Y’ALL PLAY VIRGINNY IN A FEW DAYS. YOU GONNA GO RIGHT BACK INTO THE BUZZSAW OF NOBODYLAND. AND I AINT FORGOT THAT TENNERSEE GAME SO I’M MAD AT COACH CAL. I THINK CAL IS BOYFRIENDS WITH THAT TENNERSEE COACH NAME OF RICK BARNES. EVERBODY CAN SEE COACH CAL LAYS DOWN WHENEVER WE PLAY BARNES. THEM PRISON ARNGE WEARIN ROCKY TOP HILLBILLIES DON’T SESERVE TO BEAT THE CATS! WE IS KENTUCKY, DADGUMMIT! NOW THEY SAYS U UH KAY IS A #2 SEED! WHAT A INSULT!

LET’S GIT REX CHAMPMAN TO DO THE GAME COACHIN AND KEEP COACH CAL JUST FOR RECRUITIN ONE AND DONES AND THEN WE CAN BE A #1 SEED AGAIN! COACH CAL NEEDS TO STOP GOIN TO MASS EVER DAY CUZ PRAYIN TO THAT CATHLICK GOD AIN’T HELPIN THE CATS WIN AND IT AIN’T HELPIN NOTRE DAME BEAT THE LOWDOWN LOSERVILLE CARDINALS. FORGIT ABOUT MASS, COACH CAL. YOU NEED TO SWITCH TO THE GOOD KENTUCKY BABDIZ GOD LIKE ADOLPH RUPP AND ME PRAYED TO. THAT BABDIZ GOD GOT US ALL THEM BANNERS YOU SEE UP IN THE RUMP ARENER RAFTERS! NOW LET’S GO WIN THESE LAST TWO S.E.C. GAMES, GET OUR #1 SEED BACK, AND THEN RUMBLE THROUGH MARCH MADNESS LOOKIN TO KILL US SOME DOOKIES! WE IS U UH KAY! AWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS!

The Beasman can’t kiss Coach Cal on his 60th because only U of Smell coaches mess around

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THE BEASMAN cats rolling and duke is coming for u of smell
HOW YOU DOIN, LARRY MINNER? SURELY ALL YOU SNAGGLE TOOTH CARDINAL FANS IS COMIN UP WITH GOOD EXCUSES FOR WHY DUKE BEAT YOUR BRAINS OUT. (laffs) LARRY, Y’ALL NEED TO LEARN HOW TO CHEAT LIKE DUKE DOES, YOU KNOW, LIKE PAYIN OFF ZION WILLIAMSTON AND NEVER GITTIN CAUGHT LIKE Y’ALL DONE DID WITH BRIAN BLOWHARD. (laffs)

LARRY, IF YOU GONNA PAY OFF PLAYERS, AT LEAST PAY OFF THE GOOD ONES! (laffs) AST COACH CAL! HE TAKES THEIR MOMS TO CHURCH AND LET’S EM KEEP THE COLLECTION PLATE AFTER A BUNCH OF BOOSTERS PUT SPECIAL ENVERLOPES IN THERE. (laffs) WAKE UP, LARRY! DUKE BOUT TO CRUSH YOUR CARDINAL DREAMS FOR GOOD! (laffs) ALL US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS CAINT WAIT TO SEE DUKE KNOCK YOUR CARDINAL TEETH OUT AND SEND Y’ALL PACKIN FOR THE N.I.T. (laffs)

photos via Kentucky Athletics

DID YOU SEE COACH CAL AND CATS DOWN THERE IN REDNECK STARKVILLE? DADGUMMIT, WE WAS JUST TOYIN WITH THEM MISTERSIPPI HILLJACKS WHEN WE LET ‘EM GIT BACK CLOSE TO US THEN WE TURNT ON THE GAS AND BEAT EM DOWN! CATS IS INCHIN UP TO #1, LARRY MINNER, AND THERE AIN’T NOTHIN YOU CARDINAL FRAUDS CAN DO BUT CRY ABOUT IT. (laffs) I SEEN HOW THE NC2A PUT OUT THAT CHART SHOWIN U UH KAY AS A #2 SEED AND U OF SMELL AS A #4 SEED. WHAT A JOKE!

photo via Louisville Athletics

U OF SMELL DONE LOST TO NOBODY FLORIDER STATE AND NOW Y’ALL GONNA GIT STOMPED BY THEM DOOKIES AND THEN VIRGINNY GONNA KICK YOU IN THE FACE AGAIN. THE U OF SMELL WALK OF SHAME IS ON! (laffs) I LOVE IT. Y’ALL THUNK YOU WAS GONNA BE A 4 SEED WITH BALDY CHRIS MACK AND HIS BAD NEWS BEARS BUT AFTER THE NEXT TWO WEEKS OF BEATDOWNS…HELLO N.I.T. (laffs) MEANTIME THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS GOT CAL-ENTINE’S DAY AGAINST NOBODY L.S. WHO AND SO WE CAINT LOSE. Y’ALL GIRLS CAN BLOW KISSES AT COACH CAL ON CAL-ENTINE’S DAY BUT HE WON’T DO NO BOOGALOO WITH YOU LIKE A U OF SMELL COACH WOULD DO CUZ COACH CAL AIN’T NO TOMCAT. HE’S A WILDCAT! (laffs)

photo via Twitter

THEN U UH KAY GOT TENNERSEE COMIN UP TWO TIMES AND SO WE CAN BEE-OTCH SLAP THEM AND TAKE THEIR #1 SEED. I LOVE IT. LARRY, YOU CARDINAL FANS JUST GOTTA GO BACK AND ACT LIKE YOU CARE ABOUT GIRLS BASKETBAW CUZ BALDY MACK IS SLIPPING DOWN LIKE A STRIPPER ON A U OF SMELL DARMITORY POLE. (laffs) FACE IT, CARDINAL FANS. Y’ALL AIN’T PAID FOR YOUR SINS YET. THE F.B.I. COULD COME BACK AND ARREST EVERBODY ANY DAY NOW. MEANWHILE COACH CAL – HE GOES TO MASS EVER DAY – HE SAYS THE CATS IS PEAKIN AT JUST THE RIGHT TIME. AND SO IS HE. COACH CAL TURNT THE BIG 6-0 AND HIS WIFE WENT ON THE TWITTER MACHINE AND TODE EVERBODY HE’S A LOYAL HUSBAND WHO HAS HONESTY AND INTERGRITY. WHO DO YOU THINK SHE WAS MAKIN FUN OF, LARRY MINNER? YOUR BOYFRIEND SLICK RICK BUTEENER, THAT’S WHO! (laffs)

via Twitter

EVEN MRS. COACH CAL KNOWS HOW TO THROW SHADE AT U OF SMELL’S SHAMEFUL COACH WHO GOT RUN OUTTA THE COUNTRY SO THIS HERE BALD GUY FROM CINCINNAPLISS COULD COME IN HERE AND TRY TO GLUE ALL THE PIECES OF A SHATTERED U OF SMELL PROGRUM! (laffs) I LOVE IT, MRS COACH CAL. NEXT TIME MAKE FUN OF LARRY MINNER ON THE TWITTER TWAT MACHINE! LARRY IS A TRAITOR TURNCOAT WHO WOULD NARMALLY BE CELERMABRATING COACH CAL’S BIRTHDAY BY DONATIN TO SOME U UH KAY BOOSTER PROGRUM BUT NAWWWW….OL LARRY DONE CROSSED THE TRACKS AND SO NOW HE SPENDS EVER MARCH IN THE N.I.T. WISHIN HE WAS STILL BIG BLUE! (laffs)

Mike, Terry, Lisa, and Lynn Meiners (November 2018)

TOO BAD, SO SAD! LARRY…YOU GONNA LOVE THE N.I.T. THIS YEAR. IT’S GONNA BE PLAYED AT SHAWNEE PARK ON THE DIRT BOWL COURTS. THAT’S PERFECT, CUZ U OF SMELL STILL GOT DIRT ALL OVER EM FROM STRIPPERS AND PAYOFFS, YOU BUNCH OF SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, NECK TATTOO, WELFARE STAMP, WHISKEY FOR BREAKFAST, GRAFFITI PAINTIN, BRAINLESS, SPINELESS, TOOTHLESS, G.E.D. FLUNKIN, TRAILER TRASH, STRIPPER POLE SWINGERS! GROW SOME MORALS, SON. EASTER IS COMIN! AWWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS!

Cats caught in storm of poor performance, difficult for Beasman to mock U of Smell

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THE BEASMAN cats and petrino lose again
WELL LARRY, MAYBE YOU DONE THE RIGHT THING TO GO TRAITOR TURNCOAT AND RENOUNCE YOUR U UH KAY LOYALTY TO BE A U OF SMELL THUG FAN. IT’S A BITTERSWEET TIME TO BE A CAT FAN, I TELL YOU WHAT. NORM-ULLY I’D BE DANCIN A JIG CUZ THE U OF SMELL FOOTBAW SCUMBAG COACH BOBBY NECK BRACE GOT FIRED BUT THEN AS SOON AS I START GRINNIN I THINK ABOUT STOOPS TROOPS PLAYIN LIKE POOPS AND I GIT SAD AGAIN. (crying)

WE DON’T WANT BAMA NOW! U UH KAY IS RANKED #20 AND FALLIN. AIN’T NO NEW YEAR’S BIG SIX BO GAME. BINNY SNELL AIN’T GITTIN NO HEISHMAN TROPHY. AND TERRY TOUCHDOWN IS NOW TERRY LETDOWN. (crying) IT’S A BAD TIME FOR ME, LARRY, CUZ COACH CAL’S CATS SUCK, TOO. WHAT IN THE SAM HILL IS A-GOIN ON RIGHT NOW? THE OTHER NIGHT COACH CAL WAS STRUGGLIN TO BEAT THE NOBODY SUCKY SALUKIS. DADGUMMIT, WE IS KENTUCKY. (crying)

WHY IS WE HAVIN TO EVEN BREAK A SWEAT AGAINST SOME SCHOOL FOR MIDGETS WHO AIN’T GOT NO BIDNIZ EVEN THINKIN THEY CAN HANG WITH U UH KAY? BUT THEY RAN WITH US LIKE WE IS SOME DIE-RECTIONAL SCHOOL INSTEAD OF THE LEGENDARY KENTUCKY WILDCATS. HAS THE WORLD GONE CRAZY, LARRY? IF COACH CAL DON’T GIT THESE HERE WILDCATS PLAYIN LIKE MEN THEN HE CAN CLIMB ON THE BACK OF BOBBY PETRINKO’S MOTOR-SICKLE AND RIDE AWAY WITH HIM.

US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS AIN’T IN NO MOOD FOR JOSHIN RIGHT NOW CUZ WE WAS EXPECTER-CATIN’ TO WIN THE FOOTBAW NATIONAL CHAMPERCHIPS. WE LOSTED TO JARJUH SO THEN WE WAS GONNA SHOW THE WORLD BY BEATIN THE VOLS. BUT THEM TENNERSEE HILLBILLIES DONE PUT A SMACKDOWN ON THE CATS AND POPPED OUR BALLOON AGAIN! (crying) DADGUMMIT, WE AIN’T BEAT THEM PRISON UNI-FARM WEARING TENNERSEE FRAUDS SINCE FRAN CURCI WAS GITTIN JIGGY WITH THE U UH KAY CHEERLEADERS IN THE 1940s. (crying)

WE SUCK IN FOOTBAW AND WE SUCK IN BASKETBAW AND U OF SMELL IS SO TURRIBLE THERE AIN’T NO BU-CITEMENT BEATIN THEM CUZ EVERBODY DOES. THANKSGIVING GONNA BE HARRIBLE THIS YEAR CUZ THERE AIN’T NOTHIN TO THANK GOD FOR. THANKS A LOT, GOD! THE BLUE WAVE DINT COME. THEM DUKIES CRUSHED COACH CAL. AND STOOPS WET HIS PANTS ON THE BIG GAMES. I WANT TO LAUGH AT U OF SMELL BUT US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS IS KINDA SKEERED THAT THEIR NEW COACHES IS GONNA TURN IT AROUND.

THAT VINCE TYRUS DONE PRESSURE WARSHED AWAY ALL THE SCUMBAG, STRIPPER POLE HEROES LIKE PETRINKO, PAPA JOHN, SLICK RICK, AND TOMMY TURNTLENECK. THE U OF SMELL MOUNT RUSHMORE OF TRAGEDY DONE BEEN DEMOLISHED. WHAT IF THESE NEW U OF SMELL COACHES START WHOOPIN U UH KAY? I DON’T KNOW IF US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS CAN HANDLE IT. MATT JONES GOT DRUNK IN HIS BIG BLUE BOO HOO BAR FRIDEE NIGHT AFTER COACH CAL’S WEAK PERFORMANCE AND COACH CAL IS OVER IN A SIDE BOOTH. I HOPE MATT AND CAL DON’T GO ALL PORCINI’S WITH EACH OTHER.

Jesus. Not sure whether this is the real Baptist son of God or the fake bingo tolerant Jesus.

AND NOW WE SEE THE NEW U OF SMELL FOOTBAW COACH IS A JESUS MAN, TAWKIN ABOUT THE LARD ALL THE TIME ON TWITTER. DADGUMMIT. I TODE YOU COACH CAL BEEN GOIN TO MASS EVER DAY TO PRAY TO THE FAKE CATHLICK GOD WHO ALLOWS BEER DRINKIN, BINGO PLAYIN, AND DANCIN. IF THIS U OF SMELL COACH IS PRAYIN TO THE REAL BABDIZ GOD THEN US CAT FANS IS IN BIG TROUBLE!

COME ON, MITCH BARNFART. DO SOMETHIN! TELL STOOPS AND COACH CAL TO PICK IT UP OR LET’S THROW EM ON THE TRASH HEAP AND HIRE NICK SABAN AND MIKE SHIT-SHETSKI. THEY’LL DO IT – DOWN DEEP EVERBODY WANTS TO BE A KENTUCKY WILDCAT! AWWWWWW SHAPE UP, SHIP OUT! SHAPE UP, SHIP OUT! WE IS THE ROMAN EMPIRE OF COLLEGE SPARTS AND RIGHT NOW THE ROMAN EMPIRE IS ON FIRE! DO SOMETHIN, DADGUMMIT! AWWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! WE DON’T WANT BAMA! WE DON’T WANT BAMA!

WAVERING STANDARDS: If it’s in the dick-tionary, it must be OK (or is it spelled okay)

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When I asked Courier Journal management about scrubbing a 2014 parody of John Calipari from its website, I was told that the image didn’t meet the newspaper’s “standards.”

This piece ran last week in the standards conscious Courier.

Courier Journal, January 5, 2018 on the Pittsburgh basketball coach who mocked UofL’s adidas shoe scandal to someone in the stands at the Yum Center on January 2nd

This week the Cussin’ Courier throws feces at its readers – wiping it from the headline – but dropping it into the report on UK Coach John Calipari’s scatalogical jab.

Courier Journal, January 2018

Read the thread below for background on the Courier Journal defense of apologizing to Coach Calipari and removing an image from its web site. Salty Joe Gerth, a UK fan, says the September 2014 image is still available.

The subject of MY tweet was in response to Tim Sullivan’s CJ column shining light on Tom Jurich’s sometimes contentious relationship with various media members. I simply pointed out that it is not uncommon for athletics departments across America to contest media musings.

Courier Journal management printed an apology to Coach Cal and said the image would be removed from its site. According to Gerth, the image remains on its site more than 3 years later.

Then Joe called me a liar. He’s probably miffed that I didn’t put his name in the headline of this blog post. No wait. It’s there. ?

UPDATE: Courier Journal is SUPER edgy now, comparing local air quality with fellatio. So witty!

Courier Journal, January 19, 2018

Standards. You know, old gas stations, right?

Kentucky thumps Louisville to deepen 2017 Cardinal woes, New Year could be Blue Year with more penalties ahead

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Kentucky crushed Louisville 90-61 in the 2017 version of the rivalry game.

It was close for the first twelve minutes of the Kentucky vs. Louisville rivalry game. Tie score. Both teams missing too many shots. Then UK went on a tear in the second half, opening a 32 point lead. The final score was 90-61.

All Wildcats all the time. No Pitino playing the villain role.

Louisville visited Rupp Arena to take on archrival Kentucky on December 29, 2017. UK dominated, winning 90-61

With more NCAA punishment coming soon and no permanent school president, head basketball coach, or athletics director, how in the world will Louisville compete against top programs in the next five years?

There’s still more punishment to come from the NCAA which impacts overall interest in the Louisville basketball program.

That leads to the issues of future ticket pricing, new tax laws disallowing deductions for personal seat licenses, and residual effects on downtown businesses that depend on strong UofL game attendance.

Academy Award winner Jennifer Lawrence greets Louisville and Kentucky fans, KFC Yum Center, 12/28/14 photo: Scott Utterback

Rough seas ahead. Buckle up, Cards fans.

Suddenly John Calipari’s old slam about being the only program in the state seems to be blooming into truth.

Kentucky players celebrate the 2017 rivalry win by displaying Ls down, a slam against the Louisville Cardinals L sign hand signal.