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WE WANT BAMA! cried The Beasman ahead of a Crimson Tide beatdown of the Cats

The Beasman and Larry Minner

THE BEASMAN we want bama
WE WANT BAMA! WE WANT BAMA! GO BIG BLUE! GO CATS! BAMA IS GOIN DOWN! BAMA AIN’T NOBODY! THEY BUSPOSABLY IS RANKED NUMBER ONE BUT AMERICA AIN’T SEEN WHAT KENTUCKY CAN DO YET! WE IS BRINGIN THE PAIN TRAIN TO TUSCALOOSER! (laffs) WE IS KENTUCKY! WE’S THE BIG BLUE! AWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS!

Chris Rodriguez

WE DONE PUT A WHOOPIN ON THEM SMARTY PANTS VANDERSMELT NERDS BUT WE DINT USE NONE OF OUR GOOD PLAYS. NAW…WE SAVIN THEM FOR BAMA CUZ STOOPS KNOWS WHEN WE BEAT BAMA THEN WE IS #1! (laffs)

WE GONNA CRUSH SABAN’S SISSIES BY USIN TWO QUARTERBACKS, THE ONE WHO CAN RUN DOWN LOW AND THE ONE WHO CAN PASS SETTIN UP ON HIS SHOULDERS! THAT COUNTS AS ONE GUY! (laffs) SPEAKING OF SISSIES, HOW YOU DOIN, LARRY MINNER! (laffs) YOU FINE-LEE COME BACK ON THE RADIO WHY DO YOU TAKE SO MUCH TIME OFF WORK? IS YOU HAVIN ONE OF THEM SEX CHANGE OPERATIONS? I GUESS IN YOUR CASE, YOU’S PAYIN THE SURGEON TO TURN YOU INTO A MAN! (laffs) COME ON AND LAUGH AT MY FUNNY COMEDY JOKES, YOU U OF SMELL BOOTLICKER! (laffs)

Jim Host, Jack Goose Givens, Joe B Hall, Terry Meiners (2018)

OH LARRY, YOU AND ALL YOUR CARDINAL BUDDIES GOTTA BE SHAKIN IN YOUR BOOTS KNOWIN THAT COACH CAL AND THE BASKETBAW CATS IS LOADED TO CRUSH YOUR LITTLE CARDINAL BEAKS AGAIN THIS YEAR! (laffs) COACH CAL DONE SIGNED EVER SUPERSTAR WHO’S GONNA BE THE NEXT LEE-BRON JAMES! (laffs) Y’ALL DONE SET UP YOUR LITTLE SISSY CARDINAL BUBBLE TOURNAMENT TO PLAY A BUNCH OF NOBODY TEAMS SO Y’ALL CAN GIT A FEW MEANINGLESS WINS AND ACT LIKE YOU’S GOOD. (laffs)

King Louis XVI statue after downtown Louisville protests (2020)

WHAT A JOKE! YOU SAGGY PANTS, NECK TATTOO, COP SHOOTIN, STORE LOOTIN, LIQUOR BREATH, CUSSIN IN FRONT OF CHILDREN, GOD HATIN, CONVICT CARDINAL FANS IS GONNA GIT YOUR JAW JACKED BY COACH CAL’S CATS ON THE DAY AFTER CHRISTMAS. (laffs) I CAINT WAIT! AND IN CASE YOU HEATHEN ATHEIST LOSERVILLE GOD HATERS DON’T KNOW WHAT CHRISTMAS IS, IT’S THE BIRTHDAY OF JESUS!

ALL US GOOD BABDIZ WILDCAT FANS CAINT GO TO CHURCH CUZ OF THE RONA BUT WE IS STILL PRAYIN FOR GOD TO HELP US HUMILLERATE U OF SMELL! TRUE BLUE CAT FANS DON’T EVEN OPEN OUR PRESENTS UNTIL AFTER COACH CAL STOMPS BALDY MACK AND HIS BAD NEWS BEARS BASKETBAW CARDINALS! THAT’S WHEN CHRISTMAS REALLY STARTS! (laffs)

John Calipari conducts UK basketball practice during the 2020 pandemic.

WILDCATS ROMP! CARDINALS GIT STOMPED! (laffs) I LOVE IT! HEY…SERIOUS BIDNIZ LARRY…WHY DO YOU LOSERVILLE PEOPLE EVEN CELERBRATE THANKSGIVING? I MEAN…Y’ALL AIN’T GOT NOTHIN TO BE THANKFUL ABOUT. YOUR CITY IS ALL SPRAY PAINTED UP WITH CUSS WORDS. YOUR STATUES DONE BEEN KNOCKED OVER BY HIPPIE CRYBABIES. YOUR STORES GIT LOOTED BY PEACEFUL PROTESTERS. PEOPLE GIT SHOT IN THE STREETS EVER NIGHT.

raucous protests in Louisville

THEY KEEP RAISIN YOUR SCHOOL TAXES AND YET THE STATE READIN AND WRITIN TESTS SAY YOUR KIDS ARE THE DUMBEST IN KENTUCKY. AND YOUR LOSERVILLE CARDINALS SUCK AT FOOTBAW AND BASKETBAW. (laffs) THANKSGIVING FOR WHAT? THAT YOU ALL AIN’T INDIANA? HEY I GOT NEWS FOR YOU. INJIANA IS FOR REAL IN FOOTBAW AND YOUR LOSERVILLE FLUNKIES CAN’T HOLD THEIR JOCKSTRAPS. IF Y’ALL NEED SOMETHIN TO BE THANKFUL ABOUT, BE THANKFUL THAT THE RONA KEPT U UH KAY FROM BEATIN YOUR BRAINS OUT IN FOOTBAW! (laffs)

JUST WATCH THE CATS THIS SAIRDEE WHEN WE HUMILIFY ALABAMMER! AND THE GAME IS GUARANTEED TO HAPPEN CUZ WE GOT A VACCINE. HIS NAME IS JIMMY VACCINE AND WE JUST SIGNED HIM TO KICK FIELD GOALS! (laffs)

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