THE BEASMAN uk beats Kansas HEY LAREEEEE! LARRY DADGUM MINNER! I LOVE THAT PITCHER OF THE U UH KAY FAN GIRL SHOWIN Ls DOWN AT THE KANSAS GAME. (laffs) THE CURIO JOURNAL GUY PUT THAT PITCHER ON THE TWITTER AND ALL THE U OF SMELL LITTLE BROTHER CRYBABIES LOST THEIR MINDS CUZ A PURDY WILDCAT GIRL WAS A-MOCKIN U OF SMELL EVEN THOUGH WE WAS PLAYIN KANSAS! (laffs) DON’T Y’ALL CROOKED TEETH CARDINAL FANS NEVER STOP WORRYIN ABOUT THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS? (laffs) Y’ALL SAID SHE WAS OBSESSIN’ ABOUT LOSERVILLE BUT Y’ALL THE ONES GOT BUTTHURT. (laffs) CRY, CRY, CRY! THAT’S ALL YOU LITTLE BROTHER, DUMPSTER FIRE, F.B.I. INVESTERGATION CONVICTS CAN DO CUZ YOU KNOW BIG BLUE
Tag: the beasman
U of Smell pulverizes the Turd Heels, Beasman flummoxed
THE BEASMAN UofL shocks UNC WELL HOOTY HOOTY HOO…THE CARDINAL BIRDS CAUGHT ‘EM A WORM. WOW! US BIG BLUE NATION KENTUCKY WILDCATS IS REEEEAAAALY IMPRESSED THAT BALDY MACK AND HIS BAD NEWS BEARS GOT EM A BIG WIN AGAINST THEM TURD HEELS. WHAT DID Y’ALL DO, SEND KATINEENER POWELL TO SPEND ALL NIGHT DOIN NASTY STUFF WITH THE NARTH CARAMALINER PLAYERS? (laffs) DID KENNY JOHNSON SHOW UP AND START HANDIN OUT HOUSE PAYMENT MONEY TO THEM TURD HEEL PLAYER PARENTS? (laffs) I WAS JUST KIDDIN ON FRIDEE WHEN I SAID I WAS PULLIN FOR THE TURD HEELS…US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS HATE NARTH CARAMALINER. BUT WE ALSO HATE Y’ALL SO IT’S TOO BAD IT WEREN’T A TIE! (laffs)
The Beasman can’t help but chuckle when U of Smell is feeling pain
THE BEASMAN notre dame beats women HEY LARRY MINNER, YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I HATE YOU CATHLICKS SO I WAS HALFWAY PULLING FOR YOUR U OF SMELL LADIES TEAM TO BEAT THE POPE’S SORORITY GIRLS LAST NIGHT. BUT I GOT OVER IT. (laffs) I JUST LOVE WATCHIN U OF SMELL TEAMS LOSE…I CAINT HELP MYSELF. EVER TRUE BLUE KENTUCKY WILDCAT FAN LOVES TO SEE LOSERVILLE IN PAIN. SO I HOPE Y’ALL LOSE TO THE COMMUNISTS, THE DEVIL, AND EXPESH-LEE DUKE. US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS CHEER FOR THEM ROTTEN DOOKIES ONLY WHEN THEY IS PLAYIN THE SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, NECK TATTOO, GRAFFITI PAINTIN, WELFARE STAMP, ILLITERATE, BRAINLESS, TOOTHLESS, SPINELESS, MAKIN BABIES OUT OF WEDLOCK LOSERVILLE CARDINALS.
Happy Blue Year! Cats own the world, Cards fans in hiding
THE BEASMAN uk wins the world CATS WIN! BLUE GITS IN! CATS WIN! BLUE GITS IN! (laffs) ALL WE DO IS WIN, WIN, WIN! ALL WE DO IS WIN! WIN! WINNNNNN! (laffs) SNELL YEAH! SNELL YEAH! Ls DOWN! Ls DOWN! (laffs) LARRY MINNER AND ALL HIS SNAGGLE TOOTH CARDINAL CONVICT FANS AIN’T GOT NO REASON TO LIVE NO MORE! (laffs) WHY DON’T Y’ALL SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, NECK TATTOO, WELFARE STAMP CASHIN, GRAFFITI PAINTIN, GANG BANG THUG LOSERVILLE FANS JUST BOW DOWN AND ADMIT THAT U UH KAY IS YOUR MASTER! DO IT, LARRY! SAY THAT U UH KAY IS YOUR BIG BROTHER DOMMERATOR RIGHT NOW OR YOU IS A BROADCAST FRAUD! (laffs) IF YOUR CAINT ADMIT THAT U UH
U of Smell can’t shake the stank; Cats woke
THE BEASMAN lipscomb win I SEEN YOUR SOCCER COACH RUN OFF IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, LARRY. WHAT HAPPENED, DID Y’ALL SEND HIM A STRIPPER AS A CHRISTMAS PRESENT BUT HE HAD TOO MANY MORALS TO SMOOCH HER? (laffs) WE DON’T LIKE U UH KAY SOCCER, NEITHER, CUZ IT’S JUST A BUNCH OF STINKBREATH FUR-EN-URZ RUNNIN AROUND A COW PASTURE WITHOUT NOBODY NEVER SCORIN, JUST LIKE YOUR HIGH SCHOOL DATING LIFE, RIGHT LARRY? (laffs) POOR POOR LARRY. HIS PRECIOUS CARDINALS IS ALL WARSHED UP AND HIS BOYFRIEND SLICK RICK DONE FALLED IN LOVE WITH ANOTHER BALD GUY NAME OF DICK VITALIS. (laffs) IT’S JUST A SCUMBAG SCHOOL, PEOPLE. U OF SMELL IS SO GROSS
Louisville basketball beats Michigan State, are The Cats skeered?
THE BEASMAN Louisville beats Michigan State WELL…I GUESS YOU SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, NECK TATTOO, THUGGIN’ CARDINAL FRAUDS THINK YOU IS HOT SNOT NOW, HUH? WELL YOU AIN’T, DADGUMMIT! JUST CUZ YOU GOT LUCKY AND MICHERGAN STATE LAID DOWN AND LET YOU WIN LAST NIGHT DON’T MEAN THE U OF SMELL DUMPSTER FIRE IS OUT. (laffs) BIG BLUE NATION KNOWS WHAT’S UP…Y’ALL IS STILL SKEEZY, STRIPPER POLE, SHOE COMPANY MONEY, 15 SECONDS OF RESTRUNT LOVE, LYIN UNDER OATH CONVICTS. (laffs) THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS IS GOOD AND CLASSY, AND WE AIN’T SKEERED OF PLAYIN U OF SMELL IN A FEW WEEKS CUZ WE GOT GAMES AGAINST REAL TEAMS LIKE TONIGHT…WE PLAYIN SOMEBODY CALLED MON-MOUTH. I’M SURE THEY IS BETTER
Cats crush Cards and The Beasman claims Brohm and Rondale ain’t a-comin’
THE BEASMAN cats crush cards TOUCHDOWWWWWWNNNNNN KENTUCKY! (laffs) THE CATS IS STILL OUT THERE SCORIN, YOU BUNCH OF SAGGY PANTS, CROOKED TEETH, CROWN ROYAL FOR BREAKFAST, BRAINLESS, SPINELESS, GUTLESS LOSERVILLE THUGS! TOUCHDOWWWWNNNN KENTUCKY! AND THEY IS GOIN FOR TWO AFTER EVER TOUCHDOWN CUZ LOSERVILLE CAINT STOP A TODDLER FROM GETTING TO THE END ZONE! (laffs) I HOPE YOU U OF SMELLERS FINALLY ACCEPT YOUR FATE AS LITTLE BROTHER NOBODIES. Y’ALL COULDN’T BEAT A DIVISION 3 TEAM OF CROSS-EYED COMPUTER NERDS. (laffs) I HEARD JEFF BROHM JUST KISSED HIS PURDUE BOSS ON THE MOUTH AND SAID “PLEASE LET ME STAY. I CAINT DO NOTHIN TO FIX THAT LOSERVILLE DUMPSTER FIRE!” SO THEN PURDUE CUT JEFF
100% chance of a Blue Wave beatdown, Beasman chants DEAD MAN WALKING!
(laffs) TELL THE CARDINAL STADIUM CREW TO PUT ALL NEW LIGHTBULBS IN THE SCOREBOARD CUZ THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS BOUT TO LIGHT IT UP LIKE A CALIFARNIA WILDFIRE! (laffs) IF THEM CRABBY OLD PEOPLE THINK TOP GOLF IS TOO BRIGHT, THEY SURE AIN’T GONNA LIKE HOW STOOPS TROOPS GONNA TORCH U OF SMELL! (laffs) LARRY, LARRY, LARRY! THE MIGHTY KENTUCKY WILDCATS IS COMIN TO YOUR GHETTO TOWN TO FINALLY PUT THEM LOSERVILLE CARDINALS OUTTA THEIR MISERY. THAT TEMPORARY COACH WAS SO BAD THAT BOBBY PETRINO AST HIM TO BECOME ANOTHER SON-IN-LAW. (laffs) THAT NEW COACH IS SO WORTHLESS THAT U OF SMELL TRIED TO GIVE HIM ANOTHER $14 MILLION TO GO AWAY. (laffs) LARRY,
Cats caught in storm of poor performance, difficult for Beasman to mock U of Smell
THE BEASMAN cats and petrino lose again WELL LARRY, MAYBE YOU DONE THE RIGHT THING TO GO TRAITOR TURNCOAT AND RENOUNCE YOUR U UH KAY LOYALTY TO BE A U OF SMELL THUG FAN. IT’S A BITTERSWEET TIME TO BE A CAT FAN, I TELL YOU WHAT. NORM-ULLY I’D BE DANCIN A JIG CUZ THE U OF SMELL FOOTBAW SCUMBAG COACH BOBBY NECK BRACE GOT FIRED BUT THEN AS SOON AS I START GRINNIN I THINK ABOUT STOOPS TROOPS PLAYIN LIKE POOPS AND I GIT SAD AGAIN. (crying) WE DON’T WANT BAMA NOW! U UH KAY IS RANKED #20 AND FALLIN. AIN’T NO NEW YEAR’S BIG SIX BO GAME. BINNY SNELL AIN’T GITTIN NO HEISHMAN TROPHY. AND TERRY
Duke trounces Kentucky: it’s God’s fault
THE BEASMAN duke trounces cats (crying) D-D-D-D-DADGUM D-D-D-DOOKIES! (crying) WH-WH-WHAT IN THE S-S-S-SAM HILL IS C-C-C-COACH CAL DOIN? RATFACE MIKE SHIT-SHETSKI WAS GRINNIN LIKE A CHESTER CAT CUZ HE KNOWS HE GOT LUCKY LAST NIGHT. (crying) I WAS BITIN MY PILLER ALL NIGHT WONDERIN HOW ALL THESE GOOD AND CLASSY WILDCAT UPPERCLASSMEN GOT THEIR JAW JACKED BY A BUNCH OF YOUNG PUNK D-D-D-DOOKIE FRESHMANS. (crying) WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR VET-TRENS? IS THEY A BUNCH OF CANDY APPLE SISSIES WHO DON’T DEE-SERVE TO WEAR THE KENTUCKY UNI-FARM? DADGUMMIT, THE GHOST OF CHRISTIAN LAETTNER GOT US AGAIN. HOW DID THEM DUKE PUNKS BEAT, KICK, AND PULVERIZE US LIKE A BUNCH OF STREET THUGS IN A ANGELA LEET TV COMMERCIAL? WE GOT