THE BEASMAN cats lose to LSU T-T-T-TELL ME IT WAS ALL A BAD DREAM! (long cry) I CAINT GIT OUTTA BED TODAY C-C-C-C CUZ MY PRECIOUS KENTUCKY WILDCATS LOSTED LAST NIGHT. (cry) THAT NASTY L.S.U. PLAYER DID A 360 DUNK AT THE FINAL BUZZER TO MOCK THE CATS EVEN MORE! (cry) WHY, GOD, WHY? (cry) THE G-G-G-GOOD AND CLASSY KENTUCKY WILDCATS GOT DISRESPECTERCATED DOWN THERE AT L.S.U. (cry) THE CATS WAS LEADING BY 9 POINTS WITH TWO MINUTES LEFT AND THEN (cry) ALL HADES BROKE LOOSE! (long cry) THEM L.S.U. THUGS STARTED HITTING BIG SHOTS AND WE DINT HAVE NO TY TY OR NO SAVIOR TO HELP US! TY TY GOT THE CRAMP CRAMPS AND THE SAVIOR GOT HIS JAW JACKED
Tag: louisville basketball
Dontaie know how good he is?
The last time Kentucky basketball was this bad, 25-year-old Adolph Rupp was a wrestling coach in Iowa and these slugs were repping the Cats. Most of them were local boys from so-called Big Blue Nation. That counts for a lot around these parts. University of Kentucky basketball fans are reeling from a six game losing streak, with the latest burn by arch-rival Louisville. Some UK zealots are calling for Coach John Calipari to step down. Others question whether his one-and-done methodology is now outdated. Most UK fans agree that Calipari needs to give more playing time to Dontaie Allen. Why? Because he's a homegrown basketball player who was named Mr. Basketball! He's a Kentuckian, and in the minds of the majority, that makes Allen
Cats climb back into contention with Nick Dicks and Kissin’ Cal thrilling The Beasman
THE BEASMAN cats is back GUNS UP! Ls DOWN! GUNS UP! Ls DOWN! (laffs) OH LARRY, US TRUE BLUE KENTUCKY WILDCAT FANS KNOW HOW TO MOCK OUR OPPONENTS WITH HAND JIVE! (laffs) DID YOU SEE HOW OUR GOOD AND CLASSY KENTUCKY WILDCAT PLAYERS WAS MOCKIN THEM TEXAS TECH LOUDMOUTHS? WE TOOK THEIR “GUNS UP” HAND SIGN AND FLIPPED IT DOWN JUST LIKE WE DO TO U OF SMELL! SO NOW IT’S GUNS DOWN AND Ls DOWN! (laffs) I LOVE IT! THE CATS WON BIG ON THE ROAD SHOWIN THEM TEXAS COWBOYS THEY JUST A BUNCH OF BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN GIRLS! (laffs) OUR KENTUCKY PLAYERS WAS A-MOCKIN THAT CROWD DOIN THE GUNS DOWN SIGN! (laffs) I LOVE IT! YOU CAINT GIT
Louisville’s got that going for us, which is nice
A flood of Bill Murray sightings popped onto social media this week. The actor known as being the most chill celebrity in the world spends time in Louisville with his son Luke, a top recruiter and assistant coach for University of Louisville men's basketball. Luke and his wife Kara are expecting their second child soon. Murray loves visiting his son's family, even handing out Halloween candy at their home last October. This week, Louisville's head basketball coach Chris Mack hosted an old guy basketball camp complete with competition, film breakdown, celebrity guests like Bill Murray and Jay Bilas, and a championship game. Even though I wore a uniform, I played the role of general manager for some of my much younger colleagues like
The Beasman bout to Nuh-Wore-uh y’all Cards fans out
THE BEASMAN who’s coming back? HEY LARRY! LARRY MINNER! IT’S THAT STUPID TIME OF YEAR WHEN PEOPLE START PRE-DICTIFYING NEXT YEAR’S BASKETBAW TEAMS WITH SCIENTIFIC POs. THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS IS LOADED FOR NEXT YEAR SO Y’ALL U OF SMELL LITTLE BROTHER NOBODIES AIN’T GOTTA PRAYER OF WHOOPIN US! (laffs) I LOVE IT! EVER YEAR, U OF SMELL IDIOTS START TAWKIN ABOUT “WAIT TIL YOU SEE NEXT YEAR’S CARDINAL BIRDS TEAM!” (laffs) AND THEN U UH KAY SMASHES YOUR FACE IN AGAIN AND Y’ALL SNAGGLE TOOTH, NECK TATTOO, SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, GRAFITTI PAINTIN, WHISKEY FOR BREAKFAST CARDINAL FOOLS START CRYIN ABOUT “WAIT TIL NEXT YEAR!” (laffs) BUT THE TRUTH IS COACH CAL GOT U OF SMELL’S NUMBER.
Denny Crum still improves lives in Louisville
Hall of Fame basketball coach Denny Crum and his wife Susan are hosting the 51st Cystic Fibrosis Foundation celebrity dinner on March 9 at The Omni. We had a ball doing a live TV trial run with celeb waiters Shannon Burton (Duke basketball) and Jason Anderson (680 ESPN Radio). Denny Crum, he former University of Louisville national championship coach (1980, 1986), still works hard at community service projects. Coach's friends from the sports and media world show up at the dinner to serve as waiters and hosts. The ultimate goal is to raise hundreds of thousands of dollars to eradicate CF. Susan Sweeney Crum is a well-loved former broadcast journalist who worked with me in the 1990s at WHAS before moving
Duke rhymes with puke. How come them there Cats ain’t #1 yet?
THE BEASMAN uk beats tenn THANKS FOR NOTHIN, LOSERVILLE! (laffs) Y’ALL BUNCH OF BRAINLESS, SPINELESS, TWO BIT NECK TATTOO, SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, WHISKEY FOR BREAKFAST, MAKIN BABIES OUT OF WEDLOCK CARDINAL CONVICTS GOT A 99.9% CHANCE TO BEAT THEM ROTTEN DUKIES AND YOU BLOWED IT. (laffs) THE ONE DADGUM TIME YOU LOSERVILLE NITWITS GOT A CHANCE TO HELP THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS AND YOU FOLDED LIKE A TWO DOLLAR TENT. (laffs) THANKS FOR NOTHIN, YOU BUNCH OF CARDINAL FRAUDS! IF Y’ALL WOULDA TOOK CARE OF BIDNIZ AGAINST THEM DUKIES THEN U UH KAY WOULD PROBLEE BE #1 IN THE PO AFTER BLOWIN OUT THEM TENNERSEE WANNABES. (laffs) DID YOU SEE THE BIG BLUE NATION DOMMERATE TENNERSEE? (laffs) IT WAS AWESOME,
SADDEST KENTUCKY NIGHT EVER? Cats and Cards toasted at the final buzzer
COUNT IT!No. 19 LSU stuns No. 5 Kentucky ... AT THE BUZZER. #SCtop10 pic.twitter.com/M8LHpexYxV— SportsCenter (@SportsCenter) February 13, 2019 THE BEASMAN uk and u of smell torched at the buzzer (cry) I AIN’T HAD A WINK OF SLEEP, LARRY MINNER. (cry) IT FINE-LEE STOPPED RAININ BUT NOW THE EN-TIRE STATE OF KENTUCKY IS DROWNIN IN OUR OWN TEARS. (cry) WHY? WHY? WHY? (cry) THIS CAINT BE HAPPENIN TO US GOOD AND CLASSY BIG BLUE NATION FANS. (cry) COACH CAL GOT TO GO. HE DONE LOST THAT PRIZE REE-CRUIT TO DADGUM JARJUH ON MONDEE AND THEN THE CATS GIT JOBBED AT THE BUZZER LAST NIGHT CUZ THEM REFFERMARIES AIN’T AFRAID OF COACH CAL NO MORE. (cry)
The Beasman can’t kiss Coach Cal on his 60th because only U of Smell coaches mess around
THE BEASMAN cats rolling and duke is coming for u of smell HOW YOU DOIN, LARRY MINNER? SURELY ALL YOU SNAGGLE TOOTH CARDINAL FANS IS COMIN UP WITH GOOD EXCUSES FOR WHY DUKE BEAT YOUR BRAINS OUT. (laffs) LARRY, Y’ALL NEED TO LEARN HOW TO CHEAT LIKE DUKE DOES, YOU KNOW, LIKE PAYIN OFF ZION WILLIAMSTON AND NEVER GITTIN CAUGHT LIKE Y’ALL DONE DID WITH BRIAN BLOWHARD. (laffs) Headed back to the Bull City like 😁 pic.twitter.com/E02WTi9Lun— Duke Basketball (@DukeMBB) February 10, 2019 LARRY, IF YOU GONNA PAY OFF PLAYERS, AT LEAST PAY OFF THE GOOD ONES! (laffs) AST COACH CAL! HE TAKES THEIR MOMS TO CHURCH AND LET’S EM KEEP THE COLLECTION PLATE AFTER A BUNCH OF
Cats steamroll Kansas, butthurt U of Smellers hate on purdy Wildcat girl
THE BEASMAN uk beats Kansas HEY LAREEEEE! LARRY DADGUM MINNER! I LOVE THAT PITCHER OF THE U UH KAY FAN GIRL SHOWIN Ls DOWN AT THE KANSAS GAME. (laffs) THE CURIO JOURNAL GUY PUT THAT PITCHER ON THE TWITTER AND ALL THE U OF SMELL LITTLE BROTHER CRYBABIES LOST THEIR MINDS CUZ A PURDY WILDCAT GIRL WAS A-MOCKIN U OF SMELL EVEN THOUGH WE WAS PLAYIN KANSAS! (laffs) DON’T Y’ALL CROOKED TEETH CARDINAL FANS NEVER STOP WORRYIN ABOUT THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS? (laffs) Y’ALL SAID SHE WAS OBSESSIN’ ABOUT LOSERVILLE BUT Y’ALL THE ONES GOT BUTTHURT. (laffs) CRY, CRY, CRY! THAT’S ALL YOU LITTLE BROTHER, DUMPSTER FIRE, F.B.I. INVESTERGATION CONVICTS CAN DO CUZ YOU KNOW BIG BLUE