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The Beasman ain’t too pleased about Big Blue Nation outside looking in at the Final Four

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THE BEASMAN natl championship night
SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE ABOUT THE NATIONAL CHAMPERCHIPS GAME, YOU BALD HAIRED, TRAITOR TURNCOAT, BACKSTABBING U OF SMELL SUCKUP! ALL US GOOD AND CLASSY KENTUCKY WILDCAT FANS AINā€™T IN NO MOOD FOR JOSHIN, DADGUMMIT. THIS WAS POSED TO BE OUR NIGHT WITH ERRBODY SCREAMIN GO BIG BLUE AND TELLIN ALL THE OTHER SCHOOLS THAT THEY SUCK. IT FEELS LIKE THE GRINCH DONE STOLE OUR BLUE CHRISTMAS AGAIN, LARRY MINNER.

ā€œCOACH CAL FOR LIFEā€ BETTER GIT US A WILDCAT CHAMPERCHIPS NEXT YEAR OR ELSE HIS LIFETIME DEAL IS GONNA END. A LIFETIME CONTRACT IS ONLY GOOD AS LONG AS YOUā€™S ALIVE, DADGUMMIT! YOU HEAR ME, COACH CAL? DONā€™T HUMILERATE BIG BLUE NATION NO MORE WITH ALL THIS ONE-AND-DONE-BUT-NEVER-FUN EARLY FADEOUTS. WE IS THE CATS! WE POSED TO WIN IT ALL EVER YEAR CUZ WE IS THE BIG BLUE!

LATE TONIGHT SOME FRAUD TEAM IS GONNA BE CUTTIN DOWN THEM NETS THAT BLONG TO THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS. IT MAKES ME WANNA VOMIT JUST THINKIN ABOUT SOMEBODY ELSE GITTIN OUR TROPHY! LARRY, I GUESS U OF SMELL SCUMBAGS LIKE YOU IS A-LAUGHIN CUZ YOU GOT THEM VIRGINNY FRAUDS FROM THE A.C.C. IN THE CHAMPERCHIPS GAME. I DONā€™T KNOW HOW THEM WHITE BOYS GOT THAT FAR IN THE NC2A TOURNEYMINT WITHOUT PAYIN OFF THE REFFERMARIES.

YOU KNOW THEY SHOULDA CALLED THAT DOUBLE DRIBBLE IN THE AUBURN GAME BUT NAWWWW, ā€œLET ā€˜EM PLAYā€ THEM CHEATIN REFFERMARIES SAID. ITā€™S ALL A BIG JOKE ANYMORE, LARRY MINNER. AUBURN DINT GOT NO BIDNESS BEATIN U UH KAY BUT TYLER HERO TURNT OUT TO BE A ZERO.

IF AUBURN WOULDA TOOK HERO AND AUBURN WOULDA GIVE US THAT TALL FELLER WITH THE ARNGE HAIR THEN THE CATS WOULD BE LAUGHIN ALL THE WAY TO THE CHAMPERCHIP.

U UH KAY SHOULDA SPENT TONIGHT WINNIN, CUTTIN DOWN THE NETS, MAKIN FUN OF U OF SMELL, BURNIN COUCHES, AND PLAYIN BANJO MUSIC ALL NIGHT LONG. BUT NOW WE GOT TO WATCH FRAUDS STEAL OUR TROPHY AND THEN WAIT TO SEE WHICH OF OUR UNDER-PERFARMIN PLAYERS IS GONNA RUN OFF TO THE NBA. BYE BYE, PJ WARSHININ. YOU WERE GREAT. THANK YOU, REID TRAVIS FOR GIVIN US YOUR 5TH YEAR BEST. BUT THE REST OF Yā€™ALL FRAIDY CATS AINā€™T READY FOR THE BIGTIME CUZ YOU DONā€™T LIVE AND DIE FOR THAT TROPHY THE WAY US GOOD AND CLASSY WILDCAT FANS DO! WAKE UP, FRAIDY CATS!

COACH CAL, HE GOES TO MASS EVER DAY ā€“ COACH CAL DONE GOT HISSELF A LIFETIME CONTRACT THAT WE ALREADY WANNA TEAR UP. THAT WHOLE FLIRTATIOUS WITH U.C.L.A. WAS A STUNT TO MAKE U UH KAY PAY HIM MORE MONEY. WHAT A JOKE. IF U UH KAY WAS SMART, THEY WOULDNā€™T PAY COACH CAL NO SALARY TIL THEY SEE HOW THE SEASON COMES OUT. PAY HIM MINIMAL WAGE DURING THE SEASON SO HE CAN BUY HIS DONUTS AND COFFEE HE SAYS HEā€™S HOOKED ON.

KEEP THEM MILLIONS OF DOLLARS IN A TOTE SACK TIL THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS WIN THE NATIONAL CHAMPERCHIPS AND THEN PAY HIM HIS BIG MONEY. ā€œCOACH CAL FOR LIFEā€ IS A BAD PLAN. ITā€™S LIKE PAYIN YOUR COUSIN A SALARY FOR LAYIN ON THE COUCH AND EATIN YOUR GROCERIES WHEN YOU THUNK HE WAS GONNA PAINT YOUR HOUSE.

COACH CAL GOT TO PROVE HISSELF. HE BEEN HERE A DECADE WITH THE BEST RECRUITIN CLASS EVER YEAR AND ALL WE GOT IS ONE CHAMPERCHIPS. THESE TEXAS TECH AND VIRGINNY COACHES DONā€™T GIT PAID DIDDLY AND LOOK AT THEM TONIGHT. AND BRUCE PEARL IS A BARBEQUE BECKY RECRUITIN CHEATER BUT HE STILL MADE THE FINAL FOUR BY BEATIN COACH CAL. SO WHAT WE GONNA DO, CAT FANS?

WE GONNA LAY DOWN AND LET COACH CAL GIT LIFETIME MONEY FOR A ONE-HIT-WONDER CAREER? YOU GOT ONE YEAR, CAL. IF WE DONā€™T WIN IT ALL NEXT YEAR AND THE YEAR AFTER AND THE YEAR AFTER, PACK YOUR I-TALIAN SUITS AND RUN OFF. KINNY SKY WALKER IS READY TO STEP IN AND MAKE BIG BLUE NATION GREAT AGAIN. BUCEPT WEā€™LL DO IT WITH BLUE HATS. AWWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS!

90s Flashback: Pitino’s Bombinos stun Louisville again

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2019 NCAA Tournament, day one

THE BEASMAN cards lose
(crying) AWWWWW LARRY! (cry) M-M-M-M-ME AND ALL MY WILDCAT BUDDIES IS CRYING BUCKETS OF TEARS FROM SEEING YOUR FILTHY CARDINAL BUDDIES LOSE TO BABY PITINO. (cry) B-B-B-B-BUT (laffs) WE IS CRYING TEARS OF JOYYYYYYYY! (laffs) ZIPPITY DO DAH, ZIPPITY DAY. MY OH MY WHAT A WONDERFUL DAY! (laffs) I BEEN GIGGLIN LIKE A SCHOOL GIRL SINCE MINNERSOTA HIT THEIR FIRST THREE POINTER. (laffs)

THREEEEEEEEEEE! ERRBODY SAID ā€œMINNERSOTA CAINT HIT NO LONG SHOTS SO U OF SMELL DONā€™T NEED TO GUARD ā€˜EM!ā€ WELL HOW DID THAT WORK OUT FOR YOU SNAGGLE TOOTH, G.E.D. FLUNKIN, BRAINLESS, SPINELESS LOSERVILLE CARDINAL BIRDS? HOW BOUT MAKIN SOME KIND UH ā€˜JUSS-MENT AFTER YOUR OPPONENT MAKES 25 THREE POINTERS! IS BALDY MACK STOOPID OR WAS HE PULLIN FOR LITTLE PITINO TOO? (laffs)

THREEEEEEEE! (laffs) AND ALL YOU CARDINAL IDIOTS WAS WHININ ABOUT GITTIN A #7 SEED. YOU DINT DEE-SERVE TO BE A #16 SEED, YOU BUNCH OF FRAUDS. YOU SHOULDA BEEN IN THE N.I.T. ALL ALONG, YOU LITTLE BROTHER NOBODY HAS BEENS! (laffs)

I BET SLICK RICK IS BUYING DRINKS FOR EVERBODY OVER THERE IN SOME GREECE BAR. OR HE AT LEAST STOPPED TAWKIN TRASH TO THE YOUNG LADIES LONG ENOUGH TO LOOK UP AT THE T.V. SCREEN TO TOAST HIS BOY! (laffs) Yā€™ALL FIRED SLICK RICK AND HIS BOY COMES BACK TO FIRE U OF SMELL FROM THE NC2A TOURNEYMINT! (laffs) HAVE A NICE RIDE BACK FROM I-OWE-ERR, YOU BUNCH OF TRAILER TRASH, FISH HOOK IN YOUR EYEBROW, CROSS-EYED U OF SMELL REDNECK FANS! YOU KNOW WHAT U OF SMELL HAS IN COMMON WITH U UH KAY? WE BOTH EMBRACE THE ONE-AND-DONE! EXCEPT Yā€™ALLS ONE-AND-DONE IS TOURNEYMINT PLAY. (laffs)

photo: Herald-Leader

WELL CAT FANS, LETā€™S JUST ENJOY THE REST OF THE DAY! U UH KAY GONNA STOMP ON THEM ALBALENE BIBLE THUMPERS HERE IN A LITTLE WHILE BUT OUR WILDCAT PRAYERS DONE BEEN ANSWERED EARLIER WHEN NOBODY MINNERSOTA PUT ON A THREE-POINT CLINIC TO BREAK THEM CARDINAL HEARTS! PITINOā€™S BOMBINOS IS BACK AND THEY IS MAKING SAGGY PANTS, NECK TATTOO, BOURBON FOR BREAKFAST U OF SMELL CARDINAL FANS PACK IT IN ON DAY ONE! I LOOOVVVVVVEEEEE IT! (laffs)

THE PEOPLE OF I-OWE-ER SURE AINā€™T SAD TO SEE Yā€™ALL LEAVE! THEY DONā€™T WANT YOUR LOSERVILLE METH LABS AND HANDGUNS ALL OVER THEIR BEAUTIFUL STATE. SO TAKE YOUR RAP MUSIC, GOLD CHAIN, MISSPELLED TATTOO, SCUMBAGGY LOSERVILLE THUG FANS AND HIT THE HIGHWAY. I HOPE THE F.B.I. SETS UP A ROADBLOCK TO SCOOP UP HALF THE THUGS ON THEIR MOST WANTED LIST! THEY ALWAYS TURN OUT TO BE LOSERVILLE FANS! AND TELL THE LOSERVILLE MAYOR THIS AINā€™T NO TIME TO CUT BACK ON THE NUMBER OF COPS ON THE STREET. ANGRY CARDINAL FANS GONNA BE OUT THERE TORCHIN THE REST OF YOUR GHETTO CITY COME SUNDOWN! GO TO YOUR SAFE ROOM, LARRY! YOU KNOW, THE BASEMENT ALTAR WHERE YOU KEEP ALL YOUR POSTERS OF SLICK RICK AND YOU KISSIN UP ON BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN, YOU BALD HAIRED NANCY BOY TRAITOR TURNCOAT!

photo: Herald Leader

AND DONā€™T START ACTING LIKE YOU CARE ABOUT MY KENTUCKY WILDCATS CUZ WE DONā€™T WANT YOU! (laffs) TRUE BLUE WILDCAT FANS ONLY! NO BANDWAGON JUMPERS LIKE YOU, YOU BUTTKISSIN CARDINAL FRAUD! ALL Yā€™ALL SAD CARDINAL FOOLS CAN START ACTIN LIKE YOU CARE ABOUT GIRL BASKETBAW NOW. (laffs) AND AFTER U UH KAY WHOMPS ON ALBALENE CHRISTIAN TONIGHT, THEN WE GONNA START CHEERIN FOR ROBERT MORRIS TO KNOCK YOUR GIRLS OUT TOMORROW SO THAT THE CITY OF LOSERVILLE GOT NOTHIN! BUCEPT Yā€™ALL LOSERVILLE PEOPLE GIT TO SPEND NEXT WEEK CLEANING UP TRASH AFTER ALL THE LEGIT NC2A FANS COMIN TO TOWN WITH TEAMS THAT ACTUALLY KNOW HOW TO WIN! (laffs) BYE BYE LOSERVILLE! GO CATS! GO BIG BLUE! AWWWWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS!

The Catholic God is out to get Kentucky, can Coach Cal become a Protestant for better heavenly help?

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THE BEASMAN I hate cathlicks
I HATE CATHLICKS LIKE YOU, LARRY MINNER. ALL YOUR FAKE RELIGION BUDDIES THINK YOU CAN JUST GO GIT DRUNK AT THE MARDI GRAS AND VOMIT ALL OVER THE PLACE AND THEN GO TO CONFESSION AND ALL YOUR SINS JUST GIT WIPED AWAY LIKE A ETCH-A-SKETCH. TELL THE TRUTH RIGHT NOW, YOU CATHLICK FRAUD. THEM NOTRE DAME PHONIES LAID DOWN AND JUST LET THE NOBODY CARDINALS BEAT ā€˜EM, RIGHT? ANDRE MCGEE PROBLEE GIVE A HUNK OF CASH TO THAT POPE FELLER! THATā€™S HOW Yā€™ALL SINFUL CARDINAL BIRDS OPERATE.

YOU AND ALL THEM OTHER TOOTHLESS, BRAINLESS CARDINAL FANS MAKE ME SICK EVER TIME YOU MENTION THAT U UH KAY LOST. WE KNOW WE LOST, DADGUMMIT. YOU DONā€™T GOTTA KEEP SQUAWKIN ABOUT IT! YOU POSED TO SAY ā€œGO CATS, BEAT MISTERSIPPIā€ BUT NAW, YOU STILL TAWKIN ABOUT THE TENNERSEE DEE-BOCKLE. WELL I SEEN YOU ON TV SETTIN THERE AT YESTERDEEā€™S U OF SMELL GAME WEARING THAT RED SHIRT AND CHEERING FOR THEM FILTHY CARDINAL BIRDS. YOU POSED TO BE OBJECTIFY IN THE MEDIA, LARRY MINNER, NOT NO CHEERLEADER FOR U OF SMELL.

Mark, Terry, and Mike Meiners (2019)

Iā€™M GONNA FILE A COMPLAINT WITH THE FDIC TO GIT YOUR RADIO BROADCASTIGATOR LICENSED REVOKED, YOU BALD HAIRED FRAUD. THE ONLY BROADCASTIGATORS WHO IS ALLOWED TO CHEER FOR A TEAM IS ALL THE KENTUCKY WILDCAT LEXINUN MEDIA CUZ THE GUMMIT UNDERSTANDS THAT BIG BLUE NATION IS A IRRESTIBLE FORCE. SO MATT JONES AND OSCAR COMBS AND TOM BLEACH ALL GOT SPECIAL PERMISSION TO BE BIASED. BUT NOT YOU, BALDY. QUIT BOOTLICKIN THEM CRIMINAL CARDINALS, LARRY. ITā€™S A VIOLATION OF THE STATE LAW OF BROADCASTERGATIN.

Dwayne Sutton (24) and Jordan Nwora (33) defend against Notre Dame (March 3, 2019)

SAY ā€œGO BIG BLUEā€ RIGHT NOW TO PROVE YOU AINā€™T BIASED AGAINST THE CATS! (wait two seconds) SEEā€¦YOU CAINT DO IT, YOU FRAUD. Iā€™M GONNA TELL U UH KAY THAT WH&S IS TWO-TIMIN THE BIG BLUE CUZ THE CATS IS POSED TO BE YOUR PRIORITY TEAM. THEY NEED TO FIRE YOU AND LET SENATOR MATT JONES HAVE YOUR TIME SLOT, YOU CARDINAL FANBOY! U UH KAY COULD GIT YOU FIRED RIGHT NOW AND GROVER THE FAKE COP CAN EXCORT YOU OFF THE RADIO STATION PREMISES. MATT JONES WILL TELL THE REAL TRUTH ABOUT LOSERVILLE ON THE RADIO. THEN WH&S WOULD FINALLY BE A RADIO STATION FOR THE PEOPLE WHOSE MINDS AINT WARPED.

BIG BLUE PEOPLE IS GOOD CHRISTIANS WHO ACT DECENT AND LOSERVILLE FANS IS NECK TATTOO, RAP MUSIC, WELFARE CHEATIN, G.E.D. FLUNKINā€™ CARDINAL CONVICTS. O.K. YOU GOT ONE VICTREEā€¦Yā€™ALL IS STILL NOBODIES WHO OUGHT TO BE IN THE N.I.T. BUT I GUESS SINCE YOU BEAT THEM DRUNK CATHLICK NOTRE DAME LOSERS, NOW Yā€™ALL PROBLEE GONNA GIT IN TO MARCH MADNESS AS A #16 SEED. BIG WHOOPTY DO.

Iā€™M SURE YOU AND YOUR CROSSEYED CARDINAL BUDDIES BEEN GIGGLIN CUZ U UH KAY LOST A CLOSE ONE TO TENNERSEE. DONā€™T GIT TOO WORKED UP, LARRY. LOSERVILLE BEAT A BUNCH OF STUPID BEER DRINKIN, ROSARY BEAD RUBBIN, BINGO PLAYIN FAKE RELIGION CATHLICK HEATHENS.

JUST WAIT TIL Yā€™ALL PLAY VIRGINNY IN A FEW DAYS. YOU GONNA GO RIGHT BACK INTO THE BUZZSAW OF NOBODYLAND. AND I AINT FORGOT THAT TENNERSEE GAME SO Iā€™M MAD AT COACH CAL. I THINK CAL IS BOYFRIENDS WITH THAT TENNERSEE COACH NAME OF RICK BARNES. EVERBODY CAN SEE COACH CAL LAYS DOWN WHENEVER WE PLAY BARNES. THEM PRISON ARNGE WEARIN ROCKY TOP HILLBILLIES DONā€™T SESERVE TO BEAT THE CATS! WE IS KENTUCKY, DADGUMMIT! NOW THEY SAYS U UH KAY IS A #2 SEED! WHAT A INSULT!

LETā€™S GIT REX CHAMPMAN TO DO THE GAME COACHIN AND KEEP COACH CAL JUST FOR RECRUITIN ONE AND DONES AND THEN WE CAN BE A #1 SEED AGAIN! COACH CAL NEEDS TO STOP GOIN TO MASS EVER DAY CUZ PRAYIN TO THAT CATHLICK GOD AINā€™T HELPIN THE CATS WIN AND IT AINā€™T HELPIN NOTRE DAME BEAT THE LOWDOWN LOSERVILLE CARDINALS. FORGIT ABOUT MASS, COACH CAL. YOU NEED TO SWITCH TO THE GOOD KENTUCKY BABDIZ GOD LIKE ADOLPH RUPP AND ME PRAYED TO. THAT BABDIZ GOD GOT US ALL THEM BANNERS YOU SEE UP IN THE RUMP ARENER RAFTERS! NOW LETā€™S GO WIN THESE LAST TWO S.E.C. GAMES, GET OUR #1 SEED BACK, AND THEN RUMBLE THROUGH MARCH MADNESS LOOKIN TO KILL US SOME DOOKIES! WE IS U UH KAY! AWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS!

WATCH IT AGAIN: #3 Louisville beats #2 UConn

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The University of Louisville women’s basketball team has many Final Four appearances, conference championships, and stunning victories in showcase games.

photos by UofL Athletics

The only team they have not beaten is UConn. OK, Louisville beat them once in the 1993 postseason tournament but that was light years ago.

Cards head coach Jeff Walz has bolstered this once pedestrian franchise into a perennial power but he has lost to Connecticut six times. The Louisville program had lost 17 consecutive games versus UConn over the years.

That losing streak is OVER!

Asia Durr lit it up and her teammates came through like never before in dispatching UConn with its second lump of the year. UConn lost to Baylor a month ago and rarely loses twice during the regular season.

Terry Meiners and Asia Durr, WHAS studios, January 30, 2019

Add this victory to the city of Louisville’s Great Sporting Moments.

photos by UofL Athletics

UofL women finally beat UConn but The Beasman ain’t impressed

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photos by UofL Athletics

THE BEASMAN women beat UConn
OHHHHā€¦WOW! THE U OF SMELL SAGGY PANTS RAP MUSIC NECK TATTOO GIRLS WON AGAINST THE UCONN. BIG WHOOPTY DO! GIRL BASKETBAW! (laffs) Iā€™M SO SAD FOR YOU, LARRY. I MEAN, DADGUMMIT, LISSEN TO YOURSELF. (laffs) YOU IS ON THE LECTRIC RADIO ACTIN LIKE YOU IS BUCITED ABOUT GIRL BASKETBAW. (laffs) THIS HERE IS WH&S ā€“ THE BIGGEST RADIATOR STATION IN AMERICA AND YOU IS TAWKIN ABOUT GIRL BASKETBAW LIKE ITā€™S IMPARTANT! (laffs)

UConn coach Geno Auriemma

GENO AEREOLA DONE SAID HIS UCONN TEAM SUCKS SO WHY Yā€™ALL ACTIN LIKE YOU DONE SOMETHIN BIGTIME? Yā€™ALL IS STILL LITTLE SISTERS. YOU AINā€™T AS GOOD AS THE GIRL WILDCAT TEAM. SO SHUT YOUR CAKE HOLE ABOUT U OF SMELL GIRLS GITTIN LUCKY AGAINST A BELOW AVERAGE UCONN TEAM. (laffs) LOOK HOW FAR YOU SUNK, LARRY. YOU USED TO BE A PROUD KENTUCKY WILDCAT FAN, CELLAR-MABRATIN THE CATS GOIN TO THE FINAL FOUR AND WINNIN ALL KINDA CHAMPERCHIPS.

BUT NOW THAT YOUR GAY BOYFRIEND SLICK RICK DUMPED YOU AND RUN OFF TO GREECE, YOU GOT NOTHIN LEFT BUT BALDY MACK AND HIS BAD NEWS BEARS BEATIN NOBODY A.C.C. TEAMS AND DADGUM GIRL BASKETBAW. (laffs)

WHY DONā€™T YOU GIT GOVERNOR MATT BLEVINS ON HERE AGAIN LAFFIN ABOUT LITTLE KIDS FREEZIN TO DEATH AT SCHOOL BUS STOPS. HOPEFULLY AL ROKER WILL CALL YOU A NITWIT THIS TIME. (laffs) YOU IS BOTH A NITWIT AND NINCOMPOOP, LARRY MINNER. CALL HIM THAT, AL ROKER, CUZ LARRY DEE-SERVES IT! (laffs) I LOVE IT THAT MATT JONES IS SELLIN T-SHIRTS THAT SAY SOFT KENTUCKIAN. MATT JONES IS MAKIN MONEY OFF THE LARRY MINNER INNERVIEW. (laffs)

TYPICAL U OF SMELL IDIOT. DONā€™T KNOW HOW TO MAKE A NICKEL OFF A FUNNY PHRASE SO MATT JONES JUST YANKS IT AWAY FROM YOU AND LAUGHS ALL THE WAY TO THE BANK. LARRY, YOU KNOW MATT JONES GONNA BEAT SNITCH MCCONNELL FOR THE SENATORIUM AND THEN YOU AND REE-TIRED SNITCH CAN SET AROUND LOSERVILLE TAWKIN ABOUT GIRL BASKETBAW ALL YA WANT. (laffs) I LOVE IT. BY THE BY, AINā€™T NO WAY THEM HUSKY LOSERVILLE GIRLS GONNA WIN NO NATIONAL CHAMPERCHIPS CUZ THEY ALWAYS FIGGER OUT A WAY TO LOSE IN MARCH MADNESS. (laffs)

Dana Evans scored 20 vs UConn

THAT CRAZY COACH WILL PROBLEE PUNCH SOMEBODY OR ASIA DURR WILL RUN OFF TO THE CONVENT OR SOMETHIN BEFORE U OF SMELL CAN EARN A BANNER. (laffs) Yā€™ALL GOT A OPEN SPOT FOR A BANNER BUT THEM CARDINAL CANā€™T-NOTS WONā€™T BRING IT HOME. (laffs) JUST SET BACK AND WAIT FOR BOY BASKETBAW WHICH IS WHAT U OF KAY DOMMERATES EVER YEAR. COACH CAL ā€“ HE GOES TO MASS EVER DAY ā€“ COACH CAL IS WORKIN TO GIT ANTHONY DAVIS ON THE LAKERS AND THEN EVERBODY THINKS COACH CAL GONNA BE NAMED THE LAKERS COACH. (laffs)

Lexington Herald Leader photo

HE MIGHT DO IT AS LONG AS HE CAN KEEP COACHIN THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS AT THE SAME TIME! I MEAN, EVERBODY KNOWS COACH CALā€™S GOOD BUDDY LEE-BRON JAMES PURDY MUCH COACHES THE LAKERS ANYWAY SO CAL CAN STAY WITH THE CATS AND THEN HELP LOST ANGELES WHEN HE CAN. AWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! KENTUCKY GONNA HAVE THEIR WAY WITH FLORIDA TOMORRY. BUT OL U OF SMELL GONNA GIT A BIG OL DOSE OF REE-VENGE FROM THEM NARTH CARAMALINER TURD HEELS.

ALL US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS WILL BE PULLIN FOR THEM TURD HEELS TO SHUT DOWN THE U OF SMELL BALDY MACK BAD NEWS BEARS. (laffs) Yā€™ALL SUCK AND SO DOES THEM U OF SMELL WOMEN WHO GOT LUCKY AGIN UCONN. THE U UH KAY LADIES GOT CHEATED LAST NIGHT AGAINST SOUTH CARAMALINER BUT THEYā€™LL BE READY COME MARCH MADNESS. WHO IS YOU FOR IN THE SUPER BO, LARRY?

I DONā€™T REALLY CARE WHAT YOU THINK CUZ I KNOW TOM BRADY AND THE BLUE UNIFARMS OF THE NEW ENGLISH PATRIARCHS IS GONNA WIN IT ALL CUZ THEY IS ALL ABOUT THE BLUE! JUST LET ME KNOW IF YOU GONNA BE IN SOME SUPER BO COMMERCIAL FOR A GAY DATING APP OR BALD MAN WIG STORE OR WHATEVER CUZ I WANNA CHANGE THE CHANYEL TO THE VICTORIA SECRET UNDERWEAR PARADE WHERE I KNOW YOUR UGLY FACE WONā€™T SHOW UP! (laffs) GO NARTH CARAMALINER! BEAT LOSERVILLE SO ALL US CAT FANS CAN HAVE A HAPPY WEEKEND! YOU BUNCH OF CROSS EYED, SNAGGLE TOOTH, SAGGY PANTS, MAKIN BABIES OUT OF WEDLOCK, FOOD STAMP, BRAINLESS, SPINELESS, GUTLESS, WELFARE CHEATIN CARDINAL THUGS! GO CATS! GO BLUE! AWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! GRONKOWSKI FOR PRESIDENT!

FOXBORO, MA – NOVEMBER 03: Rob Gronkowski #87 of the New England Patriots reacts after a teammate missed a touchdown pass against the Pittsburgh Steelers in the first quarter at Gillette Stadium on November 3, 2013 in Foxboro, Massachusetts. (Photo by Jared Wickerham/Getty Images)

Suddenly college hoops in Louisville is a happy thing

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photo: Louisville basketball

The University of Louisville basketball team has been rough on the state of North Carolina so far this season. The Cards are blasting out from two years of scandal and despair like a space shuttle launch. First year coach Chris Mack has the Cardinals pounding through the ACC, winning 5 straight. That includes a total thrashing of highly ranked North Carolina in the Dean Dome and now a grinding victory of NC State’s Wolfpack.

Mo is back on Main Street and he’s rolling. Welcome back from hell, Card Nation. Who knew the good times would be back so soon?

Griff breaks down Chris Mack’s Cards, Donovan’s Jazz, and NBA dreams

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Darrell Griffith, December 3, 2018

Darrell “Doctor Dunkenstein” Griffith popped into the radio station to throw love at new University of Louisville basketball coach Chris Mack. Griff says Mack’s style offers players more creativity to improvise, a definite change from Rick Pitino’s more deliberate style.

Griffith also talked about the tedious tasks ahead for UofL football coach Scott Satterfield, the amazing artistry of Donovan Mitchell, and the cushy life of Utah Jazz players compared to his era.

Salt Lake City’s growth since Griffith’s playing days amaze the former Jazz star. He says Louisville would prosper immeasurably by snaring an NBA franchise, a campaign impeded by Pitino and former UofL athletics director Tom Jurich.

Darrell also talked about his new restaurant Griff’s, now open at 2nd and Liberty Streets just across from the Omni. Early reviews are very strong.

Donovan Mitchell wins 2018 NBA all star weekend dunk competition wearing a Darrell Griffith jersey

Lamar Jackson gets his first NFL start, beats Bengals

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The University of Louisville’s only Heisman Trophy winner Lamar Jackson got his first NFL start today. The Baltimore Ravens’ rookie phenom played very well to lead his team past the Cincinnati Bengals, running for 120 yards and passing for 150 more.

Ravens head coach John Harbaugh is pretty happy about his burgeoning star.

Cornerback Marlon Humphrey is amazed at Jackson’s speed and creativity on the field.

Lamar isn’t shy in the postgame media room.

The Beasman: Virginny brings misery on Main Street to Suckville

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THE BEASMAN va shocks Louisville – radio sketch Friday, March 2, 2018

(laffs) Iā€™M STILL LAUGHIN ABOUT THE VIRGINNY GUY HITTING THE THREE AT THE BUZZER TO BEAT LOSERVILLE. OH LARRY. (laffs) YOU GOT TO ADMIT THAT WAS A BIGGER LONGSHOT THAN KIM JONG UN SHOOTIN A NUKE-U-LAR MISSILE AND HITTIN THE STATUE OF LIBERTY RIGHT ON THE HEAD. (laffs) ALL US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS WAS KINDA HOPIN Yā€™ALL WOULD BEAT VIRGINNY SO WE COULD SAY WE BEAT Yā€™ALL BY 30 AND Yā€™ALL BEAT #1 SO THAT MEANS KENTUCKY IS THE BEST. (laffs) BUT THATā€™S OKā€¦IT WAS STILL FUN WATCHIN ALL THEM SNAGGLE TOOTH CARDINAL FANS CRY THEIR CROCKER-DOW TEARS THINKIN THEY WAS ABOUT TO BE SOMEBODY. BUT YOU AINā€™T.

WHEN YOU WOKE UP TODAY YOU CARDINAL CONVICTS HAD TO LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND SEE WHAT YOU SEE EVER DAY: A LOSER. Yā€™ALL HAD VIRGINNY RIGHT WHERE YOU WANT ā€˜EM BUT YOUR DUMB BUNNY PLAYERS FOULT A GUY BEHIND THE THREE POINT LINE. THEN YOUR GUY DING DONG DELL DID THE HARLEM SHUFFLE A-DANCIN BEHIND THE END LINE SO THEM VIRGINNY PEOPLE GOT THE BAW WITH LESS THAN A SECOND ON THE CLOCK AND DOWN TWO POINTS. BUT RUM DUMMY LOSERVILLE JUST STANDS THERE AND LETS THE VIRGINNY GUY THROW UP A PRAYER AND HE BANKS IT IN FOR THE WIN. (laffs) US KENTUCKY WILDCAT FANS LAUGHED AND PLAYED OUR BANJOES ALL NIGHT LONG.

THAT WAS AWESOME! LOSERVILLE FELT REAL GOOD ABOUT THEIRSELFS FOR MOST OF THAT GAME AND THEN VIRGINNY RIPPED THAT SCAB OFF THEIR TATTOOED NECKS AND GIVE ā€˜EM A JOLT OF PAIN THEY AINā€™T NEVER GONNA FORGIT. SAY IT WITH ME, LARRY! N.I.T.! N.I.T.! N.I.T.! YOU CARDINAL CRIMINALS HAVE HAD A REAL GOOD YEAR. THEY FIRED SLICK RICK AND REPLACED HIM WITH BOY PADGETT WHO CAINT CATCH A BREAK. THEN Yā€™ALL HAD TO TAKE DOWN THAT FRAUD BANNER AND THROW IT IN THE RIVER WITH MOHAMMER ALIā€™S OLYMPIC MEDAL. AND SO NOW YOU IS ON THE BUBBLE BUT IF YOU BEAT #1 VIRGINNY THEN YOU IS GONNA MAKE MARCH MADNESS. BUTā€¦.WHOOPS! THE WAHOOS DONE PULT THE RUG OUT FROM UNDER YOU WITH A BRILLIANT FINISH AND NOW U OF SMELL CAN PACK THEIR GUILTY BAGS UP FOR A QUICK VISIT TO THE N.I.T.! I LOVE IT! I GUESS YOU AND YOUR GAY BOYFRIEND SLICK RICK WAS WATCHIN UP ON BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN. WAS YOU RUBBIN SHOE POLISH ON HIS BALD SPOT AND TELLIN HIM HOW GREAT HE IS, LARRY? I BETCHA SLICK RICK LOVED IT THAT BOY PADGETT COULDNā€™T BEAT NO BIGTIME TEAMS THIS YEAR CUZ THAT MEANS THE FANS WILL CALL FOR SLICK RICK TO COME BACK.

BUT THAT AINā€™T GONNA HAPPEN CUZ THEM TWO PUMP CHUMPS GRISSOM AND POSTEL SAYS THEY IS PRESSURE WARSHIN ALL THE SCUM OUT OF U OF SMELL AND THEY DONā€™T WANT NO SLICK RICK OR TOMMY TURTLENECK COMIN BACK. ITā€™S OVER FOR Yā€™ALL CRIMINAL CARDINAL BIRDS.

via WDRB.com

JUST STAY IN N.C.2.A. PRISON AND WATCH YOUR KENTUCKY WILDCATS LIGHT IT UP FOR MARCH MADNESS. FLORIDER IS GOIN DOWN TO THE CATS, THEN WE GONNA WIN THE S.E.C., AND THEN WE GONNA BOWL OVER ANYBODY THAT GITS IN OUR WAY IN THE MARCH MADNESS.

LARRY, Yā€™ALL BE SURE TO PAY YOUR CABLE BILL AT THE LOCAL WHOREHOUSE SO YOUR CARDINAL PLAYERS DONā€™T MISS NONE OF U UH KAYā€™S EXCITING MARCH MADNESS VICTREES! AND AFTER WE WIN A NEW BANNER, WEā€™LL ASK THE N.C.2.A. TO GIVE US A EXTRA ONE SO WE CAN HANG THAT BEAUTIFUL BLUE BANNER UP IN THE YUM YUM RAFTERS WHERE Yā€™ALL SEEM TO HAVE A VACANCY!

(laffs) POOR LARRY. HE WAS JUMPIN UP AND DOWN THINKIN HIS CARDINAL HAS BEENS WAS GONNA FINALLY HAVE SOME GOOD NEWS BUTā€¦PSYCH! THAT VIRGINNY GUY HITS A BOMB AND SUDDENLY CARDINAL TOWN TURNS BACK INTO SUCKVILLE. I HOPE SOMEBODY PUTS UP BILLBOARD TELLIN YOU TO GIT OUTTA TOWN AND LET MATT JONES HAVE YOUR SHOW, YOU TWO BIT, CROSS EYED, SAGGY PANTS RAP MUSIC, WELFARE STAMP FRAUD! AWWWWW C-A-T-S! CATS! CATS! CATS!