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The Catholic God is out to get Kentucky, can Coach Cal become a Protestant for better heavenly help?

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THE BEASMAN I hate cathlicks
I HATE CATHLICKS LIKE YOU, LARRY MINNER. ALL YOUR FAKE RELIGION BUDDIES THINK YOU CAN JUST GO GIT DRUNK AT THE MARDI GRAS AND VOMIT ALL OVER THE PLACE AND THEN GO TO CONFESSION AND ALL YOUR SINS JUST GIT WIPED AWAY LIKE A ETCH-A-SKETCH. TELL THE TRUTH RIGHT NOW, YOU CATHLICK FRAUD. THEM NOTRE DAME PHONIES LAID DOWN AND JUST LET THE NOBODY CARDINALS BEAT ‘EM, RIGHT? ANDRE MCGEE PROBLEE GIVE A HUNK OF CASH TO THAT POPE FELLER! THAT’S HOW Y’ALL SINFUL CARDINAL BIRDS OPERATE.

YOU AND ALL THEM OTHER TOOTHLESS, BRAINLESS CARDINAL FANS MAKE ME SICK EVER TIME YOU MENTION THAT U UH KAY LOST. WE KNOW WE LOST, DADGUMMIT. YOU DON’T GOTTA KEEP SQUAWKIN ABOUT IT! YOU POSED TO SAY “GO CATS, BEAT MISTERSIPPI” BUT NAW, YOU STILL TAWKIN ABOUT THE TENNERSEE DEE-BOCKLE. WELL I SEEN YOU ON TV SETTIN THERE AT YESTERDEE’S U OF SMELL GAME WEARING THAT RED SHIRT AND CHEERING FOR THEM FILTHY CARDINAL BIRDS. YOU POSED TO BE OBJECTIFY IN THE MEDIA, LARRY MINNER, NOT NO CHEERLEADER FOR U OF SMELL.

Mark, Terry, and Mike Meiners (2019)

I’M GONNA FILE A COMPLAINT WITH THE FDIC TO GIT YOUR RADIO BROADCASTIGATOR LICENSED REVOKED, YOU BALD HAIRED FRAUD. THE ONLY BROADCASTIGATORS WHO IS ALLOWED TO CHEER FOR A TEAM IS ALL THE KENTUCKY WILDCAT LEXINUN MEDIA CUZ THE GUMMIT UNDERSTANDS THAT BIG BLUE NATION IS A IRRESTIBLE FORCE. SO MATT JONES AND OSCAR COMBS AND TOM BLEACH ALL GOT SPECIAL PERMISSION TO BE BIASED. BUT NOT YOU, BALDY. QUIT BOOTLICKIN THEM CRIMINAL CARDINALS, LARRY. IT’S A VIOLATION OF THE STATE LAW OF BROADCASTERGATIN.

Dwayne Sutton (24) and Jordan Nwora (33) defend against Notre Dame (March 3, 2019)

SAY “GO BIG BLUE” RIGHT NOW TO PROVE YOU AIN’T BIASED AGAINST THE CATS! (wait two seconds) SEE…YOU CAINT DO IT, YOU FRAUD. I’M GONNA TELL U UH KAY THAT WH&S IS TWO-TIMIN THE BIG BLUE CUZ THE CATS IS POSED TO BE YOUR PRIORITY TEAM. THEY NEED TO FIRE YOU AND LET SENATOR MATT JONES HAVE YOUR TIME SLOT, YOU CARDINAL FANBOY! U UH KAY COULD GIT YOU FIRED RIGHT NOW AND GROVER THE FAKE COP CAN EXCORT YOU OFF THE RADIO STATION PREMISES. MATT JONES WILL TELL THE REAL TRUTH ABOUT LOSERVILLE ON THE RADIO. THEN WH&S WOULD FINALLY BE A RADIO STATION FOR THE PEOPLE WHOSE MINDS AINT WARPED.

BIG BLUE PEOPLE IS GOOD CHRISTIANS WHO ACT DECENT AND LOSERVILLE FANS IS NECK TATTOO, RAP MUSIC, WELFARE CHEATIN, G.E.D. FLUNKIN’ CARDINAL CONVICTS. O.K. YOU GOT ONE VICTREE…Y’ALL IS STILL NOBODIES WHO OUGHT TO BE IN THE N.I.T. BUT I GUESS SINCE YOU BEAT THEM DRUNK CATHLICK NOTRE DAME LOSERS, NOW Y’ALL PROBLEE GONNA GIT IN TO MARCH MADNESS AS A #16 SEED. BIG WHOOPTY DO.

I’M SURE YOU AND YOUR CROSSEYED CARDINAL BUDDIES BEEN GIGGLIN CUZ U UH KAY LOST A CLOSE ONE TO TENNERSEE. DON’T GIT TOO WORKED UP, LARRY. LOSERVILLE BEAT A BUNCH OF STUPID BEER DRINKIN, ROSARY BEAD RUBBIN, BINGO PLAYIN FAKE RELIGION CATHLICK HEATHENS.

JUST WAIT TIL Y’ALL PLAY VIRGINNY IN A FEW DAYS. YOU GONNA GO RIGHT BACK INTO THE BUZZSAW OF NOBODYLAND. AND I AINT FORGOT THAT TENNERSEE GAME SO I’M MAD AT COACH CAL. I THINK CAL IS BOYFRIENDS WITH THAT TENNERSEE COACH NAME OF RICK BARNES. EVERBODY CAN SEE COACH CAL LAYS DOWN WHENEVER WE PLAY BARNES. THEM PRISON ARNGE WEARIN ROCKY TOP HILLBILLIES DON’T SESERVE TO BEAT THE CATS! WE IS KENTUCKY, DADGUMMIT! NOW THEY SAYS U UH KAY IS A #2 SEED! WHAT A INSULT!

LET’S GIT REX CHAMPMAN TO DO THE GAME COACHIN AND KEEP COACH CAL JUST FOR RECRUITIN ONE AND DONES AND THEN WE CAN BE A #1 SEED AGAIN! COACH CAL NEEDS TO STOP GOIN TO MASS EVER DAY CUZ PRAYIN TO THAT CATHLICK GOD AIN’T HELPIN THE CATS WIN AND IT AIN’T HELPIN NOTRE DAME BEAT THE LOWDOWN LOSERVILLE CARDINALS. FORGIT ABOUT MASS, COACH CAL. YOU NEED TO SWITCH TO THE GOOD KENTUCKY BABDIZ GOD LIKE ADOLPH RUPP AND ME PRAYED TO. THAT BABDIZ GOD GOT US ALL THEM BANNERS YOU SEE UP IN THE RUMP ARENER RAFTERS! NOW LET’S GO WIN THESE LAST TWO S.E.C. GAMES, GET OUR #1 SEED BACK, AND THEN RUMBLE THROUGH MARCH MADNESS LOOKIN TO KILL US SOME DOOKIES! WE IS U UH KAY! AWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS!

WATCH IT AGAIN: #3 Louisville beats #2 UConn

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The University of Louisville women’s basketball team has many Final Four appearances, conference championships, and stunning victories in showcase games.

photos by UofL Athletics

The only team they have not beaten is UConn. OK, Louisville beat them once in the 1993 postseason tournament but that was light years ago.

Cards head coach Jeff Walz has bolstered this once pedestrian franchise into a perennial power but he has lost to Connecticut six times. The Louisville program had lost 17 consecutive games versus UConn over the years.

That losing streak is OVER!

Asia Durr lit it up and her teammates came through like never before in dispatching UConn with its second lump of the year. UConn lost to Baylor a month ago and rarely loses twice during the regular season.

Terry Meiners and Asia Durr, WHAS studios, January 30, 2019

Add this victory to the city of Louisville’s Great Sporting Moments.

photos by UofL Athletics

UofL women finally beat UConn but The Beasman ain’t impressed

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photos by UofL Athletics

THE BEASMAN women beat UConn
OHHHH…WOW! THE U OF SMELL SAGGY PANTS RAP MUSIC NECK TATTOO GIRLS WON AGAINST THE UCONN. BIG WHOOPTY DO! GIRL BASKETBAW! (laffs) I’M SO SAD FOR YOU, LARRY. I MEAN, DADGUMMIT, LISSEN TO YOURSELF. (laffs) YOU IS ON THE LECTRIC RADIO ACTIN LIKE YOU IS BUCITED ABOUT GIRL BASKETBAW. (laffs) THIS HERE IS WH&S – THE BIGGEST RADIATOR STATION IN AMERICA AND YOU IS TAWKIN ABOUT GIRL BASKETBAW LIKE IT’S IMPARTANT! (laffs)

UConn coach Geno Auriemma

GENO AEREOLA DONE SAID HIS UCONN TEAM SUCKS SO WHY Y’ALL ACTIN LIKE YOU DONE SOMETHIN BIGTIME? Y’ALL IS STILL LITTLE SISTERS. YOU AIN’T AS GOOD AS THE GIRL WILDCAT TEAM. SO SHUT YOUR CAKE HOLE ABOUT U OF SMELL GIRLS GITTIN LUCKY AGAINST A BELOW AVERAGE UCONN TEAM. (laffs) LOOK HOW FAR YOU SUNK, LARRY. YOU USED TO BE A PROUD KENTUCKY WILDCAT FAN, CELLAR-MABRATIN THE CATS GOIN TO THE FINAL FOUR AND WINNIN ALL KINDA CHAMPERCHIPS.

BUT NOW THAT YOUR GAY BOYFRIEND SLICK RICK DUMPED YOU AND RUN OFF TO GREECE, YOU GOT NOTHIN LEFT BUT BALDY MACK AND HIS BAD NEWS BEARS BEATIN NOBODY A.C.C. TEAMS AND DADGUM GIRL BASKETBAW. (laffs)

WHY DON’T YOU GIT GOVERNOR MATT BLEVINS ON HERE AGAIN LAFFIN ABOUT LITTLE KIDS FREEZIN TO DEATH AT SCHOOL BUS STOPS. HOPEFULLY AL ROKER WILL CALL YOU A NITWIT THIS TIME. (laffs) YOU IS BOTH A NITWIT AND NINCOMPOOP, LARRY MINNER. CALL HIM THAT, AL ROKER, CUZ LARRY DEE-SERVES IT! (laffs) I LOVE IT THAT MATT JONES IS SELLIN T-SHIRTS THAT SAY SOFT KENTUCKIAN. MATT JONES IS MAKIN MONEY OFF THE LARRY MINNER INNERVIEW. (laffs)

TYPICAL U OF SMELL IDIOT. DON’T KNOW HOW TO MAKE A NICKEL OFF A FUNNY PHRASE SO MATT JONES JUST YANKS IT AWAY FROM YOU AND LAUGHS ALL THE WAY TO THE BANK. LARRY, YOU KNOW MATT JONES GONNA BEAT SNITCH MCCONNELL FOR THE SENATORIUM AND THEN YOU AND REE-TIRED SNITCH CAN SET AROUND LOSERVILLE TAWKIN ABOUT GIRL BASKETBAW ALL YA WANT. (laffs) I LOVE IT. BY THE BY, AIN’T NO WAY THEM HUSKY LOSERVILLE GIRLS GONNA WIN NO NATIONAL CHAMPERCHIPS CUZ THEY ALWAYS FIGGER OUT A WAY TO LOSE IN MARCH MADNESS. (laffs)

Dana Evans scored 20 vs UConn

THAT CRAZY COACH WILL PROBLEE PUNCH SOMEBODY OR ASIA DURR WILL RUN OFF TO THE CONVENT OR SOMETHIN BEFORE U OF SMELL CAN EARN A BANNER. (laffs) Y’ALL GOT A OPEN SPOT FOR A BANNER BUT THEM CARDINAL CAN’T-NOTS WON’T BRING IT HOME. (laffs) JUST SET BACK AND WAIT FOR BOY BASKETBAW WHICH IS WHAT U OF KAY DOMMERATES EVER YEAR. COACH CAL – HE GOES TO MASS EVER DAY – COACH CAL IS WORKIN TO GIT ANTHONY DAVIS ON THE LAKERS AND THEN EVERBODY THINKS COACH CAL GONNA BE NAMED THE LAKERS COACH. (laffs)

Lexington Herald Leader photo

HE MIGHT DO IT AS LONG AS HE CAN KEEP COACHIN THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS AT THE SAME TIME! I MEAN, EVERBODY KNOWS COACH CAL’S GOOD BUDDY LEE-BRON JAMES PURDY MUCH COACHES THE LAKERS ANYWAY SO CAL CAN STAY WITH THE CATS AND THEN HELP LOST ANGELES WHEN HE CAN. AWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! KENTUCKY GONNA HAVE THEIR WAY WITH FLORIDA TOMORRY. BUT OL U OF SMELL GONNA GIT A BIG OL DOSE OF REE-VENGE FROM THEM NARTH CARAMALINER TURD HEELS.

ALL US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS WILL BE PULLIN FOR THEM TURD HEELS TO SHUT DOWN THE U OF SMELL BALDY MACK BAD NEWS BEARS. (laffs) Y’ALL SUCK AND SO DOES THEM U OF SMELL WOMEN WHO GOT LUCKY AGIN UCONN. THE U UH KAY LADIES GOT CHEATED LAST NIGHT AGAINST SOUTH CARAMALINER BUT THEY’LL BE READY COME MARCH MADNESS. WHO IS YOU FOR IN THE SUPER BO, LARRY?

I DON’T REALLY CARE WHAT YOU THINK CUZ I KNOW TOM BRADY AND THE BLUE UNIFARMS OF THE NEW ENGLISH PATRIARCHS IS GONNA WIN IT ALL CUZ THEY IS ALL ABOUT THE BLUE! JUST LET ME KNOW IF YOU GONNA BE IN SOME SUPER BO COMMERCIAL FOR A GAY DATING APP OR BALD MAN WIG STORE OR WHATEVER CUZ I WANNA CHANGE THE CHANYEL TO THE VICTORIA SECRET UNDERWEAR PARADE WHERE I KNOW YOUR UGLY FACE WON’T SHOW UP! (laffs) GO NARTH CARAMALINER! BEAT LOSERVILLE SO ALL US CAT FANS CAN HAVE A HAPPY WEEKEND! YOU BUNCH OF CROSS EYED, SNAGGLE TOOTH, SAGGY PANTS, MAKIN BABIES OUT OF WEDLOCK, FOOD STAMP, BRAINLESS, SPINELESS, GUTLESS, WELFARE CHEATIN CARDINAL THUGS! GO CATS! GO BLUE! AWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! GRONKOWSKI FOR PRESIDENT!

FOXBORO, MA – NOVEMBER 03: Rob Gronkowski #87 of the New England Patriots reacts after a teammate missed a touchdown pass against the Pittsburgh Steelers in the first quarter at Gillette Stadium on November 3, 2013 in Foxboro, Massachusetts. (Photo by Jared Wickerham/Getty Images)

Suddenly college hoops in Louisville is a happy thing

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photo: Louisville basketball

The University of Louisville basketball team has been rough on the state of North Carolina so far this season. The Cards are blasting out from two years of scandal and despair like a space shuttle launch. First year coach Chris Mack has the Cardinals pounding through the ACC, winning 5 straight. That includes a total thrashing of highly ranked North Carolina in the Dean Dome and now a grinding victory of NC State’s Wolfpack.

Mo is back on Main Street and he’s rolling. Welcome back from hell, Card Nation. Who knew the good times would be back so soon?

Griff breaks down Chris Mack’s Cards, Donovan’s Jazz, and NBA dreams

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Darrell Griffith, December 3, 2018

Darrell “Doctor Dunkenstein” Griffith popped into the radio station to throw love at new University of Louisville basketball coach Chris Mack. Griff says Mack’s style offers players more creativity to improvise, a definite change from Rick Pitino’s more deliberate style.

Griffith also talked about the tedious tasks ahead for UofL football coach Scott Satterfield, the amazing artistry of Donovan Mitchell, and the cushy life of Utah Jazz players compared to his era.

Salt Lake City’s growth since Griffith’s playing days amaze the former Jazz star. He says Louisville would prosper immeasurably by snaring an NBA franchise, a campaign impeded by Pitino and former UofL athletics director Tom Jurich.

Darrell also talked about his new restaurant Griff’s, now open at 2nd and Liberty Streets just across from the Omni. Early reviews are very strong.

Donovan Mitchell wins 2018 NBA all star weekend dunk competition wearing a Darrell Griffith jersey

Lamar Jackson gets his first NFL start, beats Bengals

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The University of Louisville’s only Heisman Trophy winner Lamar Jackson got his first NFL start today. The Baltimore Ravens’ rookie phenom played very well to lead his team past the Cincinnati Bengals, running for 120 yards and passing for 150 more.

Ravens head coach John Harbaugh is pretty happy about his burgeoning star.

Cornerback Marlon Humphrey is amazed at Jackson’s speed and creativity on the field.

Lamar isn’t shy in the postgame media room.

The Beasman: Virginny brings misery on Main Street to Suckville

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THE BEASMAN va shocks Louisville – radio sketch Friday, March 2, 2018

(laffs) I’M STILL LAUGHIN ABOUT THE VIRGINNY GUY HITTING THE THREE AT THE BUZZER TO BEAT LOSERVILLE. OH LARRY. (laffs) YOU GOT TO ADMIT THAT WAS A BIGGER LONGSHOT THAN KIM JONG UN SHOOTIN A NUKE-U-LAR MISSILE AND HITTIN THE STATUE OF LIBERTY RIGHT ON THE HEAD. (laffs) ALL US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS WAS KINDA HOPIN Y’ALL WOULD BEAT VIRGINNY SO WE COULD SAY WE BEAT Y’ALL BY 30 AND Y’ALL BEAT #1 SO THAT MEANS KENTUCKY IS THE BEST. (laffs) BUT THAT’S OK…IT WAS STILL FUN WATCHIN ALL THEM SNAGGLE TOOTH CARDINAL FANS CRY THEIR CROCKER-DOW TEARS THINKIN THEY WAS ABOUT TO BE SOMEBODY. BUT YOU AIN’T.

WHEN YOU WOKE UP TODAY YOU CARDINAL CONVICTS HAD TO LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND SEE WHAT YOU SEE EVER DAY: A LOSER. Y’ALL HAD VIRGINNY RIGHT WHERE YOU WANT ‘EM BUT YOUR DUMB BUNNY PLAYERS FOULT A GUY BEHIND THE THREE POINT LINE. THEN YOUR GUY DING DONG DELL DID THE HARLEM SHUFFLE A-DANCIN BEHIND THE END LINE SO THEM VIRGINNY PEOPLE GOT THE BAW WITH LESS THAN A SECOND ON THE CLOCK AND DOWN TWO POINTS. BUT RUM DUMMY LOSERVILLE JUST STANDS THERE AND LETS THE VIRGINNY GUY THROW UP A PRAYER AND HE BANKS IT IN FOR THE WIN. (laffs) US KENTUCKY WILDCAT FANS LAUGHED AND PLAYED OUR BANJOES ALL NIGHT LONG.

THAT WAS AWESOME! LOSERVILLE FELT REAL GOOD ABOUT THEIRSELFS FOR MOST OF THAT GAME AND THEN VIRGINNY RIPPED THAT SCAB OFF THEIR TATTOOED NECKS AND GIVE ‘EM A JOLT OF PAIN THEY AIN’T NEVER GONNA FORGIT. SAY IT WITH ME, LARRY! N.I.T.! N.I.T.! N.I.T.! YOU CARDINAL CRIMINALS HAVE HAD A REAL GOOD YEAR. THEY FIRED SLICK RICK AND REPLACED HIM WITH BOY PADGETT WHO CAINT CATCH A BREAK. THEN Y’ALL HAD TO TAKE DOWN THAT FRAUD BANNER AND THROW IT IN THE RIVER WITH MOHAMMER ALI’S OLYMPIC MEDAL. AND SO NOW YOU IS ON THE BUBBLE BUT IF YOU BEAT #1 VIRGINNY THEN YOU IS GONNA MAKE MARCH MADNESS. BUT….WHOOPS! THE WAHOOS DONE PULT THE RUG OUT FROM UNDER YOU WITH A BRILLIANT FINISH AND NOW U OF SMELL CAN PACK THEIR GUILTY BAGS UP FOR A QUICK VISIT TO THE N.I.T.! I LOVE IT! I GUESS YOU AND YOUR GAY BOYFRIEND SLICK RICK WAS WATCHIN UP ON BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN. WAS YOU RUBBIN SHOE POLISH ON HIS BALD SPOT AND TELLIN HIM HOW GREAT HE IS, LARRY? I BETCHA SLICK RICK LOVED IT THAT BOY PADGETT COULDN’T BEAT NO BIGTIME TEAMS THIS YEAR CUZ THAT MEANS THE FANS WILL CALL FOR SLICK RICK TO COME BACK.

BUT THAT AIN’T GONNA HAPPEN CUZ THEM TWO PUMP CHUMPS GRISSOM AND POSTEL SAYS THEY IS PRESSURE WARSHIN ALL THE SCUM OUT OF U OF SMELL AND THEY DON’T WANT NO SLICK RICK OR TOMMY TURTLENECK COMIN BACK. IT’S OVER FOR Y’ALL CRIMINAL CARDINAL BIRDS.

via WDRB.com

JUST STAY IN N.C.2.A. PRISON AND WATCH YOUR KENTUCKY WILDCATS LIGHT IT UP FOR MARCH MADNESS. FLORIDER IS GOIN DOWN TO THE CATS, THEN WE GONNA WIN THE S.E.C., AND THEN WE GONNA BOWL OVER ANYBODY THAT GITS IN OUR WAY IN THE MARCH MADNESS.

LARRY, Y’ALL BE SURE TO PAY YOUR CABLE BILL AT THE LOCAL WHOREHOUSE SO YOUR CARDINAL PLAYERS DON’T MISS NONE OF U UH KAY’S EXCITING MARCH MADNESS VICTREES! AND AFTER WE WIN A NEW BANNER, WE’LL ASK THE N.C.2.A. TO GIVE US A EXTRA ONE SO WE CAN HANG THAT BEAUTIFUL BLUE BANNER UP IN THE YUM YUM RAFTERS WHERE Y’ALL SEEM TO HAVE A VACANCY!

(laffs) POOR LARRY. HE WAS JUMPIN UP AND DOWN THINKIN HIS CARDINAL HAS BEENS WAS GONNA FINALLY HAVE SOME GOOD NEWS BUT…PSYCH! THAT VIRGINNY GUY HITS A BOMB AND SUDDENLY CARDINAL TOWN TURNS BACK INTO SUCKVILLE. I HOPE SOMEBODY PUTS UP BILLBOARD TELLIN YOU TO GIT OUTTA TOWN AND LET MATT JONES HAVE YOUR SHOW, YOU TWO BIT, CROSS EYED, SAGGY PANTS RAP MUSIC, WELFARE STAMP FRAUD! AWWWWW C-A-T-S! CATS! CATS! CATS!

The Beasman is ready to smackdown Northwestern Airlines after smashing the Cardinal crybabies

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THE BEASMAN cats bowl and cards lose
GO BIG BLUE! GO BIG BLUE! AWWWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! DOUBLE DIPPIN’ WILDCATS ON DEE-CEMBER 29, CAT FANS! TWO BIG BLUE BLOWOUTS IN ONE DAY! WE GONNA DESTROY THE CRIMINAL CARDINAL BIRDS AT 1 O’CLOCK AND THEN LATER THE STOOPS TROOPS GONNA PUT A SMACKDOWN ON ONE OF THEM DIE-RECTIONAL COLLEGES…SOMETHIN CALLED THE NARTHWESTERN. AIN’T THAT A AIRLINE?

ALL US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS GIT TO DRIVE TO NASHVILLE FOR OUR BO GAME BUT THE DIRTY BIRDS GOT TO GIT ALL THE WAY TO FLARIDER FOR THEIRS…WHERE THEY GONNA LOSE TO ANOTHER S.E.C. SCHOOL. AND THEN BOBBY PETRINKO GONNA GIT FIRED NO MATTER IF HE WINS OR LOSES CUZ THE NEW U OF SMELL BOSSES IS PRESSURE WARSHING ALL THE SCUMBAGS OUTTA TOWN FOREVER! (laffs)

AWWWW…POOR LITTLE CARDINAL BASKETBAW BIRDS. THEY DONE LOSTED TWO IN A ROW. LITTLE BITTY SEATON HALL DONE GOT ‘EM YESTERDEE IN THE EMPTY CHICKEN BUCKET. TOO BAD, SO SAD. BUT LARRY, THEM FEW CARDINAL FANS WHO STILL GO TO YOUR GAMES CAN AT LEAST STRETCH OUT OVER FOUR OR FIVE SEATS CUZ AIN’T NOBODY ELSE IN THEIR ROW. Y’ALL OUGHT TO HANG LAUNDRY ON ALL THEM EMPTY SEATS, LITTLE BUDDY. ON TV, IT LOOKS LIKE THEY IS SHOWIN THE PREGAME SHOW CUZ AIN’T NOBODY IN THEIR SEATS.

WHERE IS THEY ALL…UP ON THE CONCOURSE TRYIN TO GIT STUB HUB TO BUY THE REST OF THEIR WORTHLESS U OF SMELL SEASON TICKETS? (laffs) TELL LITTLE BOY PADGETT TO NOT HANG NO PITCHERS ON THE WALL IN THE HEAD COACH’S OFFICE CUZ HE AIN’T KEEPIN THAT JOB. BY THE TIME U OF SMELL GITS THE NC2A DEATH PENALTY, LOSES ALL THEIR SCHOLARSHIPS, HAS THEIR RECORD BOOKS COMPLETELY WIPED OUT, AND THE ONLY TV CHANNEL Y’ALL CAN BE ON IS THE PRISON NETWORK, THE ONLY COACH Y’ALL CAN ATTRACT WILL BE A PURSE…AND A FAKE ONE AT THAT! (laffs) YOU PROBLEE DINT THINK I KNOWED WHAT A COACH PURSE IS BUT THAT’S HOW WE SNEAKED MONEY TO GIT SAM BOWIE (laffs) OOPS! DID I SAY THAT OUT LOUD?

Joe B Hall and Terry Meiners, Rupp Arena, February 2017

DON’T MATTER NOW. COACH CAL IS IN CHARGE AND HE’S STRAIGHT UP. AIN’T NO SHERNANNER-GANS GOIN ON NO MORE AT U UH KAY NOW THAT YOUR CHEATIN BOYFRIEND LEFT THE STATE FOREVER! I LOVE IT! SLICK RICK FILES A LAWSUIT ASKIN FOR FARDY MILLION DOLLARS. HE AIN’T GOT A SNOWBALL’S CHANCE OF WINNIN A PENNY. PURDY SOON, YOUR BOYFRIEND GONNA HAVE TO COME BACK TO KENTUCKY TO LIVE IN YOUR BASEMENT CUZ HE’S BROKE FROM PAYIN OFF STRIPPERS, HIS BOOKIE, AND HIS LAWYERS. (laffs)

David Padgett

TELL LITTLE BOY PADGETT THAT LOSIN TO PURDUE AIN’T AS BAD AS SEATON HALL. BUT THEM CATHLICKS IS POSED TO CARE ABOUT THE POOR AND U OF SMELL IS SPIRITUALLY BANKRUPT. PADGETT BETTER NOT LOSE YOUR NEXT GAME AGAINST CUPCAKE COLLEGE CUZ U UH KAY IS COMIN UP SOON AND THAT AIN’T GONNA BE PURDY. (laffs) THEM DIRTY BIRD FEATHERS GONNA BE FLYIN ALL OVER RUMP ARENER AFTER OUR BIG BLUE SUPERSTARS SHOW Y’ALL CHEATERS HOW THE BIG BOYS PLAY. CATS BY FIDDY.

TELL THE CARDINAL BUS DRIVER TO KEEP THE ENGINE RUNNIN CUZ LITTLE BOY PADGETT AND HIS BAND OF NOBODIES GONNA WANNA RUN AWAY BY HALFTIME. DADGUMMIT, THEN Y’ALL CAN RUN DOWN TO FLORI-DER AND SAY BYE BYE TO LAY-MAR JACKSON CUZ AIN’T NO WAY HE’S COMIN BACK TO YOUR GHETTO TOWN NEVER AGAIN. SLICK RICK GONNA HAVE TO COME BACK TO GO TO COURT AND HEAR ABOUT ALL HIS SINS AGAIN. THEM LAWYERS GONNA PUT HIM ON THE STAND AND REMIND HIM ABOUT ALL HIS RESTRUNT LOVIN, STRIPPER POLE PARTIES, AND PRETENDIN LIKE HE DON’T KNOW NOTHIN ABOUT SHOE PIMP MONEY BUT A FIVE-STAR RECRUIT JUST FELL OUT OF THE SKY. OH SURE, SLICK RICK. TELL YOUR TAILOR TO MAKE YOU A PRISON SUIT.

BUT LEMME TELL ALL YOU SNAGGLE TOOTH, SAGGY PANTS, GANG BANG, HEROIN BREATH, GUN TOTIN, LIQUOR FOR BREAKFAST, NECK TATTOO, MAKIN BABIES OUTTA WEDLOCK, ATHEIST CARDINAL FRAUDS SOMETHIN. THE ONLY GUY NEVER STEPPIN FOOT IN KENTUCKY AGAIN IS LAY-MAR JACKSON. HE GONNA GO GIT NFL RICH AND TELL PEOPLE HE’S FROM FLORIDA. HE DON’T WANNA BE ASSOCIATED WITH NO U OF SMELL SCUMBAGGERY. HE ONLY SHAKES HANDS WITH HIS COACH IF HE’S WEARIN TWO SETS OF GLOVES! (laffs)

UofL severs ties with final two shoe scandal connections

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The University of Louisville threw a little more water onto its dumpster fire of scandals by releasing student-athlete Brian Bowen and assistant basketball coach Kenny Johnson today.

Kenny Johnson is no longer with the University of Louisville basketball team.

Bowen’s scholarship to attend UofL remains valid but he was told he will never play basketball for the Cardinals after the FBI revealed secret meetings about shoe company money being funneled to his family.

Johnson was terminated likely as another illustration by the school to the NCAA that it was cleaning house of the entire Rick Pitino leadership team, save for new acting head basketball coach David Padgett and a few support staffers.

David Padgett, Kenny Klein, Vince Tyra, and CJ sports writer Jeff Greer (photo: Sam Upshaw Jr Courier-Journal)

Rick Pitino tells me he is completely finished with coaching although he told ESPN earlier this week that (when he is proven innocent in the shoe company scandal) if any school approaches him about a coaching position, he will consider returning to the game.

Tom Jurich said on my radio show that several schools have contacted him but he will stay in the shadows for now.

With Jurich, Pitino, most of the assistant coaches, and several administrative departures, it appears that board chair David Grissom has only one immediate target remaining: football coach Bobby Petrino. Many suspect that Grissom – urged by Papa John’s founder John Schnatter – wants to completely clean house without forcing interim president Postel to get his hands dirty. That would also mean that David Padgett, originally part of the Pitino team, will be jettisoned by Grissom’s board next April after completing the current season.

Courier Journal, November 24, 2017

It’s Grissom’s show and Postel’s duty to kiss his ring in order to earn the official title of university president. Postel can claim he has nothing to do with these massive changes but in-house emails say otherwise.

Dr Greg Postel and board chairman David Grissom, October 18, 2017 (photo: Howie Lindsey)

For Pitino to land a 5-star like Brian Bowen, who hadn’t been on the radar screen, took Cards fans by surprise. Then when the FBI dropped its investigative bombshell citing payments to Bowen’s family, the massive meltdown from “scandal fatigue” crushed the UofL program and its fan base.

Rick Pitino on WHAS Radio with Terry Meiners, June 5, 2017

But why kill off Tom Jurich, the man who built UofL’s athletic department into America’s top growing program?

No one can answer that question other than board chair David Grissom, and he’s not talking.

iHeart VP Earl Jones, Tom Jurich, Tony Cruise, and Terry Meiners (November 2, 2017)

There is a paper trail indicating that Grissom and interim president Dr. Greg Postel have been slowly choking out the University of Louisville Athletic Association board, a support system in place for 30+ years. The plan would be for athletics leadership to report directly to the school’s board of trustees (see: Grissom).

And so now all UofL can do is wait for the final determination from the NCAA on the school’s appeal over sanctions from a 2015 dormitory stripper scandal. The shoe company meltdown came in 2017 while the NCAA was mulling over punishment for the earlier Level 1 infractions amounting to “improper benefits” for recruits and student athletes.

Will the NCAA be placated to spare the 2013 National Championship Banner? Odds say it will get the same treatment that Bowen and Johnson received and Petrino is about to receive. History.

Michigan guard Trey Burke (3) walks off the court as confetti falls on Louisville players, including Russ Smith (2), Luke Hancock (11), Stephan Van Treese (44) and Zach Price (25), after the NCAA Final Four tournament college basketball championship game, Monday, April 8, 2013, in Atlanta. Louisville won 82-76. (AP Photo/Atlanta Journal-Constitution, Curtis Compton)

Love letter from UofL to its beleaguered fan base

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One day after the University of Louisville fired Tom Jurich, the athletics department sent this letter to all fans via social media. Although new acting AD Vince Tyra (above) didn’t sign the note, it’s from him.

—————————————–

To our fans,

Thank you!

You are our heartbeat and our spirit. Your passion provides our student-athletes with an intangible strength to dream without limits and achieve the loftiest of goals. You lift them up — to give their best on the field, in the community and in the classroom. Your gift of loyalty, emotion and appreciation drives us and we wanted to reach out to simply express our gratitude.

This is certainly a challenging time in our program’s history, but your unwavering support empowers all of us to push forward in the face of adversity. We are working diligently to shore up our men’s basketball program and are confident that David Padgett and his staff will represent you and our university well this season.

You rejoiced in good times and have been stalwart in the tough moments. Our student-athletes have never needed your support more than they do right now.

True to form, as Louisville Cardinals, we will persevere. We will stand on the extraordinary foundation that has been laid and we will meet the goals set for our program: maintain the highest level of ethics, achieve superior results athletically and academically, provide best-in-class facilities and continue our path of success as a proud member of the ACC.

We are devout in our commitment to right our wrongs and make you proud. This is our imperative. It is our top priority to ensure that we drive this university forward and provide the very best for our entire community, especially our student-athletes.

It is our honor and privilege to serve you and to have you with us on this journey. We sincerely appreciate your continued support. It is our mission to represent the Louisville Cardinals in a manner that is emblematic of this great city.

Sincerely,
University of Louisville Athletics Department

GO CARDS!

Asia Durr