You are here
Home > Uncategorized > Cats beat #1 to become #1, fake Wildcat Bevin ousted for true blue Beshear

Cats beat #1 to become #1, fake Wildcat Bevin ousted for true blue Beshear

Tyrese Maxey debuted with 26 points in Madison Square Garden, November 5, 2019

THE BEASMAN bevin loses and cats win
HEY LAAARRRRRREEEEEE! (laffs) THE CHAMP IS HERE! THE CHAMP IS HERE! THE CHAMP IS HERE! (laffs) DID YOU AND YOUR BOYFRIEND SLICK RICK STAY UP TO WATCH THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS BEAT #1 TO BECOME #1? (laffs) THAT’S WHAT JUST HAPPENED, YOU BALD HAIRED, LOSERVILLE LOVIN, TRAITOR TURNCOAT, U OF SMELL FRAUD! (laffs) THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS IS NOW #1 IN AMURICA CUZ THEY PUNKED TOM IZZO AND HIS BIG TEN BORING 1950s BASKETBAW TEAM. CATS! CATS! CATS! BLUE GITS IN! BLUE GITS IN!

NEW YARK WAS FILT WITH WILDCAT FANS PARKIN THEIR CAMPERS IN CENTRAL PARK. TYREESE MAXEY IS THE WILDCATS NEW JOHN WALL! HE WAS JACKING UP THREES AND OL TOM IZZO JUST CRIED LIKE A LITTLE BEE-OTCH! CATS! CATS! CATS! (laffs) I DON’T THINK LAST NIGHT COULDA GOT NO GOODER WITH U UH KAY BEATIN #1 AND THAT FAKE WILDCAT GOVERNOR MATT BLEVINS GITTIN THROWED IN THE RIVER OF SHAME.

DADGUMMIT, WE WANT SPARTS GAMBLIN HERE IN KENTUCKY SO OUR RICH BOOSTERS CAN SET AT THE DINNER TABLE WITH THE WILDCAT PLAYERS AND TEACH EM HOW TO SHAVE POINTS! (laffs) THAT’S HOW WE DONE IT IN ADOLPH’S DAY! (laffs) GIT ON OUTTA HERE MATT BLEVINS CUZ YOUR BIBLE DONE GOT TOOK TO BLUE DEMMER-CRAT SCHOOL! (laffs) I LOVE IT! MATT BLEVINS WEREN’T REALLY NO KENTUCKY FAN, HE JUST COME AROUND RUMP ARENER NOW AND AGIN SO WE WOULD RENT IT TO HIM FOR A SCUMMY DONALD TRUMP RALLY.

President Donald Trump and Governor Matt Bevin, Rupp Arena, Lexington, Kentucky (November 4, 2019)

HOW’D THAT WORK OUT FOR YOU, FAKE CAT FAN! (laffs) OF COURSE, US GOOD AND CLASSY KENTUCKY WILDCAT FANS DO GOTTA GIVE MATT BLEVINS SOME CREDIT FOR PUTTIN PIZZA BOY SCHNATTER AND THAT DAVID GRISTLE GUY ON THE U OF SMELL BOARD SO THEY COULD FIRE SLICK RICK AND TOMMY TURTLENECK! (laffs) JOB WELL DONE, BLEVINS, BUT GET OUT OF THE BIG CHAIR NOW AND LET LITTLE ANDY BEE-SHEAR SET IN IT. HIS DADDY IS A TRUE BLUE KENTUCKY WILDCAT SO I KNOW ANDY WAS RAISED TO BE A CAT FAN TOO. (laffs)

photoshopped image inspired by the Courier Journal illustration that irked John Calipari

TRUTH IS, IT DON’T REALLY MATTER WHO’S THE GOVERNOR IN KENTUCKY CUZ WE ALL KNOW COACH CAL IS THE GUY WHO GOT THE MOST PIRE! (laffs) AIN’T NOTHIN HAPPENS IN KENTUCKY WITHOUT THE U UH KAY BASKETBAW COACH’S APPROVAL. IT DON’T RAIN IN LEXINUN UNTIL COACH CAL SAYS IT’S OK. (laffs) LARRY, DID YOU SERIOUSLY STAY UP AND WATCH THE CATS? THEY WAS AWESOME WITH HITTIN THEM THREES AND DUNKIN ON TOM IZZO’S SISSIES! I WAS LOVIN IT!

THAT MAXEY GUY WAS IMPRESSIN JOHN WALL AND KEVIN DOO-RAG WHO WAS WATCHIN IN THE STANDS. (laffs) U UH KAY GAMES ATTRACT ALL THE BIGTIME NEW YARK STARS. ALL LOSERVILLE GOT TO SHOW UP WAS THAT STUPID GUY FROM CADDYSHACK WEARIN A PIGGLY WIGGLY HAT. WHO CARES? HE WAS SO DUMB HE PUT DY-N0-MITE DOWN IN THE GOPHER HOLE AND BLOWED UP THE WHOLE GOLF COURSE. DAGUMMIT, JUST PUT YOUR SHOTGUN DOWN THERE AND BLAST THEM VARMINTS WITHOUT RUININ YOUR LAND!

LOSERVILLE BEAT NOBODY UNRANKED MIAMI AND Y’ALL IS ACTIN LIKE YOU BLONG IN THE TOP 5. YOU MUST BE SNIFFIN THAT MARYJUANA ANDY BEE-SHEAR JUST MADE LEGAL THIS MARNIN! (laffs) OOH BABY BABY, IT’S A WILDCAT WORLD! AWWWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! CATS! WE IS NUMBER ONE AGAIN! FARDY & OH! FARDY & OH! FARDY & OH!

Top