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THE BEASMAN – With Lamar Jackson beaten, is Lynn Bowden Jr the next savior of the NFL

THE BEASMAN lynn bowie jr for MVP
LARRREEEEEE! ALMOST EVER-THANG IS BEAUTY-FULL IN WILDCAT COUNTRY, LARRY MINNER! IT’S WILDCAT BLUE FROM SEA TO SHINY SEA! (laffs) COACH CAL AND THE CATS IS CLICKIN ON ALL CYLANTROS, HEADIN BACK TO #1. NOW ALL YOU SNAGGLE TOOTH, SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, GOLD CHAIN WEARIN, NECK TATTOO LOVIN U OF SMELL LOUDMOUTHS GOT TO SHUT YOUR CAKEHOLES ABOUT LAY-MAR JACKSON! (laffs) I LOVE IT!

LAY-MAR IS A FAILURE CUZ U UH KAY WILDCAT WESLEY WOODYARD AND HIS TENNERSEE TITANS WHOOPED HIM GOOD! (laffs) BLEEVE ME…LAY-MAR GONNA MEMBER THE TITANS! (laffs) THEM TITANS WEAR BLUE, TOO, NOT NO FUNERAL PURPLE LIKE LAY-MAR THE HAS BEEN! (laffs) CARDINAL FANS IS SAD CUZ THEY CAINT KEEP TAWKIN ABOUT LAY-MAR! NOW EVERYBODY KNOWS HE WAS A FRAUD! (laffs)

Notre Dame can’t seem to put away Louisville, January 11, 2020

AND U OF SMELL BASKETBAW GOT LUCKY AGAINST THEM DRUNK CATHLICK NOTRE DAMERS, SO THAT WAS SAD, BUT THEM CARDINAL CONVICTS CAINT NEVER BEAT U UH KAY, SO THAT’S HAPPY! (laffs) Ls DOWN! Ls DOWN! (laffs) THEM STOOPID DRUNK, FISHBREATH, ROSARY BEAD RUBBIN CATHLICK NOTRE DAME ROCKHEADS SHOULDA WHOOPED BALDY MACK AND THEM CARDINALS BUT THEY FOLDED AT THE LAST SECOND!

US KENTUCKY FANS WAS PULLIN REAL HARD FOR THEM POPE-LICKIN’ CATHLICK BEER-DRINKIN FOOLS BUT THEY LET LOSERVILLE SNEAK OUTTA THERE WITH A WIN. Y’ALL CATHLICKS GOTTA STOP LIGHTIN CANDLES ALL THE TIME! USE YOUR HANDS TO THROW THEM Ls DOWN! (laffs) Ls DOWN MAKES U OF SMELL PANIC AND THEN THEY LOSE! Ls DOWN! Ls DOWN! (laffs) MEANTIME, COACH CAL AND THE CATS GIVE ALABAMMER A BEATDOWN! (laffs)

ERRBODY AFRAID OF THE CATS! COACH CAL SAYS THERE’S 4 MILLION EXTRA U UH KAY COACHES AND OUR PLAYERS IS FINE-LEE UNNERSTANDIN WHAT THAT MEANS. BRING IT, CAT FANS! (laffs) U OF SMELL FANS AIN’T SMART LIKE GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS! BALDY MACK CALLED THE COPS CUZ ONE U OF SMELL FAN THREATENED TO KILL A CARDINAL PLAYER!

Jordan Nwora, December 2020

THAT AIN’T NOTHIN! US KENTUCKY WILDCAT FANS WILL TAKE A U UH KAY PLAYER’S EN-TIRE FAMILY HOSTAGE IF HE DON’T GIT A DOUBLE DOUBLE! (laffs) THAT’S HOW US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS ROLL! (laffs) GO BLUE! GO CATS! BLUE GITS IN! COME SEE ABOUT IT! COME SEE ABOUT IT! AWWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS!

NOW TONIGHT WE ALL GOT TO SET THROUGH A FRAUD FOOTBAW GAME…AIN’T NOBODY IN THEIR RIGHT MIND BLEEVES THIS HERE NATIONAL CHAMPERCHIPS GAME IS LEGIT SINCE KENTUCKY AIN’T ONE OF THE TEAMS PLAYIN. YOU KNOW THAT’S TRUE, LARRY MINNER! KENTUCKY WAS THE BEST FOOTBAW TEAM ALL YEAR!

L.S.U. IS KINDA GOOD BUT THEY OUGHTA BE PLAYIN S.E.C. SUPER-PIRE KENTUCKY WILDCATS FOR THE NATIONAL CHAMPERCHIPS, NOT NO A.C.C. TOY BOWL CHAMP CLEMSON TIGERS WITH A LONG HAIRED, DOPE SMOKIN, HIPPIE FREAK QUARTERBACK LIKE SUNSHINE LAWRENCE! AMERICA’S FAVORITE QUARTERBACK AIN’T SUNSHINE, AIN’T JOE BURNHOLE, AIN’T TOM BRADY…IT’S KENTUCKY WILDCAT LYNN BOWIE JUNIOR!

Lynn Bowden Junior taunts Louisville with Ls down

THE N.F.L. IS GONNA SHOCK THE WORLD THIS WEEK AND GU-NOUNCE THAT THEIR MVP IS LYNN BOWIE JUNIOR WHO AIN’T PLAYED A SNAP YET BUT THEY ALREADY KNOW HE’S THE GREATEST! THAT’S A FACT, YOU BALD HAIRED, U OF SMELL BOOTLICKER! NOW THAT YOUR LITTLE HERO LAY-MAR JACKSON BEEN BUXPOSED AS A FLASH IN THE PAN U OF SMELL FAILURE, THE WHOLE COUNTRY IS WAITIN FOR LYNN BOWIE JUNIOR TO SHOW UP AND SAVE PRO FOOTBAW! IT’S TRUE, DADGUMMIT!

LAY-MAR JACKSON GOT THROWED AROUND LIKE A RAG DOLL – REMEMBER THEM TITANS! REMEMBER THEM TITANS! – AND FORGIT ABOUT LAY-MAR! FORGIT ABOUT LAY-MAR! STICK A FARK IN HIM…HE’S DONE! THE N.F.L.’s GREATEST QUARTERBACK IN HISTORY IS JUST NOW ARRIVIN TO BE BETTER THAN BRADY, BETTER THAN YOUR GAY BOYFRIEND AARON RODGERS, BETTER THAN JOE NAMATH, TERRY BRADSHAW, RUSSELL WILSON, PATRICK MAHOMO, JOHNNY U-NITAS, AND Y.A. TITTLE. LYNN BOWIE JUNIOR IS WALKIN THRU THAT DOOR! COME SEE ABOUT IT! COME SEE ABOUT IT! GO CATS! GO BLUE! Ls DOWN! Ls DOWN! Ls DOWN! US CAT FANS CAINT STOP OBSESSIN ABOUT U OF SMELL! Ls DOWN! Ls DOWN!

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