THE BEASMAN cats lose to LSU T-T-T-TELL ME IT WAS ALL A BAD DREAM! (long cry) I CAINT GIT OUTTA BED TODAY C-C-C-C CUZ MY PRECIOUS KENTUCKY WILDCATS LOSTED LAST NIGHT. (cry) THAT NASTY L.S.U. PLAYER DID A 360 DUNK AT THE FINAL BUZZER TO MOCK THE CATS EVEN MORE! (cry) WHY, GOD, WHY? (cry) THE G-G-G-GOOD AND CLASSY KENTUCKY WILDCATS GOT DISRESPECTERCATED DOWN THERE AT L.S.U. (cry) THE CATS WAS LEADING BY 9 POINTS WITH TWO MINUTES LEFT AND THEN (cry) ALL HADES BROKE LOOSE! (long cry) THEM L.S.U. THUGS STARTED HITTING BIG SHOTS AND WE DINT HAVE NO TY TY OR NO SAVIOR TO HELP US! TY TY GOT THE CRAMP CRAMPS AND THE SAVIOR GOT HIS JAW JACKED
THE BEASMAN new UK coaches I HEARED YOU ON THERE A-MOCKIN THAT NEW U UH KAY BASKETBAW COACH “THE CHIN” FOR SAYIN MANY MANY MANY MANY MANY MANY MANY MANY MANY GOOD TIMES IS A-COMIN TO BIG BLUE NATION! LEMME TELL YOU SOMETHIN, YOU BALD HAIRED, STINKBREATH, PENCIL NECK, NOT FUNNY, OVERRATED, SNAGGLE TOOTH LOUDMOUTH U OF SMELL BUTTKISSIN NOBODY…IF THE CHIN EVER CATCHES YOU OFF BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN WHERE YOU LIVE WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND SLICK RICK, THE CHIN SAYS HE’S GONNA KNOCK THEM LAST TWO HAIRS OFF YOUR PUMPKIN HEAD! (laffs) Chin already working hard. Let’s let the good times roll! #BBN x #LaFamilia pic.twitter.com/bLvhWwnw4W— Kentucky Basketball (@KentuckyMBB) May 6, 2021 DON’T YOU LOWDOWN U OF SMELL CARDINAL BIRDS GO A-MAWKIN
For those in red, Christmas now begins on December 26. For those in blue, Christmas is over. The Louisville Cardinals (6-1) defeated the Kentucky Wildcats (1-6) in a seesaw matchup. Louisville led by 7 with less than six minutes remaining but Kentucky clawed back to tie it in the last minute. Kentucky 7-footer Olivier Sarr had a late shot to take the lead but the rim was unforgiving. Louisville's Carlik Jones was fouled as he scooped the rebound. Jones made both free throws to create the final margin, 62-59. A pandemic-spaced 3,000 fans witnessed the rivalry game at Louisville's KFC Yum Center. Is 2020 a bad year? Depends on whom you ask. Louisville coach Chris Mack was happy with the win but is still
In 1985, my radio career was soaring. I was co-hosting the hugely successful WQMF-FM morning radio "Show With No Name." My partner Ron Clay was a shrewd, sardonic, soured-on-life hippie guy. He was brilliant and always had something clever to throw out on the air. We could finish each other's sentences with goofy riffs about society, celebrities, and politicians. We did outrageous things. We used sound effects to make it seem as if we were broadcasting from around the world. We lied a lot. We giggled at each other's provocative setups. We were juvenile delinquents trapped in grownup bodies. Rude boys throwing conventional broadcast techniques out the window. Radio stations in Los Angeles, New York, and Philadelphia sent employment inquiries. None of those
THE BEASMAN we want bama WE WANT BAMA! WE WANT BAMA! GO BIG BLUE! GO CATS! BAMA IS GOIN DOWN! BAMA AIN’T NOBODY! THEY BUSPOSABLY IS RANKED NUMBER ONE BUT AMERICA AIN’T SEEN WHAT KENTUCKY CAN DO YET! WE IS BRINGIN THE PAIN TRAIN TO TUSCALOOSER! (laffs) WE IS KENTUCKY! WE’S THE BIG BLUE! AWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! WE DONE PUT A WHOOPIN ON THEM SMARTY PANTS VANDERSMELT NERDS BUT WE DINT USE NONE OF OUR GOOD PLAYS. NAW…WE SAVIN THEM FOR BAMA CUZ STOOPS KNOWS WHEN WE BEAT BAMA THEN WE IS #1! (laffs) WE GONNA CRUSH SABAN’S SISSIES BY USIN TWO QUARTERBACKS, THE ONE WHO CAN RUN DOWN LOW AND THE ONE WHO CAN PASS SETTIN UP ON HIS SHOULDERS!
Erin Calipari is the daughter of University of Kentucky basketball coach John Calipari. She regularly fights with people on Twitter. This one's a little stickier than others. Erin Calipari took offense to a social media post where Christi Mack, wife of University of Louisville basketball coach Chris Mack, applauded a post about supporting all of society, including police, during these tumultuous days of racial unrest. Erin Calipari deleted her clapback tweet less than one hour after posting it. Who in 2020 thinks it's OK to demand that a man put his wife in her place? Wut? Aren't you a Ph.D doing research at Vanderbilt? Did your husband say it was OK to go to college? Erin Calipari added this follow up: I’ve said this before
🚨 UPSET ALERT 🚨@GTMBB takes down No. 5 Louisville! pic.twitter.com/MH3EfLwcet— ACC Network (@accnetwork) February 13, 2020 THE BEASMAN Louisville loses (sing) I’M A RAMBLIN WRECK FROM JARJUH TECH AND A HECK OF AN ENGINEER! (laffs) HEY LAREEEEE! LARRY MINNER! I BEEN SINGIN THAT SONG ALL DAY LONG! (laffs) HOW’S YOU SNAGGLE TOOTH, LOUDMOUTH, BEER BREATH, SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, SANCTUARY CITY LOSERVILLE FRAUDS FEELIN TODAY? (laffs) EVERBODY IN BIG BLUE NATION IS REEEEEEEEEAAAAAALLLL HAPPY! Ls DOWN! Ls DOWN! Ls DOWN! (sing) I’M A RAMBLIN WRECK FROM JARJUH TECH AND A HECK OF AN ENGINEER! (laffs) ME AND MY WILDCAT BUDDIES WAS A-PULLIN REAL HARD FOR THEM JARJUH TECH TATTOOED UP ENGINEERS AND THEY COME THROUGH FOR US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS,
THE BEASMAN cats is back GUNS UP! Ls DOWN! GUNS UP! Ls DOWN! (laffs) OH LARRY, US TRUE BLUE KENTUCKY WILDCAT FANS KNOW HOW TO MOCK OUR OPPONENTS WITH HAND JIVE! (laffs) DID YOU SEE HOW OUR GOOD AND CLASSY KENTUCKY WILDCAT PLAYERS WAS MOCKIN THEM TEXAS TECH LOUDMOUTHS? WE TOOK THEIR “GUNS UP” HAND SIGN AND FLIPPED IT DOWN JUST LIKE WE DO TO U OF SMELL! SO NOW IT’S GUNS DOWN AND Ls DOWN! (laffs) I LOVE IT! THE CATS WON BIG ON THE ROAD SHOWIN THEM TEXAS COWBOYS THEY JUST A BUNCH OF BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN GIRLS! (laffs) OUR KENTUCKY PLAYERS WAS A-MOCKIN THAT CROWD DOIN THE GUNS DOWN SIGN! (laffs) I LOVE IT! YOU CAINT GIT
THE BEASMAN Louisville beats duke SHUT YOUR STUPID MOUTH ABOUT EVERBODY LOVES SEEIN’ LOSERVILLE BEATIN’ DUKE. I’M PART OF EVERBODY AND I DON’T LIKE IT ONE BIT, DADGUMMIT! Ls DOWN! Ls DOWN! Ls DOWN! IF BOTH TEAM BUSSES FOR DUKE AND LOSERVILLE WENT OVER A CLIFF, KENTUCKY FANS WOULD REJOICE BY BURNIN’ COUCHES! Ls DOWN AND DUKIES DOWN! Y’ALL BOTH DEVILS WHO OUGHTA BE BURNT AT THE STAKE LIKE MY GRANNY’S COUCH! THE ONLY TIME ME AND ALL MY WILDCAT BUDDIES CELLER-MABRATE IS WHEN OUR SAINTLY KENTUCKY WILDCATS BEAT DUKE! TRUE BLUE KENTUCKY WILDCAT FANS GIT SICK TO THEIR STOMACHS WHENEVER LOSERVILLE GITS GOOD NEWS. U UH KAY FANS ONLY CARE ABOUT U UH KAY! GO CATS! GO BLUE!
Started 2020 with a W in front of 20,396 Cats fans in @Rupp_Arena. You 💙to see these highlights. pic.twitter.com/Ws21BDDvYo— Kentucky Basketball (@KentuckyMBB) January 4, 2020 THE BEASMAN loserville losing streak (chuckling) ZIPPITY DO DAH, ZIPPITY DAY. MY OH MY WHAT A WONDERFUL DAY! (laffs) LOSERVILLE GOTTA LONGER LOSIN STREAK THAN I-RANIAN GENERALS HANGIN ROUND AIRPORTS! (laffs) Y’ALL CAN’T EVEN BEAT AN EGG! (laffs) U OF SMELL SUCKS SO BAD THAT CHRIS MACK GOT A JOB OFFER FROM ROOMBA! (laffs) YOU GOTTA LAFF AT MY FUNNY COMEDY JOKES, LARRY MINNER, CUZ AIN’T NOTHIN ELSE FUNNY ON THIS PATHETIC RADIO SHOW. (laffs) HAVE YOU SEEN THE NEW TOP 25 PO? SOMETHIN BLUE IS ON THE RISE AND SOMETHIN RED IS JUST BOUT DEAD!