THE BEASMAN uk beats tenn THANKS FOR NOTHIN, LOSERVILLE! (laffs) Y’ALL BUNCH OF BRAINLESS, SPINELESS, TWO BIT NECK TATTOO, SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, WHISKEY FOR BREAKFAST, MAKIN BABIES OUT OF WEDLOCK CARDINAL CONVICTS GOT A 99.9% CHANCE TO BEAT THEM ROTTEN DUKIES AND YOU BLOWED IT. (laffs) THE ONE DADGUM TIME YOU LOSERVILLE NITWITS GOT A CHANCE TO HELP THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS AND YOU FOLDED LIKE A TWO DOLLAR TENT. (laffs) THANKS FOR NOTHIN, YOU BUNCH OF CARDINAL FRAUDS! IF Y’ALL WOULDA TOOK CARE OF BIDNIZ AGAINST THEM DUKIES THEN U UH KAY WOULD PROBLEE BE #1 IN THE PO AFTER BLOWIN OUT THEM TENNERSEE WANNABES. (laffs) DID YOU SEE THE BIG BLUE NATION DOMMERATE TENNERSEE? (laffs) IT WAS AWESOME,
Tag: larry minner
UofL women finally beat UConn but The Beasman ain’t impressed
THE BEASMAN women beat UConn OHHHH…WOW! THE U OF SMELL SAGGY PANTS RAP MUSIC NECK TATTOO GIRLS WON AGAINST THE UCONN. BIG WHOOPTY DO! GIRL BASKETBAW! (laffs) I’M SO SAD FOR YOU, LARRY. I MEAN, DADGUMMIT, LISSEN TO YOURSELF. (laffs) YOU IS ON THE LECTRIC RADIO ACTIN LIKE YOU IS BUCITED ABOUT GIRL BASKETBAW. (laffs) THIS HERE IS WH&S – THE BIGGEST RADIATOR STATION IN AMERICA AND YOU IS TAWKIN ABOUT GIRL BASKETBAW LIKE IT’S IMPARTANT! (laffs) GENO AEREOLA DONE SAID HIS UCONN TEAM SUCKS SO WHY Y’ALL ACTIN LIKE YOU DONE SOMETHIN BIGTIME? Y’ALL IS STILL LITTLE SISTERS. YOU AIN’T AS GOOD AS THE GIRL WILDCAT TEAM. SO SHUT YOUR CAKE HOLE
U of Smell pulverizes the Turd Heels, Beasman flummoxed
THE BEASMAN UofL shocks UNC WELL HOOTY HOOTY HOO…THE CARDINAL BIRDS CAUGHT ‘EM A WORM. WOW! US BIG BLUE NATION KENTUCKY WILDCATS IS REEEEAAAALY IMPRESSED THAT BALDY MACK AND HIS BAD NEWS BEARS GOT EM A BIG WIN AGAINST THEM TURD HEELS. WHAT DID Y’ALL DO, SEND KATINEENER POWELL TO SPEND ALL NIGHT DOIN NASTY STUFF WITH THE NARTH CARAMALINER PLAYERS? (laffs) DID KENNY JOHNSON SHOW UP AND START HANDIN OUT HOUSE PAYMENT MONEY TO THEM TURD HEEL PLAYER PARENTS? (laffs) I WAS JUST KIDDIN ON FRIDEE WHEN I SAID I WAS PULLIN FOR THE TURD HEELS…US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS HATE NARTH CARAMALINER. BUT WE ALSO HATE Y’ALL SO IT’S TOO BAD IT WEREN’T A TIE! (laffs)
The Beasman can’t help but chuckle when U of Smell is feeling pain
THE BEASMAN notre dame beats women HEY LARRY MINNER, YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I HATE YOU CATHLICKS SO I WAS HALFWAY PULLING FOR YOUR U OF SMELL LADIES TEAM TO BEAT THE POPE’S SORORITY GIRLS LAST NIGHT. BUT I GOT OVER IT. (laffs) I JUST LOVE WATCHIN U OF SMELL TEAMS LOSE…I CAINT HELP MYSELF. EVER TRUE BLUE KENTUCKY WILDCAT FAN LOVES TO SEE LOSERVILLE IN PAIN. SO I HOPE Y’ALL LOSE TO THE COMMUNISTS, THE DEVIL, AND EXPESH-LEE DUKE. US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS CHEER FOR THEM ROTTEN DOOKIES ONLY WHEN THEY IS PLAYIN THE SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, NECK TATTOO, GRAFFITI PAINTIN, WELFARE STAMP, ILLITERATE, BRAINLESS, TOOTHLESS, SPINELESS, MAKIN BABIES OUT OF WEDLOCK LOSERVILLE CARDINALS.
U of Smell can’t shake the stank; Cats woke
THE BEASMAN lipscomb win I SEEN YOUR SOCCER COACH RUN OFF IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, LARRY. WHAT HAPPENED, DID Y’ALL SEND HIM A STRIPPER AS A CHRISTMAS PRESENT BUT HE HAD TOO MANY MORALS TO SMOOCH HER? (laffs) WE DON’T LIKE U UH KAY SOCCER, NEITHER, CUZ IT’S JUST A BUNCH OF STINKBREATH FUR-EN-URZ RUNNIN AROUND A COW PASTURE WITHOUT NOBODY NEVER SCORIN, JUST LIKE YOUR HIGH SCHOOL DATING LIFE, RIGHT LARRY? (laffs) POOR POOR LARRY. HIS PRECIOUS CARDINALS IS ALL WARSHED UP AND HIS BOYFRIEND SLICK RICK DONE FALLED IN LOVE WITH ANOTHER BALD GUY NAME OF DICK VITALIS. (laffs) IT’S JUST A SCUMBAG SCHOOL, PEOPLE. U OF SMELL IS SO GROSS
Louisville basketball beats Michigan State, are The Cats skeered?
THE BEASMAN Louisville beats Michigan State WELL…I GUESS YOU SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, NECK TATTOO, THUGGIN’ CARDINAL FRAUDS THINK YOU IS HOT SNOT NOW, HUH? WELL YOU AIN’T, DADGUMMIT! JUST CUZ YOU GOT LUCKY AND MICHERGAN STATE LAID DOWN AND LET YOU WIN LAST NIGHT DON’T MEAN THE U OF SMELL DUMPSTER FIRE IS OUT. (laffs) BIG BLUE NATION KNOWS WHAT’S UP…Y’ALL IS STILL SKEEZY, STRIPPER POLE, SHOE COMPANY MONEY, 15 SECONDS OF RESTRUNT LOVE, LYIN UNDER OATH CONVICTS. (laffs) THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS IS GOOD AND CLASSY, AND WE AIN’T SKEERED OF PLAYIN U OF SMELL IN A FEW WEEKS CUZ WE GOT GAMES AGAINST REAL TEAMS LIKE TONIGHT…WE PLAYIN SOMEBODY CALLED MON-MOUTH. I’M SURE THEY IS BETTER
Cats crush Cards and The Beasman claims Brohm and Rondale ain’t a-comin’
THE BEASMAN cats crush cards TOUCHDOWWWWWWNNNNNN KENTUCKY! (laffs) THE CATS IS STILL OUT THERE SCORIN, YOU BUNCH OF SAGGY PANTS, CROOKED TEETH, CROWN ROYAL FOR BREAKFAST, BRAINLESS, SPINELESS, GUTLESS LOSERVILLE THUGS! TOUCHDOWWWWNNNN KENTUCKY! AND THEY IS GOIN FOR TWO AFTER EVER TOUCHDOWN CUZ LOSERVILLE CAINT STOP A TODDLER FROM GETTING TO THE END ZONE! (laffs) I HOPE YOU U OF SMELLERS FINALLY ACCEPT YOUR FATE AS LITTLE BROTHER NOBODIES. Y’ALL COULDN’T BEAT A DIVISION 3 TEAM OF CROSS-EYED COMPUTER NERDS. (laffs) I HEARD JEFF BROHM JUST KISSED HIS PURDUE BOSS ON THE MOUTH AND SAID “PLEASE LET ME STAY. I CAINT DO NOTHIN TO FIX THAT LOSERVILLE DUMPSTER FIRE!” SO THEN PURDUE CUT JEFF
100% chance of a Blue Wave beatdown, Beasman chants DEAD MAN WALKING!
(laffs) TELL THE CARDINAL STADIUM CREW TO PUT ALL NEW LIGHTBULBS IN THE SCOREBOARD CUZ THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS BOUT TO LIGHT IT UP LIKE A CALIFARNIA WILDFIRE! (laffs) IF THEM CRABBY OLD PEOPLE THINK TOP GOLF IS TOO BRIGHT, THEY SURE AIN’T GONNA LIKE HOW STOOPS TROOPS GONNA TORCH U OF SMELL! (laffs) LARRY, LARRY, LARRY! THE MIGHTY KENTUCKY WILDCATS IS COMIN TO YOUR GHETTO TOWN TO FINALLY PUT THEM LOSERVILLE CARDINALS OUTTA THEIR MISERY. THAT TEMPORARY COACH WAS SO BAD THAT BOBBY PETRINO AST HIM TO BECOME ANOTHER SON-IN-LAW. (laffs) THAT NEW COACH IS SO WORTHLESS THAT U OF SMELL TRIED TO GIVE HIM ANOTHER $14 MILLION TO GO AWAY. (laffs) LARRY,
Cats caught in storm of poor performance, difficult for Beasman to mock U of Smell
THE BEASMAN cats and petrino lose again WELL LARRY, MAYBE YOU DONE THE RIGHT THING TO GO TRAITOR TURNCOAT AND RENOUNCE YOUR U UH KAY LOYALTY TO BE A U OF SMELL THUG FAN. IT’S A BITTERSWEET TIME TO BE A CAT FAN, I TELL YOU WHAT. NORM-ULLY I’D BE DANCIN A JIG CUZ THE U OF SMELL FOOTBAW SCUMBAG COACH BOBBY NECK BRACE GOT FIRED BUT THEN AS SOON AS I START GRINNIN I THINK ABOUT STOOPS TROOPS PLAYIN LIKE POOPS AND I GIT SAD AGAIN. (crying) WE DON’T WANT BAMA NOW! U UH KAY IS RANKED #20 AND FALLIN. AIN’T NO NEW YEAR’S BIG SIX BO GAME. BINNY SNELL AIN’T GITTIN NO HEISHMAN TROPHY. AND TERRY
Duke trounces Kentucky: it’s God’s fault
THE BEASMAN duke trounces cats (crying) D-D-D-D-DADGUM D-D-D-DOOKIES! (crying) WH-WH-WHAT IN THE S-S-S-SAM HILL IS C-C-C-COACH CAL DOIN? RATFACE MIKE SHIT-SHETSKI WAS GRINNIN LIKE A CHESTER CAT CUZ HE KNOWS HE GOT LUCKY LAST NIGHT. (crying) I WAS BITIN MY PILLER ALL NIGHT WONDERIN HOW ALL THESE GOOD AND CLASSY WILDCAT UPPERCLASSMEN GOT THEIR JAW JACKED BY A BUNCH OF YOUNG PUNK D-D-D-DOOKIE FRESHMANS. (crying) WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR VET-TRENS? IS THEY A BUNCH OF CANDY APPLE SISSIES WHO DON’T DEE-SERVE TO WEAR THE KENTUCKY UNI-FARM? DADGUMMIT, THE GHOST OF CHRISTIAN LAETTNER GOT US AGAIN. HOW DID THEM DUKE PUNKS BEAT, KICK, AND PULVERIZE US LIKE A BUNCH OF STREET THUGS IN A ANGELA LEET TV COMMERCIAL? WE GOT