THE BEASMAN six wildcats arrested I AINâT HAD A WINK O SLEEP WORRYIN IF ANY MORE KENTUCKY WILDCATS GONNA GIT SENT TO THE POKEY! (cry) I BOUT HADDA STROKE WHEN THEY SAID 6 U UH KAY FOOTBAW PLAYERS POINTED A GUN AT A LOYAL TRUE BLUE KENTUCKY WILDCAT FAN. I MEAN, IF THEY WAS PISTOL WHIPPIN A LOSERVILLE CARDINAL FAN, I COULD TOTALLY UNDERSTAND. BUT NAWâŠWE GOT US A BONER-FIED BIG BLUE BOO HOO! US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS LOVE TAUNTIN OTHER SCHOOLS WHEN THEYâS IN TROUBLE. BUT CATS POINTIN GUNS AT OTHER CATS AINâT GONNA WIN US THE NOBEL PRIEST PRIZE. (cry) OUR CLASSY CAT PLAYERS DONE BEAT UP SOME FRATERNITY PUNK BUT HE IS A WILDCAT FRATERNITY PUNK SO WE
Tag: university of louisville
The Beasman is stunned by the NBA draft aversion to choosing Wildcats
THE BEASMAN nba draft disaster ITâS ANOTHER DARK DAY IN WILDCAT COUNTRY, LARRY MINNER! (cry) WHAT KIND OF DRUGS IS THEM NBA COACHES SNIFFIN? I WAS SETTIN THERE LAST NIGHT BU-SPECTIN THE FIRST 3 PICKS TO BE THE U UH KAY KENTUCKY WILDCATS, RIGHT? YâALL BOUT TO PICK I-ZAYER JACKSON FIRST! THEN GONNA BE BRANDO BOSTON! NEXT COME OLIVIER SARR FROM U UH KAY! (cry) BUT NAWWWW! EVER TIME THAT BALD HAIRED, MEERKAT LOOKIN NBA COMMISH-NER WALKED UP TO THE PODIUM HE WOULD CALL OUT THE NAME OF A LOSER FROM SOME OTHER SCHOOL, NOT KENTUCKY! (cry) THEY TOOK GUYS FROM OKLAHOMO STATE, GONZAGGER, STANFORD, ALAMBAMMER, THE MEMPHIS Y.M.C.A. AND EVEN DADGUM TENNERSEE! THEY PICKED A DADGUM PUKE ARNGE TENNERSEE GUY
THE BEASMAN: If Coach Cal doesn’t beat his Catholic Notre Dame buddies, it’s curtains from Cat fans
THE BEASMAN cats losing streak continues (cry) THIS CAINT BE CHRISTMAS TIMEâŠITâS STILL HALLER-WEEN FOR KENTUCKY WILDCAT FANS. (cry) I CAINT BLEEVE WE PAY COACH CAL 9 MILLION A YEAR TO GIVE US THIS DUMPSTER FIRE! WE JUST GOT BOOT STOMPED BY A WINLESS NOBODY JARJUH TECH NERD SCHOOL! (cry) DADGUMMIT, WE IS BIG BLUE NATION! WE IS THE CATS! COACH CAL DONE MAILIN IT IN, LARRY! HE LOOKS LIKE A OLD HIPPIE FREAK WITH HIS LONG HAIR AND BEER BELLY. AND SO OUR U UH KAY WILDCAT PLAYERS IS PROLLY SNIFFIN THE POT LIKE THEIR HIPPIE HEAD COACH! DADGUMMITâŠTHE WILDCAT TRAIN DONE RUN OFF THE TRACKS! THE CATS IS MAKIN MORE TURNOVERS THAN BETTY CROCKER. THAT BIG TRANSFER FELLERâŠOLIVER SARRâŠHEâS OLIVER SORRY!
WE WANT BAMA! cried The Beasman ahead of a Crimson Tide beatdown of the Cats
THE BEASMAN we want bama WE WANT BAMA! WE WANT BAMA! GO BIG BLUE! GO CATS! BAMA IS GOIN DOWN! BAMA AINâT NOBODY! THEY BUSPOSABLY IS RANKED NUMBER ONE BUT AMERICA AINâT SEEN WHAT KENTUCKY CAN DO YET! WE IS BRINGIN THE PAIN TRAIN TO TUSCALOOSER! (laffs) WE IS KENTUCKY! WEâS THE BIG BLUE! AWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! WE DONE PUT A WHOOPIN ON THEM SMARTY PANTS VANDERSMELT NERDS BUT WE DINT USE NONE OF OUR GOOD PLAYS. NAWâŠWE SAVIN THEM FOR BAMA CUZ STOOPS KNOWS WHEN WE BEAT BAMA THEN WE IS #1! (laffs) WE GONNA CRUSH SABANâS SISSIES BY USIN TWO QUARTERBACKS, THE ONE WHO CAN RUN DOWN LOW AND THE ONE WHO CAN PASS SETTIN UP ON HIS SHOULDERS!
It’s Extremely Blue for Cat Fans When U of Smell Keeps Winning
THE BEASMAN u of smell still winning I AINâT NO SWISHY BOY BUT THAT BRAD PITT FELLER LOOKED DELICIOUS ON THE OSCARS LAST NIGHT. (laffs) I TURNT IT ON CUZ THE TV GUIDE SAID OSCARS SHOW SO I FIGGERED IT WAS OSCAR COMBS TAWKIN ABOUT OUR BELOVED KENTUCKY WILDCATS. (laffs) BUT THAT BRAD PITT MAYBE OUGHT TO BE THE NEXT COACH OF THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS SO ALL THE LADIES WILL KEEP BUYIN OVERPRICED RUMP ARENER SEASON TICKETS TO WATCH OUR NOT-EVEN-IN-THE-TOP-16 CATS! DEAR GOD, WHY YOU GOTTA HAVE THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS JUST PLAYIN MEDIA-OCRE? LIFE AINâT NO FUN WHEN U UH KAY AINâT RANKED TOP 5 AND NICK DICKS RICHARDS AINâT WORTHY OF BEIN A TOP TIN SINNER IN COLLEGE BASKETBAW!
Bad Dreams Beasman: are the Cats out of their nine lives?
THE BEASMAN u of smell happy times (cry) THIS HERE IS A NIGHTMARE TIME FOR US KENTUCKY WILDCATS! (cry) COACH CAL SUCKS AND U UH KAY ONLY GOT 8 SUPERSTARS AND WE CAINT BEAT SUCKY AUBURN! (cry) HOW COME WE DONâT GOT 15 MACK-DONNER ALL-AMERICOS? (cry) NOBODY TAWKIN UP BIG BLUE NATION BUT ERRBODY TAWKIN BOUT LAY-MAR JACKSON! (cry) IâM SICK OF HEARIN BOUT LAY-MAR IS THE GREATEST! (cry) We surprised Lamar Jackson with a special video right after he won MVP.His reaction is everything. @lj_era8 pic.twitter.com/VzeVLjBqcq— NFL (@NFL) February 2, 2020 AND THEN YOU GOT THE BALDY MACK WINNIN STREAK FOR U OF SMELL BASKETBAW AND U OF SMELLâS #1 FAN BILL MURRAY IN THE SUPER BO COMMERCIAL. HOW COME
Cardinals win at Duke, Cat fans unmoved, Beasman praying for March Madness rematch with U of L
THE BEASMAN Louisville beats duke SHUT YOUR STUPID MOUTH ABOUT EVERBODY LOVES SEEINâ LOSERVILLE BEATINâ DUKE. IâM PART OF EVERBODY AND I DONâT LIKE IT ONE BIT, DADGUMMIT! Ls DOWN! Ls DOWN! Ls DOWN! IF BOTH TEAM BUSSES FOR DUKE AND LOSERVILLE WENT OVER A CLIFF, KENTUCKY FANS WOULD REJOICE BY BURNINâ COUCHES! Ls DOWN AND DUKIES DOWN! YâALL BOTH DEVILS WHO OUGHTA BE BURNT AT THE STAKE LIKE MY GRANNYâS COUCH! THE ONLY TIME ME AND ALL MY WILDCAT BUDDIES CELLER-MABRATE IS WHEN OUR SAINTLY KENTUCKY WILDCATS BEAT DUKE! TRUE BLUE KENTUCKY WILDCAT FANS GIT SICK TO THEIR STOMACHS WHENEVER LOSERVILLE GITS GOOD NEWS. U UH KAY FANS ONLY CARE ABOUT U UH KAY! GO CATS! GO BLUE!
Ls Down brings an ailing girl joy so we can all agree on this playful poke
Young UK fan from Barbourville going through chemo treatments came because she wanted to throw Lâs down with âŠ@LynnBowden_1â© pic.twitter.com/lVxaWh76l4— Matt Jones (@KySportsRadio) January 17, 2020
#1 Cardinals validate their ranking with win over Michigan, The Beasman is getting skeered
Highlights from the Cards 58-43 victory over #4 Michigan.#GoCards pic.twitter.com/waLNa3ZjZq— Louisville Basketball (@LouisvilleMBB) December 4, 2019 THE BEASMAN cards win as #1 LARRY! LARRY! LARRY! I BEEN WANTINâ TO VOMIT ALL DAY HAVINâ TO HEAR ABOUT THEM NO COUNT, TWO BIT, WILDCAT WANNABE, PHONEY #1 U OF SMELL CARDINAL BIRDS WHOOPINâ MICH-ER-GAN! I SPENT ALL DAY YESTERDEE PRAYIN TO GOD, JESUS, ADOLPH RUPP, THE ELF ON THE SHELF, AND HOLY MACARONI THAT MICH-ER-GAN WOULD COME INTO THAT NASTY CHICKEN BUCKET AREN-ER AND KICK THE CARDINALS IN THEIR STOOPID FACES BUTâŠNAWWW. NOW WE GOT TO LISSEN ALL WEEK TO ALL THAT IGNERT CHIRPIN BOUT HOW LOSERVILLE IS SO GREAT AND HOW THEY DOMMERATED EVERBODY AND THEY AINâT LOST TO NO EVANSVILLE AND ALL
ONE AND NONE — The Beasman hopes the U of Smellers die two painful deaths this holiday weekend
THE BEASMAN two Cardinal deaths LARRY, LARRY, LARRY! (laffs) I HOPE SANTA CLAUS BRINGS YOU SOME BRAINS THIS YEAR! (laffs) EVERTHANG YOU SAY IS WRONG AND STUPID! (laffs) SHUT YOUR CAKEHOLE TAWKIN ABOUT U UH KAY NOT LIKIN DUKE LOSINâ LAST NIGHT! ALL US GOOD AND CLASSY KENTUCKY WILDCAT FANS LOVE WHEN DUKE LOSES, EVEN IF IT MEANS GOOD STUFF FOR LOSERVILLE. BIG BLUE NATIONâS MOTTO IS: âDUKE IN PAIN IS U UH KAYâS GAIN!â (laffs) Nate Bain's game winner was everyone's favorite play from the @SFA_MBB win over No. 1 Duke, but we want to hear from you 'Jack Nation. What was your second favorite play! Vote now!đ https://t.co/QuzhjhAKn8#RaiseTheAxe#AxeEm pic.twitter.com/rKsbPa1Ny6— SFA Athletics (@SFA_Athletics) November 27, 2019 POOR LITTLE DUKIESâŠCRYIN