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100% chance of a Blue Wave beatdown, Beasman chants DEAD MAN WALKING!

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(laffs) TELL THE CARDINAL STADIUM CREW TO PUT ALL NEW LIGHTBULBS IN THE SCOREBOARD CUZ THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS BOUT TO LIGHT IT UP LIKE A CALIFARNIA WILDFIRE! (laffs) IF THEM CRABBY OLD PEOPLE THINK TOP GOLF IS TOO BRIGHT, THEY SURE AIN’T GONNA LIKE HOW STOOPS TROOPS GONNA TORCH U OF SMELL! (laffs)

LARRY, LARRY, LARRY! THE MIGHTY KENTUCKY WILDCATS IS COMIN TO YOUR GHETTO TOWN TO FINALLY PUT THEM LOSERVILLE CARDINALS OUTTA THEIR MISERY. THAT TEMPORARY COACH WAS SO BAD THAT BOBBY PETRINO AST HIM TO BECOME ANOTHER SON-IN-LAW. (laffs) THAT NEW COACH IS SO WORTHLESS THAT U OF SMELL TRIED TO GIVE HIM ANOTHER $14 MILLION TO GO AWAY. (laffs) LARRY, U OF SMELL FOOTBAW IS LIKE A RACE HARSE WITH THREE BROKEN LEGS. IT’S ALL OVER. PUT ‘EM OUT OF THEIR MISERY.

DON’T Y’ALL CARDINAL FLUNKIES GOT NO SENSE? FAR-FIT THIS GAME RIGHT NOW AND SAVE YOURSELFS MORE BIMBARRASMENT. YOUR HEALTH INSURANCE COMPANY DONE CANCELED YOUR POLICY CUZ ALL THEM CARDINAL INJURIES GONNA BANKRUPT THE HEALTHCARE SYSTEM. FARFIT NOW, U OF SMELL. FOR ONCE, DO THE RIGHT THING WITHOUT HAVING A JUDGE FORCE YOU TO! (laffs)

STOOPS IS LICKIN HIS CHOPS TO TREAT U OF SMELL LIKE THEM SAUDI ARABIANS DONE TO THAT REPORTER. (laffs) BINNY SNELL SO MAD HE DINT GIT NO HEISHMAN TROPHY THAT HE’S GONNA TAKE OUT HIS FRUSTER-ZATION ON U OF SMELL.

AND BINNY SAYS HE MIGHT NOT EVEN WEAR A HELMET CUZ U OF SMELL CAN’T TACKLY NOBODY NO HOW. (laffs) TERRY TOUCHDOWN GONNA DO WHAT TIM COUCH DONE WHEN Y’ALL OPENED THAT PINK SEAT STADIUM. TERRY GONNA LAY ABOUT 300 POINTS ON YOU CARDINAL FOOLS IN THE FIRST HALF. STOOPS GONNA LET MATT JONES AND RYAN LEMOND CALL THE PLAYS IN THE 2ND HALF. WE MIGHT EVEN LET THE UK PLAYERS’ MAMAS COME IN AND PLAY THE FOURTH QUARTER INSTEAD OF THEIR SONS. (laffs)

KASH DANIELS IS STILL SO MAD ABOUT CAT FANS NOT FILLIN UP THE KROGER FIELD FOR SENIOR DAY. HE IS TELLING THE ALL-BLUE CROWD IN LOSERVILLE STADIUM THIS SAIRDEE TO DO A SENIOR DAY DO-OVER FOR ALL THE DEE-PARTIN WILDCATS. SERIOUSLY LARRY, WHAT IS LOSERVILLE GONNA DO WITH A HOUSE FULL OF WILDCAT FANS?

IF YOU WANNA MAKE BIG MONEY THEN HAVE THE CONCESSION STANDS SELL NOTHIN BUT MOONSHINE, SQUIRREL BURGERS, AND CHEWIN DU-BACCA. (laffs) MOST OF THE CAT FANS WILL BE PACKIN HEAT SO THEY CAN SHOOT AT THE NAMES HANGIN UP THERE IN THE CARDINAL RING OF HONOR. (laffs) POOR CARDINAL BIRDS. THEY MUST FEEL LIKE THEY IS GETTING READY TO GO TO THE PRISON ‘LECTRIC CHAIR. (shout) DEAD MAN WALKIN! DEAD MAN WALKIN! (laffs)

LARRY, DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THAT LITTLE DIVISION 3 SCHOOL THAT CANCELED NEXT YEAR’S FOOTBAW SEASON? EVEN THEIR LOSIN STREAK AIN’T AS LONG AS LOSERVILLE’S! (laffs) LARRY, WHY DON’T Y’ALL DROP DOWN TO DIVISION 3 AND TAKE THEIR PLACE SO THATAWAYS Y’ALL HAVE A CHANCE TO KEEP YOUR LOSSES TO UNDER 50 POINTS! (laffs) DEAD MAN WALKIN! DEAD MAN WALKIN! (laffs) OH, THIS HERE IS GONNA BE THE BEST THANKSGIVIN EVER. STOOPS TROOPS GIT TO CRUSH LOSERVILLE IN THEIR OWN HOUSE, THEN GO ON TO A BIGTIME BO GAME WHILE U OF SMELL STAYS HOME.

AND ALL US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS IS THANKFUL THAT THE F.B.I. INVERSTERGATION STILL AIN’T FIGGERED OUT WHATEVER COACH CAL IS DOIN TO RECRUIT A NEW ONE-AND-DONE ALL-STAR LINEUP EVER YEAR WITHOUT NOBODY TELLIN ABOUT CASH PAYMENTS! (laffs) SINCE Y’ALL IGNERNT LOSERVILLE FANS AIN’T SMART ENOUGH TO FARFIT, BUCKLE UP YOUR CHINSTRAPS. YOU BUNCH OF CROSS-EYED, REDNECK, STINKBREATH, SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, GOD HATIN, DRUG TAKIN, FOOD STAMP CASHIN, SPINELESS, GUTLESS, GRAFFITI PAINTIN, ILLITERATE, RAPIN, ROBBIN, RABBLE-ROUSIN LOSERVILLE THUGS BOUT TO LEARN WHAT A DOMMERATIN BLUE WAVE IS ALL ABOUT!

LIKE THEY TODE THEM CALIFARNIA HIPPIES WHEN THE FIRE WAS COMIN: GIT OUT NOW OR YOU BOUT TO DIE! (laffs) AWWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! THE BLUE WAVE IS BOUT TO FLOOD YOUR GHETTO TOWN AND GIVE IT THE BATH IT NEEDS! AWWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS!

Cats caught in storm of poor performance, difficult for Beasman to mock U of Smell

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THE BEASMAN cats and petrino lose again
WELL LARRY, MAYBE YOU DONE THE RIGHT THING TO GO TRAITOR TURNCOAT AND RENOUNCE YOUR U UH KAY LOYALTY TO BE A U OF SMELL THUG FAN. IT’S A BITTERSWEET TIME TO BE A CAT FAN, I TELL YOU WHAT. NORM-ULLY I’D BE DANCIN A JIG CUZ THE U OF SMELL FOOTBAW SCUMBAG COACH BOBBY NECK BRACE GOT FIRED BUT THEN AS SOON AS I START GRINNIN I THINK ABOUT STOOPS TROOPS PLAYIN LIKE POOPS AND I GIT SAD AGAIN. (crying)

WE DON’T WANT BAMA NOW! U UH KAY IS RANKED #20 AND FALLIN. AIN’T NO NEW YEAR’S BIG SIX BO GAME. BINNY SNELL AIN’T GITTIN NO HEISHMAN TROPHY. AND TERRY TOUCHDOWN IS NOW TERRY LETDOWN. (crying) IT’S A BAD TIME FOR ME, LARRY, CUZ COACH CAL’S CATS SUCK, TOO. WHAT IN THE SAM HILL IS A-GOIN ON RIGHT NOW? THE OTHER NIGHT COACH CAL WAS STRUGGLIN TO BEAT THE NOBODY SUCKY SALUKIS. DADGUMMIT, WE IS KENTUCKY. (crying)

WHY IS WE HAVIN TO EVEN BREAK A SWEAT AGAINST SOME SCHOOL FOR MIDGETS WHO AIN’T GOT NO BIDNIZ EVEN THINKIN THEY CAN HANG WITH U UH KAY? BUT THEY RAN WITH US LIKE WE IS SOME DIE-RECTIONAL SCHOOL INSTEAD OF THE LEGENDARY KENTUCKY WILDCATS. HAS THE WORLD GONE CRAZY, LARRY? IF COACH CAL DON’T GIT THESE HERE WILDCATS PLAYIN LIKE MEN THEN HE CAN CLIMB ON THE BACK OF BOBBY PETRINKO’S MOTOR-SICKLE AND RIDE AWAY WITH HIM.

US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS AIN’T IN NO MOOD FOR JOSHIN RIGHT NOW CUZ WE WAS EXPECTER-CATIN’ TO WIN THE FOOTBAW NATIONAL CHAMPERCHIPS. WE LOSTED TO JARJUH SO THEN WE WAS GONNA SHOW THE WORLD BY BEATIN THE VOLS. BUT THEM TENNERSEE HILLBILLIES DONE PUT A SMACKDOWN ON THE CATS AND POPPED OUR BALLOON AGAIN! (crying) DADGUMMIT, WE AIN’T BEAT THEM PRISON UNI-FARM WEARING TENNERSEE FRAUDS SINCE FRAN CURCI WAS GITTIN JIGGY WITH THE U UH KAY CHEERLEADERS IN THE 1940s. (crying)

WE SUCK IN FOOTBAW AND WE SUCK IN BASKETBAW AND U OF SMELL IS SO TURRIBLE THERE AIN’T NO BU-CITEMENT BEATIN THEM CUZ EVERBODY DOES. THANKSGIVING GONNA BE HARRIBLE THIS YEAR CUZ THERE AIN’T NOTHIN TO THANK GOD FOR. THANKS A LOT, GOD! THE BLUE WAVE DINT COME. THEM DUKIES CRUSHED COACH CAL. AND STOOPS WET HIS PANTS ON THE BIG GAMES. I WANT TO LAUGH AT U OF SMELL BUT US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS IS KINDA SKEERED THAT THEIR NEW COACHES IS GONNA TURN IT AROUND.

THAT VINCE TYRUS DONE PRESSURE WARSHED AWAY ALL THE SCUMBAG, STRIPPER POLE HEROES LIKE PETRINKO, PAPA JOHN, SLICK RICK, AND TOMMY TURNTLENECK. THE U OF SMELL MOUNT RUSHMORE OF TRAGEDY DONE BEEN DEMOLISHED. WHAT IF THESE NEW U OF SMELL COACHES START WHOOPIN U UH KAY? I DON’T KNOW IF US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS CAN HANDLE IT. MATT JONES GOT DRUNK IN HIS BIG BLUE BOO HOO BAR FRIDEE NIGHT AFTER COACH CAL’S WEAK PERFORMANCE AND COACH CAL IS OVER IN A SIDE BOOTH. I HOPE MATT AND CAL DON’T GO ALL PORCINI’S WITH EACH OTHER.

Jesus. Not sure whether this is the real Baptist son of God or the fake bingo tolerant Jesus.

AND NOW WE SEE THE NEW U OF SMELL FOOTBAW COACH IS A JESUS MAN, TAWKIN ABOUT THE LARD ALL THE TIME ON TWITTER. DADGUMMIT. I TODE YOU COACH CAL BEEN GOIN TO MASS EVER DAY TO PRAY TO THE FAKE CATHLICK GOD WHO ALLOWS BEER DRINKIN, BINGO PLAYIN, AND DANCIN. IF THIS U OF SMELL COACH IS PRAYIN TO THE REAL BABDIZ GOD THEN US CAT FANS IS IN BIG TROUBLE!

COME ON, MITCH BARNFART. DO SOMETHIN! TELL STOOPS AND COACH CAL TO PICK IT UP OR LET’S THROW EM ON THE TRASH HEAP AND HIRE NICK SABAN AND MIKE SHIT-SHETSKI. THEY’LL DO IT – DOWN DEEP EVERBODY WANTS TO BE A KENTUCKY WILDCAT! AWWWWWW SHAPE UP, SHIP OUT! SHAPE UP, SHIP OUT! WE IS THE ROMAN EMPIRE OF COLLEGE SPARTS AND RIGHT NOW THE ROMAN EMPIRE IS ON FIRE! DO SOMETHIN, DADGUMMIT! AWWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! WE DON’T WANT BAMA! WE DON’T WANT BAMA!

Beasman calls best team, Krzyzewski face, UofL fan necks: Cats, rats, and tats

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THE BEASMAN cats lose but loserville slaughtered
DON’T YOU EVEN START IN ON ME ABOUT U UH KAY LOSING, YOU CROSS-EYED, BUCK TEETH, BALD HAIR, STINKBREATH U OF SMELL APOLOGIST. DADGUMMIT, YOUR FILTHY CARDINAL CONVICTS LOST BY 400 POINTS, THE WORST BEATDOWN IN U OF SMELL HISTREE BUCEPT FOR THAT TIME IN WORLD WAR TWO THE JAPPER-NESE BOMBED CARDINAL STADIUM.

Y’ALL CARDINAL FANS OUGHT TO RISE UP AND THROW BOBBY PETRINKO OUT IN THE STREET AND CHASE HIM OUTTA TOWN LIKE U UH KAY DONE TO BILL CURRY, JERRY CLAIBONE, RICH BROOKS, HAL DUMMY, GUY MORRIS, AND THE JOKER. DON’T Y’ALL CARDINAL IDIOTS KNOW HOW TO FIRE A FOOTBAW COACH? YOU JUST MOVE HIS OFFICE TO THE TARLIT ROOM AND TELL HIM HE GOTTA START WARSHIN THE JOCK STRAPS.

THEN YOU TELL HIM THE NEPPER-TISM RULE KICKED IN AND SO HE GOTTA FIRE ALL HIS RELLER-TIVES ON THE PAYROLL. BOBBY PETRINKO GOT ABOUT 200 RELATIVES ALL DRAWING A PAYCHECK SO CUT ‘EM ALL OFF AND THEN THEY’LL LEAVE TOWN LIKE A PACK OF GYPSIES CHASIN A CIRCUS. (laffs)

YOU BUNCH OF CARDINAL IDIOTS AIN’T NEVER GONNA GIT YOUR FOOTBAW TEAM BACK TO RECEPTACKLE-BILITY. JUST THINK, A FEW YEARS AGO Y’ALL ACTUALLY WON THE ARNGE BO. NOW YOU COULDN’T GIT INVITED TO THE ARNGE VOMIT BO. (laffs) BOBBY PETRINKO AIN’T EVEN TRYIN NO MORE. HE JUST GOT WHOOPED 77-16 AND SPENT SUNDEE SETTIN IN A EASY CHAIR COUNTIN HIS MONEY AND LAUGHIN. (laffs) LARRY, WHY DON’T Y’ALL RAISE THE MONEY TO BUY HIM OUT?

I BETCHA KATINA POWELL COULD PUT ON A NASTY DANCIN SHOW AT THE TOY TIGER AND RAISE MILLIONS OF ONE DOLLAR BILLS. JUST GIT ANDRE MCGEE TO PRESSURE WARSH THEM DOLLARS CUZ THE BANK DON’T TAKE NO SKANK! (laffs)

OH LARRY, LARRY, LARRY. YOU GOTTA BE SICK TO YOUR STOMACH KNOWIN THAT THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS IS STILL TOP 12 IN FOOTBAW AND TOP 2 IN BASKETBAW. WE GOT THEM ROTTEN DUKIES COMIN UP AND THAT WILL PROVE THE CATS GREATNESS! COACH CAL SAID HE HOPES HIS YOUNG BASKETBAW TEAM CAN SCORE AS MANY POINTS AS CLEMSON FOOTBAW PUT UP ON LOSERVILLE! (laffs)

LARRY, I SEEN YOUR BALD HAIRED TWIN CHRIS MACK OUT THERE ACTIN LIKE BEATING RUSSELL SIMMONS COLLEGE WAS SOME KIND OF BIG DEAL. (laffs) OH WOW! YOU JUST BEAT A SCHOOL WITH 49 TOTAL STUDENTS, AND MOST OF THEM ARE OVER AGE 50. NICE ACCOMPLISHMENT, LOSERVILLE. THE SIMMONS COLLEGE TEAM PITCHER LOOKED LIKE AN AARP NEWSLETTER. (laffs)

WHEN Y’ALL GONNA PLAY DUKE? LET’S SEE WHO GONNA DO GOODER AGAINST CHEATIN COACH K AND HIS BAND OF MONEY GRUBBIN RECRUITS. ONLY KENTUCKY WILDCATS REFUSE TO TAKE MONEY, ACCORDING TO COACH CAL, WHO GOES TO MASS EVER DAY. ALL THEM OTHER SCHOOLS IS TURNIN A BLIND EYE TO SHOE COMPANIES GIVIN FAMILIES MONEY.

Terry Meiners with Bob Ley on Outside the Lines, ESPN, October 2017

U OF SMELL GOT CAUGHT AND NOW YOUR BOYFRIEND SLICK RICK CAINT FIND WORK. IS HE LIVIN IN YOUR BASEMENT NOW, LARRY? TOO BAD, SO SAD! NO SLICK RICK TO KICK AROUND NO MORE. HE DINT EVEN SHOW UP FOR THE BREEDERS CUP CUZ AIN’T NOBODY WANTS HIM BACK IN LOSER-TOWN. (laffs) MEANTIME, ALL EYES IS ON THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS AS WE TAKE DOWN TWO ENEMAS THIS WEEK: DUKE IN BASKETBAW AND TENNERSEE IN FOOTBAW! THE ONLY THING U OF SMELL CAN TAKE DOWN IS BANNERS! (laffs)

I LOVE IT! AWWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! AND MIKE SHIT-SHETSKI’S FACE LOOKS LIKE RATS! RATS! RATS! AND U OF SMELL FAN’S NECKS IS FILLED WITH TATS! TATS! TATS! (laffs) GO CATS! GO BLUE! AWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS!

A Louisville Cardinal in jail – sometimes the jokes just write themselves

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Meanwhile, University of Louisville football coach Bobby Petrino is under fire for his ineptitude in the closing minutes of a guaranteed win against conference rival Florida State. Oops.

To add insult to injury, the Tallahassee newspaper still calls it Papa John’s Cardinal Stadium. Double oops.

1st world problem: my free seats aren’t good enough

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Jason “Puma” Pass

A few days before the University of Louisville football team opened its 2018 season with a nationally televised battle against #1 Alabama, an unnecessary upheaval derailed the focus from football.

The son of former athletics director Tom Jurich attacked the new athletics director over a future seating matter that should have been handled by whomever negotiated the the elder Jurich’s severance package.

Mark Jurich sent a scathing email debasing his former close friend Vince Tyra, the new athletics director who replaced Mark’s dad Tom Jurich. The email, printed below, is filled with vicious personal attacks all wrapped around the notion of “disrespect” shown to Tyra’s predecessor.

Tom Jurich and his loyal son Mark both believe that Tyra “schemed for over a year” to oust Tom Jurich and replace him as athletics director.

Tyra says the Jurich claim is laughable, noting that he was already semi-retired and planning to spend abundant time living in Florida before being pursued by UofL administrators.

Son defends dad. We get it. I even told Mark it was a “badass” message.

The problem is that parts of the Mark Jurich email turned out to be woefully misleading.

Tom and Mark Jurich – photo: The Crunch Zone

The post-email scorecard – Timing: horrible. Payoff: zero. Sending emails while emotionally wound up? Always foolish.

Here is the complete email from Mark Jurich to Vince Tyra, who later called it “silly and sad.”

——

In writing this email, I hope to be clear. It has been my goal to move on – yet you continue to attack my family which gives me no other option than to respond. This email is not about tickets. It is about you and the University dishonoring my father and your blatant disrespect for my family.

If you cannot bear the sight, or rather the optics of Tom Jurich in the YUM! Center or Cardinal Stadium, you are weaker than I thought. If you feel the need to hide my dad in a corner to make yourself feel important or simply comfortable, then so be it — he will do that for you. But you cannot possibly think you can erase him by hiding him in these stadiums. His fingerprints are everywhere. Your coaches still call my dad for advice. Your players still call my dad for insight. Your administration still calls my dad for guidance.

However, this all begs the following questions. Why be so petty? Why not be confident in the leader you think you are, rather than disregard the leader my father has always been? Why not honor him? Why not allow him to keep the seats he has earned after 20 years? These seats aren’t a gift. They were accepted in lieu of a pay raise. You have allowed Jim Ramsey and Kevin Miller (mind you, the athletic dept. accountant and the primary sport administrator for men’s basketball since I was in college) to maintain their seat locations, parking passes and dignity. My father honored Denny Crum with a prominent seat at YUM! for all the great things he did. So why the disparity?

Have you ever considered what my father did for you? He honored the legacy of your father. He was a steward of your money. He provided you with an amazing atmosphere for you as a fan and created a great product for you and your family. So why the continued efforts to embarrass us? My dad’s balance sheet has been on display for 20 years. Would you like for us to discuss yours? Would you like for us to discuss what I did for you at Cardinal Alley?

Or, Vince are you simply out of your league? What do you stand for? How do you look into my eyes moments after my father was placed on leave and say “I will do everything to make sure this University honors your dad”? Can you imagine me treating your son Cooper this way? No, because I never would.

While you were focused on $.79 pom-poms, Tyra jerseys and removing Jurich banners, you should’ve been focused on bridging the gap within our fanbase and supporting our program. The butchering of the NCAA appeal makes me question your agenda. To see the destruction of 20 years’ work in 10 months is heartbreaking. To see our top donors leave is understandable. You can package this however makes you most comfortable, but I question, as should everyone else, are you part of the problem? Is your ego so fragile that you cannot celebrate the man who preceded you?

The vision, unprecedented growth, wins, first-class facilities, world-class coaches, sponsorships, partnerships, conference realignments, conference championships, world series, bowl games, national championships. The campus, the city, the state, etc., etc., etc.

All Tom.

How quickly one forgets.

Now that I have reminded you, would you like to reconsider your decision? You and I both know that it is never too late to do the right thing.

-Mark

——-

But sports marketer Mark Jurich misread the room. In what he’d hoped would generate a massive wave of support for his dad’s legacy, the overwhelming response was “please go away.” Read the comments in the Tweet thread below.

Respondents pounced on the irony of a professional marketing guy admitting that his messaging skills are faulty. And how does publicly throwing venom at a former friend engender trust in any potential client?

The truth is that the Jurich basketball tickets were moved straight across the arena to the other side, taking them out of direct TV camera view. These seats are valued at exactly the same price, with the exact same viewpoint, just directly opposite.

Tom Jurich was paid millions of dollars for a job well done, and given millions more upon his forced departure. The tickets were just a bonus for a multimillionaire who is unlikely to return for a Louisville game.

Tyra says that the Juriches “didn’t do (crap)” for his father, all-American Charlie Tyra.

Jurich and Tyra could have discussed their differences privately but someone leaked the email to a newspaper columnist just before the giant football showcase. The timing showed selfish disregard for the football program and the fan base.

Was this drama orchestrated by a prominent former donor who’s considering a run for statewide office? Other people suspect that Jurich family spokesman Bob Gunnell leaked the email and may have helped in crafting it.

Doesn’t matter now. It was a rude, thoughtless, self-serving distraction that stole limelight away from today’s athletes who faithfully represent the University of Louisville.

BTW, the UofL football team was crushed by Alabama 51-14. Mark Jurich now has a peculiar shame blanket to wear when he returns to see the Cards play football or basketball in his free seats.

Few people cheer for an unappreciative rich guy in free seats. Oh, and can we FINALLY get back to cheering for the current football, basketball, baseball, and all of the other UofL teams?

The Jurich era at the University of Louisville saw unprecedented fundraising and facilities construction and expansion. UofL basketball was #1 on a Forbes list of most valuable college bball teams.

Today UofL is hemorrhaging money and will joyfully sell the Jurich tickets once the severance deal for freebies runs out in several years.

The lawyers who negotiated the Tom Jurich severance package are 100% responsible for not specifying exact seating arrangements for the Jurich family to use or resell.

Premium seats like the Jurich set are still selling well but overall game attendance and ticket sales are falling at universities all across America. Rampant “cut the cord” cable losses reduce TV payouts to schools. The new tax law eliminates the 80% charitable write-off for buying personal seat licenses for games. Suddenly a family or company’s $10,000 PSL is no longer drilled down to $2,000 out-of-pocket.

What do you think is the first to go in a family’s discretionary income bucket? Buh-bye, live sports event. Hello, HD home screen or streaming device.

Old folks are turning away from attending games with rising prices for tickets, parking, and concessions. Millennials seek other entertainment options. Soccer, anyone?

Alumni donations to school foundations are in a freefall.

School revenues may never again reach the levels of the Jurich era. Joining the ACC blasted Louisville into the big time, but even the big schools are struggling with declining revenues.

Vince Tyra – photo: the crunch zone

During that recent UofL heyday, Vince Tyra had to donate nearly a half a million dollars to earn the right to buy the tickets that he still pays for today.

Who sold him that exorbitant ticket package? Mark Jurich, the guy sitting in free seats and complaining about their location.

Who enraged thousands of longtime Cardinal customers by pushing their Freedom Hall lower arena seats up toward the Yum Center rafters so that new donors could jump the line and sit down low?

That would be Mark Jurich, whose UofL income was based on his fundraising abilities.

Twisting a Mark Jurich question from his acerbic email, have you ever considered what UofL fan generosity has done for you?

iHeart VP Earl Jones, Tom Jurich, Tony Cruise, and Terry Meiners (November 2, 2017)

An unverified preview of Rick Pitino’s tell-all book

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SLICK RICK’S BOOK OF LIES as read by The Beasman

CHAPTER ONE

I, SLICK RICK BUTEENER, DO SOLEMN-TY SWEAR THAT EVERTHANG I WROTE DOWN HERE IS A HUNDERD TEN PERCENT TRUE. BACK IN OCTOBER TWO THOUSAND FIFTEEN, I WAS IN MY OFFICE PRAYIN’ THE ROSARY, MAKIN DONATIONS TO CHARITIES, AND SEWING AMERICAN FLAGS FOR DISABLED VETRENS WHEN THE PHONE RINGS. I PICK IT UP AND MY BALD FAN BOY LARRY MINNER IS A-SCREAMIN SOMETHIN ABOUT THERE’S THIS FLOOZY NAME OF KATRINER POWELL AND SHE’S A-GOIN ON MATT JONES LECTRIC RADIO SHOW TAWKIN BOUT STRIPPERS SEXIN’ UP THE U OF SMELL BASKETBAW PLAYERS IN THE DARM. AND I SAYS “LARRY, SHE’S LYIN. AIN’T NOBODY HAS SEX IN THEM LITTLE DARM BEDS. WILD WOMEN ONLY HAS SEX IN RESTRUNT BOOTHS OR PAPA JOHN’S FRONT YARD HOT TUB.” THEN I HUNGED UP THE PHONE AND STARTED THINKIN ABOUT ADOPTING MORE ORPHANS WHEN A KNOCK COME TO THE DOOR AND IN WALKS A COUPLE OF F.B.I. AGENTS. I SAYS TO ‘EM, “YOU WANT ME TO AUTER-GRAPH YOUR WALKIE TALKIES?” AND THEY SAYS NAW, THEY NEED TO TAWK TO ME ABOUT SOME OF MY PLAYERS FAMILY’S GITTIN MONEY FROM ADIDAS. AND I SAYS TO THEM, I DON’T KNOW NOTHING ABOUT NO SHOE MONEY. BRIAN BOWEN JUST FELL OUT OF THE SKY AND MADE ME THE LUCKIEST COACH IN THE WORLD. AND THEM F.B.I. AGENTS PLAYED A TAPE OF MY ASSISTANT COACH TAWKIN TO THE SHOE GUY AND A GANGSTER ABOUT PAYIN MORE MONEY TO SOME OTHER U OF SMELL RECRUIT. AND SO I TELLS THE F.B.I. THAT I DIDN’T KNOW THAT ASSISTANT COACH, THAT HE WAS FAKE NEWS, JUST WEARING OUR CARDINAL SHIRT AND ACTIN LIKE HE KNOWED ME. THEN MY LAWYER TODE ME TO SHUT UP SO I IGNORED HIM AND CALLED MY BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN BOYFRIEND LARRY MINNER AND TODE HIM TO PUT ME ON THE RADIO RIGHT NOW SO I COULD DECLARE MY INNER-SENCE. LARRY THROWED ME SOFTBAW QUESTIONS SO I COULD ACT LIKE I DIDN’T DO NOTHIN WRONG AND DINT KNOW NOTHIN ABOUT NO FLOOZYS OR BAGS OF MONEY GOIN TO NO BRIAN BOWEN’S DADDY. AND THEN I SAID COACH CAL WAS BEHIND ALL THIS FAKE F.B.I. CHARGES AND THAT GOVERNOR MATT BLEVINS WAS LOADIN UP THE U OF SMELL BOARD WITH HIS PUPPETS SO THEY WOULD FIRE ME AND TOM JORDACHE AND PUT A BUNCH OF BOOTLICKIN HOLY ROLLERS IN THEIR PLACES.

CHAPTER TWO

PAPA JOHN WAS STILL ON THE BOARD NOT CUZ HE IS A HOLY ROLLER BUT BECAUSE GOVERNOR BLEVINS NEEDS HIS MONEY TO HELP HIM GIT RE-ELECTED AFTER HE MADE ALL THEM TEACHERS MAD. SO PAPA JOHN HOPPED IN HIS HELICHOPTER AT HIS PIZZA PLANTATION AND FLOWED TO THE BOARD OF TRAITORS MEETING WHERE HE GIVE ALL THE OTHER BOARD MEMBERS LARGE 5-TOPPING PIZZAS FOR FREE. THEN HE GIVE SMALL PIZZAS WITH NO TOPPINGS TO THE AFRO AMERICAN BOARD MEMBERS. AFTER THEY STARTED CHEWING ON THEM PIZZERS, PAPA JOHN SAID “I WANT ALL Y’ALL BOARD MEMBERS TO VOTE WITH ME TO FIRE SLICK RICK TODAY CUZ HE IS WARSHED UP, JUST LIKE COLONEL SANDERS WAS IN HIS DAY.” AND SO ALL THEM PEOPLE EATIN FREE PIZZA SAID THEY WOULD DO AS PAPA JOHN WANTED AS LONG AS HE KEPT BRINGING FREE PIZZA TO THE MEETINGS. SO THEY FIRED ME FOR NO REASON WHATSOVER, AND THEN PAPA JOHN LAUGHED, STOOD UP AND TORE OFF HIS RED PIZZA BOY SHIRT AND HE WAS WEARING A BLUE BBN SHIRT UNDERNEATH. AND THEN HE SHOUTED “GO BIG BLUE” AND JUMPED IN HIS HELICHOPTER AND FLOWED TO COACH CAL’S HOUSE FOR DINNER. AND HE TOOK DAVID GRISSOM WITH HIM, WHO TODE PAPA JOHN THAT HE HAD TO PEE SO THEY FLEW OVER RICK BUTEENER’S HOUSE AND THEY BOTH WHIZZED DOWN ON IT FROM THE HELICHOPTER. I DIDN’T LET IT BOTHER ME. I KNEW I HADN’T DONE NOTHIN WRONG WITH NO CRAZY LADY IN THE RESTRUNT. I DINT KNOW NOTHIN ABOUT NO STRIPPER FLOOZYS SQUIRTIN ON THE CEILINGS, AND THEM F.B.I. PEOPLE IS A BUNCH OF LIARS ACCORDING TO PRESIDENT TRUMP, SO MY FACTS IS ALL TRUE AND EVERBODY ELSE IS OUT TO GIT ME.

COMING UP IN THE NEXT CHAPTER: HOW I TAUGHT CHARLIE STRONG AND BOBBY PETRINO HOW TO BE FAITHFUL HUSBANDS.

Expect a wild ride in the Rick Pitino book coming next month

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Former University of Louisville basketball coach Rick Pitino has promised to go after the three people he says got him fired. In his forthcoming book, Pitino has promised to tell “the real story” of his removal and the dismissal of athletics director Tom Jurich.

Pitino blames the school’s “board of traitors” (trustees), especially chairman David Grissom, trustee “Papa John” Schnatter, and interim school president Dr. Greg Postel. The former coach also says his book “will not be kind” to Kentucky Governor Matt Bevin.

Pitino and I will discuss his book on WHAS radio in a few weeks. Follow me on Twitter @terrymeiners for show updates.

The very bad week of Papa John Schnatter

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2009 photo: Lachlan McLean, Terry Meiners, Papa John Schnatter

The founder of Papa John’s pizza company admitted using the N-word during a recent media training exercise. The slur was reported on Forbes.com and “Papa John” Schnatter was quickly removed as chairman of the Louisville-based company.

The University of Louisville then removed Schnatter from its board of trustees, scrubbed his name from the business school, and Papa John’s pizza no longer retains naming rights to the Louisville football stadium. Papa John’s immediately bleached Schnatter’s image from all of its marketing materials.

The University of Kentucky then announced it would remove the Schnatter name from its business school, and Schnatter’s alma mater Jeffersonville High School scraped his name off the field house where the pizza baron donated $800,000 for upgrades.

At the end of his brutal week, John Schnatter spoke exclusively with me in a 28 minute freewheeling interview.

Deadspin.com ripped Schnatter’s entire appearance.

Schnatter claimed that he “was pushed” to say the N-word by the company conducting the training exercise. “I should have been more sensitive. I wasn’t raised that way. I did it. I own it. And I’m sick about it.” He added that he feels “horrible” for the Papa John’s “employees and franchisees who did nothing wrong.”

AD WEEK

In response to our interview, Papa John’s directors are demanding that Schnatter cease all media appearances. They even took the extraordinary step of preventing him from using his office space within the company headquarters.

Schnatter then wrote a letter to the board saying it was a mistake to resign his chairman position.

Reinstatement? Crickets.

In our WHAS Radio interview, Schnatter also claimed that Papa John’s “fired” the NFL, not the other way around, after his 2017 comments complaining about African American players protesting the national anthem. Rival chain Pizza Hut is now the official pizza of the NFL.

The WHAS interview also delved into Schnatter’s role in the firings of University of Louisville basketball coach Rick Pitino and athletics director Tom Jurich.

Schnatter chafed at the question about whether his family would continue living in the Louisville area or would flee the hot cauldron of controversy.

In a subsequent interview with WLKY-TV, Schnatter claimed that the Laundry Service marketing firm that conducted the media training tried to extort him “to make it go away.” The firm originally asked for $1 million for services then upped the price to $6 million. Schnatter claims a Laundry Service exec said “If I don’t get my f-ing money, I’m going to bury the founder.”

When I asked John Schnatter if he would sue the marketing firm that leaked his racist gaffe to media, he didn’t mention extortion. “I don’t like litigation. I don’t like lawyers. I don’t like what (Laundry Service marketing) did.”

Papa John’s was also dropped by marketing partner Olson Engage.

Now Major League Baseball execs urged Schnatter to stay away from Tuesday’s MLB All-Star game. Multiple teams have suspended or ceased their promotional deals with Papa John’s, and the MLB league-wide promotion of Papa Slams has been shelved.

Others think he needs to disappear entirely.

New York Post, July 13, 2018

COURIER-JOURNAL: The Rise & Fall of Papa John Schnatter

DEADSPIN: Pizza Dipshit John Schnatter Claims Victimhood in Strange Strange Radio Interview

AD WEEK: Ad Agency “Pressured” Schnatter into Using N-Word

For his part, Schnatter tells me he is focusing on the philanthropic work he has done and he plans to continue working for the betterment of his community.

One day after our radio chat, Schnatter wrote an impassioned letter to the Papa John’s board to recap his claim that he was coerced into the N-word discussion, the makings of an extortion attempt, and that he shouldn’t have resigned before the board conducted a complete investigation.

He’s now hired Los Angeles attorney Patricia Glaser, who has managed cases for Harvey Weinstein and Paula Deen, to handle his forced departure from Papa John’s. She has declared that Schnatter will not go quietly.

Does the NBA2Lou scare you?

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Terry Meiners & Dan Issel at the Louisville Forum, May 9, 2018 (photo: Phillip Bailey)

The Louisville Forum asked former NBA player and Denver Nuggets general manager Dan Issel to offer his thoughts on the NBA2Lou project. I was asked to moderate and throw in my own comments about the potential of snaring an NBA team for the city of Louisville.

Naturally, the subject creates animated opinions from those who are opposed to adding professional sports. Some fear that it would harm the University of Louisville’s athletic pursuits and others worry that taxpayers will be on the hook for various concessions made for team owners.

Issel and his investors have the city’s best interests in mind. Bring it on.

The CJ’s Phillip M. Bailey live-Tweeted the forum. Great audience questions and general enthusiasm for the prospect of bringing the NBA to The Ville.

Cards get their jaws jacked in the NIT, the Beasman suggest a Toys R Us strategy to go out of business

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THE BEASMAN cards pounded by miss state
(laffs) I BEEN A-LAUGHIN ALL LAST NIGHT AND TODAY WATCHING U OF SMELL’S DUMPSTER FIRE TURN INTO A INFERNO! GOVERNOR BLEVINS NEEDS TO DEE-CLARE THE U OF SMELL ATHLETICS DEE-PARTMENT A DISASTER AREA. IN CASE YOU DINT GIT THE LICENSE PLATE NUMBER OFF THE TRUCK THAT SMASHED YOUR N.I.T. DREAMS, IT SAID “MISTERSIPPI STATE.” (laffs)

photo of David Padgett by Gov. Matt Bevin

LOOK OUT, CARDINAL BIRDS…HERE COMES ANOTHER SLAM DUNK DOWN ON YOUR POINTY CHEATIN HEADS! LARRY, THE S.E.C. JACKS LITTLE BROTHER’S JAW AND EVERTHANG IS HAP-HA-HAPPY IN BIG BLUE NATION! HOW YOU DOIN, LARRY? I’M SO PROUD OF YOU FOR NOT KILLIN YOURSELF. I FIGGERED LOTS OF CARDINAL CRYBABY FANS WOULD JUMP OFF THE BRIDGE AFTER THAT N.I.T. DISASTER LAST NIGHT BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? I THINK Y’ALL ALL WANNA HANG AROUND TO CHEER AGAINST U UH KAY.

(laffs) AIN’T GONNA DO YOU NO GOOD! THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS IS GONNA WIN IT ALL AND THEN SHOVE THAT TROPHY UP IN YOUR UGLY, SNAGGLE TOOTH CARDINAL FACES. Y’ALL TAKE DOWN A BANNER AND U UH KAY PUTS UP A NEW ONE! I LOVE IT! SERIOUS BIDNIZ, LARRY. DO Y’ALL PINHEAD CARDINAL FANS FINALLY UNDERSTAND THAT THE S.E.C. IS WHERE ALL THE GREAT TEAMS PLAY? THE A.C.C. AIN’T NOTHIN BUT A BUNCH OF SWISHY BOY WILDCAT WANNABES.

LARRY, IT’S FINALLY TIME FOR U OF SMELL TO TAKE A HARD LOOK IN THE MIRROR…THAT IS…IF THE MIRROR AIN’T FILLED WITH COCAINE, AND SAY TO YOURSELF “IS IT TIME TO GIVE UP BASKETBAW FOR GOOD?” I MEAN, THINK ABOUT IT. THE F.B.I. DONE EXPOSED YOU AS SHOE PIMP CHEATERS. THE NC2A DONE EXPOSED YOUR STRIPPER POLE AND GRANDMA PROSTERTUTES. AND SLICK RICK DONE HAD SEX ON A RESTRUNT TABLE.

LARRY, U OF SMELL BASKETBAW IS LIKE TOYS R US. IT’S TIME TO JUST CLOSE IT UP AND GO OUTTA BIDNIZ FOREVER. Y’ALL TRIED. Y’ALL CHEATED…BUT YOU TRIED. AND NOW IT’S OVER.

YOU DON’T GOTTA GO PAY THAT BALD GUY IN CINCINNAPLISS MILLIONS OF DOLLARS TO MOVE DOWN HERE AND SAVE YOU. U OF SMELL IS BROKE ANYWAY. SAVE YOURSELF THE TROUBLE, THE MONEY, AND THE SHAME AND JUST DO LIKE TOYS R US… SHUT IT ALL DOWN FOR GOOD. YOU GOT NO RECRUITS FOR NEXT YEAR. YOUR PROGRUM IS THE BUTT OF JOKES. SLICK RICK AND TOMMY TURTLENECK BURNT IT DOWN TO THE GROUND SO THE DECENT THING FOR Y’ALL TO DO IS BURY IT AND JUST LET THE WHOLE STATE CHEER FOR KENTUCKY. COME ON…SAY IT WITH ME. AWWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS!

LET BIG BLUE NATION PAINT YOUR CHICKEN BUCKET SO THAT A NICE N.B.A. TEAM FILLED WITH FORMER WILDCATS CAN COME IN HERE AND SHOW Y’ALL WHAT REAL BASKETBAW LOOKS LIKE. (laffs) AND YOU NEED TO REE-TIRE AND LET MATT JONES HAVE YOUR RADIO SHOW SO US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS CAN GIT ON ALL DAY AND TAWK ABOUT COACH CAL AND HOW HE DON’T CHEAT AND HOW ALL THESE SUPERSTARS COME TO U UH KAY WITHOUT NO SHOE MONEY CUZ THEY JUST LOVE THE CATS. WELL, EXCEPT FOR BAM. HE GOT $48,000 BUT COACH CAL DINT KNOW ABOUT IT. AND NERLENS NOEL ONLY GOT $4,400. THAT’S LUNCH MONEY FOR A N.B.A. STAR LIKE HIM. AND KEVIN KNOX JUST GOT A SAMWICH AND A YOOHOO DRINK. EVERBODY ELSE LIKE JOHN WALL, BOOGIE, ANTHONY DAVIS, KARL ANTHONY TOWNS, AND JULIUS RANDLE…THEY ALL COME HERE FOR FREE CUZ THEY LOVE THE BIG BLUE.

COACH CAL – HE GOES TO MASS EVER DAY – HE WENT TO CHURCH TWICE THIS MARNIN TO THANK THE LARD FOR MAKIN LOSERVILLE DIE A PAINFUL DEATH. COACH CAL TODE GOD TO SMITE U OF SMELL FOR BEIN SINNERS AND GOD DONE WHAT COACH CAL SAID. AND SO COACH CAL GONNA GO TO MASS AGAIN TONIGHT TO TELL GOD TO MAKE SURE THAT CRANKY OLD NUN SISTER JEAN GOTTA LOSE ON THURSDEE. IF U UH KAY AND THAT NUN BOTH ADVANCE TO SAIRDEE, COACH CAL DON’T WANT THAT ROTTEN NUN TO PULL RANK AND GIT GOD TO FIX THE GAME FOR HER.

SO CAT FANS…SET BACK, RELAX, AND BE SURE TO MAWK ALL THEM U OF SMELL SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, NECK TATTOO, WELFARE QUEEN, FOULMOUTH, MOUTHBREATHER, DRIVE BY SHOOTIN, SPINELESS, TOOTHLESS, CROSS-EYED, G.E.D. FLUNKIN, MAKIN BABIES OUT OF WEDLOCK, GODLESS, BRAINLESS, BEER BREATH CARDINAL CONVICT FANS. TELL ‘EM BLUE GITS IN AND RED IS DEAD. BLUE GITS IN AND RED IS DEAD. BLUE GITS IN AND RED IS DEAD! GO CATS! GO BLUE! AWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS!