THE BEASMAN march madness (1)

HEY LARREEEEEE…LARRY THE LOSER DONE TODE HIS BALD BUDDY CHRIS MACK TO NOT BOTHER PACKIN NO OVERNIGHT BAG. THE NC2A FOUNT ANOTHER PITINO TO WRECK YOUR PROGRUM. U OF SMELL FIRED HIS DADDY AND SLICK RICK IS SUIN U OF SMELL FOR FARDY MILLION DOLLARS. I BETCHA RICHARD PITINO GONNA HAVE ANDRE MCGEE SETTIN ON HIS BENCH ALONG WITH THREE F.B.I. AGENTS REFEREEING THE GAME. (laffs) Y’ALL AIN’T GOT A PRAYER, YOU BUNCH OF SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, DUKE COLLAPSIN FOOLS. (laffs)

MEANTIME, AMERICA’S TEAM, THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS GONNA ROLL RIGHT THROUGH THAT WEAK SAUCE BRACKET LIKE THE BULLS IN PIMP-PLANNO. U UH KAY’S BRACKET IS LIKE THAT LOSERVILLE SINKHOLE…ALL THEM OTHER FOOLS DONE GOT SUCKED INTO THE BLACK HOLE CUZ THEY KNOW THE MIGHTY KENTUCKY WILDCATS IS COMIN TO SMASH THEIR UGLY FACES. I BETCHA $50 THAT MURRAY STATE AND NORTHERN KENTUCKY LAST LONGER IN THE BIG DANCE THAN LOSERVILLE. (laffs) IT’S PARTY TIME, CAT FANS! THE BIG BLUE IS SET UP FOR GREATNESS CUZ AIN’T NOBODY CAN LAY A GLOVE ON US.

NARTH CARAMALINER IS A BUNCH OF FRAUDS. EVEN LOSERVILLE BEAT THEM. THEY SUCK. SO YOU KNOW WE GOIN TO THE FINAL FOUR. AND ZION WILLIAMSTOWN IS SKEERED OF U UH KAY CUZ HE KNOWS THEY GOT LUCKY BACK AT THE BEGINNING OF THE SEASON. U UH KAY WANTS REE-VENGE. AND SEEIN TENNERSEE GIT SPANKED IN THE S.E.C. CHAMPERCHIP WAS HI-LARIOUS! THEY IS A BUNCH OF FRAUDS AND AUBURN PROVED IT.

BUT WHEN U UH KAY LOSES THE S.E.C. TOURNEYMINT CHAMPERCHIP WE ALWAYS SAY THEY’LL USE IT AS MOTOR-VATION AND THAT WE IS GLAD THEY LOST BEFORE MARCH MADNESS CUZ THAT TAKES THE PRESSURE OFF. BUT WHEN TENNERSEE DOES IT, THAT’S BECAUSE THEY’RE FRAUDS WHO GONNA FOLD IN THE NC2A.

THAT’S CAT FAN LOGIC, LARRY! LEARN IT, LIVE IT, LOVE IT! AWWWW C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! I’M GONNA CALL IN TO ALL THE OTHER RADIO SHOWS TO LET ‘EM KNOW U OF SMELL IS LITTLE BROTHER SCUMBAGS AND THAT U UH KAY AIN’T WHININ ABOUT OUR BRACKET FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE COACH CAL GOT HERE. (laffs)

GO BIG BLUE! GO CATS! FINAL FOUR! FINAL FOUR! AND I AIN’T TALKIN ABOUT HOW MANY TEETH YOUR MAMA GOT LEFT! (laffs) AND SHUT UP ABOUT GIRL BASKETBAW. ONLY LOSERS AND SWISHY BOYS ACT LIKE GIRL BASKETBAW MATTERS. REAL BASKETBAW FANS KNOW THAT THE KENTUCKY WILDCAT MEN’S TEAM IS COMIN THROUGH THEM BRACKETS LIKE A TAR-NADO THROUGH A BULLITT COUNTY TRAILER PARK. GIT OUTTA THE WAY TEXAS ALBACORE! HERE COME THE CATS! GO BIG BLUE! GO BIG BLUE! GO BIG BLUE! DUKE SUCKS! YOU CAINT SPELL DUKE WITHOUT A U AND K IN THE MIDDLE! GO CATS! FINAL FOUR! FINAL FOUR! FINAL FOUR! C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS!

THE BEASMAN march madness (2)

FOR ONCE, COACH CAL AIN’T CRYIN THE BLUES ABOUT TOO MANY TOUGH TEAMS IN OUR PATH. LOOKS TO ALL US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS THAT THEY LINED US UP AGAINST A BUNCH OF NANCY BOYS. TEXAS ALBACORE AND WOFFORD AND WHITNEY HOUSTON. (laffs) NOTHIN BUT SWISHY BOYS IN U UH KAY’S REGIONAL. AND SEVEN S.E.C. TEAMS IS IN THE BIG DANCE, SAME AS THE A.C.C. SO SHUT YOUR CAKE HOLE ABOUT THE A.C.C. BEIN THE BEST CONFRENCE, YOU BUNCH OF FLATBILL, LINE BEARD U OF SMELL CARDINAL CONVICT FANS. (laffs)

BUT I GUESS YOU CROOKED TEETH, BOURBON BREATH, SISTER-DATIN U OF SMELL CARDINAL BIRDS FEEL PURDY GOOD ABOUT YOURSELFS NOT GOIN TO THE N.I.T. WHERE YOU BLONG, YOU BUNCH OF DIVISION TWO LITTLE BROTHER, SAGGY PANTS, RAP MUSIC, STREET THUG, DRIVE BY SHOOTIN, GRAFFITI PAINTIN, G.E.D. FLUNKIN LOSERVILLE CARDINAL NOBODIES. (laffs) Y’ALL GOTTA GO TO IOWA, A STATE THAT AIN’T NEVER SEEN GANG BANG, FACE TATTOO, GOLD CHAIN WEARIN, MAKIN BABIES OUT OF WEDLOCK THUG FANS LIKE LOSERVILLE GOT! (laffs)

GO LITTLE PITINO! BEAT THAT VILLE! PITINO KNOWS HOW TO MANAGE THE LAST 15 SECONDS! (laffs) ALL US GOOD AND CLASSY CAT FANS IS PULLIN FOR MINNERSOTA TO SEND THE VILLE HOME ONE-AND-DONE! THAT WILL GIVE THE F.B.I. MORE TIME TO INTERRERGATE YOUR CRIMINAL CARDINAL PLAYERS WHILE THE REST OF US ENJOY WATCHIN U UH KAY WIN TITLE NUMBER NINE! (laffs)

I AIN’T GONNA LIE TO YOU, LARRY. ME AND ALL MY WILDCAT BUDDIES WAS PURDY SICK TO OUR STOMACH TO LOSE THE S.E.C. TOURNEY TO THEM PRISON JUMPSUIT ARGE TENNERSEE NOBODIES…AND THEN THEY GO TO THE CHAMPERCHIPS AND GIT BEATDOWN BY CHEATIN BRUCE PEARL. AIN’T NONE OF IT MAKES NO SENSE, DADGUMMIT.

BUT COACH CAL ALWAYS SAYS “IT BEEZE WHAT IT BEEZE.” US GOOD AND CLASSY KENTUCKY WILDCAT FANS GONNA FOLLOW PEE JAY’S ADVICE AND JUST FORGIT ABOUT THE ADMIRAL AND THEM OTHER TENNERSEE FRAUDS AND GIT FOCUSED ON THAT ROW OF CUPCAKES WE UP AGAINST IN THE NC2A. TEXAS ABILENE. THAT’S A BIBLE SCHOOL BUT THEY AIN’T GOT NO PRAYER TO STOP HERRO, HAGANS, PJ, NICK, EJ, AND COACH CAL. TITLE NINE! TITLE NINE! TITLE NINE! AND I AIN’T TAWKIN ABOUT NO STUPID GIRL SPARTS. I’M TALKIN ABOUT U UH KAY GITTIN THE NINTH NATIONAL CHAMPERCHIPS BANNER THIS YEAR. THE A.C.C. IS A BUNCH OF FRAUD NOBODIES.

WE WANT THE TURD HEELS! I BETCHA NARTH CARAMALINER WON’T NEVER GIT TO U UH KAY CUZ THEY IS FOOL’S GOLD. KENTUCKY CAN WHOOP ALL THEM SISSIES IN OUR BRACKET! THEN WE WANT THE VIRGINNY WHITE SPREMACISTS! OR DUKE! THEY ALL SUCK! S.E.C. BASKETBAW IS THE BEST LEAGUE BUT THE TOURNEYMINT IS RUN BY A BUNCH OF DUKE LOVERS WHO TRY TO MAKE IT FEEL LIKE THE A.C.C. IS GREAT BUT LOOK AT ALL THE S.E.C. TEAMS IN. L.S.WHO, FLARIDER, TENNERSEE, OLE MISS, MISTERSIPPI STATE, AND AUBURN IS ALL IN THERE WITH THE KENTUCKY WILDCATS SO LET THAT SINK IN.

YOU A.C.C. DOORMAT CARDINAL BIRDS WILL BE OUT ON THE FIRST DAY BUT ALL YOU BRAINLESS U OF SMELLERS CAN AT LEAST WAIT FOR THE LADY BASKETBAW BRACKET TO COME OUT TONIGHT WHERE YOU ACTUALLY GOT A CHANCE TO HANG AROUND. I BETCHA THEM MANLY U OF SMELL GIRLS GONNA GIT A #1 SEED. BIG WHOOPTY DO, DADGUMMIT! BALDY MACK AND HIS BAD NEWS BEARS GONNA BE ONE-AND-DONE IN THE BIG DANCE AND SO THEN ALL Y’ALL CARDINAL CRYBABIES CAN ACT LIKE YOU REALLY CARE ABOUT GIRL BASKETBAW AND CHEER REAL LOUD FOR YOUR LADY CARD FRAUDS. I KNOW THEY BEAT UCONN ONE TIME IN 19 TRIES.

WELL GUESS WHAT? PURDY SOON THE COUNT WILL GO TO ONE OUT OF TWUNNY CUZ AIN’T NO WAY THAT I-TALIAN STALLION OF LADY BALL GENO AUREOLA GONNA LOSE TWICE TO THEM CARDINAL BROADS. (laffs) THAT WHOLE LADY CARDINAL TEAM LOOKS LIKE IT OUGHTA BE IN M.M.A. FIGHTIN INSTEAD OF BASKETBAW, BUT GO AHEAD AND ACT LIKE Y’ALL CARE. REAL BASKETBAW FANS KNOW THAT THE KENTUCKY WILDCAT MEN’S TEAM IS COMIN THROUGH THEM BRACKETS LIKE A TAR-NADO THROUGH A BULLITT COUNTY TRAILER PARK. GIT OUTTA THE WAY TEXAS ALBACORE! HERE COME THE CATS! GO BIG BLUE! GO BIG BLUE! GO BIG BLUE! DUKE SUCKS! YOU CAINT SPELL DUKE WITHOUT A U AND K IN THE MIDDLE! GO CATS!