I'm savowing the best time of year. Merry Christmas, everyone! No one is messing with grandma this Christmas! Don't worry about my idiot Uncle Billy losing this year's bank deposit. We do it electronically now. And what Christmas would be complete without the Songified version of Home Alone...
Year: 2016
Deniers cringe at the Trumpification of America; media in a tizzy
The war between the Trumpsters and the Liberals is just warming up. As Trump Derangement Syndrome continues to grip about half of America, President-elect Donald Trump launched his victory tour across America. He visited Indianapolis for the Carrier jobs celebration and then went on to Cincinnati where Kentucky Governor Matt Bevin spent time with Trump and VP-elect Mike Pence. The next day, Gov. Bevin spent time in my studio recounting the event and projecting how a Trump presidency will benefit Kentucky and America. BEVIN INTERVIEW on Trump, media, Mother Teresa, Louisville homicides, & more 10 THINGS LIBERALS WANT FROM PRESIDENT OBAMA BEFORE HE LEAVES OFFICE Matt Bevin's surprise 2015 victory in Kentucky turned out to be the canary in the coal mine for
The Beasman: God smites Cards for playbook theft, Cats shock the world
radio scripts for Monday, November 28, 2016 THE BEASMAN #1 it’s over OH BOO HOO HOOOOO! KEEP CRYIN’ YOUR CARDINAL TEARS…THEY’RE DELICIOUS! (laffs) AWWWWW C-A-T-S! CATS! CATS! CATS! KEEP BURNIN THEM COUCHES, CAT FANS! THIS HERE IS BIGGER ‘EN CHRISTMAS! U UH KAY DONE SLAYED THE EVIL CARDINAL DEMONS! STEPHEN JOHNSON FOR HEISMAN! MARK STOOPS FOR S.E.C. COACH OF THE YEAR! U UH KAY WILDCATS FOR THE PLAYOFFS! BOOM WILLIAMS FOR PLAYER OF THE YEAR! AWWWW BLUE! WHITE! BLUE! WHITE! CATS! CATS! CATS! (laffs) IT’S FINALLY OVER FOR YOU LOWDOWN, SAGGY PANTS, BACKWARDS CAP, RAP MUSIC, NECK TATTOO, GANG BANG, U OF SMELL CARDINAL POSERS. YOU DONE BEEN EXPOSED BY THE GOOD AND CLASSY KENTUCKY WILDCATS! AIN’T NO
Blue Christmas
Louisville businessman Jonathan Blue filed for divorce earlier this year alleging that his (now former) wife Tracy was having an affair with Texas Longhorns head coach Charlie Strong. Mr. Blue asked for the return of several expensive gifts Mrs. Blue had allegedly given the coach and there was a subpoena issued for his testimony in their divorce case. The divorce proceedings were resolved prior to any court appearance by Strong. Court documents claimed that Mrs. Blue and Coach Strong, both married at the time, began their affair while Strong was the head coach at the University of Louisville where Jonathan Blue was on the school's Board of Trustees. Claims made in a lawsuit give only one side of a case. Mr.
Cats stun Cards 41-38 in football reversal of fortunes
It was a swagger switch no one anticipated...totally Trumpian in its scope. Ever since Donald Trump won the presidential election, the football fortunes of the University of Kentucky and University of Louisville turned in completely opposite directions. UK is soaring and UofL is imploding. Mark Stoops' Kentucky Wildcats were 25 point underdogs coming into Louisville's stadium for the regular season closer. Kentucky spent the season climbing out of its own rubble of unexpected early losses to eventually become bowl eligible. Louisville was sniffing the national championship playoffs until the Houston Cougars destroyed them last week. But at least UofL quarterback Lamar Jackson remained the prohibitive favorite to win the Heisman trophy. He even struck the pose
A U of L playoff is way off
THE BEASMAN Louisville football hammered HEY LARRRRRRREEEEEEEE! LARRY MINNERRRRR! YOUR CARDINAL TEARS IS DELICIOUS! THE BOOGER WAS RIGHT! NO PLAYOFFS FOR YOUR CARDINAL FRAUDS! CANCEL THE HEISMAN TROPHY! HOUSTON DONE EXPOSED LAY-MAR JACKSON AND HIS LITTLE HOPELESS CARDINAL BIRDS AS OVERRATED FRAUDS. OVERRATED! OVERRATED! LAY-MAR AINT GITTIN NO HEISMAN TROPHY…IT’S GOIN TO BOOM WILLIAMS. LAY-MAR GOT SACKED MORE THAN A KARDASHIAN ON A NBA TEAM BUS. AND YOUR OTHER GUYS WAS FUMBLIN ALL OVER THE PLACE. BUT I GOTTA TELL YA…Y’ALL GOT A GREAT PUNTER! (laff) HE WAS OUT THERE KICKIN LIKE A RADIO CITY ROCKETTE. KICK IT AGAIN, PUNTER MAN. IT’S THE ONLY YARDAGE U OF SMELL CAN MUSTER
Prayers delivered
After the most contentious election season of our lifetimes, Amazon delivered the best healing image of the year
High holy season returns to Kentucky
The joy quotient in the Commonwealth of Kentucky shoots through the ceiling every November when basketball season begins. It's a religion in the state. Other states celebrate Rhodes scholars changing the world. We celebrate sweaty teenagers who can dunk a ball or sprint with a pigskin. That's just who we are. >>>>>>>>>RADIO SCRIPT>>>>>>>>> THE BEASMAN tipoff luncheon air date 10-28-16 WELL, THERE’S YOUR GAY BOYFRIEND SLICK RICK OUT THERE TO THE TIPOFF LUNCHEON TELLING HIS LIES AGAIN. “OHHH. U OF SMELL FANS IS GONNA BE HAPPY AGAIN CUZ WE GONNA GO OUT THERE AND WIN ANOTHER BANNER.” THAT’S A BUNCH OF HORSE PUCKEY. WHAT KIND OF BANNER IS THAT I-TALIAN MAFIA MAN TAWIN BOUT…A MEMORIAL BANNER FOR
Pharma Karma
Some people are losing their minds over Bob Dylan being awarded a Nobel Prize in literature, noting that only 14 women (3 of whom are POC) have won the award in its 115 year history. Girls just wanna have Nobels, too! Bob doesn't care. White maleness aside, the illustration above says the trend can be extended into other areas of discovery.
After 40 years of broadcasting, I’m too lazy to quit now
I was never smart enough to get a real job. Nonetheless, this broadcasting thing seemed to work out. WHAS RADIO CLIPS WHAS ARCHIVED CLIPS FROM THE 80s WHAS-TV GREAT DAY LIVE VIDEO WQMF RADIO CLIPS WITH RON CLAY WLRS RADIO CLIPS WITH RON CLAY WKQQ CLIPS FROM THE 1970s Both of my sons have the media bug. Family tradition. It's all good. WHAS Radio "Ter's Top 73 clips of 1987" Getting paid to play in the snow? Sign me up. In 2016, my media buddies roasted me as a fundraiser for Seven Counties Services. My earliest TV series was the nightly news magazine PM Louisville with the delightful Ange Humphrey.